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How to Stop a Bully from Bullying You: 7 Powerful Strategies

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Want to know how to stop a bully from bullying you? This includes how to stop a narcissist from bullying you and how to stop a teacher from bullying you. Here are thirteen time-tested responses to bullies and bullying that you need to know.

how to stop a bully from bullying you

Having a bully on your tail can be frustrating, and that’s putting it mildly. If you’re like I was, you’re wondering what you can do to make this person go away and restore your peace of mind.
As someone who has experienced bullying firsthand, I’m giving you powerful tips on how to stop a bully from bullying you so that you can take your safety back.

You will learn about the most powerful strategies you can use to discourage bullies from coming for you and finally live a peaceful life.

Once you learn these time-tested strategies, you will make your bully think twice before targeting you again and win back your confidence, safety, and overall freedom.

This post is all about how to stop a bully from bullying you and the strategies you must use so that you can take back not only your confidence and self-esteem, but also a degree of control over what happens in your life.

How to stop a bully from bullying you

Many targets and victims of bullying have asked, “When will they stop bullying me?” That’s a fair question when it seems that everyone is bullying you every day for everything.

Therefore, here’s your answer. Bullies will stop bullying when you take away their power.
But…how do you take away their power?

You do it by using these strategies:

1. Stop giving a crap what people think or what they say.

However, getting to the point of not caring takes several realizations. It takes understanding what is behind the bullying. It also takes accepting that some people don’t matter.

Hey. I know it’s easier said than done. We all want to be liked and approved of by others. Being accepted and being part of a group is a natural human need.

But some people are just no good for us. Toxic people do not deserve to be in your life, and bullies are toxic people. So why should their opinions matter?

When you finally stop giving a crap what other people think, that’s when people will stop bullying you.

Believe this. There will come a time when the bullies have pulled the same shenanigans for so long.  And it will all become boring to you. I say this because that’s the way it went with me.

That’s when their words and tricks will no longer have any effect on you.

As a result, it will take the wind out of your bullies’ sails. They will soon leave you alone and move on to someone else. Then, your life will skyrocket!

2. How to stop a bully from bullying you: Realize that everyone endures trash-talk, not just you.

You must realize that there will always be those with something negative to say. Everyone gets talked about. We all have haters.

When you finally realize that you aren’t the only one people trash, you will have a whole new perspective. And it will serve as a buffer to any attacks bullies may launch.

Therefore, accept that not everyone will like you, and be okay with it. People are going to talk about you until the day you die, and even beyond. It’s just a part of life.

3. Know that a bully’s attacks say more about them than about you.

Again, just let them talk and embrace it! Stop thinking that something must be wrong with you. Because you’re fine just the way you are.

In fact, here are a few positive ways you can look at it:

  • When people talk about you, good or bad, at least you know you aren’t boring.
    And most people would rather be “bad” than boring.
  • You must be doing something right if people are mentioning you all the time. When they talk about you, good or bad, they make you relevant.
  • When people talk smack about you, it only means you still consume their minds.
    So, who’s really in control here?
  • You have a lot of power if you can stir resentment or hate in someone without trying or meaning to. Why? Because you control the dummy doing the talking. And you do it effortlessly.
  • They must really admire you and want to be like you.
    Otherwise, you wouldn’t even be an afterthought to them.
  • They’re admitting that they don’t have lives of their own. So, they take an interest in yours, which means that your life must be more interesting than theirs!
  •  They have an Obsession with you.
    As the old saying goes, “He who angers you controls you.”

So, why not feel good about it and, even better, take advantage of it by letting them talk because some things don’t need a defense.

Just sit back, smile, and let the pettiness amuse you. Be your sweet self, and others will see through the petty attacks, too.

When you finally wise up and take this approach, the results will surprise you, and your only regret will be that you didn’t realize this earlier.

Therefore, attitude is what it’s all about. With the right attitude, you can beat your bullies without ever lifting a finger!

4. Know that you do not need their approval and shouldn’t even consider it.

Bullies love to brainwash you into thinking you need their approval. You don’t!

Moreover, bullies draw their power from brainwashing another person and making them believe that they’re nothing without their approval. Don’t give your bullies that kind of power.

In other words, don’t believe those lies. Ask yourself this question. “Who are they that my worth should depend on their approval?”

The truth is that you are enough and always have been, and you don’t need their approval. Your bullies aren’t that important.

5. Realize that your bullies’ so-called coolness and badassery are only illusions.

Understand that bullies are not what they would have you believe. They’re not so tough. They aren’t the baddest mothers in the land. They’re only good at keeping up appearances and fooling others.

Moreover, once you ferret out your bullies’ weaknesses, you’ll see that they really aren’t all that. Then, you will have confidence you never thought possible. And you’ll easily blow them off with a “whatever.”

Your bullies will then move on to someone else because bullies can’t thrive without a victim.
To put it another way, take the victim out of the equation, and bullies have nothing. Remove yourself from the equation, and you have everything!

Therefore, you can only do this when you stop caring. Period.

6. If Bullies Get Physical, Defend yourself.

If a bully lays so much as a finger on you, punch them smack in the nose. Then keep punching the bully until he’s down for the count.

Remember that bullies only understand power, strength, and brute force. So, you must communicate with them in the only language they understand.

Regardless of what school officials, the media, and anyone in authority say, bullies won’t stop bullying you. Not until you give them all five directly in the face. And I say this from experience.

Again, a good tail whipping works wonders.

Reclaim your power and watch your life become more rewarding than you ever imagined!

7. How to stop a bully from bullying you: If your bully tries TO ASSAULT YOU VERBALLY, don’t stay quiet.

In other words, respond to verbal abuse with a good burn. Why? Because burns always humiliate bullies, especially if an audience is present.

Moreover, counter the verbal attack with something funny. That stings even worse.
Bullies absolutely fear being humiliated. And once you embarrass one bad enough, he’ll never bother you again.

Why? Because you will have made them look like a chump. This usually takes quick wit. However, this can be developed and mastered.

When a bully is verbally attacking you, the last thing you want to do is to say nothing at all. You may think you are ignoring the bully, and you may very well be.

However, most bullies don’t see it as you ignoring them. No. They see it as either fear or defiance. And they will only double down and really try to get you from then on.

Therefore, you must shut it down as soon as it begins. Again, a good burn is always best because it not only stuns the bully and throws them off balance, but it also humiliates them.

So, deliver an awesome burn, and the bully may leave you alone and move on to an easier target.

Moreover, you will take back your safety and peace of mind.

Stopping them won’t be easy. But stick to your guns, and they’ll go away eventually.

This post was all about how to stop a bully from bullying you so that you can take back your safety, dignity, and your confidence.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground
2. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?
3. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators
4. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know
5. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

Raising Self-Esteem: 5 Easy Mind Hacks that Help

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Do you want to know the mind hacks that help with raising self-esteem so that you can feel more confident and have the courage to get things done?

raising self-esteem

When people are targeting you for bullying, raising self-esteem can be difficult. If you’re like I was, you’re probably wondering how you can get your confidence back and reclaim your life.

As someone who overcame bullying myself, I’m giving you the same mind-hacks I used to finally boost my confidence and change my life for the better.

You are going to learn about all the tried-and-true mind hacks that help you not only win back your confidence but also take back your personal power.

After you learn about all these clever mind hacks that help with raising self-esteem, you will feel and be more confident than you ever thought possible.

This post is all about the mind hacks that help with raising self-esteem that every target of bullying needs to know.

Raising Self-Esteem

Before we get into the mind-hacks, let’s discuss the harmful effects of low self-esteem and how it can negatively alter your life.

Low self-esteem can be a real energy-killer and motivation buster. As you probably know, bullying can have a devastating effect on both self-esteem and overall mental health.

Most importantly, the low self-esteem that results from bullying can alter the entire trajectory of your life. It may seem that bullies have taken control over how you feel about yourself.

However, it doesn’t have to be this way.

In fact, you can take control over how your bullies’ attacks make you feel and raise your self-esteem. You can re-frame the attacks and purposefully buffer your confidence and self-esteem against them.

Therefore, here are 4 easy mind hacks that help you in raising self-esteem:

1. Remember that it’s about them, not you.

When bullies and abusers insult you, realize that the insult is only a reflection of how they feel about themselves. Think about it. If bullies were truly happy people, they wouldn’t feel the need to hurt you or anyone else.

For example, if the bully calls you “worthless,” it’s a good indicator that he, himself, feels worthless. Therefore, it’s about them, not you.

Understand that miserable people want others to feel miserable too. Making you feel bad about yourself is the only way they can feel better about themselves.

Yes, being verbally (or physically) attacked hurts. However, you must put in the work to re-frame their attacks in your mind. Your self-esteem will thank you for it later.

Again, bullies draw their power by stripping others of theirs and making them feel powerless. When bullies attack you, they are projecting their own feelings of worthlessness onto you.

The only way they can feel good about themselves is to make others feel bad. Always remember that!

2. Any accusation a bully makes is usually a confession.

Bullies and unsavory people will often accuse you of something you know you’re innocent of. However, realize that what they’re really doing is admitting that they’ve either already done it or they are doing it now.

This is called “projection,” and it’s a classic bullying tactic that bullies and tyrants have used down through the ages. Moreover, bullies love to project, and they’re experts at it.

For example, back during World War II, Hitler’s Propaganda Minister, Joseph Goebbels, once quoted, “Accuse the other side of that which you are guilty.” He described the use of projection in a nutshell.

Once you realize what your bullies are doing, you’ll be able to respond accordingly and more intelligently.

As a result, your confidence will soar!

3. Raising Self-Esteem means realizing that Your bullies only speak from their own worldview.

This is especially true when they say things to discourage you from following your goals and dreams.

For example, you may be working on publishing a novel, and your bullies overhear you telling your friends about it. They may butt in and say things like, “You’ll only fail at it miserably,” or “Your book will never sell.”

Again, realize that they’ve probably never succeeded at anything in their entire lives. Truth be known, your bullies themselves feel like failures.

Therefore, they will say anything to discourage you from working on your goals and dreams. Why? Because they’re afraid that you might reach them. Here’s a quote from a few years back:

“When others tell you, ‘you can’t’, they actually fear that you can and are even more afraid that you will.”

So, any time your bullies try to pee on your goals, ask yourself these questions:

Have any of your bullies ever published a book?

Have they ever been successful in the book publishing industry or at anything, for that matter?

Do they even know anything about book publishing?

Chances are that they haven’t and probably never will. This alone should be a huge self-esteem booster!

4. The weight of a person’s words should always depend on how much they mean to you.

In other words, you place the most value on the words of the people you love and who love you the most. For instance, the words of your loving mother or father would carry more weight than the same words from some smart-alecky classmate or coworker.

The people who mean the most can be your parents, grandparents, siblings, spouse, or children. They may even be a best friend or a trusted mentor.

Their words should always carry the most weight because these are the people who love you the most. They also want what’s best for you and cheer for your success.

Moreover, they are the people who will be honest with you even if it stings a little. In other words, they won’t be afraid to give you constructive criticism to help you and keep you safe.

Therefore, their words are golden!

However, the words of your bullies or anyone who abuses you carry no weight whatsoever. Or, at least, they shouldn’t.

Therefore, place value on the words of the people you love and trust the most because they only want what’s best for you and are out for your good.

5. Bullies Can’t Insult nor offend you unless you Place value On their opinions.

To rephrase this, for others to insult you, you must first value their opinions. Ouch! I know, that hurts! But you should realize that a bully’s words aren’t worth considering.

Any time you allow their insults to get under your skin, you give them validation, which is something your bullies do not deserve.

Therefore, just let them talk and embrace it! Stop thinking that something must be wrong with you. Because you’re fine just the way you are.

In fact, here are a few positive ways you can look at it:

a. When people talk about you, good or bad, at least you know you aren’t boring.

And most people would rather be “bad” than boring. Also, you must be doing something right if people are mentioning you all the time. When they talk about you, good or bad, they make you relevant.

B. When people talk smack about you, it only means you still consume their minds.

So, who’s really in control here?

C. You have a lot of power if you can stir resentment or hate in someone without trying or meaning to.

It only goes to show that the dummy doing the talking can be easily controlled by you with little effort.

D. They must really admire you and want to be like you.

Otherwise, you wouldn’t even be an afterthought to them. They’re admitting that they don’t have lives of their own. So, they take an interest in yours, which means that your life must be more interesting than theirs!

E. They have an Obsession with you.

As the old saying goes, “He who angers you controls you.”

So, why not feel good about it and, even better, take advantage of it by letting them talk because some things don’t need a defense.

Just sit back, smile, and let the pettiness amuse you. Be your sweet self, and others will see through the petty attacks, too.

When you finally wise up and take this approach, the results will surprise you, and your only regret will be that you didn’t realize this earlier.

Therefore, attitude is what it’s all about. With the right attitude, you can beat your bullies without ever lifting a finger!

Unfortunately, it took me years to learn these things. How I wish I knew all this when I was younger and during so much bullying and abuse.

The good thing is, you don’t have to trudge through years of trial and error as I did. Learn these mind hacks, then mentally rehearse them, and I guarantee you’ll know them by heart.

Even better, they will hugely boost your self-esteem when bullies come for you, and your confidence will begin to soar!

