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Alone vs Lonely: 4 Powerful Differences

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Alone vs lonely – do you know the difference? Here are all the differences between the two so you can distinguish between them.

alone vs lonely

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Alone vs Lonely. What’s the difference?

Too many people think that being alone means that you’re lonely. However, the two are different. In this post, you will learn the differences between being alone and being lonely so that it no longer confuses you.

Once you learn these differences, you will feel better about being alone. You may even begin enjoying it.

The title of this post is alone vs lonely. It is about how they differ, so you’ll feel much better about solitude and know what to do whenever you feel lonely.

Alone vs Lonely

How do you tell the difference between being alone and being lonely? Here’s how.

1. Being Alone is Physical. Being Lonely is a feeling.

Being alone means being in solitude- being by yourself. When you’re alone, you’re without the company of others.

Being lonely, on the other hand, means feeling abandoned. When you’re lonely, you’re sad because you feel isolated and alienated from others.

Therefore, being alone isn’t a bad thing. It can actually be healthy.

2. You can be happy when you’re alone. You can’t when you’re lonely.

Alone is a state of being. Whereas loneliness is a state of mind – an emotion. You can be in a room full of people, and though you may not be alone, you can still be lonely.

It’s not about the number of people around you; it’s about how they make you feel. Therefore, when you’re alone, you can be happy. When you’re lonely, you can’t.

Alone vs Lonely:

3. Being alone can be healthy. Being lonely is not.

Being alone can be beneficial because it allows you to focus on a project without disruption. It makes concentration much easier.

So, you can be alone without necessarily being lonely. And everyone needs a little bit of “me-time” every day!

Being alone is being at home by yourself and enjoying a good book. On the other hand, feeling lonely is that dull ache in your chest after you’ve lost a family member.

You can also experience feelings of loneliness after those you thought were your friends discard you. Again, being alone is a physical state. Loneliness is an emotion.

4. You shouldn’t fear being alone. But you should fear loneliness.

Many people are afraid to be alone. But why? Here are 3 reasons aloneness is nothing to be afraid of.

If you aren’t afraid to be alone, you won’t be afraid to let go of toxic people. But if you’re lonely, you’ll likely hang onto them.

“If you aren’t afraid to be alone, you’ll have the courage to walk away from relationships that are bad for you.”

– Cherie White –

I won’t kid you. Being alone can sometimes make you vulnerable. However, being surrounded by negative people only makes it worse.

So, wouldn’t you rather be by yourself than keep company with spiteful people? I would! You’re much better off.

This may be a hard thing to do. But sometimes, you need to weed out all the negative people and make room for the positive ones.

Alone vs Lonely:
Here’s a list of people to get rid of.
  • Those who use you.
  • Those who abuse you.
  • People who are ungrateful for the things you do for them.
  • The whiners and complainers.
  • Drama kings and queens.
  • Gossips.
  • Boundary-pushers.
  • Those who are clingy.
  • Power-players.
  • People who don’t see your worth.

When YOU don’t fear being alone, You’ll be more selective of your friends. On the other hand, if you’re lonely, you’ll choose anyone. And I mean, anyone!

It pays to be choosy about those you let into your life. Get rid of anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself. But keep those who love and respect you. Select those who value your opinions, even when those opinions are strong.

Not everyone who smiles at you is in your corner. Human predators always smile when they’re looking for victims.

Therefore, when you don’t let aloneness bother you, it’s much easier to cut ties with toxic people. You don’t mind saying goodbye to fake friendships and relationships that hinder you.

Therefore, stop being scared of solitude. If someone isn’t treating you like you deserve to be treated, let them go. And do it even if it seems you have no other options at the moment.

For positive change to happen, you must do things that don’t feel comfortable. Letting go of people can be downright scary. But trust me. You must do it if you want a positive change to happen.

Remember that positive changes require risks. But those risks will be worth it in the end.

Alone vs Lonely:

Solitude is Good for you. Loneliness is not.

We all need a little space. Sadly, many targets of bullying are afraid of being by themselves. Why? Because they’re under the misguided belief that if you spend even a day by yourself, it means that there is something wrong with you. But there isn’t.

Being alone isn’t always a bad thing. Solitude can be good for you. We all need that “me-time.” You need that time to yourself to chill and recharge.

Trust me, I know what it’s like to never get any time to myself. Having someone under your butt sucks, and it can drive you up the wall.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy other people’s company just as much as the next person. But I can’t handle it when it’s never-ending.

I need my quiet time. I enjoy the me-time I get while my husband is away at work. The house is quiet, and I can get some ideas flowing. Then, I can get some writing done.

On the days I don’t write, I can boogie down to some good loud music while doing my housework. Or, I can go for a walk on a beautiful day.

For me, there’s nothing like sweet solitude!

So, don’t be afraid to be alone. Embrace it! You’ll be surprised at how refreshed you feel after you’ve had your private time.

Alone Vs Lonely:

How to beat loneliness.

If you ever feel lonely, there are things you can do to feel less so. Here’s what you can do.

1. Concentrate on your hobbies.

Do something you enjoy, preferably something that requires a little concentration and takes some time. For instance, I go to my writing. And if I’m alone or bored, and the house is quiet, I can easily shut out the rest of the world and get “in the zone.”

And once I’m in the zone, time passes quickly. And I can get so much work done. And, to tell you the truth, I love it!

When you make a project out of a hobby, it doesn’t seem like work. It’s something you enjoy. Also, it’s something that you are passionate about.

At the same time, it’s something you want to make as perfect as possible. Therefore, you’ll work on it and complete it, no matter how long it takes.

Therefore, when you’re working on a project that you love, you don’t have time to be lonely.

2. Get up and move.

Exercise works wonders, producing endorphins that make you feel good. Dancing to some good music is a great picker-upper!

I can attest to this because when my husband leaves, I turn on some good music. It’s the only time I get to play it because Mike is a TV person. I’m not.

Dancing makes me feel free. So, I do it as much as I can. Therefore, move as much as possible. It will drive away the blues.

Alone vs Lonely:

3. Do a home-improvement project.

Clean out your garage or closets. I try to declutter every fall during my Fall cleaning. Getting rid of junk I don’t use just makes me feel better.

I have found that my mind runs much more clearly when there isn’t a bunch of junk in the house. You see? When you get rid of the crap, you also declutter your mind.

I was bullied for six long years in school. So, I was no stranger to feelings of loneliness. However, I also had hobbies that distracted me from a lot of it.

My writing and art projects at home were one of the ways I survived those years. They made things a lot more bearable.

And when I’d finish a project, I’d get that feeling of accomplishment that would always supersede any sense of abandonment I felt!

Music was another hobby that helped me. When I’d dance in my room, it seemed that all my cares would disappear. I can’t even begin to describe the feeling these things gave me.

I may not have had control over how my classmates treated me at school. But I did have control over how I spent my free time. And I chose not to spend it feeling sorry for myself.

Instead, I spent it doing what I loved. And it helped me tremendously. Never fear being alone. Embrace it. Because it doesn’t mean you’re lonely.

Bullies may think that you are when they see you by yourself. But it only goes to show you the very thing they fear the most. Being alone.

Alone vs Lonely:

In Conclusion

Again, most people believe that being alone is bad, but it isn’t. It’s healthy. Why? Because it helps you to rest and recharge.

Here’s a quick recap of all the main points in this post.

  • Being alone is physical. Being lonely is a feeling.
  • You can be happy when you’re alone. You can’t when you’re lonely.
  • Being alone can be healthy. Being lonely is not.
  • You shouldn’t fear being alone. But you should fear loneliness.

Why you Shouldn’t fear Being Alone and Why You Should Fear Loneliness.

  • If you aren’t afraid to be alone, you won’t be afraid to let go of toxic people. But if you’re lonely, you’ll likely hang on to them.
  • When you don’t fear being alone, you’ll be more selective of your friends. If you’re lonely, you’ll choose anyone.
  • Solitude is good for you. Loneliness is not.

How to Beat Loneliness.

  • Concentrate on your hobbies.
  • Get up and move.
  • Do a home-improvement project.

The title of this post was alone vs loneliness. In it, you learned the differences between them and what to do to get rid of loneliness so that you can be confident and boost your self-esteem.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Real Friends vs Fake Friends

2.  Choose Your Friends Wisely: 9 Criteria to Judge by

3. The Perfect Victim: 9 Traits Bullies Look for in Potential Targets

4. Walking Away from Fake Friends

better to be hated than pitied psychology

‘Better to be Hated than Pitied: Here’s Why

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Want to know why it’s better to be hated than pitied? Here, you will find out why you should welcome your bullies’ hatred but reject others’ pity.

better to be hated than pitied

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It really is better to be hated than pitied. Targets catch hate, but victims get pity. Therefore, in this post, you will learn why hate is better than pity.

Once you learn this powerful life lesson, you won’t take it so personally when others hate you.

This post is all about why it’s better to be hated than pitied so that you can find the silver lining when bullies direct their hatred toward you.

Better to Be Hated Than Pitied

Not all targets want your pity. However, some victims actually want others to feel sorry for them. And some are infected with self-pity. But why?

Some people want pity because it makes them feel cared for. Some victims of bullying mistakenly think that if they can get people to feel sorry for them, they can, at least, avoid their hostility.

In other words, they think that pity will keep bullies from bullying them.

However, this usually backfires in the long run. Those who pity you may put off their cruelty for the moment, but it always comes back later.

And they don’t realize that, by begging for pity, they only make themselves look more inferior. Here are all the reasons pity is worse than hate.

Now, many confuse pity with compassion. But it’s different.

Compassion is feeling genuinely sorry that another person is suffering. Moreover, it’s offering to be there for them and provide anything they need during their dark time.

Pity, on the other hand, is condescending. It doesn’t offer help to someone who’s suffering. It’s looking down on them and feeling superior.

1. Those who hate you know that you’re powerful. Those who pity you think you’re powerless.

Ever since the dawn of time, people have always hated the powerful. And the reason is that they feel inferior to them.

No one likes to feel inferior. Therefore, they will despise anyone who makes them feel that way. It doesn’t matter whether the stronger person means to or not.

Better To Be Hated Than Pitied:

2. Hate comes from a place of equality. Pity comes from a place of superiority.

When people hate you, they consider you to be a formidable enemy. And they do it whether they know it or not. Put another way, they see you as an equal.

On the other hand, when they pity you, they place themselves above you. They look down on you from their high place.

And they’re just damn glad they aren’t in your shoes. In fact, they’re thanking the heavens above that they’re not you!

This is how bystanders feel when they see you getting bullied to death. And it’s why they won’t help you. All they can think is, “Damn, I’m glad I’m not the one taking shit from people every day!”

‘You see? Schadenfreude is real. And others get a tiny amount of joy watching you suffer. Why? Again, seeing you suffer makes them feel like they’re better off.

I want you to know with every fiber of your being that you’re inferior to no one! You have more power than you know. Therefore, you can change your situation. You just need to believe you can.

Better to Be Hated Than Pitied:

3. targets attract hate, victims attract pity.

Are you a target or a victim? Believe it or not, being a victim has a lot to do with mindset. And words have enormous power.

If you think you’re a target, you’re right. However, if you think you’re a victim, you’re also right. Victims surrender, but targets keep fighting.

 When you see yourself as a target and refuse to become a victim, you refuse to allow others to take control over your life.

Therefore, you keep fighting. You stand up for yourself. You may get knocked down, but you don’t stay down. Therefore, you always get back up again.

And most people will hate you for that. Bullies will hate you because they can’t control you. But if you’re a victim, others will continue to walk on you because they’ll feel superior.

Words have enormous power. Therefore, stop seeing yourself as a victim. Instead, look at yourself as a target. Why?

Because being a target is much more empowering than being a victim.

4. When others hate you, It means you’re a threat. When others pity you, It means you’re helpless.

Others pity you because they think you’re powerless. As far as they’re concerned, there’s nothing you can do to better your situation. And when you’re helpless, you’re least likely to try.

Helplessness means that, no matter how hard you try, your situation will remain the same. So, you’ll see no point in putting in the effort to bring about change.

People pity you because you’re at the mercy of someone else. In other words, someone else has to rescue you.

However, when others hate you, it’s because you challenge them. You can stand on your own two feet. And, more importantly, you won’t let others walk over you.

Therefore, you will get a truckload of hate from people who can’t control you or compete with you.

Better to Be Hated Than Pitied:

5. Hatred makes you want to fight back. Pity makes you want to give up.

Winners never quit, and losers never win. That’s because losers give up too easily. They quit any time the waters get rough.

But smooth waters don’t make strong sailors. Enduring hatred isn’t easy. However, their hate can motivate you if you let it.

And it does with many. Hate can light a fire under your ass. It can push you to succeed and become a better version of yourself.

Catching hate from others has driven many to exceptionalism! Therefore, let their meanness make you better, not bitter.

6. With Hatred comes a degree of respect, even if it’s a small one. With Pity comes disrespect.

When others hate you, it can be frightening. Don’t get me wrong. However, when you’re hated, you still have dignity. But when you’re pitied, you have none whatsoever!

People pity you when you don’t stand up for yourself. When you capitulate, no one respects you.  However, when you don’t give in to fear, people will hate you.

But again, they’ll only do it because they can’t control you. Others may attack you regularly, but you refuse to back down. You stand up for yourself no matter what it costs you.

Again, this attracts a boatload of hatred from those who wish to control you.

Better to Be Hated Than Pitied:

7. Hatred means you’re strong. Pity means you’re weak.

Realize that your bullies’ goal is to control you. And if you see yourself as a victim, you weaken yourself. Thus, you play right into their hands.

When people hate you, it’s usually because you are defiant. You’re nobody’s bitch, and they know it. Remember that bullies are cowards.

They want easy victims, not warriors who will bury them where they fall. And if they can’t subdue you, they will hate the very day you were born.

8. Hatred can be a compliment. Pity, on the other hand, is an insult.

Most people will hate you for your strengths, not your weaknesses. Why? Because it is your strengths that threaten them. But your weaknesses are conveniences to them.

Therefore, consider their hatred as a compliment. Why? Because it is.

On the other hand, pity is an insult. Why? As I mentioned earlier in this post, pity comes from a sense of superiority. When others pity you, they look down on you.

They like the feeling of being better off than someone else. In short, they get an ego boost from your suffering.

So, don’t accept pity from anyone.

Better to be Hated Than Pitied:

9. Hatred comes from Humility. pity comes from Ego.

Those who hate you have a degree of humility. Why? Because hate usually comes from competition, jealousy, and a sense of inferiority. I’ve found that most people hate you because they’re not you.

But those who pity you would never want to be you. They know they’re better off than you. Therefore, they feel superior to you. When someone pities you, you can bet they do it because they have a puffed-up ego.

In Conclusion

Receiving hate is difficult, don’t get me wrong. But getting pity is downright gross! The strong are hated. But the weak are pitied. Now you know why I always advise you not to hate your bullies.

Others may hate you for several reasons. Maybe you see through them, and they know it. They hate you because you see them for the cowards they are.

You know that they’re full of shit. And they know that you know it. People despise anyone who can see through their facades. So, they unleash their hatred onto you to cover their ass.

Those who want to control your life will hate you because you won’t take any crap from them. You won’t let them manipulate you.

However, those who pity you think that you’re weak. They think they’re better than you. Therefore, they look down from their Ivory Tower and thank the Lord above that they aren’t walking in your shoes.

