Want to know how to deal with a bully boss? Here are all the tips you need to know.
Dealing with a bully boss is, perhaps, the hardest thing you can ever do. Because of the power dynamics, it’s like running into a brick wall.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to deal with a bully boss so that you can protect your career and your mental health.
Once you learn these important tips, you will be better able to navigate a toxic workplace and protect yourself from a tyrannical supervisor.
This post is all about how to deal with a bully boss so that you can save your job and your career. In that, you’ll also be able to keep the damage to your mental health to a minimum.
How to Deal with A Bully Boss
Dealing with a bullying boss can wreak havoc not only on your job but also on your life. And if you’re living paycheck to paycheck, you’re trapped.
However, here are a few tips to minimize the damage.
1. Watch to see if your boss acts ABUSIVELY to everyone or just you.
Quietly observe your boss closely. Does he act that way with everyone or just you? This is how you can tell whether you’re being bullied or he’s just a jerk.
If he’s an asshole to other coworkers, too, then he’s likely not bullying you. He just has a sucky personality. However, if he’s nice to everyone else but treats you like garbage, then he may be bullying you.
And if it’s gone on for two weeks or longer, it’s become a pattern. Then, it’s definitely a case of bullying.
2. Stay calm.
If your boss is bullying you, it’s crucial that you stay calm. Why? Because he’s trying to get you to fly off the handle. You see? Bully bosses try to get you to react emotionally.
Why? So they can have an excuse to fire you.
You must realize that when some people get a little bit of power. They let it go to their head. So, don’t be the source of someone else’s power trip. Stay calm. Why?
Because when you do, your boss is the one who looks unhinged, not you.
How to Deal with A Bully Boss:
3. Calmly tell your boss that respect is a two-way street.
It’s okay to correct your boss. However, you must do it calmly. Tell him that you’re both adults here. You respect him and want the same respect in return.
You can say, “Look, I enjoy working for this company. And I want to benefit the company as much as I can. However, I won’t allow you to speak to me that way.”
Or, you can say, “You’ll get a lot more out of me if you treat me with the same respect you would have others treat you.”
Your boss may or may not like it when you assert yourself. In fact, he may bully you worse for standing up to him. However, you’ll feel better knowing that you didn’t take it lying down.
4. Enjoy friendships outside of work.
Your boss may make you feel like crap. However, not everyone will treat you badly. If you don’t have friends at work, make friends outside your job.
You can take a college course or two. Or you can join a club. Whatever you do, establish healthy relationships away from the company.
You will be surprised at how it boosts your self-esteem.
How to Deal with A Bully Boss:
5. Surround yourself with those who love and care for you.
Another thing you can do is spend time with your family and closest friends. Your boss may walk all over you, but these people won’t.
They’ll treat you with the love and respect you deserve. If you need someone to talk to, confident in your loved ones. Tell them about how your boss treats you at work.
When you do, they will listen and lovingly advise you on what to do. Also, you’ll be able to get it off your chest and feel better.
6. document your boss’s behavior.
Keeping a journal gives you a legal record of the bullying. Therefore, if your boss continues to abuse you at work, you’ll have your journal to take to the tribunal.
And it’s admissible in court in case you decide to sue. So, how do you document your boss’s behavior? You do it using the 5W Rule.
How to Use the 5W Rule
1. What
Record in your journal what happened. When you write about it, describe your boss’s behavior exactly as it unfolded. Include any exchanges of dialogue.
2. Who
Write down your boss’s full name, title, and position. Also, include the names, titles, and positions of any bystanders and witnesses.
How to Deal with A Bully Boss:
3. When
Record the date and exact time of the incident. Very important!
4. Where
You must include where the incident occurred (in your boss’s office, during a meeting in the break room, in the parking lot, etc.).
How to Deal with A Bully Boss:
5. Why
Write down why it happened. For example, was your boss retaliating because you stood up to him? Was he angry because you filed a formal complaint? Write down every detail!
If you don’t know why it happened, write that down. Moreover, if you can, describe how the incident happened.
What not to include in your journal
Pay attention to the quality of your documentation. Also, make sure you write everything neatly and legibly. You don’t want writing that’s hard to read.
Don’t be vague. Here are examples of vague statements in documentation.
- “Her words made me feel hurt and embarrassed.”
- “He verbally abused me.”