Most importantly, remember that with knowledge comes empowerment.

This post was all about the simple but powerful mind hacks that help with raising self-esteem so that they can be a buffer to your BULLIES’ attacks and give you the confidence boost that you need.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

3. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

4. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

5. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

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Do you want to know how to go about putting yourself first so that you can live a freer and more peaceful and purposeful life?

putting yourself first

Putting yourself first isn’t selfish; it’s a necessity, especially if you’re a victim or target of bullying.

Sadly, many people have been conditioned from childhood to believe that putting themselves first is self-centered. Therefore, they end up tolerating being used and abused.

In this post, you will learn the importance of putting yourself first. Also, you will learn the best, most time-tested self-care practices and how to practice them free of shame.

After learning these things, you will be more likely to prioritize your own needs. Best of all, you won’t feel any guilt or shame when it’s time to take care of yourself.

This post is all about the importance of putting yourself first to help you give yourself the same love you give others, and do it guilt-free.

Putting Yourself First

Before we get into the practices, let’s make this absolutely clear.

Putting others first isn’t a bad thing. It shows that you care about your fellow man. And you’re willing to contribute some good to the world. Therefore, it’s an outstanding character trait to have.

However, many people have been conditioned, often by well-meaning parents. They’ve been told that the polite thing to do is to put others ahead of themselves. That making sacrifices for others shows manners and that they are “good people.”

However, when you overdo that courtesy, you do it at your own expense. That’s when it becomes a bad thing. The problem is that people will come to expect you to be a yes-person and take their crap.

Then, sooner or later, you’ll begin attracting users and abusers and become a doormat.

You find that giving too much sometimes means overlooking abuse. Even worse, you found that it didn’t make the mistreatment go away. It only encouraged others to abuse you later.

Putting Yourself First:

Growing up, you hear every excuse imaginable:

  • “Oh, they’re just having a bad day.”
  • “Maybe they have an abusive or cheating spouse at home.”
  • “Oh, but you never know what that person is going through.” Blah-blah-b-blah.

A few adults in your family and a few teachers, more than likely, advised you to,

  • “Give them a break.”
  • “Cut so-and-so some slack.”
  • “Try to overlook him.”
  • “Oh, but try to put yourself in her shoes.”
  • “Be reasonable.”

I know how you must have felt. It got old quickly. And you eventually grew fed up and wanted to scream,

“Um- EXCUSE ME! I’ve been ‘reasonable,’ and the only thing I ever got from it is being taken advantage of! Would you be reasonable if this happened to you?!”

Therefore, no matter what anyone tells you, it’s okay to put yourself first. And no law says you have to tolerate unacceptable behavior- from anyone! Ever!

When people mistreat you, someone tells you to “be nice.” Maybe they ask you to “understand what Joe Blow is going through,”

But see this for what it is. It only means that the person doesn’t care about your boundaries.

Or, it could be that they’re afraid of making the offending person angrier.  And they don’t want the situation to escalate.

Some people can’t handle conflict. They are only trying to silence you to appease the person who’s being a total jackass.

Putting Yourself First:

These kinds of advice and expectations can do one of two things to you as you get older:

  •  It can program you to be over-tolerant of unacceptable and abusive behaviors. And it can set you up for a life of being bullied by others.

You grow up being so afraid of pissing someone off that you accept abuse to avoid conflict. You end up living a life of being crapped on by others.

  • It can have the exact opposite effect. You end up with an “F-you” attitude and a bad case of the “Don’t-Give-A-Shit” syndrome.

Put another way, you get bitter because others have forced you to accept abuse in the past. Then, you become a mean and apathetic adult who couldn’t care less about anyone.

That’s not good either.

Maybe you’re one of the lucky ones, like me. It gives you an equal blend of both. You believe in treating others how you’d want them to treat you. And you don’t mind lending a helping hand to someone who needs it.

But if for one moment, you suspect that someone is taking your kindness for being a fool, you’ll drop that person like a bad habit.

Here’s the point. It’s okay to be kind. It’s okay to put others before you, but only in particular circumstances.

Putting Yourself First:

Here Are a Few examples.

  • It’s perfectly fine to give an older adult your chair in a crowded doctor’s office.
  • It’s okay to get up and offer your seat to a combat soldier in a crowded airport.

In fact, it’s called having respect for elders and servicemen and women who fight for your country.

But never take abuse nor accept excuses for unacceptable behavior. Anytime someone crosses a line with you, go ahead. Respond in kind. Give it back to them because only then will the person realize that you aren’t a doormat and find someone else to abuse.

Realize that you are not selfish or being self-centered. It’s called self-preservation. And now, for the habits you must adopt to put yourself first.

7 Powerful Habits to Practice

1. Set Boundaries and Say No when you must.

You must have boundaries, or you won’t have any respect.

Saying no to others automatically establishes boundaries. It also means saying yes to yourself.

By saying no, you give yourself the gift of autonomy. Many people, especially bullies, will demand that you go along with something that isn’t good for you.

Therefore, saying no and putting up boundaries can be essential for your well-being. Never say yes to anything that puts you in danger or makes you uncomfortable.

Trust your feelings, be true to yourself, and say “no,” no matter what the cost. This is putting yourself first.

Putting Yourself First:

2. Make Time for Yourself.

In other words, make time to rest, relax, be alone, and chill. Also, make time to pursue your own interests.

Work on your goals and put in the work to make your dreams come true. Dedicate 2-3 hours of your day to you-time. And know that you are worth it and you deserve it.

3. Ask for Help.

Admit it. Sometimes you need a little help. We all do.

Realize that you’re human and you can’t conquer the world, especially not by yourself. Therefore, it’s okay to ask for help when you need it.

Suppose you need your husband to help you clean the kitchen because you’re not feeling well. Ask him. Or, if you need help with your algebra homework, it’s perfectly okay to ask your older brother to help you.

Besides, all they can do is say no. They aren’t going to shoot you for it. So, learn to take risks. That means asking for help when you need it.

4. PERMIT YOURSELF to make mistakes.

Making mistakes is a part of being human. However, it is also how we learn. So, try new things and don’t be afraid of not doing it right the first time.

You learn more from mistakes than you do anything else.

Putting Yourself First:

5. Do what you know is right for you.

In other words, make your own decisions. You will have people, especially bullies and haters, who try to butt in and tell you what they think you should do. Don’t listen to their squawking.

Only you can do what’s best for you. Only you know what decisions to make in your life. Do what you feel is best for you.

You may or may not make the right decisions. However, if you make the wrong choices, learn from them. Only you can live your life. No one else can do it for you.

6. Never Concern yourself with OTHERS’ opinions.

Realize that most opinions don’t matter. When you worry about what other people think, you become a slave to them. In other words, they own your butt!

Everyone has an opinion. The only opinions you should be concerned with are those of God, yourself, and the people who love you the most.

This is another lesson in putting yourself first. When you put your opinions and those of people who love you first, you automatically put yourself first.

7. Make time to Do the things you love to do the most.

If that’s travel, then make time for it. If you love playing music, make time for that. When you’re engaged in your hobbies and favorite things, you add meaning and happiness to your life.

There may be those who ridicule you over your hobbies. But realize that people who make fun of your favorite things to do have no hobbies of their own.

Therefore, continue to do the things that fulfill you. It makes life so much more enjoyable and meaningful.

This post was all about putting yourself first so that you can live your life freely and with purpose and meaning.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

4. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

5. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

male employee sucking up to boss

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps

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Do you want to know the best ways to stop being a people pleaser? These steps are the best time-tested ways that you must know and practice.

how to stop being a people pleaser

Being a people pleaser can be downright overwhelming because you’re so busy trying to please others that you neglect your own needs. If you’re like I was, you’re probably wondering how to stop being a people pleaser.

You are going to learn exactly how to stop being a people pleaser by learning the actions you should take to get there.

Once you learn about all these steps, you will finally free yourself from the impulse to people-please. Also, you will be surprised at how much happier and freer you’ll be.

This post is all about how to stop being a people pleaser so you can finally take care of your own needs and live a freer, more peaceful, and more relaxing life.

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

Before we get into the steps, let’s refresh ourselves a little. What is a people pleaser?

A people pleaser is someone who constantly puts others’ wants and needs before their own. But why do so many feel the need to people-please?

There are many reasons. However, the most common reason for people-pleasing is to seek and win others’ approval. Other reasons include:

  • To avoid conflict
  • Low self-esteem
  • Insecurity
  • The desire to be liked and win friends
  • The fear of retaliation.

For example, many targets of bullying become people-pleasers because they’ve been brainwashed. They believe that if they dare to say no, they’ll be harmed.

This is because saying no has gotten them just that- hurt! Therefore, they’re deathly afraid to say anything bullies don’t want to hear.

Don’t be a simp!

Realize that being a people pleaser rarely produces the desired outcome. In fact, it only produces the opposite of what you want.

Anytime you sacrifice your own needs to score approval, others lose respect for you. Understand that people know a people pleaser when they spot one.

If anything, they will only look down on you with a mixture of disgust, pity, and hilarity. And you attract users and abusers.

The term “people pleaser” is just another word for “simp.”

There is nothing more pathetic than someone who simps for approval. Conflict is a part of life, and you must gather the courage to deal with it.

Think of the song, “Self-Esteem” by The Offspring. If you haven’t heard it, hop onto YouTube and give it a listen.

Here’s how to stop being a people pleaser:

1. Set boundaries

Setting boundaries may feel uncomfortable at first. However, it is a must if you want to take back control of your life.

However, people pleasers have no boundaries. And others quickly take notice of that, then take advantage of you.

When you have no boundaries, others will have no respect for you.

Setting boundaries, on the other hand, shows that you have self-respect. It also shows that you’re not afraid to make your needs a priority even if it makes other people angry.

Why? Because you fully understand the reason they become angry. They’re afraid that the benefits they’ve been getting at your expense are about to stop.

Stop giving too much of yourself to people who don’t appreciate you. You only do so at your own expense.

You must realize that how you treat yourself shows in how you allow others to treat you. Therefore, know that you deserve better!

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser:

2. Another way to Stop being a people pleaser is to Stop apologizing

From the time we’re toddlers, our parents teach us to apologize when we do something wrong. Although this is a good thing, overdoing it can backfire.

Sadly, if you’re a victim of bullying, you probably apologize way too much. Why? Because others have bullied you for so long.

Consequently, it only gives others the green light to blame you for everything that goes wrong. Therefore, you must stop apologizing for things that don’t need an apology.

Realize that this overwhelming urge to apologize is only a knee-jerk reaction born of fear.

You don’t have to appease others.

Your incessant apologies are to appease others. Also, it’s a way to make them go away and leave you alone. So, you must address this fear and confront it head-on.

Understand that you don’t have to take accountability for things you had nothing to do with. There’s no need to apologize for anything that’s beyond your control.

You must realize that over-apologizing is a self-defeating habit. Moreover, regardless of what you might think, it won’t protect you from further abuse.

Even if it does save you from retaliatory abuse, it will eat away at your self-esteem. Realize that not everything that happens is your burden to carry.

When you make unnecessary apologies, you’re taking responsibility for things that aren’t your fault. And when you give bullies undeserved apologies, you take accountability for their disgusting behavior.

In the end, it only makes you a bigger target.

But when you refuse to apologize, you show greater self-esteem and increased feelings of power. Moreover, you have more dignity. Therefore, you instantly become less of a victim.

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser:

3. Say no, and say it often.

The word no yields more power than any other word in the English language. On the other hand, the word yes holds none whatsoever.

Therefore, you must say no and say it often. This means finding the courage to say no to people who are used to hearing “yes”.

In other words, you must say no to people who don’t take no for an answer.

Saying no is risky, don’t get me wrong. However, saying yes to bullies won’t keep them from harming you.

It may hold them off for the time being, but it won’t keep them away forever. They always come back for more later.

Bullies always come back for more.

Realize that bullies never make good on their promises. They may promise to “leave you alone if you’ll” do xyz. But once you’ve done what they want, there’s no longer an incentive.

The harassment won’t stop. If anything, it will only get worse still!

So, say no anyway. You may indeed end up with a shiner and a fat lip. However, those wounds will heal. But the psychological injury of wishing you hadn’t let yourself down will last for years.

Realize that saying yes to some people, especially bullies, means saying no to yourself.

It’s better for others to hate you than for you to hate yourself because you caved into someone else’s unreasonable demands. Realize that no one can make your time and your needs a priority but you!

Remember. The goal here is to take back your personal power. And saying no is the most effective way to do it.

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser:

4. Practice self-care

Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential to your physical and mental well-being. Nobody else will do it for you. Therefore, it’s up to you to take care of yourself, even if others disagree.

If you don’t begin looking out for number one, you’ll only continue playing second fiddle. Or worse, you might end up coming in last!

 The only one you should come second to is God! Especially around people who don’t value you.

Now, don’t get me wrong. If you’re a parent, it’s expected that you put your kids first. If you have an ailing mother who depends on you, it’s only natural to put her ahead of yourself.

We all have an obligation to our families.

And you should always put God ahead of everyone else, including yourself.

Never mind those who don’t value you.

However, when you’re around people who take you for granted, you come first. And the hell with them if they don’t like it.