And they consider themselves damn lucky not to be you. Hate brings a degree of dignity. Pity only brings disgrace.

So, let them hate you. And love yourself despite it.

This post is all about the reasons it’s better to be hated than pity so that you won’t mistake pity for care.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Don’t Hate Your Bullies, Feel Sorry for Them

2. Wallowing in Self-Pity: 7 Good Reasons to Stop Doing It

3. How to Love Yourself when Everyone Hates You

4.  Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters

bullying behavior examples

Bullying Behavior: 9 Behaviors in Bullies

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Want to know what the hallmarks of bullying behavior are? Here are all the characteristics you need to know.

bullying behavior

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Bullying behavior is hurtful and can cause a lifetime of damage. In this post, you will learn all the hallmarks of bullying so that you can recognize it and stand up to it.

Once you learn about these hallmarks, you will be better able to defend yourself because you will know what it looks like.

In this post, you will learn all types of bullying behavior so that you can stand up to it with confidence.

Bullying Behavior

Here are several hallmarks of bullying behavior. Some of them, we don’t consider often. But we need to.

1. Searching for flaws.

Bullies may not have anything on you. Therefore, they must search for dirt. And they must look hard for something to get angry at you about.

Bullies are on a constant hunt for things that are possibly wrong with you, and believe me. They’re like hounds sniffing a trail.

They will hunt for anything, no matter how tiny the flaw. Then, when they find it, they will blow it up and make a big deal of it.

So, understand that bullies are always on the prowl for dirt, controversy, and scandal. And if they can’t find anything, they will invent something.

So, here’s something you should know. If your bullies have to look for dirt, you did nothing to get on their “shadar.”

It’s not about them being angry, offended, or bothered by you. What it is about is power. And nothing else.

Bullying Behavior:

2. Barking Orders

When bullies order you around, they deny your equality and autonomy. Instead of respectfully asking for what they want, they bark off orders as if you’re a subordinate.

This is how bullies claim ownership of you. And they don’t have to be bosses or superiors to do it. Therefore, realize that no one has the right to give you orders other than your boss, teachers, or your parents.

And if a classmate or coworker steps over the line and barks off an order, it’s as simple as saying, “I don’t take orders from you.”

The trick is to counter the order. It’s the only way to maintain your autonomy and keep feeling good about yourself.

3. Putting you down to feel better about themselves.

They may call you names to your face. Or, they may say bad things to others behind your back. However they do it, your bullies need to feel superior.

Therefore, they’ll tear you down to build themselves up.

Bullying Behavior:

4. Acting Superior.

Again, bullies never build up; they tear down. They do not create or restore, they destroy. And they don’t add to anything, but they subtract from everything.

When bullies act superior, they may stand near you with their heads up, looking down on you. They may also talk down to you like a child.

However, understand that they do this to make themselves look and feel superior. They also do it to conceal their own jealousy and insecurity.

Moreover, they may do it to hide low self-esteem. Many people do it because they feel inferior to you. Therefore, they need to drag you down to their level.

You owe it to yourself to learn and see what’s behind the mask of superiority. You must see through the facades that bullies put up.

And once you do, it will no longer bother you when people look down on you. In fact, you might even see the hilarity in your bullies’ collective fakery. And you’ll give them a scoff and a horselaugh as you walk past them.

Now that’s the way to take the wind right out of their sails! So, allow yourself a few chuckles. Why? Because, at the end of the day, these people really are quite entertaining- and pathetic.

Bullying Behavior:

5. Violating your boundaries.

Bullies think they are entitled. Therefore, they wipe their feet on you like a rug. So, how do they step on your boundaries? Several ways.

Ignoring you when you tell them “no.”

For example, a school bully may ask you to let them cheat off you during an upcoming exam. Because of the way they’ve treated you in the past, you give them a hard “no.”

However, instead of letting it go, they keep pushing the issue. They may try to lay guilt trips on you. Or they may threaten you. Whatever their reaction, they clearly don’t take no for an answer and keep hounding you.

Know that you have the right to say no when you don’t want to do something. Therefore, the person is violating your boundaries by repeatedly trying to change your mind.

Invading your personal space.

Your bully may stand a little too close to you. Or, they might tower over you while you’re sitting in a chair.

They may also resort to unwanted touching. For instance, your bullies may poke you in the chest as they’re shouting at you. Or they may give you a hard slap on the back as they deliver a backhanded compliment.

Male bullies may also commit sexual harassment against their female victims. They may grope her breasts or privates. Or they may touch her hair. If she tells them to stop, they’ll only continue to touch her without her consent.

Bullies may also block the door to keep you from leaving. Or they may block your path when you try to walk away. They may even reach out and pull you back.

Bullying Behavior:

Invading your privacy.

Bullies are notorious snoops. Why? Because they think they’re entitled to know the most intimate parts of your life.

For example, your bullies may snoop through your office after you’ve gone home for the day. They may even nose through your purse or mail.

They may also intrude by asking personal questions about your finances or your love life. And they may eavesdrop on your private conversations. In worst-case scenarios, they may peek through your windows while you’re undressing.

Emotional Abuse.

Bullies may gaslight you. They may also guilt-trip you for setting boundaries. Or they may give you the silent treatment after you tell them no.

They may also criticize you constantly or give you advice you didn’t ask for.

Bullying Behavior:

Interrupting you when you speak.

Bullies may talk over you. Or, they may butt into your conversations with your friends. But you must understand the reason they do this.

These kinds of people are all about power and control. Therefore, they use this tactic to dominate your conversations. Moreover, they may do it to silence you when you speak out about their abuse.

You see? The one thing bullies are afraid of is you reporting them or telling others about the way they treat you. Therefore, they try to shut you down every time you open your mouth. And they do it just in case you tell them off.

They may tell you to shut up or be quiet when you’re about to talk. My classmates pulled the same tactic on me, and this is why.

6. Leaving you emotionally exhausted.

Bullies have ways of sucking the life out of you. How? Through constant harassment, they keep you under stress. In fact, they put you on a never-ending alert.

Because of this, you eventually become exhausted. Therefore, if someone drains your energy, get away from them. Fast!

7. Getting offended easily.

Bullies are the easiest to offend. This is because they hide a lot of insecurity and shame. Therefore, they have a desperate need to control others’ opinions of them.

Moreover, they are constantly searching for something to fight about. These types of people are all about drama. If they can’t find something to yell at you about, they will invent it.

Bullying Behavior:

8. Extreme Jealousy

It doesn’t take much to make bullies jealous. Therefore, if you’re confident, successful, and well-liked, it will trigger their insecurities. And they will make you pay for it.

You see? Bullies despise anyone who appears a little luckier than they are. And if that person is someone they deem inferior, then look out! Because they will rain hell down on you.

9. Aggression.

Bullies use aggression to get what they want. They may use relational aggression, verbal or physical. To control you and get you to do what they want, bullies may start with verbal aggression.

However, if that doesn’t work, they may escalate to physical. Inflicting bodily harm is usually a last resort when nothing else has worked.

How to stand up to Bullying Behavior

When your bullies have to look for dirt, smile. Because if they must search, that means they have nothing on you. If they make something up, laugh. Reframe it by knowing that it isn’t true. And look at them with ridicule.

If they bark orders, don’t budge. Look at them like they’ve lost their mind and keep doing what you were doing.

If they put you down, calmly say something like, “It must really suck having to bring someone else down to feel better.” Point that out, and you’ve already won.

If they act superior to you, the best thing to do is mirror the behavior. For instance, if they look down on you, return the sentiment.

If they don’t take no for an answer, repeat your no, then walk away. If they invade your personal space, call them out on it. And if they invade your privacy, call that out too.

Don’t respond to emotional abuse. Instead, see it for what it is and what your bullies are trying to do. Just scoff at them and walk away.

If they interrupt you while you’re talking, give them a hard look and tell them, “Excuse me, I’m speaking. You can talk when I’m done.”

Have nothing to do with those who leave you exhausted. You’ll feel the bad energy they put out. Therefore, it’s best to avoid those who drain you.

If they get offended, that’s not your problem. Therefore, don’t let it bother you. And if they’re jealous. Again, their problem, not yours. Let them seethe and keep doing your thing.

If they use verbal aggression, put your hand up and don’t let it bother you. Walk away. But if they use physical aggression, you have every right to defend yourself. So, do so.

If they get in your face or touch you, haul off and knock the hell out of them.

Bullying Behavior:

In Conclusion

Here’s a quick recap of bullying behavior.

  • Searching for flaws.
  • Barking orders.
  • Putting you down to feel better about themselves.
  • Acting superior.
  • Violating your boundaries
  • Leaving you emotionally exhausted.
  • Getting offended easily.
  • Extreme jealousy
  • Aggression.

This post was all about bullying behavior, what it looks like, and how to stand up to it so that you can continue feeling confident and standing strong.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. No Apology Necessary: 8 Things You Should Never Apologize For

2. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

3. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

4. Jealousy-Driven Bullying: 4 Signs They Bully You Because of Envy

Emotional Bullying: 7 Ways to Protect Your Self-Esteem

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Want to know good ways to protect your self-esteem from emotional bullying? Here are all the tips you need to know.

emotional bullying

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Emotional bullying isn’t as visible as physical bullying. However, it can still wreck your self-esteem.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to protect yourself so that you can protect your precious mental health and continue being the best version of yourself.

Once you learn all these crucial mind hacks and defensive maneuvers, you will be able to blow your bullies off with confidence.

This post is all about emotional bullying, so that you’ll know what it looks like and do the right things to protect your emotional health.

Emotional bullying

Imagine you’re an apple. You get dropped on the floor several times. Not hard, but dropped. On the outside, others won’t see the damage.

But cut the apple in half, and you see all the bruising. That’s what this kind of abuse does. It injures you on the inside.

In other words, you may look fine on the outside, but on the inside, you’re wrecked. Emotional bullying harms your confidence and self-esteem. It totally destroys your self-worth.

When bullies resort to emotional bullying, here are the tactics they use.

  • Smear campaigns to isolate you and prevent you from having friends.
  • Gaslighting to discourage you from speaking out or defending yourself.
  • Blaming you for every problem, regardless of whether you had anything to do with it.
  • Public humiliation to undermine your intelligence, credibility, or value.
  • Name-calling.
  • Exclusion.
  • The silent treatment.

Here’s how to protect yourself from emotional bullying.

Protecting yourself emotionally depends on how you look at your bullies’ attacks.

1. Reframe the attacks.

Reframing means to look at something from a different point of view. Here are a few scenarios.

You lose friends because of bullying.

If your bullies lie about you and cause you to lose friends, it may hurt. And it may hurt like hell. I won’t kid you. However, you can look at it like this. They were never your friends to begin with.

You see? When your friends believe your bullies and turn their backs on you, they’re revealing themselves. They’re showing you who they really are. They’re basically telling you that they never thought much of you in the first place.

Fake friends will turn and flee when the temperature rises. But true friends will walk through the fire with you.

True friends won’t be swayed by your bullies’ rhetoric. They will have your back no matter what. And they will stand beside you under the worst kinds of pressure.

So, let the cowards go. I know it hurts. But when someone shows you what kind of person they are, believe them.

2. Make friends on the outside. 

If you’re being bullied at school, make friends with kids who do not attend your school. If people bully you at work, make friends, and forge relationships with those outside your place of work.

This may not be as convenient. However, you would be amazed at what it can do for your self-esteem. Getting support somewhere else beats not having any at all.

Emotional Bullying:

3. Realize that your peers aren’t the most important people in your life.

In other words, they’re not the only people in the world. There’s a big, wide world outside the toxic environment.

They aren’t the only people who’ve ever known you. And they won’t be the only ones who will know you in the future. They’re just the only group of people whose views of you are based on lies and false information.

Therefore, realize that these people should matter the least to you. Your friends and positive relationships are outside that toxic environment. And more positive relationships will come your way. I promise you!

Here’s how to forge new relationships outside the environment.

Join clubs and interest groups.

For instance, if you’re into music, join a music club. If you’re into numbers, join a math club. If you’re into motorcycles, join a biker group. And no, I don’t mean groups like The Hell’s Angels. There are healthy bike clubs you can join.

Take a Class.

Taking classes not only improves your intellect, but it also gives you great opportunities to make friends. Therefore, if there’s a class you’ve been thinking about taking to improve yourself, do it.

Join a church.

You should go to church to worship. That much is true. However, there are many added benefits to it. One of those advantages is the chance to make new friends who will support you.

Emotional Bullying:

Join a Scout troop.

If you’re a kid who is bullied in school, you may be hated by your classmates. But you can join a scout troop and be loved by all the kids there.

Here’s Something to keep in mind.

Just don’t tell anyone what you’re going through at school or at work. Not at first. Give them time to get to know you.

The only places you should talk about what you’re going through are religious and therapy groups. Feel everyone out first.

You’re not trying to find a place to dump all your problems. You’re trying to find one where you’re valued and respected.

4. Fake it If you have to.

In other words, don’t give your bullies the satisfaction. Appear calm and confident even when you feel like you’re about to fall apart. Only talk honestly with your most trusted people.

5. Don’t vent or gossip.

It will only make you feel worse in the end. Also, it will only make you look as bad as your bullies. And, you’ll look unstable.

Distance yourself from your bullies. They may notice it and accuse you of being stuck up or standoffish. But what they think shouldn’t matter because your focus is self-care. And self-care is of the utmost importance when you’re a target of bullying.

And what you want is to take the sting out of the bullying you suffer.

Emotional Bullying:

6. Define Yourself.

You must define yourself, or others will do it for you. Never allow your bullies to define who you are.

Understand that your bullies may think they know you. They may attempt to define who you are. However, only you know what you are.

When bullies have the audacity to tell you who you are, they try to play God. They want to drag you into their world of make-believe.

Moreover, they want to force you to replace your thoughts of yourself with theirs. But know this. To accept others’ definition of you, you must discard your own.

Don’t let your bullies do that. Hold on to your self-belief. Refuse to let bad eggs make you feel rotten.

7. When bullies talk about you, Use reverse psychology.

Bullies will always have something negative to say. And you do not need their approval. So instead of thinking there is something wrong with you, why not look at it this way?

When bullies talk badly about you, here are several ways you can look at it.

  • They make you relevant.
  • It means you get to live in their heads rent-free.
  • You must be doing something right.
  • It means you aren’t boring.
  • You control them, they don’t control you.
  • You have the power to stir them up without trying to.
  • They wish they could be you.
  • They can’t control their own lives, so they want to control yours.
  • It means they’re obsessed with you.

This should make you feel good, not bad. So, let them talk. Why? Because some things don’t need a defense.

Just sit back, smile, and let their pettiness amuse you rather than hurt you. Don’t let your bullies get into your head.

Your mind is yours. Keep it that way.

Emotional Bullying:

In Conclusion

Protecting yourself from emotional bullying means loving yourself even if others don’t love you back. Continue to believe in yourself even when it seems that no one else does. You must also continue to stand your ground even when people want to bury you in it.

That’s how you keep your confidence and self-esteem from tanking. It’s how you keep even a little bit of your dignity, and it’s how you protect your spirit from being broken.

Your confidence may take many blows, but it doesn’t have to die. Your self-esteem may be pummeled, but you can keep it from hitting rock bottom.