This is why detailed documentation is so crucial. Therefore, write everything down in the tiniest details possible. And no hearsay.
In other words, none of the “he said, she said” stuff. Ever! If you didn’t hear it with your own ears, it’s best not to record it. Only record your own experiences.
When you’re being bullied, it’s not the time to be lazy. You must be proactive and document! It’s the best defense there is!
How to Deal with A Bully Boss:
7. record your boss’s behavior.
This is tricky. You must first find out what the laws in your state say about recordings. If you live in a two-party consent state, you must have permission from yourself and the person you’re recording.
Therefore, recording an incident without their knowledge would be illegal. However, if you live in a one-party consent state, you don’t need their permission or knowledge to record.
So, you can do it without getting into legal trouble.
8. Keep a CYA file.
A CYA (Cover your ass) file can be the difference between losing your career and saving it.
Take pictures and make copies.
How you cover your butt is to use your phone to take pictures of any finished work. Also, make copies of receipts, invoices, and paperwork that prove you’re doing your job.
Take screenshots of email exchanges between you and your bully boss. However, your company likely has software that monitors the entire network. They will be watching you.
Moreover, they probably have a keylogger that records every keystroke you make. So if you use the company computer to take screenshots, they’ll know.
Therefore, use your phone to photograph the email exchanges. When you do it this way, you won’t blow your cover. And you’ll continue to keep your investigation secret.
How to Deal with A Bully Boss:
Make copies of the evidence.
Save everything on three or more different flash drives. Then, keep each flash drive in a different place. The trick is to take precautions in case someone connected to your bullies breaks into your house to conduct a little snooping.
This doesn’t happen often. However, it has happened, and you want to take precautions.
If your workplace bully boss sends you a mean or threatening text, save it. The more evidence you gather, the more you build your case. Therefore, the more likely you are to get justice.
How to Deal with A Bully Boss:
9. File a formal complaint.
Be sure to make out a formal complaint. However, be prepared. As soon as your boss finds out, she may retaliate. In fact, she likely will.
However, you must still file a complaint and keep the carbon copy. Formal complaints leave paper trails.
10. Whatever you do, never let the bully see you cry.
People in the workplace frown on crying, even if you’re female. The reason they do so is that workplaces prioritize professionalism.
Also, your bully boss will likely get a power rush. Don’t give him the satisfaction.
How to Deal with A Bully Boss:
11. Do the bare minimum.
In other words, don’t bust ass for a bully boss. Don’t go out of your way to prove yourself to them. Why? Because this usually backfires. And it makes you look desperate to win their approval.
You must do only the bare minimum. In other words, do only what you have to do. This is called “quiet quitting.” And it helps you to have some degree of control.
If your boss bullies you, the last thing you should do is do extra work just to win them over. Why? Because if your boss doesn’t like you, they’ll only take advantage of you. Then they’ll laugh at you.
Therefore, hold on to your pride. Don’t do a damn thing you don’t have to.
12. Update your REsume.
Quietly begin polishing your resume. It pays to be prepared for anything when you’re dealing with a bully boss. Situations like this can become cases of mobbing.
13. Quietly begin looking for other employment.
Begin job hunting as soon as possible. Why? Because when you have a bully boss, you will most likely get fired at some point. That is, if you don’t quit first.
Therefore, you want to have a job lined up when you leave.
How to Deal with A Bully Boss:
14. Quit.
There’s nothing wrong with quitting, even if you have to walk out without notice. Bully bosses make life at work hell. And no job is worth your mental health.
Just make sure you can omit this job from your list of job references. It’s not exactly the honest thing to do. But you do what you gotta do.
15. Consult an attorney.
Consult an attorney if a bully boss has caused any damages. An attorney will be able to advise you on what steps you need to take.
In Conclusion
Bullying, especially by a supervisor, is damn hard to prove. Therefore, you must have your ducks in a row.
Protecting yourself from bullying is your responsibility. No one else’s. Therefore, gather your own evidence. Then do what you must do to stand up for your rights.
For more on workplace bullying, here’s what I learned.
This post is all about how to deal with a bully boss so that you can stand up for your rights as an employee and come out on top.
This post taught you how to deal with a bully boss so that you can stand up for your rights and emerge AS a winner!
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. How to Handle Bullying: 7 Powerful Ways to Counter a Bully
2. Mobbed at Work: Signs You’re About to be Mobbed on the Job
3. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For