Expect some people to tell you that putting yourself first is selfish. Because they will. They’ll say that taking care of yourself only means that you’re self-centered.

Bullies and abusers will tell you these lies to shame you into letting them walk all over you. But don’t fall for that crap!

Continue to take care of yourself, and the naysayers will eventually go away. They’ll find some other sucker to toy around with. That’s when you’ll know that you have taken back control of your life.

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser:

5. Make your needs a priority

Your needs come first, then you can take care of others. Realize that constantly putting others’ needs first will leave you feeling stressed, exhausted, miserable, and controlled!

How can you have time for your own interests when people are constantly bugging you for favors? When you make too much time for others, you’ll have no time left for yourself.

Your own productivity will go down when you limit your own time to other people’s priorities.

Moreover, when you’re too available for others, your relationships suffer. Why? Because people lose respect for you.

Even worse, it will slowly erode your confidence and self-esteem.

 Realize that most people have their own self-interests in mind. I want you to understand that you are the only person responsible for meeting your needs. No one else can do that for you.

Charity begins at home. You can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself first.

Practice these five steps, and you will no longer be a people pleaser. Instead, you will have control of your life and ensure your own peace of mind.

This post was all about how to stop being a people pleaser so that you can free yourself from others’ demands and take back your freedom and peace of mind.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

4. How to Respond to Darvo: 7 Powerful Ways to Shut it Down

5. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

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 ‘Want to know what the first step is to building confidence? It’s knowing yourself with every fiber of your being.

knowing yourself

Knowing exactly who you are goes a long way when people are bullying you. As someone who had to learn this the hard way, I can tell you that when you know yourself inside and out, the least likely bullies will get under your skin.

You are going to learn how to get to know yourself and why it is important.

After you learn all these powerful ways to do so, you will be almost invincible to any future attacks from bullies.

This post is all about the steps to knowing yourself, giving you the confidence you need to counter your bullies’ attacks successfully.

Knowing Yourself

Before we get into the steps, let’s first discuss the importance of knowing yourself.

When you know yourself inside and out, you are better able to define yourself. In other words, you won’t allow others, particularly bullies and abusers, to do it for you.

Therefore, when you learn to accept only your definition of who you are, you can more easily avoid bullying because you’re better able to recognize it. And when you’re able to identify abuse, you’re least likely to put up with it.

1. Know what your needs are, what you want, and what you will and will not tolerate.

Then refuse to accept what you won’t put up with. Also, focus on your wants and needs and work hard to achieve them. This means working on yourself. Moreover, it means working toward your goals and your aspirations.

This is of the utmost importance. Why? Because when you’re too busy working on yourself and pursuing your dreams and interests, you won’t pay attention to what your bullies have to say. In other words, you’ll care less about anyone’s opinions and verbal attacks.

Also, when you know who you are, you also know what you want and what you will and will not tolerate, which is why knowing who you are is of the utmost importance.

Knowing yourself means knowing your feelings, senses, and instincts and trusting them to guide you through this messed-up thing called life. Tuning in to your feelings and instincts means tuning into your gut. As we all know, your gut can guide you out of dangerous situations and environments if you let it.

2. Knowing yourself: Begin trusting yourself to make the right decisions for yourself, no matter what.

Here’s a little nugget you should know: your first instinct is usually the correct one.

For instance, any time you have bullies shaming and ridiculing you, your first instinct is to get away from them. However, when your bullies see that you’re leaving, they may mock you for it.

They say something to the tune of, “Aww! Did you get your feelings hurt? Is that the way you’re walking away?” or “Are you scared, is that why you’re leaving? Don’t be a wuss. Stand up and face us.”

Moreover, they may even tell you, “You’d better run!”

Know that it’s okay to walk away from a toxic situation. Also, know that you aren’t scared, but you aren’t going to stick around people who try to make you feel bad. When you know yourself, you know that walking away isn’t being afraid. It’s being smart!

In other words, your bully’s definition of you won’t get into your head. Therefore, you’ll refuse to let your bullies ridicule you or guilt you into staying in circumstances that don’t feel good to you.

Therefore, any time your bullies accost you, don’t be afraid to put your hand up and walk away. Know yourself well enough to know that you don’t have time for their foolishness and drama.

Understand that when you turn your back and walk away from bullies, and they call out these things to you, they do it for two reasons:

  • to control you by defining you. In other words, bullies try to shame you into sticking around
  • to bait you into a fight because they know the chances are good that you’ll get blamed for it.

No one wants others to label them a coward. However, people will try to define you as one to corner you and trick you into doing what they want. Bullies know that most people will feel compelled to hang around, and they’ll do it for no other reason than to prove to the rest of the world that they aren’t.

Again, this is why you must know yourself. When you know deep down that you’re not what people call you, you won’t feel any need to do any posturing. Why? Because you’ll know that there’s no need to prove anything.

Although the name-calling might sting a little, it won’t bother you as much.

3. Practice speaking out and showing your emotions.

 …in appropriate settings, of course.

Knowing yourself means that you won’t feel the need to hold back emotions. You’ll be able to recognize them better and allow yourself to feel them. In some situations, it may be okay to express them.

Therefore, you won’t let others tell you how you should feel, or bullies shame you into suppressing yourself.

However, there are times when expressing and suppressing emotions is the right thing to do. For instance, if you’re attending the funeral of a loved one and you feel sad, it’s perfectly acceptable to cry.

Whereas, you wouldn’t want to break down crying in front of everyone at school because a bully called you a name. Instead, you’d show annoyance and tell the bully to get stuffed.

Also, you wouldn’t cry publicly at work because the boss chewed you out or your project fell flat. You’d stick out your chest and try to do better the next time.

4. Another step to knowing yourself is to Practice being yourself.

Know that you don’t have to put on a big front and try to act like someone you’re not. Also, there’s no need to try to fit in with anyone. In other words, know that you don’t have to prove your worth to anyone.

Knowing yourself also means knowing your worth and that you are valuable, no matter what people say or where you are in life.

Moreover, understand that people who don’t know themselves will follow the crowd and try to fit in. People who don’t know themselves will accept others’ definitions of them without realizing it.

They’ll build a fake identity based on how others view them and others’ expectations and ideas of who they should be.

Sadly, if a target is told by abusers that he’s ignorant, no good, lazy, and that he’ll never amount to anything, in many cases, they’ll live up to it. It will show up in their grades, performance, and interactions with people.

Therefore, don’t be that person. Authenticity is key here. Be an original, because originals are like famous paintings and works of art. They’re much more valuable than copies.

So, don’t be a cheap knock-off!

Knowing yourself is freedom!

5. Get rid of the temptation to blame yourself for any bullying and abuse you suffer.

Always be true to your own heart, no matter the cost. Though it may not look that way to the outside observer, quietly dig deep and get in touch with your inner sensations and instincts. Moreover, realize that you aren’t to blame for the abuse you endure.

Knowing yourself means fully understanding that other people’s behavior towards you is not a reflection on you. It only speaks volumes about their own lack of morals, decency, and character.

Getting to know yourself will only bring absolute confirmation that what your bullies do to you is wrong. Now, this inner realization may or may not stop bullies from attacking you. In fact, it may make the bullying worse.

However, instead of hating and blaming yourself, know in your heart that they are the ones who are bad. Realize that bullies are notorious for projecting their own faults and shortcomings onto others.

It’s true! A bully’s accusations are usually a confession.

6. Always trust your gut.

I can’t stress this enough. Listen to what your gut tells you and believe it. Also, pay close attention to the vibes you’re getting from the people around you.

The energy people put out never lies.

This is how you maintain your inner strength and sense of self. It takes listening to your instincts when they tell you that you have reason to be cautious around certain people.

Even better,  don’t be ashamed of it. Instead, pay close attention to how your body reacts when you’re around certain people.

Also, realize that you may not be able to put your finger on it, and you may not know why you’re having these yucky bodily sensations.

Does your body automatically tense up?

Do you have that bad feeling in the pit of your stomach?

Does something feel off about the person or people you’re with?

If so, know that any one of these symptoms is your cue to get away from these people… and fast!

Once you begin knowing yourself fully, bullies will no longer have power over you. As a result, you’ll be a much happier, freer, and healthier person for it.

Getting to know yourself may take time and lots of hard inner work, but it will be worth it in the end.

This post was all about knowing yourself and what steps to take to get to know yourself TO help you raise your self-esteem and confidence levels.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Best Ways to Know the Difference

3. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

4. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

5. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

bye, talk to the hand

How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

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‘Want to know how to stop caring what people think so that you can experience the kind of freedom you were meant to have?

how to stop caring what people think

Caring what other people think makes for a life of mental slavery and control. It makes you a victim. Wouldn’t you rather have the delicious freedom to do and be what you want? As someone who was once caught in that approval-seeking trap and finally broke free, I’m sharing the steps to stop caring what people think.

You are going to learn the exact mindsets to adopt to get to a place where you no longer care what others think.

After you learn these mindsets, you will free yourself from the chains of others’ opinions. Also, you will have the courage to be yourself and do what’s best for you, no matter what others may say.

This post is all about how to stop caring what people think so you can finally put your needs first and live a freer, happier life.

how to stop caring what people think

Before we get into the steps, let’s talk about the harsh realities of placing too much value on other people’s thoughts and opinions of you.

When you care too much about what others think, you become a slave not only to opinions but to others as well. In other words, the person whose opinions you place too much value on owns you.

Moreover, you’ll bend over backward to prove your worth. You’ll be a yes-person because you won’t have the guts to say no when you really should and when you truly want to say it.

Here’s what else. You’ll do things you’d rather not do and agree with things that go against your beliefs and convictions. You’ll sacrifice your time, your resources, and yourself for people who don’t deserve it and let them take you for granted.

Even worse, you’ll fall for other people’s BS and accept crappy behavior from them to avoid conflict. And they’ll see you as a pushover and an approval-seeker. You’ll be a doormat, and no one will have any respect for you. They’ll only think you’re pathetic!

To put it bluntly, you’ll kiss butt and eat shit all for the sake of approval. Yuck!

You’ll only attract users, abusers, and losers, who’ll only deplete you of time, energy, and worst of all, self-esteem!

But You Don’t Have to live this way. You can make a change. So, how do you stop caring what people think?

1. Focus on your own needs.

In other words, put yourself first and foremost for a while.

This isn’t to say that putting others first is a bad thing. It isn’t. It shows that you care about your fellow man and that you’re willing to contribute some good to the world. It’s an outstanding character trait.

However, when you overdo that courtesy or pay for it yourself, that’s when it becomes a bad thing. Why? Because you unknowingly set yourself up to tolerate abuse.

Therefore, you must make time to take care of your own needs, too. If you’re too busy taking care of others and leave no time for yourself, you’ll have nothing left for yourself.

Remember that self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential!

2. Know that the weight of another person’s opinion depends on THE relationship.

In other words, you place the most value on the opinions of the people you love and who love you the most.

For instance, the words and opinions of your loving mother or father would carry more weight than the same words from a smart-alecky classmate or coworker.

The people that mean the most can be your parents, grandparents, siblings, spouse, or children, best friend, or a trusted mentor. Their words should always carry the most weight because these are the people who love you the most. They also want what’s best for you and cheer for your success.

However, the words and opinions of your bullies or anyone who abuses you carry no weight whatsoever. Or, at least, they shouldn’t.

Therefore, place value on those you love and trust the most, because they will be honest with you.

3. Surround yourself with positive and uplifting people.

In other words, be choosy when selecting friends. There’s nothing wrong with being picky, and it doesn’t mean you’re “excluding” anyone. Realize that the same people we don’t mesh with are out to hurt us.

Understand that the company you keep has a huge influence on your self-esteem. Therefore, for the sake of your mental health, choose positive people.

Spend time with people who lift you and avoid those who tear you down. People who consistently put you down have no place in your life. You’re better off without them.

4. how to stop caring what people think of you:

Love thyself.

In other words, love yourself even when it seems as if the rest of the world hates you.

This means knowing your worth and the value you bring to this world. Treat yourself just as you would your best friend. Put simply, be your own best friend. Treat yourself with compassion.

Also, loving yourself means knowing yourself. When you know yourself inside and out, you are better able to define yourself instead of letting others, particularly bullies and abusers, do it for you.

 Moreover, when you learn to accept only your definition of who you are, you can more easily avoid bullying because you’re better able to recognize it. And when you’re able to identify abuse, you’re least likely to put up with it.

In other words, when you know who you are, you also know what you want and what you will and will not tolerate, which is why knowing who you are is of the utmost importance.

Furthermore, knowing yourself means knowing your feelings, senses, and instincts and trusting them to guide you through this messy thing called life. Tuning in to your feelings and instincts means trusting your gut.

Your mind can deceive you, and your heart can get you into trouble. But your gut can guide you out of dangerous situations and environments if you let it.

Again, loving yourself means knowing yourself. If you love yourself and know who you are, bullies can name-call and ridicule you until doomsday, and it will be the least likely to faze you.

6. Stop seeking approval.

Self-acceptance never comes from the outside; it always comes from within. Therefore, get rid of the craving to be liked and be okay with being disliked by some.

Realize that to be hurt, angered, and offended by someone, you must first value their opinions. In other words, for someone to make you feel bad, you must value them to some degree.