Bullies may break off pieces of your dignity, but you can snatch them back. Your spirit may take a hard beating, but only you decide whether to let them kill it.

You have more power than you know. Your thoughts are the freest commodity you have. No matter what they take from you, they can never take your mind if you don’t let them.

“Power is not what you have but what the enemy thinks you have.” ~ Saul D. Alinsky (Rules for Radicals)

Think about that quote for a moment and realize that it’s what all bullies live by. Here’s a quick recap on how to protect yourself from emotional bullying:

  • Reframe the attacks.
  • Make friends on the outside.
  • Realize that your peers aren’t the most important people in your life.
  • Fake confidence if you must.
  • Don’t vent or gossip.
  • Define yourself.
  • Use reverse psychology.

This post is all about Emotional bullying so that you can recognize it and know how to defend yourself against it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

2.  Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

3. Jealousy-Driven Bullying: 4 Signs They Bully You Because of Envy

4. When You Need Someone More Than They Need You: 8 Ways to Tip the Scales of Power!

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25 Gaslighting Phrases Bullies Use to Dominate and Control You

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Want to know 25 gaslighting phrases bullies use to control you? Here are the twenty-five most common manipulative statements you need to know.

25 gaslighting phrases

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It’s funny how protecting yourself from bullies can be twisted into over-sensitivity, paranoia, vindictiveness, or vengefulness. But that’s exactly what bullies, or, in this case, gaslighters, are good for.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn 25 gaslighting phrases bullies use to control you. Once you learn all these phrases, you will be ready to respond confidently the next time a bully tries to gaslight you.

This post will give you 25 Gaslighting phrases you need to know to prepare you, so you can respond to gaslighters calmly and effectively.

25 Gaslighting Phrases

When bullying progresses to a point where you have to wear a body camera to work or school, that’s when you know without a doubt you’re being gaslighted. So, it’s most important that you trust those feelings.

And sometimes, things get so out of control that you may need to wear a body camera. And when you do, make sure you catch it raw and unfiltered.

Also, be sure no one, not even your best friend, knows you’re wearing it. Why? Because if anyone finds out, you risk retaliation. Moreover, they may destroy your evidence.

But realize that once the evidence is out, whether it comes out in court, your bullies will realize they’ve been busted. Then, they will continue to gaslight you, especially to others. They’ll accuse you of being sneaky, shady, scandalous, or unstable.

However, to catch gaslighting early on, before you ever have to wear a body camera, you must know as many gaslighting phrases as possible. Here are the 25 most common.

1. “You’re too sensitive.”

Bullies tell you this to make you feel like a wimp. They know that if they can make you look like a crybaby, they can shame you into shutting up.

Moreover, they can take the spotlight off their behavior and shine it on your reaction to it. And sadly, it works like a charm.

25 Gaslighting Phrases:

2. “You’re making something out of nothing.”

This phrase has the same goal as the first one. Bullies use your reaction to their abuse to cover up their behavior that provoked it.

If they can make your reaction seem over the top, they can shift the negative attention to you. Moreover, they can shut you up.

3. “I never said that.”

Bullies gaslight you with this statement to make you look dishonest. When they deny something they know they said, those who didn’t hear might look at you as if you’re telling lies about them.

Therefore, denials are meant to make you out to be a liar.

4. “Are you sure you’re remembering things correctly?”

This is a big one here. Bullies will often question your memory of events. However, it isn’t because they wonder if you’re having trouble with it.

Bullies know good and well that you can remember just fine. But they’re trying to make those around you think you have a poor memory.

You see? If others doubt your memory, you come across as not knowing what you’re talking about. And the bully looks innocent.

25 Gaslighting Phrases:

5. “I’m not angry. If I were angry, you’d know it.”

Like some of the other phrases, this one does several things at once. It helps them avoid accountability and shuts you down by making you look dramatic. It’s also meant to intimidate you.

Think about the last part of that phrase. “If I were angry, you’d know it.”  They’re saying that what they did was tame compared to what they could do to you. So, you’d better watch out.

6. “It’s your fault.”

When someone gaslights you with this, they’re justifying their behavior. And they’re doing it by claiming that you did something to provoke it.

25 Gaslighting Phrases:

7. “You bring it all on yourself.”

Just like the last phrase, this one says that their abuse is your fault. In other words, they blame you for their bad behavior.

Moreover, they imply that you deserve it, so you should just stand there and take it. Why

8. “If you hadn’t done this then I wouldn’t have done that.”

Same thing, different words. This phrase takes the blame off the bully and shifts it over to you. In other words, the bully is blaming you for their behavior. And you should take it because you deserve it.

This is how so many bullies get away with abuse.

25 Gaslighting Phrases:

9. “You made me do it.”

This is a classic gaslighting phrase. “You made me hit you!” Again, this implies that you did something to provoke the behavior.

10. “You’re out of your mind.”

Bullies use this phrase to make you look unstable. And it works. Why? Because who’s going to take you seriously if you have a mental health issue?

11. “You’re mentally unstable.”

Same thing, different wording. However, most bullies tell you that you’re “crayzeee!” They don’t use the term “mentally unstable.”

12. “Nobody’s ever going to love you.”

Abusive partners gaslight you with this to discourage you from leaving them. However, if you’re currently enduring domestic abuse, your partner doesn’t love you.

He just wants to control you.

25 Gaslighting Phrases:

13. “You’re lucky I put up with you.”

Ha! Bullying partners love throwing this phrase around. They use this to blame you for their abuse. Moreover, they make themselves look like the victim.

By doing this, they make you feel guilty for defending yourself. And they make others believe that you are the cause of their behavior.

14. “This is why nobody likes you.”

Bullies at school use this gaslighting phrase all the time. This is another way of blaming you for the rotten things they do to you.

Moreover, they want to take your lack of friendship and rub it in your face.

15. “You’re being petty.”

In other words, they’re telling you that you’re being small-minded. It’s another form of victim-blaming.

25 Gaslighting Phrases:

16. “You’re making a mountain out of a molehill.”

In other words, they’re saying that you’re making it bigger than what it is. It’s their way of trivializing what they did and making your reaction to it seem over the top.

Don’t fall for it!

17. “You can’t take a joke.”

People use this statement when you stand up to cruel jokes. Therefore, when a bully gaslights you with this, you can respond with, “Jokes are supposed to be funny.”

18. “You’re insecure.”

This isn’t only victim-blaming; it’s projection. The bullies are the insecure ones. Otherwise, they wouldn’t feel the need to mistreat others.

19. “You’re jealous of me.”

Bullies use this phrase when you call them out on their behavior. “You’re just saying that because you’re jealous of my life.”

Right! What they’re really doing is trying to take the attention away from their evil deeds. Moreover, they’re trying to make you look inferior.

25 Gaslighting Phrases:

20. “It’s all in your mind.”

Bullies use this phrase a lot. And they do it to make themselves look innocent. By claiming that you’re only imagining their abuse, they make you look like a drama queen.

No one listens to drama queens except people who are just like them. And bullies know it.

21. “It’s just your imagination.”

Same message, different words. Bullies look innocent when their abuse is made to look imagined. Therefore, they make you look like you have paranoia.

25 Gaslighting Phrases:

22. “If you love me, you’ll do this.”

This is how women get duped into having sex before they’re ready. Manipulative and abusive partners and dates use this phrase to get what they want.

And they do it all the time.

23. “You’re not perfect either.”

This phrase isn’t as potent as the others. In fact, it’s pretty weak. But bullies still use it. I can tell you that I’ve had them use it on me. The good news is that it’s easy to blow off.

Why? Because no one is perfect. And you know that.

25 Gaslighting Phrases:

24. “It’s all in your head.”

This is number 20 and 21 repackaged. Bullies use this statement to make it look as if you’re imagining their abuse.

25. “I’m doing this for your own good.”

Bullies and people in power use them to guilt you into doing something that will be harmful to yourself. And they play on your empathy and love for humanity to do it.

The best way to combat this is to see these two phrases as sure signs of manipulation. And follow your instincts.

Moreover, question their motives. Try to figure out what would be in it for them if you complied. Also, think of what could go wrong if you complied.

Also beware the phrases “for the greater good” or “for the good of humanity.”

25 Gaslighting Phrases:

In Conclusion

Gaslighting happens everywhere – at home, at work, at school, everywhere. Realize that no matter how you do it, you absolutely must protect yourself. Doing so requires that you know gaslighting when you hear it or see it.

It also requires that you maintain your sense of self. And you must set boundaries. If you did not provoke these bullies, stand strong.

And never let them twist the facts and accuse you.

This post gave you a list of the 25 Gaslighting PHRASES You’ll likely hear when you’re being bullied so that you’ll be ready to defend yourself the next time it happens.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For

2.  Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

3. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

4. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways It Impacts Victims

5. How to Avoid Being Gaslighted: 5 Easy Tips to Protect Yourself

6. Bullying and Gaslighting: 7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

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Bullying Myths and Facts

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Want to know all the bullying myths and facts? Here are all the truths and lies about bullying that you need to know.

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Sadly, many people still believe myths about bullying, bullies, and victims. Therefore, in this post, you will learn about bullying myths and facts so you can tell the truth from the lies.

Once you learn all these points, you will be able to stand up to bullying with confidence when someone gaslights you with one of these myths.

This post is all about bullying myths and facts, so you can debunk them with confidence and protect your self-esteem.

Bullying myths and Facts

Here are all the myths.

1. Victims are weak.

Fact: Wrong! Too many people think that victims of bullying are weak. They aren’t. Victims of bullying may have vulnerabilities. But they aren’t weak.

It’s the bullies who are weak. And it shows in how they pick their victims. Bullies never randomly choose their targets. They select those who are most vulnerable. 

You see? They would never try to bully anyone of equal power. What if the person fights back and buries them where they fall?

Therefore, bullies won’t take that risk. They go after low-risk victims – people who are safer to abuse.

2. Victims are losers.

Fact: Victims are not losers. Many of them are multi-talented. Lots of victims are star achievers and performers. And the reason bullies target them is that they’re jealous of their success.

Therefore, many people suffer bullying because they’re exceptional. And they threaten the bullies’ power and superiority.

Put another way, high-achieving victims outshine bullies. So, they naturally provoke jealousy. And bullies will pull out all the stops to make them pay for it.

You see? Bullies hate to be beaten at anything! If you outdo them at something, they will get back at you for it. I guarantee it.

Bullying Myths and Facts:

3. Victims Deserve Bullying.


Fact: Not true! Nobody deserves bullying. Ever! When you’re being bullied, you’re in the fight of your life.

And sadly, many people think that if you’re bullied, you must have done something to deserve it. And it’s because they believe that “good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people.” 

However, this is one of the biggest lies ever told. Bad things happen to good people all the time. In fact, it’s the good people who suffer the most.

And the sooner we realize this, the sooner we will be compelled to help victims.

4. Bullies are Brave.

Fact: Nope! They’re the exact opposite. Bullies are chumps! They’re bluffs! Blowhards! Windbags! They’re only good at hiding it. Why? Because, again, they select targets who pose no risk to them.

Bullies can’t stand against an equal.

For example, they always pick those they think are slow, those with mental disabilities. They may bully people with autism.

Moreover, bullies may target those with hearts of gold, who would never hurt a fly. They also go after people who are quiet and reserved.

School bullies may target children with physical flaws- those who are skinny or heavy. They may also bully kids who wear eyeglasses or braces.

Or, they may target kids who have been disfigured from car accidents or house fires. Again, they would never go toe-to-toe with someone of equal power because they know that they’d get served!

Therefore, bullies are cowards simply because they target those they think are weaker. Why? Because they know that weaker people are less likely to fight back.

Bullying Myths and Facts:

They get their power from others.

Also, bullies run around in packs. They hide their cowardice behind groups of flying monkeys. You will never catch a bully alone because a bully doesn’t know how to stand on their own.

So, their wingmen have to back them up and do their dirty work. Realize that bullies get their power from an entourage.

Without their errand boys to cover them, they would be powerless.

5. Bullies are Strong.

Fact:  Wrong! Bullies are weak. They only appear strong because they like to posture in public. They only hide their weakness behind loudness and false bravado. Understand that bullies are constantly trying to prove to everyone how tough they are.

And they do this by picking on someone they think is weaker than them. Real strength is quiet. It doesn’t posture. And it doesn’t boast.

Someone who is truly strong has nothing to prove. Therefore, they never announce their strength. Real strength doesn’t need an announcement because, if it’s there, it’s there.

Moreover, people who feel weak feel threatened by someone who is smart, competent, or well-liked. Therefore, they will bully that person to tear them down.

And why do they target someone who has these qualities? It’s because they hold a mirror up to them, forcing them to see their own pathetic reflections. Again, weak people will try to bring you down when you outshine them.

But, isn’t that what bullies do?

Strong people don’t have to do this. Why? Because they’re confident and they know their strengths. 

Bullying Myths and Facts:

6. Bullies are Cool.

Fact: They may seem so. But, they’re not the least bit cool. They’re sick. They’re demented, and they’re sadistic!

The fact is that most people are ignorant. Especially young people. They think that being cruel is being cool.

However, by being cruel, bullies only reveal their own lack of character. Therefore, the meanness is only a reflection of their own cowardice, insecurity, and arrogance.

7. Bullies are Exciting.

Fact: Really? You may think they are when they’re riding roughshod over someone else? But will you feel the same if they ever set their sights on you?

8. Bullies are In Control.

Fact: Are they? Most bullies have no control over their own lives. Why do you think they try so hard to control yours?

Realize that someone who is truly in control won’t try to take over your life. Why? Because they will be so busy improving themselves that they won’t care to target you.

9. Being Bullied is a normal part of childhood.

Fact: No. Being bullied is not a normal part of childhood. It never was. Again, many kids go their entire childhoods without being bullied.

Being bullied is a hell that few can comprehend. It hurts people so deeply that it stays with them for years. In fact, some people battle the resulting trauma for the rest of their lives.

Being bullied is a scourge victims never ask for. No one deserves that unless they’re a serial murderer or rapist.

In fact, most serial murderers and rapists don’t get bullied; they’re the bullies. Why? Because they prey on those weaker than them.

Bullying Myths and Facts:

10. All kids go through bullying.

Fact: Again, no, they don’t. Many people were fortunate enough not to have suffered any bullying while growing up. 

The reason people tell victims this lie is to normalize bullying and get them to shut up about it. The sad reality is that, if you’re being bullied, most people don’t want to hear about it.

11. Bullying makes you strong.

Fact: That depends on the individual victim. Yes. Some victims get stronger. However, they do so because they’ve been taught to defend themselves.

However, others have been trained to accept bad behavior, especially those who suffer abuse at home. Therefore, bullying in school or at work only tears them down more.

12. Bullying Builds character.

Fact: No, it doesn’t. It suppresses it. In fact, it stifles it!

Bullying instills fear in its victims. It makes them afraid to relax and be themselves. People don’t feel safe when they’re targeted by bullies.

In fact, being bullied can cause victims to shut down. And they bury parts of themselves for their own safety.

As a result, bullying can lead to low self-esteem and poor mental health. It’s impossible to build character when it’s being suppressed by bullies.

Bullying Myths and Facts:

13. ignore bullies, and they will go away.

Fact: No, they won’t. Ignoring bullies only makes them think you’re scared. So, they’ll only target you more.

Also, bullies want your attention, and if they can’t get it, they will escalate the bullying. Some see your ignoring them as “disrespect.” Therefore, they’ll likely retaliate.

