‘Want to know about self-preservation and why you must get just as nasty as your bullies sometimes? Here are all the details you need to know.

Over the past several decades, we have been conditioned to ignore our self-preservation instinct. Therefore, in this post, you will learn about the importance of this innate instinct and why you should sometimes get just as ugly as your bullies.

Once you learn this crucial information, you will no longer feel guilty when you have to show your not-so-polite side to human predators.

This post is all about the self-preservation instinct and why there are times you should use it so that you can be less of a target to bullies.

Self-Preservation

Here’s a story from my own experience.

“I could never be that desperate, and you could never be that lucky.”

That was my comeback to a group of male bullies after one called out to me as I walked past them, “Hey! My buddy says he’s madly in love with you!”

Being the smart-ass that I was, I made sure not to miss this chance. So, I delivered a snappy and scathing one-liner to someone acting like a total jerk. Why?

Bullies are cowards.

Some bullies won’t provoke you directly because they’re too chicken. So, they’ll slyly instigate someone else to insult you for them.

I knew that this was his cowardly way of instigating a conflict between his buddy and me. This wasn’t the first time he did that. Therefore, I was ready.

He would make these statements, then stand back at a safe distance and watch. It was also his way of baiting his buddy into insulting me in front of everyone. This is how he got his kicks.

However, this time it backfired on him.

Those who overheard it either shouted, “BURN!” and laughed at the boys. But some scowled at me and reminded me of how I’d “stooped just as low as them.”

I didn’t care. I just felt better after countering with such scathing return fire.

Self-Preservation:

Why am I telling you this story? 

Simple, to make a point. And my point is that sometimes, you have to go just as low as the bullies. You must not be afraid to get down and dirty when the need arises.

Most importantly, you mustn’t care what anyone else thinks about it.

Understand that with bullies, sometimes there’s no being polite. There’s no such thing as being the bigger person. And there’s no such thing as “playing fair.”

When someone is provoking you, you can’t be nice about it.

There are some things bullies don’t understand.

Bullies don’t comprehend the meaning of class. Couth is foreign to them. They don’t understand morals and scruples. Therefore, they have no concept of decency and respectability.

The only language bullies understand is a language that is cheap, tacky, and unsavory.

People who are even remotely impressed by bullies are a dime a dozen. In other words, when they insult you in public, those witnessing it will just laugh at you.

Therefore, you must speak in the only language bullies understand. It’s the only way they’ll get the message and back the hell off!

Self-Preservation:

It doesn’t feel good when you must go low.

I understand your discomfort with this. It sucks when you have to get down and wallow in their foulness and filth. But for purposes of self-preservation, sometimes there’s no other choice.

Sometimes, you must lower your own moral standards.

The good news is that you don’t have to stay in the mud. Only reserve the nastiness for emergencies like the one in the above story.

Here are the reasons why it sometimes pays to go low.

1. You can never appease a bully.

Never! No matter what you do. You may submit to them, and yes, they may go away and leave you alone for the time being. However, the small reprieve you get won’t last.

You see? When you submitted to them in the past, it always worked. You gave your bullies what they wanted from you.

Therefore, you were rewarding their behavior.

Anytime bullies receive gratification from bullying you, they will always come back for more.

They get instant psychological rewards just from your having to tiptoe around them. Why? Because it gives them a sense of power.

Realize that bullies are all about power! And they will never give that up. Not without a fight!

Self-Preservation:

2. You can never submit your way out of being abused.

You can never comply enough. Why? Bullies are never satisfied. And it only produces the opposite results.

Trying to appease a bully only makes you appear weak. It then emboldens them to come back for more later. Why? Because it’s what gives them results.

Consequently, you will spend years jumping through hoops and wondering when your bullies will be back in your face again. This is no way to live.

Life’s too short to waste one second being an emotional slave to someone else.

Eventually, you will need to take a hard stand. It’s the only way they’ll leave you alone. Bullies don’t respond to politeness.

3. Bullies only respond to strength.

Bullies do not understand reason. They don’t respond to diplomacy. Therefore, you cannot handle them with kid gloves.

There are no nice ways to handle them. And you cannot be afraid to set boundaries. Bullies only see niceties, pleasantries, and politeness as weaknesses to exploit and manipulate.

Instead, you must communicate with your bullies in the only language they understand. You must meet them exactly where they are.

And when you set boundaries, you must mean it.  You’ve got to do it firmly and bluntly.

Self-Preservation:

Don’t only set boundaries, enforce them.

You cannot just set boundaries and expect your bullies to respect them. You must also enforce those boundaries with consequences if they cross the line.

Why? Because bullies see boundaries as a challenge. And you can best believe they will rise to that challenge.

They will violate your newly established boundaries. And they’ll do it to dare you and prove to you that they can.

When you enforce your boundaries, make sure that the consequences are severe enough to make them stop! They must be so severe that your bullies won’t even want to look in your direction again.

This is how you earn respect!

You must quickly speak from a position of strength.

I can’t stress this enough. Niceness doesn’t work with bullies.

So, unleash hellfire! Put the fear of God in them! Think Hiroshima and Nagasaki after the Pearl Harbor attack. Japan never attacked us again afterward.

As a result, we eventually won their respect, and they became one of our closest friends. And we continue to be friends with Japan today.

Here it is, in a nutshell. When you’re dealing with bullies, it’s either put up or shut up.

Also, prepare for the bullying to get worse before it gets better. Why? Because bullies always fight the hardest when they know they’re losing control.

Therefore, don’t give up. Stick to your guns. And know that after you severely beat and humiliate your bullies enough times, they’ll get the message.

Then, they’ll give up and find another chump to jerk around.

Self-Preservation:

You must Meet your bullies where they are.

“What does this mean?” You may ask. It means that, if they’re dogging you out, return the behavior.

Put simply, when a bully is in your face, they will go no-holds-barred. Therefore, you can’t afford to be nice about it. There is no being polite.

Also, there is no such thing as being quiet, because a bully will take your silence as fear.

Again, never try to handle a bully politely. You must speak to the bully the way they speak to you. Be rude, but don’t yell, even if they’re screaming at you.

You can raise your voice. But there’s a difference between raising your voice and yelling. The former means speaking in a tone of power. The latter, on the other hand, means you’re losing control.

For example, the bully is in your personal space, and they’re cursing you out. That’s when you put your hand out like a traffic cop. Then, you tell them in no uncertain terms to get the hell out of your face.

In Conclusion

Self-preservation isn’t only necessary, it’s a right!

Targets of school bullying get suspended or expelled when they defend themselves. It happens all the time. After months or years of being mercilessly bullied, you grow tired of all the BS.

You’ve tried handling it diplomatically. However, bullies only took you for being a wuss and increased the attacks.

But when you speak from a place of strength, they’ll eventually get the memo. It may take a while, but they will. I’ve seen it happen.

Realize that you have the same rights as anyone else. And you have the right to self-preservation, even if you have to get just as ugly as your bullies.

So, don’t be afraid to put your bitch-face on when the situation calls for it. Sometimes, you have to kick a little. No apologies and no explanations.

This post was all about self-preservation to let you know that it’s only to get tough when bullies kept testing you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. What Doesn’t Work with Bullies: 10 Reactions to Stop Right Now

2.  How to Stop Over-Explaining: 9 Powerful Mind-Hacks You Can Use

3. Self-Preservation Instinct: Defending Yourself from Bullies is Okay!

4. Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

5. What to Say Instead of Sorry: 5 Powerful Responses