When you stop caring what people think of you, you stop valuing their opinions. In that, you stop giving bullies value and consideration they haven’t earned. Therefore, you stop giving them power.

Understand that their approval isn’t needed and just be. I promise you that you will feel so much better, not to mention freer!

Therefore, be yourself. Stand up for your beliefs and convictions. Have your own preferences and make your own choices.

Also, do the things you love. And lastly, follow your own goals and dreams. Do all of these things, no matter who does or doesn’t like it.

7. Spend time alone.

There’s nothing wrong with being alone. Moreover, just because you’re alone doesn’t mean that you’re lonely. Alone and lonely have different meanings.

Spending time alone is healthy because it gives you time to unwind.

Also, alone time is beneficial because it allows you to focus on a project without disruption and makes concentration so much easier. So, you can be alone without necessarily being lonely. And everyone needs a little bit of “me-time” every day!

Being alone is being at home by yourself and enjoying a good book.

8. believe in yourself.

This means believing in yourself even when it seems that no one else believes in you. That’s a hard thing to do, but so important.

One way to do this is to think about all the successes and accomplishments you’ve achieved. Think of all your wins, even the tiny ones.

Also, think of all the happier times you’ve experienced. Try to remember all the positives, and I promise, you’ll feel so good about yourself.

Moreover, think of all the people who love you and who want the best for you. Reflect on all these things, and your self-belief will skyrocket! Finally, you’ll care less what others think of you.

9. be yourself.

 This means continuing to be yourself, even when those around you try to change you. Realize that if we all were the same, this life would be boring.

Therefore, be original. Originals have way more value than cheap knock-off copies. This is how you stop caring about others.

this post was all about how to stop caring what people think to help you raise your self-esteem.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

2. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Best Ways to Know the Difference

3. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

how to defend yourself from bullies

How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

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Want to know how to defend yourself from bullies so that you can be safe?

how to defend yourself from bullies

Bullying is perverse and can be negatively life-altering. If you’re anything like I was, you’re probably having difficulty deciding how to stand up for yourself properly. As someone who’s been there, I’m giving you the steps to defend yourself against bullies.

You’re going to learn the exact method of defending yourself against bullies and bullying.

After you learn all these powerful strategies, you will be better prepared for the next bullying incident and better able to handle yourself in such situations.

This post is all about how to defend yourself against bullies so you can ensure your safety and take back control of your life.

How to Defend Yourself from Bullies

1. think like a bully (don’t act like one)

This is your first step.

Most people who become targets of bullying are genuinely good-hearted and would never dream of hurting another human being. On the other hand, bullies are consistently thinking up newer and more sophisticated ways to inflict harm on others.

Their hunger for power has left a long line of victims in their wake, and they are always on the lookout for new targets.

The reason most good people become targets of bullying is that bullies are notorious for taking kindness for weakness. Therefore, to protect yourself from becoming the next target, you must adopt the bully mindset.

You must think as bullies do, but not act as they do.

I realize this can be difficult because a bully’s mind isn’t a pleasant place to be. It can be downright ugly!

Moreover, thinking like a bully requires a certain degree of identification. However, you must think as they do to predict better what bullies will do next.

If you can figure out what their next move will be, you can stay a few steps ahead of these creeps and protect yourself.

Therefore, this won’t be easy. The mind of a bully can be a real cesspool. However, sometimes you must wade through a ton of crap for safety’s sake.

How to Defend yourself from Bullies:

2. Respond in kind

There’s nothing wrong with responding in kind when people are mistreating you. This doesn’t mean tit for tat. However, it does mean getting ugly when you must.

When you respond in kind, you act with power by meeting your bullies where they are. In other words, you speak to the bullies in the only language they understand.

You must realize that when a bully is in your face, you can’t afford to be nice about it. In fact, there is no such thing as being polite.

You can never handle a bully “nicely” because they will only see that as weakness and use it to their advantage. Moreover, there is no being quiet about it, because bullies will take your silence as fear.

Again, you must speak to the bully in the only language they understand. And what they don’t understand is nice and polite.

For example, the bully is in your personal space, and they’re cursing you out. That’s when you put your hand out like a traffic cop. Then, you tell them in no uncertain terms to get the hell out of your face.

This shows that you command the dignity and respect that’s due to the next person. Also, it shows that you have the guts to stand your ground when some creep violates your boundaries.

As a society, we’ve been conditioned by politicians, the media, corporations, educators, and even certain members of our families that responding in kind only makes us as bad as the bullies.

How to Defend Yourself from Bullies:

bullies only understand strength and power

No law says that you must accept abuse from anyone. Yet we’re being subtly told to take it with a smile and a “yes, sir/ma’am,” then ask for seconds. In today’s world, society tries to dictate that we should agree to abuse.

And we’re still being conditioned to do so. We’re being told to “ignore” people’s atrocious behavior, and in some cases, even submit to it.

However, I want you to understand that the only thing bullies understand is strength and power, and anyone they deem as weak is fair game.

Therefore, if you don’t respond in kind to bad behavior, bullies will get the message that there are no consequences for their abuse.  Moreover, they will get the impression that they can walk on you anytime they feel like it.

Then, there will be no stopping them from escalating the bullying, and no limit to what they’ll try next.

You must set boundaries, and you do so by imposing consequences on anyone who violates them. But how do you impose consequences?

By responding in kind to bullies when they cross the line.

Therefore, never be afraid to respond in kind and never feel guilty for it. It’s normal, expected, and it’s how you defend yourself and treat yourself well.

Remember that the only rights you have are those you fight for.

How to Defend Yourself from Bullies:

3. don’t worry about what other people think

People will tell you, “You shouldn’t have said that to so-and-so because you only stoop to their (the bullies’) level.”

However, it’s funny how they never said a word to the bully, who had you backed in a corner and was unloading on you. Now, all of a sudden, you are the mean one for telling the bullies exactly what they are.

Therefore, realize that when you’re forced to get just as nasty, there will be people who try to tell you the same thing.

Instead of worrying about their reaction, always come back with, “Funny, you never said a word when they were doing the same to me, so you have nothing to say about my behavior. Now, get lost!” And say it with conviction and without guilt.

“It’s not ladylike,” they say. Well, it’s not ladylike for the bully either. It goes both ways.

Tell them how you feel and what you think of them because you can’t be nice when you’re dealing with people who wish to harm you. You have to get funky with it! You must put your bitch-face on when things get hot. When some schmuck is in your face, nice and polite goes out the window.

And once they find out that you aren’t as weak as they thought, they might back off and think twice before confronting you again.

How to Defend Yourself from Bullies:

Don’t worry about what others think.

When you stop worrying about what others think or say, standing up for yourself comes so much more easily. Remember, these people aren’t dealing with bullying. You are. Therefore, they have no place putting their noses in your business.

What they think and how they feel about it doesn’t matter. So, stop worrying about the feelings of those who aren’t worth your time.

4. respond to physical bullying by hitting back.

Yeah, you read that right. If a bully hits you first, you are well within your rights to hit them back… twice as hard as they hit you. Defending yourself from bullies involves responding to physical attacks.

Understand this right now. When a bully physically attacks you, you have a God-given, primal, animal right to defend yourself from being harmed. I state this with full conviction!

Therefore, if a bully hits you first, haul off and knock his block off! And when you do, don’t just give him a love pat. Deck the creep with the strength of your entire body- hit so hard that the bully has difficulty getting back up.

Then unleash a hail of hard licks so that he doesn’t get up. Because once the bully gets up, he will charge you!

Yeah. I know it isn’t the “politically correct” thing to do. But when someone is harming you, all that jazz about political correctness and being the bigger person goes out the window, and the gloves are off.

School stuff may suspend you from school, and managers may fire you from work. You may even go to jail for a night or two. However, people are much more violent in their physical attacks nowadays.

Furthermore, if you just let someone smack you around, they’ll only intensify the beatings until they hurt you bad enough to send you to the hospital or worse! And you’d much rather they suspend you, fire you, or take you to jail than to spend a month in the hospital or end up six feet under.

Let’s face it. Sometimes, bullies can have you cornered, and fisticuffs are the only option you have.

How to defend yourself from bullies:

5. take self-defense Classes

Although not always affordable, martial arts classes are a godsend for victims of bullying, not only do you learn how to defend yourself, but you also learn respect and discipline.

Moreover, these classes will give you the confidence you never knew you could have, and you will become more physically fit.

Whether you’re dealing with one or two bullies, or a whole pack of them, you should always defend yourself from them. This is how you do it!

this post was all about how to defend yourself from bullies to help you ensure your safety and take back control of your life

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

2. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

3. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

4. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

5. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

cyberbullying tactics

Cyberbullying Tactics: 9 Common Tricks of Cyber-Bullies and Trolls

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Do you want to know all the cyberbullying tactics so that you can better protect yourself against cyberbullies? cyberbullying tactics

Cyberbullying can be bullying of the most devastating kind and for anyone of any age. It’s the same for children, teens, and adults alike.

If you’re a victim of this insidious form of bullying, you are doing all the research you can to find out all the cyberbullying tactics.

As someone who’s been there myself, I’m giving you the seven most-used cyberbullying tactics you need to be aware of.

You are going to learn all the tactics cyberbullies use.

After you learn about all the most-used cyberbullying tactics, you will be wise to cyberbullies and will be better able to protect yourself against them. Moreover, you will also be able to gather your own evidence against them and get rid of them once and for all.

This post is all about the cyberbullying tactics cyberbullies use to help you gather your evidence, stand against them, and overcome cyberbullies and internet trolls.

Cyberbullying Tactics

Before we go any further, let’s explore what cyberbullying is and how it negatively affects lives.

Cyberbullying is the most malicious and dangerous form of bullying there is. This is because a much wider audience sees the attacks.

And there’s also a higher degree of anonymity. Cyberbullies are cowards. And they hide behind fake screen names and profiles to avoid exposure.

Here are the 9 most common cyberbullying tactics:

1. Flaming: Inboxing you with a barrage of insidious messages.

Again, cyberbullies fear that people will see them for the sick creeps they are. So, they use your private message inbox to send you mean messages.

If you delete the person from your friends’ list, they can still flame you through the inbox.

Many cyberbullies are foolish. They think you will be so emotional that you won’t think to take screenshots of the messages.

Therefore, they’ll keep this up until you handle the situation. And I will show you how to do that later in this post.

However, here’s something you must NEVER do:

Don’t react.

Never react to cyberbullying by sending evil messages of your own. In other words, don’t call the cyberbullies names even if they start out name-calling you.

Do not react by cursing the cyberbully out. And don’t use all caps. This is read as yelling.

Why? Because the cyberbullies will only use it against you. Remember, they want you to react so they can flip the script and make you look like the troll. Don’t give them that opportunity!

Therefore, the best response is either no response at all or an intelligent response. Here are the best responses you can use.

  • “You seem so angry.”
  • “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
  • “I feel sorry for you.”

These responses are perfect because you aren’t taking the blame for their behavior. Also, it doesn’t make you sound like you’re bullying anyone.

Cyberbullying Tactics:

2. Cyberbullies will tag you in a post, then claim you’re stalking their page.

This happened to me once. Although this is rather obvious, this tactic is used by clueless and maybe drunk cyberbullies.

Therefore, screenshot this. In fact, screenshot everything.

3. They rally their friends to troll your page.

Once you hit the “Block” button, watch for an influx of friend requests from people you don’t know.

You may also get them from people who otherwise wouldn’t, like sworn enemies and those who dislike you.

This almost always happens just after you’ve blocked a cyberbully.

4. Cyberbullies will troll the pages of your spouse, family, and friends.

 They do this to seek and gather information about you and those you’re closest to. They then use it as ammunition to defame you or make fun of you. Moreover, they may even attack those you love.

Cyberbullies who are mentally sick and dangerous will use this tactic. Don’t let this scare you, but be concerned.

Cyberbullying Tactics:

5. Creating hurtful, degrading, and humiliating memes of you.

Cyberbullies do this to embarrass you and to bait others to harass you. Again, screenshot this.

6. They insert images of porn and other disgusting materials on your timeline.

And they may have other people do it for them. Cyberbullies do this to cause you embarrassment. Moreover, they do it hoping that others will see it and think you’re some kind of pervert.

In most cases, this doesn’t work. However, you must still make screenshots. This is how you do your own investigation and gather your own evidence.

7. Cyberbullies will copy your profile photo and create fake accounts, claiming to be you.

Once they do this, they send requests to all your family and friends to lure them into accepting. If they accept, the cyberbully then sends them deplorable messages.

Or they may tag them and post flaming or lewd posts to their timelines. The reason they do this is to cause friction between you and the people you care about.

Therefore, you must warn your family and friends that you’re being cyberbullied. Tell them that if they get any friend requests from you, they aren’t from you. This is so important!

Sadly, there isn’t much anyone can do legally. Until better technology is introduced to track down these bullies, you have to do your own investigation.

Moreover, cyberbullying will continue to be a problem until more robust laws are passed.

Cyberbullying Tactics:

8. lies and accusations

Cyberbullies will also post lies and accusations about you on social media. Or they may go to a public forum.

Again, they do it to sully your reputation and cause you to lose opportunities. Moreover, if you own a business, your profits could take a huge hit.