The best thing to do is to respond calmly. But never react. 

14. Bullying is Natural Selection.

Fact: This is a load of bullshit. It may be a dark part of human nature, but a reason doesn’t equal an excuse. Bullies and their enablers often use this line as an excuse for their rotten behavior.

Moreover, bullying supporters say this to normalize this despicable and pathetic behavior.

If anyone rattles off any of the above lines when you speak out against bullying, counter those statements. And do it with conviction!

15. The best way to deal with bullies is to Kill them with kindness.

Fact: No. That’s the wrong thing to do. You must realize that bullies are predatory by nature. They see kindness as weakness.

Bullies only understand strength and power. They respond only to consequences, not to politeness.

Therefore, you must communicate with your bullies in the only language they understand. You must meet them exactly where they are.

In short, impose consequences when they bully you. It’s the only way they’ll leave you alone.

Bullying Myths and Facts:

16. Just give them what they want, and they’ll leave you alone.

Fact: Oh no, they won’t! Bullies can’t be appeased. Ever! It doesn’t matter what you say or do to satisfy the bullies.

If you submit to them, your bullies may go away and leave you alone for the time being. But they’ll always come back for more.

You cannot submit enough. The more you submit, the more your bullies will hound you. Why? Because it’s how they get what they want from you. So, why would they stop?

Sometimes, you have to fight before your bullies will leave you alone. The only way to stop being bullied is to stand up for yourself. And if that means putting up your fists, so be it.

In conclusion

The only way you’ll stop being bullied is to dispel the myths and know the facts. Then act on them. In other words, stand up to them. It’s the only way you’ll earn respect!

In closing, realize that your bullies want you to believe these myths. They do not want you to know the facts.

Moreover, supporters of bullying also want you to believe it because they like to side with bullies. Therefore, do your research. Once you learn the truth your bullies try to hide, you’ll feel more confident in yourself. I promise!

This post is all about bullying myths and facts so that you can use the knowledge to empower yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying Myths: 5 Widely-Held Beliefs about Bullies and Victims

2. How to Stop a Bully: 9 Powerful Hacks You Can Use

3. How to Stop a Bully from Bullying You: 7 Powerful Strategies

4. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

5. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

exposing bullies at school

Exposing Bullies: 5 Tips and Tricks You Need to Use

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Exposing bullies is much easier than you think. Here’s how to do it without putting in much effort.

exposing bullies

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Many victims don’t know how to go about exposing bullies. However, they don’t realize that it’s easy if you know what to do.

In this post, you will learn about the steps to expose your bullies for the creeps they are, so that you can not only protect yourself but also your reputation.

Once you learn these powerful tips and tricks, you will feel much more confident and look forward to a rewarding future.

This post is all about exposing bullies so that you can become a harder person to target and take control of your life.

Exposing Bullies

First, let’s explain the lies and facades bullies work so hard to maintain.

Bullies Must Work Like a Dog to Keep Up the Facades

Targets are naturally resistant to bullies. They may give in at the moment. And for a little while, they stay safe.

However, eventually, victims find a way to rebel and break free. And they do it either by fighting or by fleeing.

No one likes to be controlled. Therefore, bullies face resistance from others all their lives, whether that resistance is passive, aggressive, or both.

It’s only natural that you push against someone who makes you out to be someone you’re not. So, bullies will have to fight harder to maintain control of you.

BULLIES’ lies eventually catch up with them.

The weight of their own falsehoods gets heavier on their shoulders. Therefore, bullies must continually seek better ways to conceal them.

And that means they have to find more effective ways to subdue you and keep you silent.

Bullies get by only on appearances. The facades they maintain and the fronts they put on are only illusions. Mirages!

In reality, they have no leg to stand on. Why? Because the lies they tell about you are likely to collapse.

Therefore, the constant threat of being found out presses down on them.

Exposing Bullies:

Their facades will eventually collapse too.

Bullies have an insatiable need to be A-1 best. And if they can’t be, they will try to give that impression.

They must continuously struggle to maintain control of everyone and everything. That’s not easy.

The one Way Bullies Maintain their lies.

1. They get others to agree.

Once a bully justifies wrongdoing, they must secure others’ agreement. How else can they avoid accountability and feel good about themselves?

Getting bystanders to side with them is the only way they can when they’re living a make-believe world of lies and fabrications. But here’s the thing:

When bullies seek agreement from an outside source against you, their insecurity is even more apparent. Or, it should be. Why?

Because the truth doesn’t need outside agreement or influence. It stands on its own merit. Anytime you have to get others to agree, that’s a huge giveaway.

However, most people miss this because they’re blinded by fear. Intense emotions like fear or anger make people unable to think clearly.

It also blinds them to subtle signs and contradictions they’d otherwise see.

For example, when a person encounters a bully, he must keep his head straight. Then he’ll likely realize that the bully is the one who’s afraid.

This is not easy to do. When faced with a threatening situation, your logical mind shuts down, and the primal brain takes center stage.

Exposing Bullies:

5 Tips and Tricks to Expose Their Foolishness

Exposing bullies is more about letting them reveal themselves. That’s why it’s so doggone easy. Here’s what you do!

1. Use Their attacks against them.

When they attack you with insults, you simply say, “That’s your opinion.” Or you can say, “Opinions vary.” When you handle it this way, you force your bullies to drag it out.

You will force them to repeat the attacks over and over again. In other words, drag them out until they become boring and redundant.

I won’t kid you: this technique won’t be easy to do. Any time you’re attacked, your first instinct is to jab back with your own attacks.

But sadly, this usually proves ineffective as it only pulls us down to the bully’s level. Respond, yes. But react, no.

Respond with short comebacks like those above. Then walk away and leave the bullies standing there, running their mouths. You’ll make idiots out of them.

Why? Because when you don’t give them the reaction they want, their natural reaction will be to repeat like a broken record. Therefore, you force the bullies to repeat the same attacks until they get stale and others stop listening.

Also, you expose their childishness. You also expose the weakness of the bullies’ position, which they think is their strength.

Instead of attracting an audience, they only bore and alienate them. Sadly, I didn’t realize this when I was being bullied.

Exposing Bullies:

2. Weaponize your bullies’ triggers.

Here’s how you expose the bullies for the brutes they are. Use their own tactics against them!

 Find what triggers their emotions, then use it to your advantage. Get them in public. Do something you know will trigger them.

In other words, bait them into a reaction. Then stand back and watch with pleasure as they loudly lash out in front of everyone.

Sometimes, you must play the bully’s game if you expect to survive.

3. Befriend other victims.

Making friends with other victims will make your bullies nervous. And they’ll likely lash out in front of others. This is what you want!

4. Fake a Surrender.

Sometimes, real power comes with swallowing your pride and giving in to them first. When you do this, you’ll only enrage the bullies and throw them off.

Why? Because they were looking for a fight but didn’t get one.

Showing weakness can be a strength if you know how to use it correctly. When you make it look as if you surrender, you give yourself time to recover.

Moreover, you make time to subtly torture and irritate your bullies. You can sneakily sabotage your bullies in ways they’d never expect.

Maybe you can get what you can out of the surrender, then fight later when your bullies are not so strong. Believe it or not, bullies do eventually lose power.

Exposing Bullies:

You don’t surrender because you’re weak.

Surrendering isn’t about giving up. You do it to humor your bullies and lull them into a false sense of complacency. And you do it to fool them into thinking they’ve won.

Understand that bullies continually try to assert dominance and superiority. And if you make it look like you surrender to them, it’ll be easy to trick them.

Being submissive to them (for the time being) makes them feel satisfied and powerful. In this, the bullies become easier targets for a later countermove.

5. Use Your Weaknesses to Your Advantage.

In other words, make yourself look as helpless as possible. Sometimes, if others perceive you as weak, you can use that to your advantage!

My classmates thought that I was weak. And, at times, I used it to elicit sympathy from others. I knew that if I could appear too vulnerable and tempt them to become “too aggressive,” I would gain sympathy.

Then, I could paint my bullies as the sadistic morons they truly were. In these cases, I tricked my bullies into creating a martyr.

And they got into a ton of trouble.

For example, if you have a disease or disability, you can use it to gain sympathy. You can make your bullies look barbaric. And who wouldn’t be outraged to see someone pick on someone who’s too sick to fight back?

Here’s another example. If you’re a female with a tiny build, you can milk that for all it’s worth. You’ll have allies and protectors coming out of the woodwork and in droves.

Or, if you’re a typically charismatic guy and a peacemaker who doesn’t like to fight, you will also have people come to help you out.

Even naivete can be used as a weapon if you know how. Anytime you appear a little too weak, you turn your bullies’ power against them.

Exposing Bullies:

In Conclusion

However, this takes a truckload of self-control. You may feel like a big old wimp when you use some of these techniques. But remember this.

You’re not giving the bullies what they want. You only look like you are. You’re playing dead to save your life! In that, you’re outwitting them. And they don’t even know it!

Here’s a Quick recap of all the tips we discussed.

  • Use their attacks against them.
  • Weaponize their triggers.
  • Befriend other victims.
  • Fake a surrender.
  • Use your weaknesses to your advantage.

This post was all about how to go about exposing bullies so that you can take your power back and live in peace.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1.  How to Outsmart Bullies: 4 Unconventional Ways to Do So

2. Outsmarting Bullies: 3 Clever Ways that Expose Them 

Mental Health Label: Why Bullies Use It on You

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Attaching a mental health label to someone is the most evil form of bullying and gaslighting. Here are all the reasons bullies use it on you and how you can stand up to it.

mental health label

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In this post, you will learn about the mental health label, why bullies use it, and what you can do to peel it off.

Once you learn all these tips and facts, you will be powerful enough to stand up to anyone who labels you.

This post is all about why people weaponize the mental health label and how you can stand up to it.

Mental Health Label

You don’t have to have a mental illness for bullies to label you with it. All it takes is for people to think you have one.

And they can target you for this kind of bullying. This is why the mental health label is such a clever label to pin on a person.

And think about this. They don’t bully you because you have a mental illness. They say you have a mental illness, so they can bully you.

Your bullies know that you’re probably just as sane as they are.  Therefore, when bullies label you as a nutcase, it doesn’t mean they actually think you are. It means they want everyone else to think you are.

So, keep that in mind.

Here’s something else to think about.

Remember that bullies are the biggest cowards. If they really and truly thought you were cuckoo, they wouldn’t mess with you at all.

In fact, they wouldn’t come near you. Instead, they would do everything they could to stay out of your way. They don’t want to risk poking the bear.

They’d be on their best behavior around you. Why? Because they know that if a person is, in fact, loony, that person could rip their heads off and shit down their necks.

In fact, the person could go postal and wipe them all out, then go home and eat a sandwich.
Anyone with any common sense knows to walk lightly around someone who’s batshit cr4zy. They’ll go out of their way to keep from setting that person off!

Here are the reasons why bullies stick you with the mental health label.

1. You won’t let them manipulate you.

If they can’t manipulate you, they’ll attack your mental health.

It’s the oldest and most used tactic in the book! My classmates were no different. Bullies will always come back with the mental health label when they can’t manipulate you.

That’s because their next step is to discredit you. Moreover, they want to control how others see you when they can no longer control you.

2. They see you as a threat.

When you threaten bullies, they become both desperate and afraid. Refusing to be bullied sends several messages. And these messages threaten the bullies’ power and sense of superiority.

  • It tells them that you see through their smokescreens.
  • It tells them that you’re not afraid to tell them to go kick rocks.
  • It tells them that you’re strong and intelligent, not weak and clueless.
  • It puts them in their place.
  • It tells them that they can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.
  • It tells them that you don’t give a crap about what they say or think about you.
  • It tells them you couldn’t care less about impressing them.
  • It tells them they don’t matter.
  • It says that you don’t value their insults.
  • It also says that you don’t let anyone else define you.

Understand that bullies have an over-inflated sense of their own importance. Therefore, they feel entitled.

Bullies despise it when you tell them “no.” And they loathe anyone who will not be controlled. And if they can’t manipulate you, they’ll manipulate your relationships and the way others perceive you.

Always remember that.

Mental Health Label

3. To discredit you.

Your bullies aren’t dimwits. They know that you’re likely to get fed up with their crap eventually. They figure that you’ll either report them or stand up to them.

So, they may launch preemptive attacks to wear you down. The goal is to push you too far and get you to explode. And if you do, you only prove everything they say.

And if everyone thinks you’re bonkers, who’s going to take you seriously when you report the bullying?

4. To make you afraid to stand up to them.

When you begin standing your ground or speaking out about the abuse, bullies use this tactic to keep you quiet. In that way, they can keep their reputations spotless.

If you know people think you’re cray-cray, chances are you’ll be too afraid to open your mouth. Why? Because you realize that people probably won’t believe you.

They will only accuse you of having paranoia. Moreover, you’ll also be too afraid to fight back.  Why? Because once a victim is labeled mentally unstable, it’s much easier for bullies to reverse roles and play victim.

When people think you’re a nut-bag, they’ll only assume that you had a mental break and went postal. And the bullies were only trying to protect themselves from getting hurt.

Or they may make it look like you threw a temper tantrum and started shouting and cursing at people. Moreover, they may think you did it for no reason. All because you’re just “mentally imbalanced.”

Mental Health Label:

5. Mental instability is the hardest to disprove

Sure. Mental instability is one of the hardest to prove. Indeed, your bullies can never prove you’re stark raving mad. However, there’s also no way that you can prove for certain that you aren’t.

This label is just too easy to pen on someone and make stick. It shouldn’t be this easy and so successful. But it is.

6. There’s nothing else they can pin on you.

The mental health label is the bullies’ option when there’s nothing left for them to pin on you. Think about it. If they try to label you a slut when you don’t sleep around, they’d end up looking ridiculous.

And if they call you a thief when you don’t steal, they’d also end up looking foolish. With the mental health label, there’s plausibility.

7. To make you doubt your own sanity.

And when bullies label you, they will repeat the same garbage a thousand times over. But no matter how many times they call you unhinged, don’t you believe it.

See it for what they’re trying to do. If everyone else starts believing you’ve lost your mind, let them. Just make sure they don’t cause you to believe it too.

Mental Health Label:

8. People tend to see the worst in others.

And bullies know it. So, they use this truth to try to destroy you. And sadly, the burden of proof is on you.

Again, it’s damn hard to prove that you aren’t mentally unstable, especially when bullies attack you from every direction and wear you down.

Bullies may provoke you to set you up.

It happens all the time. You walk down the school hallway when a bully pushes you to the floor. But no one sees it. The same thing happens again the next day and the day after.

After so long, you get fed up. And you know the bully will be waiting for you the next time you walk down that hall.

So, you decide to punch the bully in the face before he has a chance to push you down again. And the next morning, you take the same route and see your bully evilly smirking as he waits for you.

You punch him in the face and knock him to the floor. But when you do, someone sees you, and you get into trouble.

Or, maybe people walk in on you as you’re telling your bully where to stick it. They only catch the tail end of the confrontation. So, they draw the wrong conclusions.

Understand that this is what your bullies are counting on!!! Often, they provoke you just to set you up to look like you’ve completely lost it.

 If the bully can make you look loony, then who’s going to believe you when you report the harassment? And who’ll take you seriously the next time you let the bully have it?

They’ll only sigh and think, “Uh-oh! There they go again! They’re having another mental episode!

How to Stand UP to The Mental Health Label:

Your first step is to gain knowledge.

When Bullies Magically Become Board-Certified Shrinks

Isn’t it funny how quickly bullies can become board-certified shrinks? And they can do it overnight without reading a single word from a psychology textbook.

Bullies are legends in their own minds. However, they make themselves look dimwitted when they “diagnose” anyone they cannot manipulate.

This little phenomenon is called “pop-psych.” And, in all its entitlement (and embarrassment), it empowers bullies to conduct “remote analyses.”

All while holding little to no education in the field of Psychology. Therefore, if your bullies try to diagnose you, you can counter these bogus statements.

1. Read a Basic Psychology 101 textbook.

And gain as much knowledge as you can from it. Then, you can ask your bullies questions that challenge the narrative.

Mental Health Label:

2. Challenge the narrative.

For example:

Jack: “No one should hang around you. You’re mentally imbalanced.”

You: “Mentally imbalanced? That sounds like a pretty bold accusation. In what way?”

Jack: “Uh… I don’t know. You’re like… schizo or something.”

You: “There are five categories of schizophrenia, which one do you think I fall into?”

Jack: “Oh, just forget it!”

You: “You can’t answer the question, can you?”

Jack: “Screw you!”

You: “Uh-huh. That’s what I thought.”

Then you just roll your eyes, scoff at Jack, and walk away.

When bullies use pop psychology, they do it out of ignorance and entitlement. They use mental health and mental illness as a weapon and end up making themselves look ridiculous.

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3. Stand up to those who label you.

Don’t fall for it! Look them in the eye, and tell them,
“You’re wrong, and you know you’re wrong! I’m not going to debate this any further with you!”

Then walk away and leave them standing there slack-jawed. If the bully follows you and asks, “What’s your problem?” don’t explain it to them.

They’re not five years old; they already know, and you don’t owe them any more than what’s necessary. Say as little as possible.

Don’t beat around the bush. Get to the point and say it like you mean it. Be firm but don’t yell (yelling makes you look like a basket case).

Mental Health Label:

In Conclusion

The bully may not change their attitude toward you. But I promise! You’ll feel so much better knowing that you put your foot down and looked less “unstable.”

Here’s a quick recap:

Why Bullies attack your mental health

  • You won’t let them manipulate you.
  • They see you as a threat.
  • To discredit you.
  • To make you afraid to stand up to them.
  • Mental instability is the hardest to prove.
  • There’s nothing else they can pin on you.
  • To make you doubt your own sanity
  • People tend to see the worst in others.

How to stand up to the Mental Health Label

  • Read a basic psychology 101 textbook.
  • Challenge the narrative.
  • Stand up to those who label you.

The best thing you can do is to keep your head and continue showing them up. It may take a while, but eventually, the label does get old and wear itself out. And when that happens, it will lose its effect.

This post is all about the mental health label, So you can have the knowledge you need to stand strong against it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying Based on Mental Health: 9 Reasons Bullies Target Those with Mental Illness

2. Weaponizing Mental Health: 7 Reasons Bullies Label You Mentally Ill

3. Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill: 7 Reasons They Do It

4. The Psychology of Bullying: 7 Things that Motivate People to Bully

5. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

6. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

school bullying victims psychology

School Bullying Victims: What a Typical School Day is Like

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Want to know what a typical day is like for school bullying victims? Here are all the details. And if you currently struggle with the same experiences, know that you are not alone.

school bullying victims

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School bullying victims endure abuse that no one who hasn’t experienced it can comprehend. Therefore, in this post, you will discover what a typical day is like for them.

Once you learn this important information, you will get a glimpse of their everyday lives if you don’t know what being bullied is like. And if this describes what you’re going through, you will know that you aren’t alone and that millions of others across the globe suffer with you.

This post is all about what a typical day is like for school bullying victims so that you can get a peek into their world and experiences.

School Bullying Victims

Imagine you’re in school. Let’s say that you’re in middle or high school.

You wake up in the morning and eat breakfast. While you eat, your mother is busy preparing for work. You stare at her, wanting so badly to tell her what is happening at school.

However, you’re much too afraid. If you do tell her, will she assure you she will address the situation, or will she tell you it’s all just a part of growing up?

Will she put her arms around you, give you loving motherly advice? And will she tell you that none of it is your fault?

Or will she tell you that you must be doing something to bring it all on yourself? Moreover, will she listen to you, or will she dismiss you and tell you to ignore the bullies?

Bullying fills you with shame.

As you ponder these questions, you open your mouth to talk. However, you decide that opening up is a bad idea. So, you put it off.

You are also ashamed of being bullied. How can you tell your family that you are the pariah of your school? How will they react when they find out that you are the number one most wanted among your peers? And not in a good way?

What will they say? How will they respond?

School Bullying Victims:

That Sense of Dread When You See The School Bus Coming.

Soon, it’s time to go to the bus stop. You go, however reluctantly. As you stand there, waiting for the school bus, you hope that maybe it broke down on the side of the road.

Maybe it had a flat, or something happened to delay its arrival. Soon, you finally see the bus coming up the road and your heart fills with dread.

You feel a lump in your throat and find it extremely hard to swallow. You are terrified because you know what’s coming the moment you step onto that bus.

Moreover, you know what’s coming later, when you walk through the school entrance. Just like every day for the past several years, you will be ambushed.

And you’ll be caught in a vicious onslaught of ugly names, taunts, and cruel digs. Even worse, bullies may even deliver a few punches, kicks, and shoves!

School Bullying Victims:

Bullying fills you with intense fear.

Just knowing this is enough to paralyze you. As you see the school bus approaching, your heart sinks, and your stomach turns somersaults.

You wonder if the torment will ever end. You wonder when the day will finally arrive when you can be like everyone else and go to school in peace.

When the bus stops in front of you, the doors swing open, and you step on reluctantly. An instant hush falls over the other passengers. And you notice the hard glares and furtive looks.

Next, you hear giggles and disapproving grunts as you make your way down the aisle to the first empty seat. Suddenly, you hear several different voices:

“Oh, God! Not her again!”

“Hey, bitch! How does it feel that nobody likes you?”

“Nobody will EVER like you! You should have been aborted at birth!”

“You’re such a waste! Why don’t you kill yourself?”

This has happened for so long. You’ve tried to overlook the taunts. And you’ve tried numbing your pain and stuffing it deep down inside. However, you can only do this for so long.

As you near an empty seat, a girl gives you a death glare. A boy gets up behind you and shoves you forward so hard you almost fall to the floor.

Then you find an empty seat and sit down. The girl sitting behind you borrows glue from a little first grader and pours it in your long, shiny-clean hair.

Another girl pours red food coloring down the back of your nice white blouse and brand-new jeans!

School bullying victims don’t want to burden their parents.

Now you must go to school with glue in your hair and a soiled outfit, only to be further ridiculed. Your mother’s at work, so there’s no way she can take you home for a change of clothes and hair wash.

And because you don’t want to be a burden to your parents, you’re stuck at school all day, disheveled.

When you arrive at school, everyone notices the glue in your hair and stained clothes. They point at you and laugh. Also, they call you horrible names, even lay hands on you.

You Suffer Unexplained Illnesses.

You are so distraught that when lunch arrives, you can’t even eat. Your stomach is in knots and your head pounds from the stress of being the school outcast.

The nausea is intense! You can’t count the times you’ve thrown up because of the bullying.

You feel Singled out. And really, you are.

You look around and watch everyone else enjoying school. You watch the girls flirt with their boyfriends. And you watch their boyfriends put their arm around them.

 What’s even more heartbreaking is that the rest of your peers enjoy real friendships. They get invites to birthday parties, slumber parties, camping trips, and dates.

However, not you.

You watch them laugh playfully with each other, and you can see the happiness in their eyes. And these are the same pairs of eyes that look at you with disgust.

The joy all over their faces is a reminder that you don’t have these things. And when they look at you, those looks of joy turn to looks of contempt.

School Bullying Victims Often Feel Jealousy of Others’ Good Fortune.

You want to be happy for them, but you don’t have it in you. Instead, you can’t help but resent the hell out of their happiness and blessings. Why? Because they seem to take those blessings for granted!

You watch as some of them even say horrible things behind their friends’ backs. However, strangely, the slighted friend is quick to forgive them.

So, they get to continue being buddies, as if nothing ever happened. But you? If you so much as look the wrong way, they want to tear you to pieces.

The Bullying Turns Physical.

After lunch, the torment escalates to a full-blown brawl. A pack of bullies physically attack you in the bathroom. Naturally, you defend yourself and keep them from hurting you.

This is the umpteenth physical attack that you’ve had to defend yourself from, and you’re dog tired! You’re sick of having to fight to get through the school day!

Moreover, you’re tired of having to grow eyes in the back of your head! It feels as if you’re being held hostage for eight long hours a day!

A teacher breaks up the melee, and you and your attackers are escorted to the principal’s office. If you’re lucky, the school will suspend all of you.

However, if you aren’t, your classmates will defend your attackers, and they’ll suspend only you. And for nothing more than defending yourself!

School Bullying Victims:

People seem to be standing in line wanting a piece of you.

Because your peers have been standing in line for years waiting for their shot at you. One by one, they take turns attacking you. And they outnumber you one to about 3 to 20 at a time.

And because each fight always seems to involve you, the school labels you the troublemaker. AS a result, most of the school staff are highly suspicious of you.

Therefore, you have no support.

You Have a lot of pinned-up Emotions

No matter how bad things get, you don’t dare let them see you cry. So, you bury your emotions until you get home.

Therefore, you go home that afternoon. In the privacy of your own bedroom, you cry, you scream, you beat your fists against your pillow. How else can you release years of pinned-up emotions?

You want to beat the living hell out of all of them. However, you take your anger out on your pillow. You may even fly into a rage and turn your bedroom upside down!

You are desperate for a change. Moreover, you need relief, but there is no sign of refuge. You want justice, but it seems it’ll never come. This is a situation that you can no longer see an end to.

You also want so badly to fix what’s wrong. But how can you fix it if you don’t even know what’s broken?

School Bullying Victims:

You try to hold on to your self-love.

Deep down, you try to hold on to the belief that you are a good person. But it’s hard to do that if no one else acknowledges it.

As a result, your belief in your own goodness begins to wane.

You feel that the only thing you have going for you is that you aren’t dead. Then you begin to think that maybe death wouldn’t be such a bad thing. At least no one could hurt you again.

You start to think of ways to die. Before long, death becomes an obsession. Your life seems like one big curse, and you want so badly to reverse the curse. But you don’t know how.

This is what it’s like to be a victim of bullying.

Things Eventually Get Better.

If this describes what you’re going through. Know that things eventually get better. So, hold on.  No matter how hopeless things may seem, you always have hope.

Better times will find you. There will come a day when you’ll no longer have to suffer. You will have friends who truly care for you. Moreover, you will find love.

You will find a partner and have children. And you will find success. So please, don’t take your life. You are worth fighting for even if no one else thinks so.

Your time is coming.

This post was all about what a typical school day is like for victims of bullying to assure you that you aren’t alone. And if you haven’t experienced bullying, you now know what life is like for those who do.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. It Only Gets Better: There is Life After Bullying

2. There’s Always Hope: 11 Things to Remember When People Bully You

7 things to do if your child is bullied at school

7 Things to Do If Your Child is Bullied at School

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If you’re a parent, do you want to know the 7 things to do if your child is bullied at school? Here are all the steps you need to know.

7 things to do if your child is bullied at school

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Nothing breaks your heart like finding out that your child’s classmates are tormenting them. Most parents are at a loss when it comes to the proper channels to go through to protect their children from school bullies.

In this post, you will learn 7 things to do if your child is bullied at school.

Once you learn all these vital steps, it will better equip you with the knowledge to protect your child and save their mental health. And you will be the hero they already know you are.

In this post, you will learn 7 things to do if your child is bullied at school to protect not only their physical well-being but also their self-esteem.

7 Things to Do If Your Child is Bullied at school

If you’re a parent and you suspect that your child’s classmates are bullying them at school, the first thing you should do is know the signs. Here are all the warning signs to look out for.

1. Know the Signs.

Marks on the body.

The most common warning sign is that your child comes home with bruises and scrapes on their physical body. Your child may also come home with torn clothing.

If they wear eyeglasses, the eyewear may be broken. Or their notebook may be torn. Physical bullies won’t only beat your kid up. They will also break their belongings.

 Bullies may snap their pencils in two or tear up their notebooks. They may also rip their shirt or a nice dress. Another thing physical bullies do is steal from your child.

Therefore, if you notice any marks, torn clothes, or missing items, don’t ignore them. Get your son or daughter to talk. Find out what happened.

Falling Grades.

If your child is normally an A student and their grades suddenly start to plummet, it’s time to be alert. Bullying puts an enormous amount of stress on a child.

In fact, it throws them into survival mode. Who can concentrate on schoolwork when they’re too busy looking over their shoulder?

You see? When the survival brain turns on, the learning brain shuts down. Assignments will become harder to complete. Bullying also affects memory. Therefore, your child won’t know the material when test time arrives.

If there’s a sudden change in your child’s grades. Do some detective work. Talk to them and find out if kids at school are bullying them.

7 Things to Do If Your Child is Bullied at School:

Sudden changes in Mood and Behavior.

If your child is normally happy and bubbly, and they suddenly begin coming home depressed, this should concern you. Therefore, lovingly ask your child what’s going on at school.

And listen to them if they tell you. Here’s something to note. Smaller children are more expressive. Therefore, it will be easier to get them to open up.

Tweens and teens, on the other hand, don’t confide in you so easily.

Avoiding School.

Most bullied kids dread going to school. They may skip class. Or they may fake being sick to avoid going.

Most targets are afraid of going to school because they know that bullies will be waiting for them as soon as they arrive. They may be watching for them when they step onto the bus.

If excessive absences become a pattern, you must get them to talk.

Withdrawing from Family and Friends.

Being the target of bullying can slowly chip away at a child’s self-esteem. And those with low self-esteem tend to withdraw.

It is a defense mechanism to protect oneself against further attacks. After being victimized for so long, targets begin to think that all people are vicious and cannot be trusted.

Therefore, they put up their guard and close themselves off. As a result, they miss out on opportunities for family closeness, friendships, or romantic relationships.

It could be that they don’t want to bother others with their problems and prefer to handle them on their own. Still, lovingly ask questions and be prepared to listen attentively if they open up.

7 Things to Do If Your Child is Bullied at School:

UNDERACHIEVEMENT.

Most targets are underachievers. Their self-esteem has been so badly beaten that they no longer believe in themselves. This can cause a condition known as “Learned Helplessness.”

After being told for so long that they are “no good” and “can’t do anything right,” they tend to believe it themselves. So, they stop trying.

This can hurt grades, class participation, and performance.

Also, they must focus all their mental energy on avoiding bullies and staying safe instead of on lessons. This is another reason their grades plummet.

OVERACHIEVEMENT.

Although bullying can lead to underachievement, it can go the other way as well. Some victims dive into work projects or schoolwork to take their minds off the bullying.

They also achieve exceptional grades and class performance to compensate for their low social status among their peers. They feel they are socially inept somehow.

Therefore, these kids try to make up for it by excelling in their work, studies, talents, or other areas.

This is not a bad thing. It’s actually a healthier way to handle bullying. However, it’s still a sign of it. So, be aware.