Understand that this is a way for cyberbullies to cause you to become a victim of cancel culture. And it has ruined many lives and families.

I can’t stress the importance of gathering your own evidence. This is not the time to be lazy!

9. They dox you.

Doxxing is when cyberbullies gather your personal information. They can get access to your street address, phone number, email, and worse, your driver’s license and banking information.

Other information they may access is where you work, where your children go to school, and who your parents are. And they can also get your family members’ addresses.

Scary, isn’t it?

Next, they will post it all online. They may even plaster it on the dark web. This can leave you vulnerable to identity theft.

Doxxing is the most dangerous form of cyberbullying there is!

Cyberbullying Tactics:

Here are the best ways to bust a cyberbully.

I always use a method I call the SBRE method: Screenshot, Block, Report, Expose!

For this method to work best, you must follow this exact order!

1. Screenshot.

Out them! Expose them by taking screenshots of their profiles and of the nasty messages they send you. Screenshot every vile comment and cruel meme.

In short, screenshot everything.

Delete the incendiary posts or comments, but keep the screenshots stored in a folder.

2. Combat Cyberbullying tactics:

BLOCK.

If the cyberbullies happen to be on your friends or follower lists, you don’t need them. And they have no business stalking your page. Get rid of them!

Also, the sooner you block the creeps, the less likely they are to send you a virus or get access to any sensitive information.

Therefore, after you get all the screenshots you need, block them.

3. Report.

Report the cyberbullies to the social media outlet. Every social media entity has this option. Use it. They may or may not do anything about it.

However, there will still be a record. Once you report the person, take a screenshot of your report. If a moderator responds to your report, take a screenshot of that too.

4. expose.

Remember that a cyberbully’s worst fear is being exposed. So, make it come true. Expose them by plastering the screenshots all over the internet.

You do this not only to spare your reputation and protect yourself. But you also expose the cyberbullies to protect others from being trolled by them.

And trust me! Other users will thank you for it!

And besides, they asked for it. So, put them on blast. Exposure is the best way to shut these idiots down.

Cyberbullying Tactics:

In conclusion

This bears repeating! Always take screenshots. Save any online bullying evidence because you never know when you’ll need it.

it. If by chance, you find the true identities of your cyberbullies, you can more successfully pursue litigation.

Understand that this may take a little bit of work. However, it will be so worth it in the long run. If other tricks have been used against you that I’ve left out, please feel free to comment.

This post was all about the most common cyberbullying tactics that cyberbullies use to help you to better protect yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Best Ways to Know the Difference

4. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

5. Conditioning: 5 Signs You’re Being Conditioned

Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target

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Would you like to know whether you’re one of the easy targets for bullies so you can better protect yourself?

easy targets for bullies

There are six groups of people who make easy targets for bullies, and bullies, who are cowards of the lowest of scum, take full advantage.

These groups of people suffer the highest rates of bullying. They are the most persecuted. This is why it is so important that we, as decent human beings, look out for them and protect them.

You will learn all about who is on the list of easy targets for bullies.

Once you learn this information, you will be better able to champion these people, and they will have people like you to protect them when they cannot protect themselves.

This post is all about the seven groups that are easy targets for bullies and how you can be a voice for people in these persecuted groups.

easy targets for bullies

There are many groups of people who are objects of bullying. People who are just different. It doesn’t matter what that difference is. It’s human nature to want sameness. However, sameness gets boring fast.

For example, most people love pizza. It doesn’t mean they want to eat it every day of their lives.

So, which groups of people are the most likely victims of bullies? Here are your answers:

1. people who look different

They could be fat, thin, short, or extremely tall. It could be that they have an unusually large nose or ears. Maybe they have freckles or none at all.

Moreover, people with eyeglasses or braces may suffer bullying as well. However, someone with a cast on one leg may also endure it. And bullies will also pick on someone in a wheelchair.

The point is that bullies will pick out something visibly different about you. Then, they will take it and run with it. This only goes to prove that bullies are ignorant.

However, bullies don’t target all heavier or skinny people. Bullies only like to pick out a victim, then make life hard on them. It’s just what bullies do.

Therefore, the best thing to do is to see these bullies for what they are. They’re ignorant morons with nothing better to do than to make others’ lives miserable. But why do they do this?

They do it because they’re bored. Maybe they live miserable lives. The only way bullies can feel better about themselves is to make others feel bad. They are pathetic souls we should pity.

2. Easy targets for Bullies:

People with Functional needs and those with disabilities

But why? Because, sadly, these particular targets are the most vulnerable and least valued in most schools, companies, organizations, and communities.

Furthermore, they are virtually defenseless. The heartbreaking truth is that society does not see them as human beings.

Not only kids in school, but adult bullies in the workplace will also target employees with disabilities.

Should it be any wonder that bullies prey on SPED students and disabled adults the most? It’s because bullies are great big cowards. And all too often, those with disabilities are unable to defend themselves

Those with intellectual disability.

Students in special education are usually low on social intelligence. Therefore, they’re easy to get a reaction from, and bullies know it.

For example, at school, I saw bullies approach a SPED student. They would snatch something away from them to get a little free entertainment.

Then, as soon as the child started crying or screaming, the bully said, “Oops! Oh, I’m sorry. Here ya go!” And they gave it back as soon as they got the desired reaction from the poor kid.

In the workplace, I’ve seen many adult bullies harass and attack disabled employees. Those were the employees I stuck up for.

Many times, I made myself a target at work just by speaking up for them.

I’ve also heard gut-wrenching stories of other teachers in schools bullying those in the special ed program. Again, these were teachers. Teachers!

Easy Targets for Bullies:

Even teachers aren’t above bullying sped students.

I remember during high school, a girl with functional needs was in the lunch line. And she was just a few heads in front of me.

I noticed that a small group of cliquey teachers was standing there, openly mocking her. They snickered and laughed at her while making disgusting remarks.

And these women were supposed to be adults!

These cruel educators would look down their noses at this child and openly ridicule her. To them, she was a joke.

Moreover, I heard them loud and clear.

“Look at her! She’ll never find a job!” One teacher remarked, “She’ll never contribute a doggone thing to society.”

“She shouldn’t even be here.”  “She’ll only be a drain on the taxpayers because she’ll draw a check every month once she’s out of school.” The second teacher said.

“If she doesn’t already!” The third teacher added.

Easy Targets for Bullies:

It was enough to make me sick!

Just listening to those remarks made me sick to my stomach! How I wish I’d had the guts to stand up for her when it happened!

However, I was only seventeen and a student myself at the time. I knew to keep my mouth shut because- well, these bullies were teachers. And, I was just thankful that they weren’t bullying me.

Pure prejudice and discrimination were what this was!

Every school has those types of teachers. They’re usually those who mistreat the lunch ladies and janitors. They also bully teachers who aren’t members of their little group.

So, why wouldn’t they mistreat students with intellectual disabilities?

3. imaginative and creative people

Having a vivid imagination and being creative are good gifts. However, bullies will target people who have them.

Bullies hate imagination because they don’t have any. And they’re jealous of anyone who does. Therefore, if you are creative and have an exceptional imagination, be proud of it.

But be prepared for them to attack your dreams and ambitions. Just know that they do it out of jealousy.

This should make you feel better about yourself. Let it encourage you to follow your dreams, no matter what they tell you.

easy targets for bullies:

4. people who are emotional

Understand that bullies are trying to get a reaction when they attack you. If they can get an emotional reaction from you, it only fuels their ego.

Therefore, keep your emotions in check. Don’t give them the satisfaction.

You must realize that they only want to control you. Why? Because they get a huge rush of power, and don’t think they will ever give that up.

You must see your bullies exactly for what they are. And what they are is a bunch of pathetic, cowardly punks. Think about it, most people get their feel-good from their talents or their hobbies.

Some get it from togetherness with family and close friends. These are the things that give most people meaning in their lives.

Bullies bully to find meaning in their lives.

Bullies don’t have talents or hobbies. Moreover, they probably have dysfunctional families and friends who really don’t add much to their lives.

They have no redeemable qualities whatsoever. Therefore, their lives don’t have meaning. So, what’s left?

Making others miserable is the only thing bullies have left. Therefore, in order to feel good about themselves, they must make someone else feel bad.

That alone should give your self-esteem a huge boost. So, don’t feel bad when bullies come for you. Realize that they probably don’t have much going for them.

And this is their last-ditch effort to find happiness.

Be thankful that you’re so awesome that you don’t have to resort to such measures. You’re a winner, and you should know it.

Easy Targets for Bullies:

5. People who are loners

Bullies love to target loners. Why? Because these are people who don’t have many friends. And no friends equals a lack of support.

And this emboldens bullies. Remember that bullies are great big cowards. They will never bully those with many friends around them. Why?

Because they know that these friends will likely stand up for them. Therefore, loners are the easiest victims.

Also, most bullies run in packs. They always have an entourage of followers behind them.

You see? Bullies never bully alone. They always do it in groups, just in case the target is someone who isn’t afraid to fight back.

Bullies can do nothing on their own. Again, this fact should make you feel good about yourself because you aren’t afraid to stand alone. You can take care of yourself, and that’s a great quality to have.

6. people who have low self-esteem

Bullies know that if someone has low self-esteem, they don’t like themselves very much. Therefore, they are least likely to defend themselves.

If you are one of these people, you must find ways to boost your self-esteem. See the value you bring to this world.

Once you see your worth, you will no longer put up with those who make you feel bad. And you won’t be afraid to either ditch them or defend yourself.

In closing

Bullies bully these categories of people because they’re different. And when you’re different, you stand out. And bullies like to dehumanize you for it.

But you don’t have to put up with it. Refuse to allow them to abuse you. Stand up to them and let them know that you won’t tolerate it.

If you do this in the early stages of bullying, they’ll more likely leave you alone.

this post was all about categories of people who are easy targets for bullies to help you know what to fix in yourself and what to be proud of. It also helps you to know which people you should be helping.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Ways to Know the Difference

2. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers

3. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

5. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers.

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How do bullies pick their victims? That is the question on every target’s mind. If people constantly bully you and you wonder how they chose you, look no further.

how do bullies pick their victims

Being a victim of bullying can make life much more difficult than it should be. If you’re anything like I was, you’re probably wondering why it is you that bullies are coming for and what you can do about it.

You will learn about all the criteria bullies look for in potential victims.

After learning about this criterion, your question, “How do bullies pick their victims?” will be answered. And you can begin the inner work to become more bully-proof.

Also, you will be able to spot other potential victims and stand up for them.

This post will answer the nagging question that plagues your mind: “How do bullies pick their victims?”

How do bullies pick their victims?

Before we get into the answers, let’s ask this question.

Have you noticed that bullies always seem to target the same types of people?

Bullies don’t bully randomly. They pick only certain ones.

Bullies bully good people. They also pick people who are smart, creative, and seem to be going places. And they like to target introverts.

Moreover, and perhaps the saddest of all, they also pick the weakest. Bullies like to go after people with medical conditions. They also pick on those who have disabilities. Those with functional needs are also safe candidates.

And they target those perceived to have a physical defect.

Therefore, in a nutshell, they pick two categories of people. They will target those who are much weaker and lower on the social hierarchy. Or they will pursue those who threaten their power.

But!

So, how do bullies pick their victims? In other words, who do they select?

1. people who take responsibility for their lives.

Most victims are good people who follow the rules and laws. They understand that rules and laws are in place for a reason. And that is to ensure a safe community and society.

Most targets do not go around blaming others for their mistakes. They usually blame themselves and try to correct their mistakes when they make them.

Therefore, bullies see these people as easy to manipulate.

Why? Because these people tend to blame themselves. Therefore, bullies will blame these people for their own rotten behavior.

Over time, they condition these people to accept blame for things they have no control over.

Targets Bullies See as Threats to their Power

2. “How do bullies pick their victims?”

They pick people who are goal oriented.

This is especially so with workplace and corporate bullies.

Many targets of bullying work hard. They are goal-oriented and have a truckload of self-discipline. They know that if you want anything in life, you have to work for it.

Therefore, these victims hustle like the devil to reach their goals and dreams. Also, they have the utmost perseverance. This is a quality most bullies lack.

This is why most targets stay in toxic environments until they end up with a psychological injury. Bullies select these people because of their good traits.

And they only reflect back to the bullies their own laziness. They’re walking reminders of their own lack of purpose.

Bullies see these people as threats. Why? Because bullies lack self-discipline.  Moreover, their relationships are usually superficial.

Therefore, they will pull out all the stops to contain those threats.

How do bullies pick their victims?

Bullies may pretend to be your friend just to get close enough to hurt you.

Bullies will exploit these people’s perseverance by establishing one-sided relationships with them. If it’s business, they might partner up with them.

Next, they use the push-and-pull method. They’ll go hot and cold. If it’s a romance, they’ll alternate between love-bombing and abuse. And they’ll make empty promises.

And they’ll treat friendships the same way.

The reason bullies do this is to make you cling to hope. Maybe the bully will give you what you’ve been wanting. Maybe you want acceptance and approval. Or you like attention and praise.

However, here’s the hard truth. No matter how much you try to make things better, bullies will never be satisfied.