7 Things to Do If Your Child is Bullied at School:

Lack of Friends.

Most bullying victims have few or no friends. Having no friends leaves you vulnerable. Therefore, Bullies love to target kids no one wants to be friends with. Or they may target new transfers who aren’t yet socially established.

When you have friends, you have a support system. And bullies won’t mess with you because you have people who’ll likely stand up for you.

Therefore, they’ll likely go find a target who isn’t as protected.

They bully other kids.

Often, bullied victims feel helpless. They feel that they have absolutely no control over anything. So they may become bullies to feel some sense of power and control over something- anything.

These kids are called bully-victims. Why? Because they bully others who are even more powerless than they are. But why?

They do it to feel better about themselves. Moreover, they bully to stay off the bottom of the social hierarchy. As the old saying goes, “Shit rolls downhill and lands at the bottom.”

And what lands at the bottom usually stays there.

An example of this would be: A child gets yelled at by parents, then goes outside and kicks the dog. It’s the same with most bully targets. And as much as I hate to admit it, I was guilty of the same thing in school.

7 Things to Do If Your Child is Bullied at School:

Sadness and Depression.

Symptoms of depression are crying, withdrawal, loss of interest in activities one normally enjoys, and fatigue. If your child shows signs of depression when coming home from school, get to the bottom of it.

Suicidal Thoughts and Attempts.

Sadly, suicides resulting from bullying are at an all-time high! Most people who are bullied are powerless to stop it.

They’ve tried reporting it to school staff, only to be ignored. Or they may have tried to handle it themselves but gotten in trouble with the school.

Targets often feel alone. They think they have no one in their corner. And they may wonder if something is wrong with them.

They may feel as if it is their fault and that somehow, they deserve it.

And some victims break under pressure and conclude that suicide is the only way to make it stop. If you even think that your loved one might be suicidal, get help now!

2. Contact the school.

If your child is being bullied, let the school know. Talk to the teacher, then the principal. If they do nothing, take it to the school board.

7 Things to Do If Your Child is Bullied at School:

3. Save any email exchanges.

After you’ve contacted the school, save every email exchange on three to five separate flash drives. Then store each in a different location.

The reason you save emails is to create a paper trail. Moreover, you make three to five copies and store them separately to reduce the chance of evidence going missing.

Why? In a few isolated cases, people have broken into the victim’s home, found their evidence, and stolen it. When it comes to bullying, you never know what kind of people you deal with. Therefore, be smart.

Make copies and store each of them in separate places – places a burglar will least likely look.

4. Document.

When your child is bullied in school, it’s important to have documentation. Have your child write down what happened and who the bullies were.

Also, have them write down the names of the people who saw it, the exact date and time, and where the bullying happened.

If the teachers didn’t do anything about the bullying and blamed your child, have them write that down too.

And if your child knows why it happened, have them record that as well.

7 Things to Do If Your Child is Bullied at School:

5. Be there for them.

Bullied kids need a support system! Be that support system! Be there for them! If you see any of these signs in a loved one, don’t ignore or minimize them! Ask questions!!!

Try to get them to open up. It won’t be easy. Most kids are ashamed to admit being bullied. However, if you want to help them, you have to address it gently and lovingly.

6. Record.

You can hide a digital recorder in their backpack, or they can wear a hidden body camera. This will give them solid evidence of bullying if you have to take it to court.

And you can also use it if you need to take the matter before the school board. However, know your state’s laws before recording. Why? Because recordings are illegal in some jurisdictions.

7. Consult an attorney.

Many attorneys practice anti-bullying law. In fact, a few specialize in it. Therefore, if the bullying is out of control and the school refuses to help, it might be time to consult a lawyer.

7 Things to Do If Your Child is Bullied at School:

Bonus Answers

8. Transfer your child to another school.

In extreme cases, the bullying is out of control because it’s already ingrained in your child’s classmates. Once it reaches this level, the bullying is impossible to stop, no matter what you do.

Your child’s safety is of the utmost importance. Therefore, transfer your child to a new school, where they can get a fresh start with a clean slate.

And if you can’t afford to move your child, the School Choice Program offers vouchers you can use to enroll them in a safer school.

9. Home school.

Homeschooling is another option you can use. I realize that many people believe that homeschooling your child will hinder them socially. However, I don’t believe it will do that.

In fact, learning at home, where your child is safe, will only help them. Moreover, they can work at their own pace. And you, as the parent, have more control over what they learn.

So, it’s a win-win here.

In Conclusion

Victims often stay silent about the torment they face at school. This is due to shame and embarrassment. Also, Most family members and friends are not even aware that there is a problem.

Those who do know about it are often at a loss as to how to help them. Here’s a quick recap of what to do if your child is bullied.

  • Know the signs.
  • Contact the school.
  • Save any email exchanges between you and your child’s school.
  • Document the bullying.
  • Be there for your child.
  • Record the bullying.
  • Consult an attorney.
  • Transfer your child to another school.
  • Homeschool your child.

This post gave you 7 things to do if your child is bullied at school, plus two bonus answers so that you can ensure their safety and get them out of a toxic learning environment.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids!

2. When Victims of Bullying Change Schools: 12 Things to Expect

3. Bullying and School Performance: 3 Ways Bullying Affects Grades

4. Teacher Bullying: When Teachers Join In

5. Self-Esteem in Children: 3 Powerful Ways to Build a Child’s Self-Esteem

why bullies target sped students in schools

Why Bullies Target Sped Students

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Want to know why bullies target sped students? Here are all the reasons bullies select kids with intellectual disabilities to attack so that you can call these cowards out when you see them do it.

why bullies target sped students

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Bullies bully special ed students the most. Therefore, in this post, you will learn why bullies target SPED students so that you’ll be encouraged to stand up for them and call the bullies out for their own weaknesses.

Once you learn all about these pathetic truths about bullies, you will be more encouraged to stand up for students who can’t defend themselves.

This post is all about why bullies target SPED students to give you the courage to speak out for them and protect them.

Why Bullies Target Sped Students

As we’ve discussed in previous posts, bullies never bully randomly. They carefully select their victims. They know exactly what they’re doing and why they’re doing it.

Remember that bullies are nothing but sniveling little cowards. And they select anyone they don’t believe will fight back.

Bullies don’t pick on SPED students because they deserve it. No. Here are the reasons they target them.

1. SPED students are so different, they stand out.

Many of them have behavioral problems. They have difficulty controlling their emotions, especially those with intellectual disabilities.

For example, a group of bullies notices a kid shooting hoops by himself. They know him from school. They also know that he has emotional problems and that he’s in a special education class.

What’s really sad is that they’ve seen this kid have meltdowns on many occasions. Therefore, they look at each other and smile evilly before approaching the boy.

Then they surround him. The ringleader of the bully group snatches the basketball from the kid, then throws it to one of his buddies.

And, sure enough, the kid starts shouting, “Give me back my ball!” But the bullies laugh and refuse to give it back.

They keep passing the ball among themselves, taunting the sped boy. And because the victim’s disability prevents him from learning social skills, he melts down.

He cries and screams. The bullies laugh and taunt him more. Finally, they give him his ball and walk away laughing.

They got the reaction they wanted. And chances are that they’ll keep taunting him just to see him break down.

Why Bullies Target SPED students:

2. Some Can’t Read Social Cues.

When a person can’t read body language and tone, they can’t recognize manipulation. And they can’t listen to their gut feelings. Therefore, they’re easy targets for bullies.

Bullies can quickly pick up on these weaknesses. So, they take full advantage. For instance, bullies may pretend to be the victim’s friends. They do this to get close enough to the victim to harm them.

And because the sped kid can’t read social cues, he really believes they like him. The bullies may stand there and laugh at him. They may make fun of him.

But the sped kid thinks they’re laughing with him, not at him. For all he knows, they’re just having a good time with him. And they are, but not in the sense that he thinks.

Another thing these bullies may do is ask him to do humiliating things. And the sped kid does it, not knowing any better.

He doesn’t think he’s embarrassing himself. But the bullies and everyone else know better.

3. Many SPED kids don’t recognize manipulation.

Bullies will target these children because they know they can get what they want from them. For instance, a bully may ask a SPED girl for her lunch dessert.

The mean girl may tell her that if she hands over her fruit cake, then she’ll be her friend. And she’ll protect her from the other children.

Therefore, not knowing any better, the disabled girl does what the bully asks. However, later that afternoon, a pack of bullies surrounds the poor girl. The bully girl doesn’t keep her end of the bargain.

Instead, she leaves the SPED girl high and dry.

Why Bullies Target SPED Students:

4. They get less protection.

I hate to say it, but it’s true. Most people look down on them. It shouldn’t be this way. But it is. Kids are cruel. And many adults are worse.

Most people don’t protect them because they see them as less human. Therefore, most children in special education have few friends. Many are completely isolated.

5. In some schools, students gain social status by picking on those with lower social standing.

The only way bullies can feel powerful is to find a victim to pick on. And the only way they can measure up is to have a victim to use as a punching bag.

If they don’t have a target, they feel less than. Therefore, bullies will go to the ends of the earth to find one.

Realize that bullies can’t get power through meritocracy because they have zero redeeming qualities. So, they bully sped children who can’t defend themselves effectively. That’s what gives them social standing.

But know this.  Bullying at any age is born out of cowardice. Bullies who pick on SPED kids are pitiful people. Only lowdown, uneducated, sad, and pathetic idiots go after them.

Think about it! School bullies pick on kids they perceive as weak! They stoop so low as to pick on disabled kids! And they do it to feel better about themselves.

These bullies wouldn’t dare go up against someone with equal power. No. They’re too afraid they just might get their butts handed to them.

They’re nothing but gutless pieces of crap! Human filth! Toilet scum!

Why Bullies Target SPED Students:

6. SPED students are the most vulnerable.

Which is only proof that bullies are the biggest cowards in the world! Why? These particular targets are the most vulnerable. Moreover, they’re the least valued students in most schools.

They are virtually defenseless. The heartbreaking truth is that most of the other students and teachers don’t see these innocent kids as human beings.

Therefore, should it be any wonder that bullies prey on SPED students the most? Again! Bullies are cowards! They select kids with intellectual disabilities to target because these children are unable to defend themselves.

Because students in special education are usually low on social intelligence, they’re easy to get a reaction from, and bullies can exploit this at will.

During school, I would see bullies go up to a sped student, snatch something away from them, then as soon as the child started crying and screaming, the bully said, “Oops! Oh, I’m sorry. Here ya go!”

He gave the item back as soon as they got the desired reaction out of the poor kid.

7. Most mainstream teachers look down their noses at them.

I’ve heard gut-wrenching stories of other teachers in schools bullying those in the special ed program.

I also witnessed it firsthand during high school. A sped girl stood in the lunch line just a few heads in front of me.

And she was being laughed at and mocked by a group of cliquey teachers. Mind you. These women were supposed to be adults!

Why Bullies Target SPED Students:

My Heart HURTS for these kids.

I saw how these teachers would look down their noses at this child. I witnessed firsthand how they laughed and made her the butt of their cruel jokes.

Moreover, I heard the mean-spirited comments. The teachers remarked about how this poor girl would never find a job. She wouldn’t contribute anything to society.

They concluded that she would only be a drain on the taxpayers’ money once she got out of school.

I have to tell you. Just listening to those remarks made me sick to my stomach! How I wish I’d had the guts to stand up for her when it happened!

However, I was only seventeen and a student myself at the time. These bullies were teachers, and it was best for me to keep my mouth shut.

But I was also thankful. At least, those cackling old shrews weren’t spewing their venomous wisecracks on me. Pure prejudice and discrimination were what this was!

Not all mainstream teachers are this heartless.

Granted, not all mainstream teachers are this way. Most are very caring people who only want to help kids get the best start in life.

However, it seems that every school has that one group. Those four, maybe five teachers who are cliquey, mean-spirited, and who think they’re above anyone else.

And they usually mistreat the lunch ladies and custodians. They also bully other teachers who aren’t members of their little circle.

So, do you think they wouldn’t mistreat SPED students, too? Even SPED teachers get treated like trash. And it’s a crying shame!

Why Bullies Target SPED Students:

In Conclusion

Most schools don’t value students in special education programs as much as they value kids in regular classes. No, wait! Let’s be point-blank here.

Most schools are biased against these children. But they’ll never admit it. Not in this lifetime.

And bullies instinctively know this. They know that sped students aren’t worth much in the minds of school officials. Bullies know they don’t get much protection.

And this is why they torment them without fear.

Understand that bullies are the most disgusting, vile, and cowardly of people. To a bully, harassing a special ed child or disabled adult is like taking candy from a baby. It’s just too darned easy!

Bullies are threatened by anyone who is a challenge. They would never risk picking on anyone who could take them on. So they focus on the people they perceive to be the weakest and most vulnerable.

And the teachers who target these children are no better than the snot-nosed bullies who do it. They’ve only grown bigger. Adults should know better!

This post gave you all the answers to why bullies target SPED students to give you the knowledge as to how pathetic bullies are.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers.

2. Bullying in Schools: What Every Parent Should Know

3. People with Negative Energy: How to Protect Yourself from Them

4. Your Gut Feeling: Reasons It Can Save You from Bullying

weaponized morality psychology

Weaponized Morality: Another Tool in the Bully’s Toolbox

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Want to know about weaponized morality? Here’s what it is and why it’s just another tool for bullies.

weaponized morality

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Have you ever heard of weaponized morality? It is real and can be damaging when bullies use it to bully you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what weaponized morality is and several ways bullies use it to abuse you.

Once you learn all these crucial details, you will recognize it when you see it. Then you will be able to better protect yourself from it.

This post is all about weaponized morality so that you’ll be able to spot it when it happens and stand up to it with confidence.

What is Weaponized morality?

Morals are great, but sadly, can be weaponized for abuse. Bullies are experts at feigning morals. They may appear upright in public, but in private, they’re anything but. So, let’s delve deeper and discuss how abusers use morals to degrade victims.

So, what is weaponized morality?

It is the organized use of morals, ethics, and virtue to attack targets and gain power.

Why Do Bullies Use It?

  • To make fighting seem necessary to bring down an evil opponent.
  • Make themselves look virtuous and heroic.
  • Demonize their victims.
  • Convince others that the victim deserves the abuse.
  • To make their victims “safe targets” to bully.

Instead of using morality to benefit society, they weaponize it. Bullies manipulate morals to make conflicts look like battles of good against evil.

If you’re a target of bullying, your bullies will invert morality to reframe you as morally inferior. ‘You see? If they can make you look evil, then your bullies can more easily position themselves as righteous.

In other words, they get to hide their bad behavior behind morals. At the same time, they can convince others that you’re evil and you deserve abuse. Therefore, making you a “safe target” to bully.

Weaponized Morality:

Who are “Safe Targets?”

Safe targets are victims who are safe to abuse. If you are a safe target, basically, everyone hates you and doesn’t care.

You have no friends or allies, which means that you have no support. Therefore, there’s nothing to stop human predators from harming you.

Without consequences, bad people have carte blanche to keep abusing you. In fact, they have the green light to worsen the abuse. And don’t think they won’t.

And if you dare to try to defend yourself, they will punish you for it. Safe targets often trigger outrage when they stand up for themselves. In short, if you’re “safe,” others expect you to stay a victim.

This happens in politics all the time. One party does the same to the opposing party.

How Bullies Use It on You.

Bullies use the language of right and wrong not to address wrongdoing or injustice. They don’t do it to protect others or solve problems. No.

The reason they use it is strictly to gain power. They want the power to punish their victims and control other people’s status.

Moreover, they want to protect their own social standing. And they want to keep the hierarchy in place.

So, what does it look like?

Weaponized Morality Examples.

To help you understand it, we need to provide real-life examples. What does weaponized morality look like as it is happening?

1. There’s selective outrage.

This is when bullies condemn behavior only when you do it. But they excuse the same action if it comes from anyone else.

For example, if their friends gossip about you, they’ll agree to it. But if they catch you spreading rumors, they call you a troublemaker.

The behavior isn’t the problem; it’s who’s doing it. In this case, morality isn’t a standard; it’s a tool.

2. Using public shaming to boost social status. 

This is when bullies attack you in front of an audience to look morally superior to you. For example, they may loudly berate you for using politically incorrect language. Moreover, they do it in front of an audience.

This is a form of virtue signaling. The reason they do this is to make others see them as having virtue. Or, they may want to appear enlightened.

The correction may be justified. However, the bully’s real goal is to raise their status by making you look bad. Humiliation is a powerful tool for climbing the social ladder.

Weaponized Morality Examples:

3. Using the rules against you.

Rules are strictly enforced against you if others don’t like you. In fact, there’s no margin for error. You get no leeway whatsoever.

For example, if you break the dress code at school, you get punished severely.  But if another student does the same thing, they may get off with a warning.

Therefore, they use rules not so much to enforce the standard. They use them to reinforce the social hierarchy.

4. Launching moral smear campaigns.

For example, the group gives you a negative label for daring to question unfair treatment. They may frame you as “evil,” “creepy,” or “trouble.”

Then slowly, over time, more and more people avoid you. And they do it without considering whether the accusations are true.

This often happens in places with a culture of bullying. First, they damage your reputation. Then, they exclude you. And finally, they isolate you.

Weaponized Morality Examples:

5. Undermining you with fake concern.

This is when a bully insults or undermines you while pretending to care. Bullies do this to hide their true intentions.

For example, they may tell you, “…but I’m just worried about your mental health.” Or they may say, “I’m just concerned,” or “I’m just saying this because I care.”

However, notice how they repeat those statements publicly. If they really cared about you, they would pull you aside and tell you privately. But they don’t.

Therefore, they only do it to exaggerate and undermine your credibility. What they’re doing is hiding their aggression behind a veil of concern.

6. Using morality in the name of order.

This is when authority figures use morality to maintain order but deny the right to self-defense. For example, a bully punches you at school. And you hit back to make them stop.

And why not? They hit you first. Right? After all, you have to defend yourself. However, the school punishes both you and the bully. Why? Because, in their minds, fighting is wrong even if you were defending yourself.

Realize that the school wants to create the appearance of fairness. But they punish you for defending yourself.

Weaponized Morality Examples:

7. They use morality to reframe self-defense as aggression.

A bully will provoke you repeatedly. Then they act shocked when you get fed up and jab back. For example, let’s say the bully has been messing with you for months.

You’ve ignored it, and so has everyone else. You’ve tried to be the bigger person and walk away. However, the bully won’t stop. So, the stress builds.

Your patience has worn thin. Finally, you get angry and snap. Now everyone is shocked and outraged. Not at the bully for provoking you. But at you for finally standing up to the creep.

Therefore, they begin calling you “unstable,” “violent,” “the real bully.” They punish you instead of realizing that the bully’s behavior was what caused it.

And the things they call you become labels.

8. Social exclusion THROUGH moral labeling.

You disagree with something or say the wrong thing. Not because you meant any harm, but because you used the wrong language.

Now, everyone’s angry. So, they push you out entirely. And they label you “toxic,” “unhinged,” “a bad person,” or “unsafe.”

And they repeat the labels again and again so that they’ll stick.

Weaponized morality becomes a pattern.

So, how does the pattern work? Simple. Bullies and groups use this formula.

First, they define you as morally inferior. Second, they rally the troops and get the group to align against you.

Thirdly, they justify punishing you. And lastly, they gain power and control over you. They also gain social status.

But you must know the difference here. True morality protects people fairly and consistently.

On the other hand, weaponized morality sets a double standard. How? It enforces the rules only on a select few. But everyone else can break the rules and get away with it.

In a place with a culture of bullying, it isn’t about morals. It’s about who you are. It’s also about where you fall on the social hierarchy and how much power you have.

In Conclusion

Morality is a powerful weapon because it gives bullies justification to bully you. Why? Because once people think that they are morally justified, they can do really bad things to you.

Things that would normally make them feel guilty. When bullies use morals against you, they dehumanize you. And once you are dehumanized, you’re fair game for the most horrible of abuses.

In situations like this, even good people can turn evil.

There’s nothing, no matter how terrible, that people won’t do to you. And the scary thing is that some of them might even resort to murder.

If you ever face a situation like this, you now have the knowledge to call it out. Moreover, the safest thing you can do is to remove yourself from the environment.

This post is all about weaponized morality so that you can recognize it when it happens, call it out, and do what you must to protect yourself from it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids!

2. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

3. Punished for Defending Yourself: What You Can Do

4. Relational Aggression: 12 Must-Know Reasons Bullies Use It

5. Bullying: What Is It? And What Are the 11 Types of It?

11 sneaky ways bullies take power psychology

11 Sneaky Ways Bullies Take Power

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 There are 11 sneaky ways bullies take power. Know what they are? Here’s everything you need to know.

11 sneaky ways bullies take power

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Bullies have ways of disarming those in power. Ever wondered how? In this post, you will learn the 11 sneaky ways bullies take power so that you can build your own strategy and protect yourself.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be better able to protect yourself from charismatic bullies who use their charm to make you look like the aggressor.

This post is all about the 11 sneaky ways bullies take power so that you won’t be confused when you see it happen. Instead, you’ll recognize the pattern as it occurs.

11 Sneaky Ways Bullies Take Power

Bullies are sneaky little devils, aren’t they? They have ways of making others, especially those who are “important,” like them. As a result, they collect promotions, scholarships, and other trophies that move them upward and give them more power.

Here’s how they do it.

1. They suck up to authority.

This is how many bullies get promoted at work. Also, it’s how many curry favors with teachers at school. They implement strategies to ingratiate themselves with people in power.

If nothing else, understand this. Reputation is protection.

a. They act one way in front of some people and another in front of others.

Most bullies aren’t openly aggressive. They do their dirt in private. Bullies often act respectfully in front of teachers or managers. Then they behave badly when they aren’t around.

But understand this is a part of their strategy. And it’s to create a good guy image, just in case you get fed up with their abuse and report them.

You see? If you can score brownie points with the right people, then you can get away with almost anything. Kiss the right asses, and you reap lots of rewards.

11 Sneaky Ways Bullies Take Power:

b. They become assistants to authority.

For instance, a school bully may offer to help a teacher carry their books and teaching supplies out to their car.

A workplace bully may offer to stay over and help the boss complete a task. They do this to appear cooperative and helpful. They also do it to look confident and socially intelligent.

School bullies may become the teacher’s helper to appear more mature than their age.

But make no mistake. There’s a main reason they do this. You see? This is a preemptive strategy. How?

Bullies will gain favor from teachers and bosses, just in case you report them. And when you do, then authority is more likely to come back with, “Well, that doesn’t sound like them.”

Therefore, because the bully has already built a “good guy” identity, it creates cognitive dissonance in members of authority. And it makes them least likely to believe a word you say.

Put another way, if authority figures see the bully as charismatic and mature, then any accusations against them are harder to believe.

And you end up looking unstable, dramatic, or vindictive. Or, they may label you as “too sensitive” or “too emotional.”

This is what bullies count on.

11. Sneaky Ways Bullies Take Power:

2. They figure out what authority wants.

Seasoned bullies study authority figures carefully. They notice what gets praise, what makes authority feel respected, and what they like to hear.

Therefore, they figure out what behaviors the authority rewards. Once bullies know these things, they mirror the behavior authority expects.

For instance, bullies may flatter the boss. And why not? With people in power, especially those who are full of themselves, flattery gets you everywhere.

They may help the teacher while others watch them. They may act responsibly in public. Or, they might agree with the manager’s opinion on things.

This creates trust. And with trust comes preferential treatment.

3. They Act Nice to Everyone else but abusive to you.

When bullies use this tactic, you may see one version of the bully. But everyone else sees an entirely different one. Put simply, they may be Dr. Jekyll to everyone else, but Hyde to you.

Understand that this is a preemptive strategy. There are four reasons bullies do this.

  • To single you out and make you feel completely alone.
  • They also do it to make you feel like the defective one.
  • To get on everyone else’s good side in case you speak out about their abuse.
  • To silence you.

Bullies know that if they abuse you long enough, you’ll eventually get tired of it. Then you’ll likely report them or tell someone else about how they’re treating you.

And because others have only seen the bully’s good side, they’ll find it hard to believe. Moreover, they may label you as mentally unstable. Or, they might think that you’re jealous of the bully.

Therefore, they may blame you while the bully gets off scot-free. And once that happens, you’ll be too afraid to speak out. Therefore, it will be much safer to stay silent.

11 Sneaky Ways Bullies Take Power:

4. They lie convincingly.

Bullies are wordsmiths. So, when they lie, they sound convincing. Moreover, they may take things out of context to make you look bad.

Or, they may twist situations to fit their narrative. However, others will lap it up like thirsty dogs.

5. They Act one way in public and another in private.

They bully you when no one else is around. Or, they may bully you openly, but only after they’ve destroyed your reputation.

Once your reputation is trashed, people will think that you deserve the abuse. Therefore, they won’t intervene.

Bullies may also use subtle bullying tactics that others won’t notice. But they’ll make damn sure you get the point loud and clear.

11 Sneaky Ways Bullies Take Power:

6. They use plausible deniability as a shield.

Well-practiced bullies tend to avoid obvious abuse. Instead, they disguise it as joking. They may also use sarcasm and backhanded compliments.

Many sophisticated bullies use silent tactics, such as exclusion. That way, if you confront them, they can say,

  • “It was just a joke.”
  • “You’re too sensitive.”
  • “I don’t remember saying that.”
  • “You misunderstood what I was trying to say.”
  • “You take things the wrong way.”

And because their behavior is confusing, as it is meant to be, others hesitate to take it seriously. And they label you as unhinged.

7. They Preemptively shape the narrative.

Bullies quietly attack your credibility before any visible conflict happens. In other words, they sneakily discredit you to prepare for later conflict.

They may tell others that you’re difficult. Or they may say that you’re a drama queen. For example, they may say, “Bless her heart, she takes things so personally.”

Or the bully may ask, “Why is he so upset all the time?” But make no mistake. This is all by design. Your bully is making you out to be a bad person before they attack you, and you report them.

And when you do report them, the authority figure will already have a distorted mental picture of you.

“Well, maybe the problem is YOU.”

Therefore, the bully will have that extra layer of protection that shields them from any accountability.

11 Sneaky Ways Bullies Take Power:

8. They Surround themselves with supporters and admirers.

Bullies may surround themselves with people who laugh at their jokes and socialize with them. Some may even admire and adore them.

These followers may also defend them when you confront them for their behavior. But you must see it for what it is.

This is how bullies create social proof. Think about it. If everyone likes them, people in authority may assume that they are a good person. It’s natural for humans to trust group opinions.

9. They play the victim.

Bullies don’t mind dishing out the nastiness. However, when you start giving it back to them, they’ll play the victim role really quickly. In fact, they’re the biggest crybabies in the world!

They’ll quickly turn on the waterworks. They’ll cry those crocodile tears and play the victim. Unfortunately, they’ll do it so convincingly that others may fall for their bullshit.

Or, they may get angry at you for defending yourself. Why? Because, in their minds, you’re inferior. So, you should just shut your mouth and take it.

For instance, if you hold them accountable for anything, your bullies will bitch, moan, and regress into a toddler. If you stand up to them, they may run to a teacher or boss-man and cry like a little bitch.

They might throw a temper tantrum, railing against the injustice and unfairness of it all.

Also, they may do something to get back at you. Understand that cry-bullies must always get their way. This is why they get furious with you and throw a fit.

Then, they’ll tell anyone who’ll listen that you’re the bully.

11 Sneaky Ways Bullies Take Power:

10. They sow discord among you and others.

Bullies will often instigate fights between you and others. For instance, they may lie and tell someone else that you’re talking about them behind their back.

Then, when that person confronts you, it catches you off guard. They’re lashing out over something you know nothing about.

And you’re likely to push back at them in self-defense. Or, you may apologize profusely. Not because you’re guilty, but to get the person off your back.

Therefore, the bully has created enmity between you and another person.

As a result, this only further discredits you as a person.

11. They launch smear campaigns.

Smear campaigns are the most effective at tarnishing someone’s reputation. Bullies do this by spreading rumors and gossip.

And if they’re charismatic bullies, others will likely believe them. Who’s going to help you when you have a bad reputation? It doesn’t matter whether the reputation is deserved or not.

BONUS:

12. They Take Advantage of Human Biases.

People in authority are human just like the rest of us. They can be impressed by charisma. Those in power also admire confidence and humor. They like physical attractiveness. And they prefer shared interests.

Bullies are experts at human nature. So, they instinctively know this.

For example, if the bully is a high academic achiever or a student athlete, they’ll get better treatment than a quiet, obscure victim. Therefore, they’ll get the benefit of the doubt if you report them for bullying you.

11 Sneaky Ways Bullies Take Power:

In Conclusion

Bullies collect power in ways few realize. Let’s do a quick recap before we close. Here’s what bullies do to take power.

  • Suck up to authority.
  • Figure out what the authority wants.
  • Act nice to everyone else, but are abusive to you.
  • Lie convincingly.
  • Act one way in public and another in private.
  • Use plausible deniability as a shield.
  • Preemptively shape the narrative.
  • Surround themselves with supporters and admirers.
  • Play the victim.
  • Sow discord among you and others.
  • Launch smear campaigns
  • Take advantage of human biases.

Now that you know these tactics, you can better protect yourself from becoming a victim.

This post was all about the 11 sneaky ways bullies take power so that you can recognize this pattern and come up with strategies to protect yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying Techniques: 5 Top Sneakiest Tactics

2. Over Apologizing Trauma Response: 9 Easy Ways to Overcome It

3. How to Stop a Bully from Bullying You: 7 Powerful Strategies

4. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

facts about cyber-bullies psychology

Facts About Cyber-Bullies: 7 Must-Know Truths No One Will Tell You

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Know the facts about cyber-bullies? Here are all the truths about these cyber-creeps you need to know.

facts about cyber-bullies

Photo from Getty Images

Cyber-bullies don’t only hide their faces; they hide many more truths about themselves that the public needs to know.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the facts about cyber-bullies so that when they attack you, your self-esteem won’t take such a big hit.

Once you learn all about these crucial truths, you will be able to maintain your confidence the next time some internet creep selects you as their victim.

This post will give you all the facts about cyber-bullies so that you can stay strong when they attack. At the end of the post, we will also discuss what you can do if you’re cyber-bullied so that you can make them go away and have peace of mind.

Facts About Cyber-Bullies

Cyber-bullies bully through electronics, such as smartphones, computers, and the internet. The tactics include sending you mean private messages and posting negative content about you on social media.