They will always find fault with you. Understand that one person can never sustain a relationship. And this goes whether it’s a business partnership, friendship, or romance.

It takes effort from both sides!

3. “How do bullies pick their victims?”

Most potential victims of bullying are empaths.

Most targets of bullying are exceptionally empathetic. They like to help humanity. At the same time, they strive for self-betterment.

Most empathetic people want to empower others and make a positive difference in the world.

However, to bullies, this is a threat. Why? Because most bullies are a bunch of self-centered, attention-grabbing creeps.

And empaths only force bullies to feel bad about themselves because of their own flawed personalities. In short, they force them to see themselves for who they truly are.

Therefore, bullies will go all out to make them pay for it.

Bullies target empaths to exploit them.

Also, bullies are masters at gaining sympathy from others. So, they target people with empathy to get sympathy from them.

They may pretend to be victims.

Bullies think you’re supposed to feel terrible because they’ve had such a tough life. And because they have had it so rough, it’s why they behave as they do.

This is how they guilt you into accepting their abuse.

But see this for what it is. It’s a load of bologna. There’s no excuse for treating others like garbage.

Empaths have difficulty setting boundaries. And bullies take full advantage of it. And when you finally get tired of their crap and put your foot down, they retaliate.

How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims?

4. They pick those they envy.

Some victims plan carefully and think ahead. They have goals that work out and solid, long-lasting relationships.

Bullies are jealous of them. Therefore, they desperately seek these people just to tear them down.

5. Bullies select those who are givers and not takers.

They love to target people-pleasers and those who don’t ask for help. And bullies select them because they see them as easy to use.

Because these people have a hard time setting boundaries, bullies will target them at will. They’ll do anything to achieve their own sick ends.

Understand that bullies are takers and never givers!

 6. “How do bullies pick their victims?”

they pick People who are smart.

Intelligence is a huge threat to bullies. Why? Because a smart person will likely see through their bullshit. And they might just call them out on it.

Also, their smarts can make the bullies feel inferior. Therefore, they will give them hell.

Moreover, bullies want to get them before they get the bullies.

targets who appear weaker, slower, and less intelligent

These victims don’t pose as threats to bullies. But because they are seen as weaker, they’re usually on the lower end of the social hierarchy. So, they’re easy targets.

Therefore, bullies will harass them, too.

This is mostly the case with school bullies. But the popular ones may target students who are confident and are high academic stars.

1. These bullies select people with low self-esteem.

Bullies know these individuals are easy pickings. Why? Because anyone with low self-esteem is least likely to fight back.

Low self-esteem is easy to spot, and bullies are experts at reading people. Bullies will notice body language right off.

And sadly, many victims give off that “bullied” vibe. And they do it through their body language. Lots of people have poor posture. Downcast eyes are also a sign of low self-esteem.

Many victims wear a frown or expressionless face.

Understand that bullies see these cues a mile away. And, don’t think they won’t take advantage.

 How Do Bullies Pick their Victims?

2. They pick those with low communication skills.

If a person’s communication skills are lacking, they’ll likely suffer in silence when abused. Bullies rely on your silence so that they can continue to bully and cover up their behavior.

3. they pick those who are disabled and people with functional needs.

Why? Because they’re the most vulnerable and least valued in society. They’re defenseless. Let’s just be truthful here.

The heartbreaking truth is that the rest of society doesn’t see them as human. Bullies instinctively know this.

Therefore, should it be any wonder that bullies prey on SPED kids and disabled adults the most?

Bullies are great big cowards. And those with disabilities and functional needs can’t defend themselves.

Students in special education are usually low on social intelligence. So, they’re easy to get a reaction from.

4. bullies pick those with medical issues.

Those with diseases, such as diabetes and cancer, are least able to defend themselves. Bullies love bullying them because they feel the least threatened by them.

this post answered the question, “How do bullies pick their targets?”

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

2. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

3. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

4. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For

5. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Best Ways to Know the Difference

Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

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Do you want the ability to distinguish like vs respect? Or the opposite, dislike vs disrespect? Here we will discuss the difference between the two.

like vs respect

Many people have the impression that like and respect are the same, when, in fact, they’re quite different. Here, I will differentiate like vs respect and explain how they differ.

You will learn to distinguish between the two by noticing the diverse characteristics of each.

After learning to separate both terms, you will be able to know the difference when you see it on the street. Also, your social life will benefit greatly.

This post is all about the difference of like vs respect that you must know to better work with people.

like vs respect

What’s the difference between them?

Before we go further, let’s put it this way:

There can be respect without like. However, there can never be liking without respect. Put more straightforwardly, a person doesn’t have to like you to respect you. However, they do have to respect you to like you.

Difference 1.

Like:

Like is based on commonalities and good feelings shared between people. When you like someone, you enjoy their company and the positivity they bring to your life.

Whereas not liking somebody means you have nothing in common. Maybe you just don’t want to be around the person.

That’s perfectly okay. Why? Because not everyone is alike. Maybe you don’t share the same beliefs, feelings, ideas, or backgrounds.

Like is subjective, and it’s just a normal part of human existence. Therefore, you can dislike someone but respect their right not to have their boundaries crossed.

Respect:

Respect is regard for another person’s safety, space, freedom, privacy, property, and individuality. When you respect someone, you may not necessarily like the person. But you see them as having the same rights and considerations as you and everyone else.

In contrast, disrespecting someone means that you have no regard for their safety, space, freedom, privacy, property, or individuality.

Hence, like vs disrespect.

like vs respect:

What are the Specific Signs of Dislike?

1. Nothing in common with the person. You wish them well, but you’d prefer not to go on long trips with them. You have no problem coexisting.

2. You see them as having the same human rights as you and anyone else. And you won’t bully them nor place them in danger. You only don’t have anything in common with the person.

3. Dislike isn’t always personal. It just means you don’t mesh well.

Again, this is just a normal part of life. Everybody has people who don’t like them…everybody! Why? Because everyone is different, and we all run in different circles.

Most people confuse dislike vs disrespect.

Too many people mistake dislike for disrespect, even hate. There are people I dislike. However, I don’t hate them. I just let them be and go on doing my thing.

it’s dislike. that’s all it is.

This is why you should never worry about who likes or doesn’t like you. It’s a waste of your time. Why? Because when you do, you give away your power by allowing others’ opinions to control you.

So, do you want to be a slave to mere opinions?

The key to your happiness is not to concern yourself with what others think of you. Because you don’t, you give yourself happiness and freedom. And it’s the best kind there is!

Therefore, see your worth. Let those people go live their lives while you go live yours. As long as they aren’t bothering you, be okay with their dislike.

Do not go out of your way to make people like you. Don’t put on any fronts, and don’t try to be someone you aren’t.

In short, DON’T CHANGE!

Instead, be yourself and do your thing. Do the things that make you happy. Keep this up, and you will naturally attract the friends who were meant to be in your life.

like vs respect:

What are the Detailed Signs of Disrespect?

1. Lack of regard for the person’s freedom- this could include belittling their opinions and ideas, taking away their freedom to speak by talking over them when they are speaking, getting angry with them if they would rather spend time with family than with you or the group.

2. Lack of regard for the person’s safety- you bully them or put them in danger of being physically hurt. You don’t want to coexist.

3. Disrespect is always personal.

Disrespect is a whole different animal from dislike. If you have disrespect for a specific individual. You don’t see them as having the same human rights and considerations as you and everyone else.

Therefore, you don’t acknowledge that person’s boundaries, and you are more likely to trample their dignity and human rights.

Put simply, you think the person somehow deserves to be violated. Therefore, you deem it okay to abuse them as much as you want and with impunity.

Disrespect almost always boils over into verbal and emotional abuse, and even physical violence.

beware of disrespect.

If you are ever around anyone who disrespects you, it pays to watch them closely. Just do it without looking like you’re watching them. Also, watch your back around them.

You can do one of two things. Either call them out or distance yourself. Understand that people who disrespect you are usually out to harm you.

However, you should never care about their opinions of you either. Never allow them to define you. It’s your place to define yourself, not theirs.

Instead, ask yourself these questions:

  • “Have any of these morons even reached my level?”
  • “Do their opinions even matter?”
  • “Who are these people that I should care?”

Understand that the weight you give to any opinion should depend on who they are. And you should determine it by the relationship you have with them.

Know that not everyone’s thoughts or opinions are relevant. And their words don’t matter.

like vs respect: Also, consider this:

In order to be offended by another person’s opinions or words, you must first value them. This means you must first value the owner of those opinions.

In other words, the value you give them depends on who they are and how close you are.

And hold on to those beliefs. Realize that their hatred only comes from a place of ignorance, stupidity, bitterness, jealousy, or insecurity. Nothing more.

Take it with a grain of salt and only value the opinions of those who know you- God and those of your closest family members and friends.

When you stop caring what bullies think of you, you stop valuing their opinions. In that, you stop giving bullies value and consideration they haven’t earned. Therefore, you stop giving them your power.

like vs disrespect: how to respond

If you are a victim of bullying, you must distinguish between the two. Then, act appropriately. Disrespect is much worse than dislike.

Dislike is a part of life and much easier to deal with. Disrespect, on the other hand, is harmful.

The people who dislike you won’t necessarily try to hurt you, but will act neutral around you. They might even say a few words to you to be polite. They just won’t be buddy-buddy with you.

On the other hand, people who disrespect you will violate you. They will shame you and humiliate you. They may even try to sabotage you and physically assault you.

If the people around you dislike you, it’s their loss, and you can still be around them if you must.

However, if they disrespect you, then it’s time to stand up to them. You can also walk away from them or send them packing.

People who regard you with disrespect don’t deserve a place in your life! Therefore, do what you need to do to protect yourself. And if the person who disrespects you is in your circle, be prepared to cut ties with them.

It takes courage to walk away from a toxic family member or friend. But sometimes, self-care requires you to do so.

Besides, there’s a positive side to your bullies’ disrespect if you look for it.

You could see them as motivation to work on yourself. In other words, you can use it as fuel to pursue your goals and dreams. Your bullies’ disrespect can be a vehicle for success if you want it to be.

Conclusion:

If you had to choose, wouldn’t you much rather be respected than be liked? And, wouldn’t you prefer to be disliked rather than disrespected?

With dislike, there’s still a degree of safety. With disrespect, there is no safety. Why? Because when people disrespect you, they’ll violate your boundaries.

Think of it this way. In the Marine Corps, privates may not like a certain drill sergeant because he’s a complete jerk. But they respect him, and with respect comes protection and safety.

This post was all about the detailed differences of like vs respect to help you to recognize each when it happens and respond accordingly.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Best Ways to Know the Difference

3. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

Conditioning: 5 Signs You’re Being Conditioned

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‘Want to know the signs of conditioning so that you can protect yourself from it? These are the surefire signs to watch for.

conditioning

Bullies and abusers have ways of conditioning you without you ever being aware that they’re doing it. In most cases, you won’t notice it until it has totally changed you and ruined your life. As someone who has been there and overcome it, I’m sharing the signs you need to know to stay safe.

You are going to learn about all the early signs of conditioning so that bullies can no longer play these mind games with you.

After learning about the signs of conditioning, you will be prepared and no longer easy to manipulate.

This post is all about the signs of conditioning that every victim and target of bullying should be aware of.

conditioning

What is it? In simplest terms, conditioning happens when others brainwash you to accept something you normally wouldn’t. Therefore, unscrupulous people will psychologically condition you to believe many falsehoods and accept all kinds of abuse.

This is how people get programmed, and extreme abuses get normalized.

Therefore, when you’re a victim of bullying, bullies will condition you to roll over and take their abuse. Over time, they slowly “Pavlov” you to believe any lie they say until they convince you to turn on yourself.

Conditioning doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a slow, incremental, bit-by-bit process that can be soft and subtle.

In other words, conditioning starts out small and is barely recognizable at first.  At this stage, you must know how to recognize it.

Why? Because the longer it goes on and the more severe the abuses become, the harder it is to defend yourself against it.

One thing that will help you recognize it is that your body will feel it. And you’ll sense it in the vibes the people you’re dealing with give off.

So, how do you know your bullies are conditioning you?

Here are the signs:

Conditioning:

5 Signs You’re being Conditioned:

You’ll know by the feelings you have.

1. You begin Feeling guilty for defending yourself, speaking out about the bullying you suffer, and reporting the bullying to authority

This most commonly occurs with empaths. However, anyone can fall victim. If you aren’t careful, you will likely be used and abused like a dirty rug.

Therefore, you must put your needs first. And there will be times when you will need to stand up for yourself.

You have a right not to be abused, and you are just as good as the next person. You wouldn’t inflict pain on anyone else. And you should never allow others to inflict pain on you.

Self-care is never selfish. It’s essential.

Therefore, continue to stand up for yourself. Don’t stop taking care of yourself. Because if you don’t look out for yourself, no one else will either.

Remember that you aren’t responsible for their feelings. In a situation of bullying, all you have is yourself. And your greatest weapon is your voice. Use it! Don’t lose it!

2. Another sign of conditioning is Feeling that the bullying you suffer is all your fault.

Anytime you blame yourself for the bullying you suffer, your bullies have conditioned you. Therefore, understand this right now! It’s not your fault!

You are not responsible for your bullies’ behavior. Their horrid actions reflect their choices, not yours.