They also use other tactics, including sending you harassing text messages, creating embarrassing memes about you, or posting humiliating photos of you without your consent.

So, let’s put these creeps on blast and list the truth about them they don’t want you to know.

1. They Don’t have the guts to say it to your face.

You can either take a stand, or you won’t. Cyber-bullies are the biggest, most pathetic cowards of all.

If you’ve ever dealt with a cyber-bully, I know how you feel. Words do have power, and it’s easy to be hurt when anyone attacks you, online or off.

I, too, used to get upset when I’d look at my instant messages and find that some idiot had sent me a flamer.

However, today, I’ve learned to see cyber-bullies for who they are. And that in itself can be a real boost to self-esteem.

Because cyber-bullies often use a fake profile or screen name. Also, they display a fake or blank photo to hide their identity.

Therefore, it only goes to show that they’re faceless cowards. And you shouldn’t take them seriously.

These losers talk so big and tough behind that keyboard- oh, yeah! They’re real badasses online. But you can bet that if they ever saw you on the street, they wouldn’t have the sack to step up.

Facts about Cyber-Bullies:

2. They live miserable lives.

Most cyber-bullies are losers in real life. They sit in the safety of their mom’s basements, attics, and backyard sheds. These keyboard cowboys bang on their computers all day while eating Hot Pockets.

Moreover, they hide behind fake profiles and screen names, trolling the internet and social media in search of victims.

So, when I think of the term “cyber-bully,” I instantly get a mental picture of one of two types of people:

  • Some broke, unemployed, and shirtless fat guy sitting and typing on a computer in his granny’s basement. He’s stuffing his face with Cheetos and sporting a man-bun.
  • A skinny, pimple-faced, bespectacled geek who could be a candidate for a “Revenge of the Nerds” reboot. This guy trolls people to compensate for having no friends and being unable to get laid, let alone a date.

Occasionally, I still deal with cyberbullies. When I do, one of those pathetic pictures immediately pops up in my mind. And I can’t help but chuckle to myself.

So, seriously! Should you give a rip what these losers think?

3. Most Cyber-Bullies are jobless.

It takes a real zero to spend even a few hours a day trolling other users. You see, most people have jobs, bills to pay, families to take care of – you know, a life. 

They don’t have time to play these kinds of games online with people they don’t know. They’re too busy. In fact, most people don’t care about you. They don’t care what’s going on in your life.

They have their own problems to deal with. And they have their own business to attend to.

Understand that when you’re cyber-bullied, you’re probably dealing with some poor soul who is unemployed. Why? Because if they had a job, they wouldn’t have time to troll you.

Facts about Cyber-Bullies:

4. Most cyber-bullies are lonely.

Most people also have loved ones. They also have spouses and families to spend quality time with. Also, they have friends they like to hang out with.

On the other hand, most trolls are bored, lonely, and miserable. The only way they can feel good about themselves is to do what they’re doing now.

Most serial cyber-bullies have no spouses or exclusive partners. Therefore, the only way they find meaning in their lives is to start keyboard wars with other users.

Trust me, it could be worse. You could be them.

5. Most cyber-bullies are incels.

It’s true. Most cyber-trolls couldn’t get laid if they paid for it. This is often the case with males who harass women online. And they usually do it because they’re angry.

They may also cyberbully luckier men. So, the next time someone bullies you online with ugly names and insults, consider the source.

Facts about Cyber-Bullies:

6. Most cyber-bullies are unattractive.

Look at the Super-Mario-looking guy in the picture above. Ever wonder why they don’t post a pic of themselves on their profile?

I’ve found that it’s not only because they fear being exposed. It’s also because they’re ashamed of the way they look.

And you know what? Most of them should be. A few years ago, I actually busted a few of the cyber-bullies who targeted me.

Now, I’m no beauty queen myself. Most of us aren’t when we’re in our fifties.

But let me tell ya! When I traced them through their email, I discovered that they were quite homely. Let’s say that they had faces only a mother would love.

7. They can be Traced.

These cyberbullies bullied me via my old blog. What they didn’t realize was that when a commenter posts, WordPress provides you with their email addresses.

This is in case you want to add them to your email list. Now, some of them had pictures of Disney characters as their email pics. Others had selfies, and again, they were not easy on the eyes.

Nevertheless, I managed to trace them. I took screenshots and exposed them. And that’s what stopped the harassment. Be aware that it isn’t as easy to trace them on social media.

Google and the police can also trace cyberbullies. Therefore, they should be mindful of that when they post.

Facts about Cyber-bullies:

What You can Do

Our first instinct is always to defend ourselves and our loved ones when attacked. Therefore, if you react to a cyber-bully, I understand.

However, just because it’s understandable doesn’t mean it’s the wise thing to do. Remember that cyber-bullies are looking for a reaction. Don’t give it to them.

Instead, use the SBRE method: Screenshot, Block, Report, Expose!

The SBRE Method

For this tactic to work best, please follow the steps in the exact order.

1. Screenshot.

Gather the receipts! You expose them by taking screenshots of their profiles and of the nasty messages they send you. Screenshot every message or vile comment.

Also, screenshot every cruel meme. In short, screenshot everything. Later, you’ll plaster them all over the internet. But not yet. Save them for the last step.

You can delete the incendiary posts or comments, but take screenshots of them first. Then store them in a folder and a flash drive.

Facts about Cyber-Bullies:

2. BLOCK.

If the cyberbullies happen to be on your friends or follower lists, you don’t need them in your life or stalking your page. Get rid of them!

Also, the sooner you block the creeps, the less likely they are to send you a virus or get access to any sensitive information.

Therefore, after you get all the screenshots you need (only you can judge whether you have enough evidence), block them.

3. Report.

Report the cyberbullies to the social media outlet. Every social media entity has this option. Use it. They may or may not do anything about it.

However, when you report it, you will still create a record. Once you report the person, take a screenshot of your report and the response you get from the social media outlet.

4. expose.

Remember that a cyberbully’s worst fear is you exposing them. Make their worst fears come true. Expose them by plastering the screenshots all over the internet.

You are doing this not only to protect your reputation but also to protect yourself. Moreover, you expose the cyberbullies to protect others from being trolled by them.

And trust me! Other users will thank you for it!

This bears repeating! Always take screenshots and save any evidence of online bullying. Why? Because you never know when you might need it for litigation.

If by chance, you find the true identities of your cyberbullies, you can more successfully sue them.

Understand that this may take a little bit of work. However, it’ll be worth it in the long run.

Facts about Cyber-Bullies:

In Conclusion

When you encounter a cyber-bully, you need to ask yourself these questions:

  • Should I take these wusses so seriously?
  • Should I give these worthless schmucks the power to make me feel bad about myself?
  • Should I value their useless opinions?

I can’t speak for anyone else. However, I find it hard to value opinions from people without a name or face.

They may be a Rambo in cyberspace. However, they’re probably a George McFly on the street. Therefore, you can only take these kinds of people with a grain of salt.

Don’t put too much stock in their opinions. Their words don’t carry any weight.

Understand that cyber-bullies are often people who flame others because they have nothing going for them. Online is the only way these pathetic losers can have a social life.

That alone speaks volumes. So, again, are they worth getting angry or depressed over? These idiots can’t make you feel bad about yourself unless you let them.

This post gave you all the facts about cyber-bullies so that you can continue feeling good about yourself, knowing that you aren’t miserable like they are.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Cyberbullying Tactics: 9 Common Tricks of Cyber-Bullies and Trolls

2. Effects of Cyberbullying: 15 Negative Impacts on Victims

3. Bullying on Social Media: 5 Reasons Why People Do It

4. Bullies are Cowards: Why Targets are the Brave Ones

5. Bullying Characteristics: 10 Bullying Behaviors to Be Aware of

signs of a bully coworker

Signs of a Bully: 15 Red Flags You Need to be Aware of

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Want to know the signs of a bully? Here are all the red flags you need to know about.

signs of a bully

Photo from Dreamstime

To keep from becoming a target of bullying, it pays to know how to spot a bully in a crowded room. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the signs of a bully so that you can know who to avoid.

Once you discover all these crucial red flags, you will be better able to bully-proof yourself. Moreover, you will be ready the next time a bully eyes you as a potential victim.

This post will give you all the signs of a bully so that you can spot bullies before they have a chance to spot you.

Signs of a Bully

There are many ways you can spot a bully if you know what to watch for. Here are all the red flags you need to be aware of.

1. Dominant Body Language

Bullies are notorious for expressing dominant body language. For example, bullies take up space. – They may stand with their feet apart and hands on their hips.

Or they’ll sit on a flight of stairs. And they’ll do it with their legs spread apart to force others to walk around them. Bullies may even lean back with their hands clasped behind their heads.

We’ll talk more about this in the next sections.

2. Invades Personal Space

If you are a victim of bullying, bullies will get in your face or stand too close behind you. Sometimes, they will stand so close that their bodies are touching yours.

They may tower over you while you’re sitting down. Again, bullies will purposefully crowd you, and there are reasons they do this. One of which is to intimidate you. Or, they may do it to challenge you.

Bullies are notorious space invaders. They make a point of getting too close. However, you don’t have to put up with it.

Signs of a Bully:

3. Invades territory

A bully may sit in your chair or lean on your car. Also, they may prop their feet on your desk. Understand what they’re doing when they do this.

They’re signaling ownership. Therefore, tell them to get their feet off your desk. If they lean on your car, you can tell them to stop it. If they sit in your chair, say, “You need to get out of my chair.”

Know that you don’t have to put up with it. So, set boundaries.

4. Dirty Looks

Mean-mugging, death glares, whatever you want to call it, it’s that unwavering stare some people give you. This is a hallmark of bullying behavior.

So, how do you respond to someone whose eyes seem to jump out at you? One thing to avoid is looking away, as this conveys fear.

 You return the expression. In other words, you give them your own dirty look. The reason you mirror their stare is to show them you’re not scared of them.

Signs of a Bully:

5. Takes up Space

Bullies try to appear bigger. They may stand with their feet apart and hands on their hips. When they do this, they signal authority.

They may also sit with their arms spread wide and legs apart. Or they may lean back in their chair with their hands clasped behind their head. This conveys confidence.

Moreover, bullies may also try to look taller. They may stand over you while you sit. And they may step up on a stair or any platform to tower over you.

The way you handle this is by staying confident.

6. Showing off

Bullies love attention. They may show off their talents. Or they might become loud and obnoxious. You protect yourself by being aware.

7. Hostile Body Language

When bullies show this kind of body language, they do it to instill fear. For example, a bully may stand too close to you.

Here are other examples of hostility.

Getting in your face.

They may get right in your face when talking to you. In fact, they may get nose-to-nose with you. When this happens, they’re invading your personal space. And the reason they do this is to dare you to do something.

Therefore, tell them firmly to get out of your face. Or, you can haul off and punch their lights out.

Signs of a Bully:

Giving you a death glare.

Bullies may lock eyes with you and give you a hard stare. And the stare will be prolonged. Moreover, the eyes will be narrow, and the brow will be furrowed.

As mentioned earlier, they do this to make you afraid. Or, they may do it to challenge you. The best thing to do is to give it back to them.

Smirking or sneering.

Bullies may smirk at you when you’re pissed. Or they may sneer at you with one corner of their lips turned upward.

Again, give it back to them.

Other hostile body language signals.

Other things they may do include puffing out their chests to look bigger.  Or they may square their shoulders to prepare for a fight. Moreover, bullies may point their fingers at you. Or they might clench their fists.

They may crack their knuckles or pound their fist into the palm of their opposite hand.

Signs of a Bully:

8. Provokes verbal or physical fights with those who have less power

You may see them toy with those who have less power.

For instance, you’re in the school lunch line, and you see a bigger boy starting a fight with a smaller one. Avoid this person. But don’t back down if he targets you next.

9. Stands in the center of the room

Again, bullies crave attention. Therefore, they’ll stand in the center of the room so everyone notices them. They may also have groupies standing behind them.

And you’ll likely see them showing off. The best thing to do here is to take note.

10. Cliquey (Has friends who bully)

Bullies usually run in packs. They are surrounded by buddies who only hang with them for social status. Also, these types will usually catch you when you’re alone.

Moreover, they’ll exclude anyone they consider inferior.

If you see them bully someone else, they’ll likely try to target you too. So, avoid these people. But don’t back down if they try anything with you. There are ways you can stand up to a group.

Signs of a Bully:

11. Plays the Victim

Bullies are experts at faking victimhood when they’re about to get into trouble. This is why victims usually end up taking the blame when they report bullying.

For instance, if you see someone telling on a bully, the bully will explain away their behavior. They might say, “Well, if Jackie hadn’t called me a creep, I wouldn’t have hit her.”

Or, they might say, “He does things to annoy me, and I’m tired of it.” Bullies may even say things like, “She keeps messing with me.”

They’ll say anything to get off the hook. And, most of the time, it works.

12. Blames others for their problems

If bullies are having a tough time, they may take it out on you. Realize that bullies need a scapegoat. Therefore, they use you as a dumping ground for their frustrations.

And they do it to make themselves feel better. Understand that misery loves company. And sometimes, they need you to feel just as badly as they feel.

That way, they don’t feel like they’re the only ones living in misery.

Signs of a Bully:

13. Avoids Accountability

Bullies have a flair for avoiding accountability. So, how do they do it?

They do it by sucking up to authority figures. They also do it by rationalizing and explaining away their bad behavior.

Moreover, they may behave like good guys toward teachers or supervisors. Then they show their true colors when they’re around people with less power.

14. Sucks up to Authority

When you see someone constantly sucking up to teachers or bosses, they may be a bully. The reason they do this is to garner favor in case they get caught.

Make no mistake. Bullies know they’re bullies. Therefore, they have to think ahead. They build connections with those in power.

That way, they can use them as added protection if someone reports them. This is another reason why victims get blamed.

15. Makes Everything about image and APPEARANCE

Bullies like to dress in the latest fashions. Why? Because they need to look like they’re rolling in money. This is one of the ways they impress others.

Other things they may do are make fun of others who don’t dress as well as they do. For instance, they may spend down to their last penny on designer clothes. However, if you wear clothes from Walmart because you’re trying to save money, they’ll ridicule you for it.

Signs of a Bully:

In Conclusion

The signs of a bully are easy to spot if you pay close attention. Here’s a quick recap of what we just covered.

  • Dominant body language
  • Invades personal space
  • Invades territory
  • Dirty looks
  • Takes up space
  • Showing off
  • Hostile body language
  • Provokes verbal and physical fights with those who have less power
  • Stands in the center of the room
  • Cliquey (has friends who bully)
  • Plays the victim
  • Blames others for their problems
  • Avoids accountability
  • Sucks up to authority
  • Makes everything about image and appearance

If you see clusters of the following behaviors, you will spot a bully before they have a chance to spot you. And you can also use these red flags to spot fake friends. And you’ll be ready for them if they decide to target you next.

This post was all about the signs of a bully so that you can recognize them and be prepared.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Fake Friend: 11 Easy Ways to Spot One with Bad Intentions

2. Enemies Are Better Than Frenemies: 5 Reasons Bullied Victims Must Beware Fake Friends

3. How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples

4. Personal Space Boundaries: What to Do When Bullies Cross Them

5. Invasion of Personal Space: 3 Ways to Respond to It