Moreover, you cannot control another person’s behavior. The only person’s behavior you have control over is your own.

So, when you blame yourself for being bullied, you are taking responsibility for something you can’t control. And that’s the behavior of others.

Do not allow them to condition you to believe that things beyond your control are your fault! They aren’t.

3. You start feeling like a heel for saying no.

Saying “no” can be difficult and at times, even downright scary. If you’re a person who believes in helping your fellow man, the last thing you want is to let someone down. However, there are times when saying yes to someone else is saying no to yourself.

When you say no, it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person. And this goes especially when bullies are trying to force you to do something you don’t want to do.

It’s how you set boundaries. And setting limits is healthy.

Conditioning:

What to do if they threaten you.

But what if your bullies threaten either physical harm if you don’t comply with their wishes? Or, what if they threaten social exclusion?

Nobody wants to get hurt. The natural human response is to submit and make the pain stop. In your mind, you’re thinking, “Alright, alright! I’ll do it if you’ll go away and leave me alone!”

Therefore, you fall for the false promises that they’ll stop hurting you. BUT!

Realize that bullies and abusers never make good on those promises. The harassment won’t stop. If anything, it will only get worse.

Why? Because your bullies have benefited from forcing you to say yes. And they’ve probably been getting those benefits for a long time now.

Your bullies never stopped the harassment before. So, why would they stop now?

Saying no to a bully is never an easy option.

Bullies don’t take no for an answer, least of all from their victims! However, you must say it anyway! Why? Because it’s how you take care of yourself.

Therefore, begin saying no, and do it often. And realize that you can’t change a bully. But be forewarned.

The bullies will probably keep pushing your boundaries. They may even retaliate. And if they do, it isn’t your fault. And it’s not your responsibility.

So be ready to defend yourself if you have to. The only time you should say yes to bullies is if they pull a gun. Otherwise, stick to your answer.

Saying no is risky. It always has been. Your bullies may threaten you with the business end of their fists, and you may come out of it with a shiner and a fat lip.

However, those wounds will heal. But the psychological injury of wishing you hadn’t let yourself down will last for years.

Again, you must say no, even if it makes others angry.

4. another hallmark of conditioning is when You feel like the biggest wuss on the planet.

You know the feeling. When you know you let someone else force you to do something you didn’t want to? It left a psychological injury that took a long time to recover from.

You ended up asking yourself, “Now, why didn’t I tell those creeps to take a flying leap off the highest cliff headfirst?” That feeling of powerlessness can be worse than any physical pain you’ve ever suffered.

 And you blame yourself for not standing up to your bullies. You think that maybe you’re not strong enough. I’m not this enough, and I’m not that enough. This is another sign of conditioning.

However, you must know that your bullies act up not because you aren’t firm enough. And don’t think it was because you aren’t any good at defending yourself.

It’s because your bullies are a bunch of pathetic, self-entitled turds. Bullies are abusers, and abusers have a talent for conditioning their victims.

Abusers expect the rest of the world to bow down and kiss their behinds. Therefore, none of that is your fault.

Understand that their behavior isn’t your guilt to carry. Begin standing up for yourself. And refuse to believe the lies your bullies try to drum into your head.

REPEAT!

Don’t fall for their power plays. Stand up! Stand tall! And stand firm, no matter what.

Conditioning:

5. Your body will feel those icky vibes your bullies are putting out.

You’ll sense it when something feels “off.” Moreover, you’ll feel it in the pit of your stomach. And sometimes, you’ll feel it before the first words are exchanged.

This is, perhaps, the most important sign of all. Why? Because, as mentioned earlier, conditioning is soft and subtle in the beginning. And you don’t even notice it.

However, here’s your first clue: Your body will tell you if you pay attention to it. Your body, particularly your gut, will pick up on it.

Many targets of bullying often mistake this feeling for “just having paranoia.” Therefore, they ignore it. But this is the last thing you should do.

Understand that God gave us all that “sixth sense.” Some people call it your “gut feeling.” Others use the term “instinct.”

Therefore, whenever you get a bad feeling in your gut about someone, you are not overreacting. And you are not overreacting.

What you’re doing is picking up on that person’s energy. Your inner alarm is trying to warn you and keep you safe.

You must trust your gut. Pay attention to other people’s energy. Energy doesn’t lie, and neither does your instinct!

If you ever catch bad vibes from someone, steer clear of them. Instead, get as far away from them as you can and as fast as you can! You will save yourself a lot of trouble, I promise!

This post was all about the signs of conditioning to help you to recognize these indicators early on and protect yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

2. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

3. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to be Aware of

4. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Power Statements to Use

phrases to shut down a gaslighter

Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

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Want to know the best phrases to shut down a gaslighter? The phrases that you’re about to read are the most powerful statements you need to make the next time a bully tries to gaslight you.

phrases to shut down a gaslighter

When people gaslight you, it can leave you confused and feeling unnecessary guilt. If you’re like I was, you probably wish you knew powerful phrases to shut down gaslighting. As someone who’s been bullied multiple times, I’m giving you the most powerful statements you can use to shut your bullies down for good.

You will learn about the top, most powerful phrases to shut down a gaslighter.

After learning about all these cool comebacks, you are going to be a pro and on the ready the next time your bullies even attempt to gaslight you.

This post is all about the most powerful phrases to shut down a gaslighter. This is information that every person with integrity should know.

9 most powerful phrases to shut down a gaslighter

Before we get to the phrases, here’s a quick question. Have you ever had a situation when a bully was gaslighting you, and you were stuck without a good comeback? I have, and it was pretty humiliating.

Gaslighting can make its victims feel not only confused but also embarrassed. It’s extremely difficult to pull out a good comeback, on the fly, when you’re in the middle of a gaslighting session.

However, one thing you should never, ever say to a gaslighter is this:

“I’m sorry.”

“You were right, it’s my fault.”

To bullies, apologies are not only submissions but admissions of guilt. Moreover, telling the bully they were right and admitting fault amounts to surrendering to them. This is how bullies think.

Although it may be tempting to accept blame to avoid further conflict, don’t. It’s not your job to keep them comfortable.

Therefore, don’t capitulate to keep the peace. Not under any circumstances!

Never take responsibility for a bully’s behavior, or anyone else’s, for that matter. You are only responsible for your own words and actions, not anyone else’s.

The reason you should never capitulate like this is that the bullies will only take it and run with it. In other words, they will only weaponize it against you from here on out. And they will do it for the next several years, or even decades.

Here’s what you SHOULD say:

1. “The truth hurts sometimes.”

This phrase is brilliant because it does two things:

It infuriates gaslighters because it reverses the sting onto them, turning the tables.

Also, it exposes your bully’s inability to handle the truth.

Your bullies may become angry after hearing this comeback. However, it can only work in your favor because their emotions will only make them more obvious.

Why? Because bullies don’t get emotional unless they’re so afraid they’re losing control of the conversation that they begin feeling desperate. Always remember that.

2. “I don’t see it that way.”

This is a good comeback because you’re making it clear to the gaslighter that you don’t agree with them.

Keep in mind that gaslighters gaslight because they want you to feel like you’re losing your mind. And they want it to seem like their behavior is your fault. They want you to doubt yourself and think, “Well, maybe she’s right. I probably did have it coming.”

No, you didn’t. Remember that you aren’t responsible for anyone else’s behavior but your own. Your bullies’ behavior reflects their choices, not yours.

3. one-word phrases to shut down a gaslighter:

“Whatever.”

This one-word response is so potent. It’s short and sweet, and it’s the perfect blow-off to any gaslighter.

Why? Because it sends the message that you refuse to engage with them. Also, through that response alone, you communicate to your bullies that they’re a waste of your time. And really, they are!

Therefore, you end up taking the wind right out of the gaslighter’s sail. Why? Because your bullies are expecting a big reaction from you, and when you blow them off with a “whatever,” you stun them.

 Any time you calmly use this comeback, you send the message to bullies that they don’t hurt or intimidate you; they only bore you. Ouch!

It’s very difficult to counter a response of, “Whatever.”

Moreover, another reason this little beauty of a response infuriates bullies so much is that there’s no way to counter it. It stops them dead in their tracks and leaves them looking foolish.

Bullies may verbally retaliate with a “whatever” of their own. However, it will only make them look uncreative. Additionally, the bully will also look childish.

Therefore, the trick with this little one-word bomb is to draw first blood. In other words, he who says it first automatically wins the day!

Do it this way, and you look calm, cool, and collected while making your bullies look defeated. Most importantly, you preserve your own sanity by refusing to argue or to agree with their drivel.

So, keep this on your list of comebacks because with it, you can’t go wrong! Just remember to say it calmly and coolly. Then watch your bullies’ reactions as they search for a comeback, stumbling to find one without repeating you and looking utterly ridiculous.

However, whether they respond with a childish reply or not, your “whatever” has already shut down the toxic conversation. So, the only reason they respond is that they know they’re beat. Your bullies are only scrambling to find a comeback, which is why they usually fail miserably.

This is definitely to your advantage.

Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter:

4. I’m sorry you feel that way.”

This really ticks off bullies and gaslighters because, just like number 1, it turns the tables on the gaslighter. You send the unspoken message that you refuse to apologize for something you didn’t do or something that isn’t your fault.

Using this sarcastic comeback isn’t an apology. It’s a dig. It shows bullies and gaslighters that you couldn’t care less about their feelings. Also, it communicates to them that nothing they have to say to you is worth the effort you must put in to argue.

Again, this is how you respond to a gaslighter.  Gaslighters get no respect because they don’t give any.

5. “that’s your opinion, not mine.”

This comeback also turns the tables on gaslighters by sending their initial words back to them. Also, it lets them know you couldn’t care less about what they think of you or what they say.

Bullies will seethe when you use this gem of a comeback. I guarantee it!

6. “You have your reality, and I have mine.”

Gaslighters are notorious for trying to undermine your reality and call your perception into question. Anytime you give your bullies this response, you tackle the problem up front.

Moreover, they get the message that you’re not one to be swayed from your perception, which will shut them down completely. In other words, they’ll know instantly that you’re immune to any manipulative mind games they try to play.

And this is what you want, so they’ll leave you alone and find some other sucker to jerk around.

7. Phrases to shut down a gaslighter can also be questions.

“How?” or “Like WhO (what, when, where)?”

What you are doing here is asking for details. You’re responding to the gaslighter with questions, and they will absolutely hate that. Gaslighters always avoid details because when you ask questions, you change the focus from opinions and emotions to hard facts.

In essence, you force them to provide hard evidence to back up their argument. Most gaslighting bullies can’t do that simply because they only speak from emotions rather than facts.

Ask a bully questions referring to context and evidence. Then, laugh as you watch them stutter and stammer, trying to come up with an intelligent-sounding answer.

8. “You’ll get over it.”

This is the perfect response, rather than a direct apology.

Now, this may seem callous, unfeeling, and cold. However, the “you’ll get over it” response allows you to respond without accepting blame and

Always remember that bullies lack integrity and a conscience. Either of the two shown in the presence of those who don’t have it will be shot down.

Moreover, this comment will likely rile up your bullies’ emotions because they’ll get the message that you don’t take them seriously. And you shouldn’t. Therefore, they will expose themselves through their outbursts of anger and indignation.

Respond without taking responsibility for their bad behavior and do it with power!

9. The Softer version of one of the phrases to shut down gaslighters:

“Don’t worry. You’ll be alright.”

This response is the same as number 8 but with a softer touch. Again, this deflects the gaslighting away from you and back to the bully. The “Don’t worry” part highlights the bully’s anger or upset, while buffering you against the bully’s initial attack.

It’s one of the perfect verbal boomerangs that can force bullies to expose themselves because most bullies will explode at this comeback, even if it is a softer one. Why? Because they will get the message that you take their frantic gaslighting with a grain of salt.

So, what bully wouldn’t flip out at a response like this? Remember that bullies want you to get emotional. Or, they want you to hang your head low and walk away, feeling like you wronged them somehow.

Don’t do either of these things. Use these responses, and pretty soon, no one will bully or gaslight you. These responses worked for me, and they can work for you, too.

the post was all about the most powerful phrases to shut down a gaslighter to help you stand up to gaslighting and preserve your self-esteem and overall mental health.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Respond to DARVO: 7 Powerful Ways to Shut It Down

2. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

3. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

gaslighting phrases

Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

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Would you like to learn gaslighting phrases so you can recognize them as they happen? These are the most common statements bullies will use to make you doubt yourself.

gaslighting phrases

When bullies hurl gaslighting statements your way, it can be twice as hurtful. Why? Because they victimize you a second time after you call out the initial abuse.

As one who’s personally experienced this kind of behavior, I’m giving you the top gaslighting phrases to keep an ear out for.

You are going to learn the most common gaslighting phrases bullies use against their targets.

After you learn about all these statements, you will be better prepared to use the right comebacks to shut these creeps down. Moreover, you will have a better chance of regaining control of your life.

This post is all about the most common gaslighting phrases that every target of bullying should watch for.

Gaslighting phrases:

Before we begin with the seven most common phrases used by gaslighters, let’s learn the definition and goal of gaslighting.

So, what is gaslighting?

Gaslighting comes from the 1940s film, “Gaslight,” in which an abusive husband exploits his wife. And he does so by trying to convince her that she is coming unglued. Another word for this type of abuse is “crazymaking.”

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that bullies use to make you doubt your own personal experiences. Moreover, the goal of gaslighting is for abusers to wield more power over you and diminish your account of the abuse.

It is a sick and perverse mind game abusers play. So, what are the most common gaslighting phases bullies use, and what do they sound like?

1. “You’re only imagining things.”

Bullies and abusers use this phrase to get you to doubt your own reality. And they do it to question your own sanity. Furthermore, they aim to discredit you and get bystanders to question you. It’s so easy, it shouldn’t work.

But it does work, perhaps, a little too well!

By using this phrase, the gaslighter attacks your ability to remember things accurately. Just as they do with the first statement, they discredit you by making you seem like you’ve lost your mind.

Moreover, they use this phrase to humiliate and silence you. Bullies hope that by doing this, they can make you so afraid of looking unstable that you’ll clam up.

Gaslighting Phrases:

This phrase has many goals.

  • to discredit and embarrass you in front of others.
  • To intimidate you
  • And to silence you.

This is why so many victims of this tactic eventually stop talking. And it’s why bullies and abusers continue and escalate the abuse without consequences.

2. “That Didn’t happen.”

This is another deceitful response that bullies and abusers quote to discredit you. This statement is also designed to attack your memory. It also makes you seem like you can’t keep your story straight.

Moreover, when bullies make this statement, they make sure to look confident when they say it. They also say it with conviction. Here’s one thing you should know right now!

Abusers know that confidence (even false confidence) and conviction are THE two ingredients that will make any lie believable to bystanders.

So, be sure to keep this last bold sentence in the back of your mind! Always!

3. “You’re out of your mind.”

This is, perhaps, the worst of all gaslighting phrases.

Yep. There’s that mental health label again. Attacking your mental stability is the worst thing your bullies and abusers could ever do.

The reason is that society treats those with mental illness the worst. Therefore, they believe them the least. People with mental illness are the easiest to discredit, and bullies know it.

Moreover, hardened criminals and former prison inmates get better treatment than the mentally unstable. The reality is that people will take the word of a bank robber, a rapist, or even a murderer over them.

Bullies and abusers instinctively know this. When they attack your sanity, they immediately shove you to the bottom of the societal hierarchy. Furthermore, this kind of label is the most difficult to tear off.

It’s much easier to exonerate yourself from accusations of a heinous crime than it is from the mental health label.

Additionally, they set you up to face a truckload of hate, discrimination, and prejudice. Why? Because society has an intense hatred of those with mental illness.

Gaslighting Phrases:

those perceived to be mentally ill are treated worse than hardened criminals.

Even the mere perception that you are imbalanced can bring hatred to your doorstep. In fact, you may be the most stable person on the face of the earth.

However, all it takes is for one person to paint you as “unhinged.” They can spread the word to enough people. Then, they can kick back and let the court of public opinion take it from there. It’s that easy.

 As a result, your reputation will fall like a meteor. ‘You see? Here’s the rub.

Indeed, no one can ever prove that you’re mentally unstable. However, there’s also no way to prove that you’re not.

Mental health is almost impossible to prove.

Again, bullies know this. And that’s what makes this label so brutal. It has ruined the lives of many good, honest, and hardworking people.

4. “this is why nobody likes you.”

Bullies and abusers are masters at isolating you. They very skillfully use smear campaigns to turn friends and family members against you.

Bullies do this by reversing the roles and playing the victim. Then, they’ll slander you to anyone who’ll listen.

And the reason they do this is to confirm that you are a bad person. Moreover, they can break down the support system you once had.

Gaslighting Phrases:

Once your bullies isolate you, you’re theirs to do whatever they want with.

Once people turn on you, they get a green light to continue and intensify the abuse. Bullies can now abuse you freely without fear. Because who’s going to butt in? Who’s going to interfere? And who’s going to come to your rescue?

This is why bullies despise it when you have people who love and care about you. It undermines their power and control over you.

And once they’ve isolated you, this is the phrase you will hear them say. You bullies will say this to make you feel devalued. Also, they do it to drive home the point that you aren’t worthy of love and friendship.

The goal here is to break your confidence and lower your self-esteem. Understand that the goal of gaslighting statements is to condition you over time.

The process of gaslighting is gradual and slowly wears you down until it leaves you totally powerless.

5. “You Bring It all On Yourself,” Is another one of the most obvious of gaslighting phrases.

This evil and self-serving statement is meant to shift responsibility from the bully to you. Because they refuse to take accountability, they blame you.

In doing this, they re-victimize you by blaming you for their abuse. Other gaslighting phrases include:

  • “It’s your own fault.”
  • “You got what was coming to you.”
  • “You made me hurt you.”

NOTE: “You made me” statements are obvious gaslighting phrases. Therefore, see them for what they are. And cut ties with the gaslighter immediately, if possible. If this isn’t possible right away, you may need to plan your exit slowly and carefully. And you may have to watch and wait for the opportunity to get out.

6. You’re over-reacting” or “You’re being too sensitive.”

Gaslighting statements like these are used to trivialize your experiences. Understand that bullies are experts at downplaying their behavior and your feelings about it.

The goal here is to undermine your voice and your word in front of an audience. And they try to convince others not to take you seriously.

If your bullies can make others question your credibility, they can bleed you of any outside support.

7. “Everyone is on my side!” or “Everyone Agrees with me!”

This is also one of the top 3 worst gaslighting phrases. The reason it’s so bad is that it makes you feel outvoted.

In other words, by making this statement, the bullies want you to feel as if everyone is ganging up on you.

Therefore, the more people you think side with the bullies, the more likely you are to doubt and question your own judgment. Abusers hope you do. Why? Because if you doubt yourself, it’s easier for others to doubt you, too.

In conclusion

If you want to preserve your mental health, you must know who you are and what you experience. Stay strong and never doubt what you see, hear, and experience. Do it, no matter what mind games and tricks your bullies play.

Also, if possible, you must leave the environment (the company, the school, the relationship) if you expect to begin healing and take back control of your life.

Remember that people have left their home countries to escape oppression. That’s what gaslighting is: it’s a form of oppression, as are other kinds of bullying and abuse.

It won’t be easy. In fact, it will be tough for a while. But it will be worth it in the end! I promise!

This post is all about the most common gaslighting phrases to help you see gaslighting for what it is and find a way out of any bullying environment!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

2. How to Respond to DARVO: 7 Powerful Ways to Shut it Down

3. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out for

Coercive Control: The Top 5 Signs and How to Escape It

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Do you want to know what coercive control looks like? These are the signs you must watch for if you want to stand against it or make your escape.

coercive control

Coercive control is harmful as it strips you of freedom and autonomy. As someone who has experienced this before, I’m giving you all the signs to watch for. These are characteristics that I and many others have seen firsthand, time and time again.

You will learn the exact indicators so that you can decide early on the best course of action to take back your personal power.

After you learn about all these characteristics of it, you will be better able to take back control of your life and protect yourself from any future coercion.

This post is all about the signs of coercive control that every empathetic, high-integrity person should know.

Signs of Coercive control

Before we go further, we must know that coercive control happens in all aspects of life. We most often hear of it running rampant between romantic partners and spouses.

Although true, coercive control also happens in school and on the job as well. Moreover, it is the main ingredient of school and workplace bullying and mobbing.

With that said, the first step in getting out of any controlling situation is to know the signs and what it looks like. Here are the signs.

Coercive control consists of behavior patterns that terrorize, punish, and harm its victims.

1. Ultimatums.

Ultimatums are the number one, most obvious sign of coercive control. They always include threats of some form of loss or harm.

Moreover, they are meant to induce terror and slowly chip away at your confidence. Bullies use ultimatums to condition you into believing that you have no other choice but to obey.

Therefore, the goal is to force your hand by threatening to take away something important. This could be the loss of a relationship.

It could also be the loss of your home or your children. It could ever be your job or your entire career.

In other words, bullies wield power by threatening the loss or harm to anything or anyone you love.

Here’s an example. An abusive spouse threatens to take the children if the wife leaves.

Also, we have seen this form of control run rampant in the last five years. An example would be during 2020 and 2021, the height of the you-know-what.

It was, “do this within thirty days or you will no longer have your job.” Or it was, “If you haven’t done that within the next two weeks, we’ll revoke your business license.”

Ultimatums are so blatant. There should be no question that they’re hallmarks of coercive control.

If people begin giving you ultimatums, know that they are trying to control you. Whether it’s an abusive partner or a toxic boss at work. They can also be bullies at school. Therefore, you must stand against it.

You have two choices. Either say no and back it up by refusing their demands, or head for the nearest exit. Do either of these, and you make a choice not to be controlled.

2. Physical Assaults and attacks.

Bodily harm is another one of the most blatant and obvious forms of coercive control. Not only do physical beatings harm you, but they also induce intense fear.

So, see them as a tool for bullies to reinforce their power and control.

Nobody wants to get brutally beaten. Bullies instinctively know this. Therefore, they use the threat of physical harm to get you to obey their orders.

Therefore, if physical bullies ever attack you, it’s best to defend yourself. You have every right to do so.

If you can’t defend yourself because of size, lack of strength, or physical ailment, get the police involved. At least have them make out a report.

The law may or may not do anything for you. However, if they file a report and give you a copy, you have a paper trail.

Also, you have established a history of abuse on the part of your bullies.

You should also document each occurrence of physical abuse, even if it happens only once. Remember that documentation of bullying is sufficient evidence. Therefore, it’s admissible in court.

You have a God-given right to be free from harm. Don’t hesitate to assert that right!

3. the signs of Coercive control also include Isolating the victim.

When controlling abusers isolate you, they do it deliberately. They do it to cut you off from any support you may otherwise receive from others.

For instance, abusive spouses will stop their partners from talking to their family and friends. They will talk trash about the other people who love the partner.

Also, they will guilt-trip them for spending time with family and friends. Abusers will also claim that your family members and close friends don’t really love you. This is how they plant seeds of doubt in your mind.

Moreover, bullies will use smear campaigns to turn your friends against you. They will also do everything they can to prevent you from making any new friends.

Even worse, they will go as far as to try to turn your family members against you, too.

Again, they do this on purpose because their goal is to isolate the victim from support networks. This way, they can better keep their victim under their control.

This is why you must stand firmly against this kind of abuse if it happens to you. And if you can’t stand against it, document everything, then leave the environment. Leave the company or the town if you must. But, get away fast!

Next, consult an attorney if you can afford it. Lastly, file suit against them if you have sufficient evidence to do so.

4. They watch you closely.

Bullies and abusers will watch you like a hawk! Abusive partners, school bullies, and workplace harassers will stalk you online. And they’ll go through your social media profiles.

They do this to see if they can find dirt on you to spread around.

Abusive partners will scroll through your phone to see if you are cheating or talking to potential mates. They will also text you to check up on you.

They will ask where you are, who you’re with, and when you’re coming home. Also, they will drive by your house to see whose car is in your driveway.

Moreover, they will also try to find out who your visitors are. School and workplace bullies will also watch your house to find out the same things.

These kinds of people will even go through your trash. And they do this AFTER they follow you home.

And they usually do this while your garbage can is sitting on the edge of the street waiting for the next day’s garbage pick-up.

If possible, set up a home security system. Purchase a dash cam for your vehicle. Record these nosy nut-bags. Remember, stalking and invasion of privacy are illegal, and you can press charges. You can also sue the pants off them.

However, you must first gather your evidence and enough of it.

5. coercive control can also come in the form of cutting off any financial support the victim may receive.

This form of coercive control happens mostly in relationships between romantic partners. And when it does, the abuser often prevents you from going to work or getting a job.

Bullying partners do this so you’ll depend solely on them for financial support. Thus, making it more difficult to walk out on them and compelling the victim to stay in the abusive relationship.

Moreover, abusive partners may withhold money from you to punish you for a perceived slight. In this, they cause you to go without food, shelter, or clothing as a punishment.

This keeps you in line and gives the abuser continued control.

financial control doesn’t only happen in romantic and spousal relationships.

This may happen mostly in relationships. But school and workplace bullies can also exert this kind of control. For instance, school bullies will take your lunch money.

They may also coerce you to hand over the money they brought for school pictures and yearbooks. Realize that this is also a form of financial control.

Workplace bullies may cause the company to demote you, which usually comes with a huge pay cut. They may also deliberately get you terminated.

Also, workplace bullies will try to prevent you from getting a job somewhere else. Thus, they prevent you from supporting yourself or feeding your family.

Understand that this is also a form of financial control. Why? Because it cuts you and your family off from any financial support.

I know a few people who have endured this. And it took a long battle for them to overcome it and finally regain financial stability.

In conclusion

It may be difficult. However, it’s better to leave the relationship before it gets this bad. Also, document. I can’t repeat this enough! Documenting is crucial!

Also, you must document every instance of workplace bullying. Then, leave the toxic workplace before your bullies have a chance to get you fired.

You’ll know the signs early on if you pay attention.

This post was all about the top signs of coercive control to help you to know when it’s time to plan your escape and get out from under it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. How to Respond to DARVO: 7 Powerful Ways to Shut it Down

3. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators