safe targets for bullies

Safe Targets: 17 Signs You’re “Safe” to Bully and What You Can Do

Did you know that some victims seem to be “safe targets” for bullies? Have you ever noticed that abusers can harm some people without consequences? Are you one of them? Here are all the signs that you’re in danger, along with what you can do to escape the situation.

safe targets

Have you ever noticed that some victims are easy targets for bullying? Do you suspect that you might fall into this category?

In this post, you will learn all the signs that you may be a safe target. You can also learn what you can do to overcome.

Once you learn these crucial details, you will no longer have any doubts, and you will be inspired to take steps to ensure your safety.

This post is all about the signs that you’re one of the safe targets and what to do about it so that you can finally begin living your life in peace.

Safe Targets

When the bullying reaches this point, that’s when things can get dangerous! People others deem safe to abuse are in danger because you never know when they will take the violence too far.

Targets have been murdered in situations like this. I’ve read about several of these killings in the news, and most of them have happened in school. Even worse, many of the killers have either been acquitted or received a slap on the wrist.

Why? Because they were minors. Therefore, at best, they may serve for as little as five years. It’s absolutely sickening.

What are the signs of safe targets?

Here are all the warning signs that you need to be aware of.

1. Ruined reputation and social isolation.

Loners are safe targets because they have no friends. If you have no friends, you have no support.

And when you have no support, there’s no risk of people backing you up against a bully. Therefore, bullies will know it’s safe to bully you.

And don’t think they won’t take full advantage! When no one likes you, you’re a sitting duck.

2. You have low self-esteem.

When you have low self-esteem, it shows. It’s evident in the way you walk, stand, or sit. And you have poor posture.

In other words, you slouch in your chair when you sit. You hunch when you stand. Your shoulders are rounded forward.

Instead of walking with purpose, you stroll like you have no direction. And you don’t swing your arms when you walk.

Your head is tilted downward, and you avoid eye contact.

This signals low self-esteem, and it attracts bullies. Why? Because someone with low self-esteem likely won’t fight back.

Safe Targets:

3. The bullying worsens.

When bullies think they can get away with bullying you, they’ll push their limits. And they’ll do it little by little.

For instance, they start with subtle insults. Then, they resort to calling you names. Pushes and shoves turn into punches and kicks.

With time, the bullies bully you more openly.

4. The bullying becomes a ritual.

When bullies discover that you’re a safe target to bully, there’s no incentive to stop. Then, the abuse becomes a habit they can’t seem to break.

5. Bullies bully you openly.

They don’t even try to hide it. Safe targets often suffer direct bullying. Why? Because if you’re safe, there’s no reason to hide it. In fact, bullies want other people to see them.

That way, they can show off.

“Look at me! I’m more powerful! Look at this loser, he’s weak!”

6. Bystanders ignore it and do nothing.

When bystanders ignore bullying and do nothing, they become just as bad as the bullies. There are many reasons bystanders don’t do anything about bullying.

Maybe they’re scared of becoming the next target.

It could be that they don’t like you and they think you deserve to be bullied. Also, the bullies could be their proxies.

In other words, your bullies are doing what they wish they had the balls to do.

Safe Targets:

7. Bystanders enjoy watching it.

When bullies bully you in front of an audience, you may hear laughing and giggling in the background. Most bystanders think it’s funny to watch someone get “schooled”.

However, it isn’t so funny to you. And they wouldn’t think so either, if they were the ones being bullied in public.

Bystanders may point and stare. Or they may giggle. But they do it because they’re getting their kicks at your expense.

And they’ll talk about it too.  Therefore, they will whisper and gossip about the bullying incident to everyone who will listen.

They will say things like, “Katie got her ass kicked in the bathroom yesterday! I mean, she got her shit rocked!”

Here are other statements bystanders who hate you might make after bullies publicly attack you.

  • “I don’t feel sorry for the bitch! She got what she deserved, and I hope she gets more of it!”
  • “April said she’s going to kick Carla’s ass, and I hope I’m around to see it go down!”

Several bystanders may come to you and tell you that your bully is gunning for you. Here’s what they may say to you.

  • “You’ve got several people who are looking for you, and when they find you, they’re going to kick your butt.”
  • “You’d better hope Sheila doesn’t run into you because she’s got a bone to pick with you.”

Make no mistake! When bystanders come and tell you these things, they’re not doing it out of concern. They’re doing it to instill fear.

Safe Targets:

8. Bystanders egg it on.

They egg it on by playing messenger. Many bystanders might run to you and bait you into saying something bad about your bullies.

If you take the bait, they will report everything you told them back to your bullies. Also, they may embellish or add to what you said, making it worse.

They may then come back to you with how your bullies responded to get you to divulge more. And they will do this several times over.

If nothing else, know this! They’re trying to get a fight started so they can watch. Then, they can go brag about it later.

9. Bystanders join in.

This is called the “Swarm Effect” or “Pile-On Effect.” When bystanders see bullies bullying you and getting away with it, they may want a piece of the action.

So, they hop on the bandwagon. When your bullies get in your face, many bystanders may join them in tormenting you.

When the bullies accuse you of something, they might tell them that they saw you do it or heard you say it. Or they may follow the bullies’ lead when they call you names and insult you. They may call you ugly names, too.

Again, these bystanders are no better than you, bullies. In fact, they’re worse. Why? Because they don’t have the guts to confront you unless your bullies do it first.

10. They hold you to double standards.

In simplest terms, you’re not supposed to do it. But it’s different when they do it.

Safe Targets:

11. Selective outrage.

Others may get pissed off at you for defending yourself. 

For example, your bullies approach you in the parking lot and try to provoke you. In fact, they’ve been giving you hell for a long time now, and you’re sick of it.

When one of your bullies hits you first, that’s the last straw. You immediately sock him in the nose, then commence to beating the mess out of him in front of everyone.

All of a sudden, everyone is outraged, not at the bully who started it, but at you for defending yourself. But where was their outrage when they were starting shit with you?

Also, people may retaliate if you defend yourself.

For instance, you may beat the crap out of one bully. Then they set you up to be attacked by a bigger bully.

They may lie to the bigger bully, telling them that you are trying to get with his girl. Or they may tell them that you said something bad about him.

Whatever they do, they do it because they hate you for sweeping the floor with their “hero.” Therefore, they’re going to pay you back by getting a bigger bully to attack you.

Safe Targets:

12. Authority allows it.

Authority figures like teachers and school staff will do nothing if a bully physically attacks you. They’ll ignore and keep going. Or, they may stand back and watch.

If they stand around and watch, they may enjoy seeing you get beaten. Whatever the situation, the bullies don’t face accountability. Therefore, you’re safe to bully.

13. Bullies get away with it.

The school or workplace refuses to hold the bullies accountable. Maybe they like them more than they do you. Or maybe they secretly can’t stomach the sight of you.

Therefore, they let the bullies off scot-free.

14. Everyone blames you for the abuse you suffer.

You’re the target. But if you speak out about the bullying, everyone else blames you for it. They may accuse you of provoking it. They may say things like:

“If you weren’t so annoying, Steve wouldn’t have hit you.” Or, “If you’d just keep your mouth shut, people wouldn’t want to kick your butt.”

But your behavior isn’t the issue. Theirs is. Only they won’t admit that.

Safe Targets:

15. They attach ulterior motives to any good you do.

Everyone will accuse you of doing good for your own selfish purposes. For instance, if you do a good deed, you only did it to score brownie points.

If you’re friendly, you’re sucking up. If you make a good grade, you’re trying to impress the teacher. And, if you did well on a work project, you’re trying to get on the boss’s good side.

In fact, they scrutinize anything positive.

16. They demonize you to newcomers.

Bullies will “warn” any new people about you. However, what they’re doing is part of their strategy.

They’re making a preemptive strike. They discourage the new people from associating with you before they have a chance to meet you. Therefore, they kill any chance of you making friends with them.

17. They downplay your talents or successes.

Talent improves your chances of success. And success is power. It gets you noticed. Therefore, if you have a talent, your bullies will minimize it.

And if you reach success in something, they’ll pee all over it. Or, they may attack it.

For instance, if you win a singing contest, the bullies may say that you slept with one of the judges.

What You Can Do

This may be difficult. However, the best thing to do is to leave the environment. Go somewhere you have no history. There, you’ll be among people who don’t see you as a whipping boy.

Then you can make a fresh start with a clean slate. You can put your best foot forward. And you can make friends.

In Conclusion

If you’re a safe target, your bullies have destroyed your reputation. And if your reputation has been damaged, bystanders won’t help you, and neither will authority figures.

If anything, they’ll likely side with the bullies. Then, everyone will bully you because they know they won’t get into trouble for it.

Why? Because other people get mad at you if you defend yourself. Therefore, it’s safe to bully you.

Again, the best recourse here is to find a way to leave the environment. It’s the only way to take your power back and live in peace.

This post was all about the signs of safe targets and WHAT you can do to take back your peace and your power.

Related post you’ll enjoy:

1. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids!

2.  When Bystanders Become Bullies: 11 Behaviors of Bully-Supporters

3. Pack Mentality: All About Group Bullying

4. Facts About Selective Outrage: 13 Truths You Need to Know

5. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

bullying and school performance reddit

Bullying and School Performance: 3 Ways Bullying Effects Grades

Want to know about bullying and school performance? Do you realize how bullying affects victims’ grades? Here are three effects you need to know about.

bullying and school performance

Photos by dreamstime

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bullying can have a devastating effect on grades and class performance. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and its impact on school performance, giving you another reason to help your child overcome it.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be more compelled to assist your child and keep track of their grades.

This post is all about bullying and school performance, so that you not only protect your child’s mental health, but also their future.

Bullying and School Performance

Anytime you are a victim of bullying, it puts your mind on high alert. Safety takes priority over lessons.

How can you concentrate on schoolwork when you’re constantly under threat? Sadly, you can’t. No one can learn when they’re stuck in survival mode.

Why does bullying cause your grades to drop?

I experienced it firsthand. In the school where I was bullied, my grades sucked.

After I transferred to my new school, my grades skyrocketed. I made Cs and Ds at the old school. But in my new school, I made all As and one B on the first report card.

And, for the first time in six years, I made the honor roll. I can’t tell you just how proud I was! Here’s why your grades plummet when you’re being bullied.

1. YOUR brain lives in survival mode.

Survival mode shuts down the brain’s learning center. It’s almost impossible to learn anything in school.

You see? When you’re in fight-or-flight mode for an extended period, it affects certain parts of the brain. The areas responsible for memory, emotional regulation, and relationships will weaken.

Therefore, is it any wonder that victims of bullying have such poor marks and class performance?

2. You stop believing in yourself.

When others bully you, they likely tell you:

  • “You’ll never amount to anything.”
  • “You’re worthless.”
  • “You’re hopeless.”

And, they make so many other depreciating comments. Moreover, they repeat the same thing a thousand times over. After so long, you start to believe them if you aren’t careful.

This is how you develop a condition known as “Learned Helplessness.” And soon, you stop trying. That’s when your grades start to fall.

Bullying and School PERFORMANCE:

It also stunts your social development.

In life, you don’t only need academic skills, you also need social skills.

Social intelligence will always supersede book-smarts. It will get you much further than college degrees alone.

This is the reason high school dropouts become millionaires. It’s also why many college graduates are flipping burgers at McDonald’s.

Social skills are the most important assets you can have. Those who are great with people earn the highest incomes.

Social skills matter more than a good education.

For a long time, everyone thought that charisma was the one skill you couldn’t teach. You were either born with it, or you weren’t. And if you weren’t, there was nothing you could do to change it.

Thankfully, we know better today.

Bullying and School Performance:

Self-Esteem matters.

Bullies can batter your self-esteem into oblivion if you let them. As a result, you’ll withdraw from the rest of the world.

You’ll become afraid of other people. Even worse, you’ll soon start believing that you’re inferior to everyone else. And you’ll avoid social situations.

Moreover, you’ll begin to live inside your own head. You will create a fantasy world. Then, you’ll shut out the “real world” and live there.

This is not good. Why? Because you stop watching others and the world around you. As a result, you stop learning the social cues you need to nurture relationships. Thus, you won’t be able to create a good life for yourself.

Before long, you’ll become socially awkward.

Instead, you’ll look right through people rather than smile and say “hello.” Moreover, you’ll look spaced out or sullen. Even worse, you’ll feel emotionally numb.

You must protect your self-esteem as you would your life.

This is why you must protect your self-esteem. How do you do this? You do it by keeping your heart open. Never miss the opportunity to meet new people. This is how you make friends.

Therefore, create positive interactions and experiences. And do it even if you must go outside the bullying environment. Do what you must do to keep your self-esteem intact.

Bullying and School Performance:

Flowers Can’t Grow and Bloom Without Sunlight.

Therefore, you can’t flourish in misery. Bullying fills you with self-doubt. As a result, it kills your dreams. How can you believe in yourself when toxic people constantly shower you with abuse?

When all you get are insults, you become exhausted. It drains you of positivity until it depletes you of it. You begin seeing yourself through the eyes of your bullies.

Then, you give up on yourself. And, when others look at you, they see someone who’s slow and lackluster. And teachers will think you’re a lazy student.

When you suffer bullying, you’re like a flower that gets nothing but rain. Like the flower, you don’t grow and develop properly.

Again, when you’re bullied, you’re on guard 24/7. Why? Because you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.

What happens is you lose your happiness. You lose confidence. Moreover, you lost sight of your goals. In short, you allow your bullies to turn you into someone you don’t even recognize anymore.

Bullies TAKE the joy out of life.

Instead of concentrating on your studies, you daydream about escaping. If there is no escape route available, you feel stuck. Then, you isolate yourself and become a recluse.

You retreat into your own little fantasy world because it just feels safer.

As a result, you stop observing life around you. And you stop learning the lessons it’s trying to teach you. All the while, the bullying only gets worse.

Why? Because those around you know that you’re living inside your head. And they ridicule you for it.

Those who don’t know you may mistake you for being lazy or slow. However, it only causes you to retreat further inside yourself.  And the bullying only gets worse.

This is a vicious cycle, and it is no way to live!

Bullying and School Performance:

I’ve Been There.

I understand how you feel. And I understand why. Just as flowers can’t grow without sunlight, you can’t grow without positivity.

Flowers need a good balance of rain and sunlight. Humans need a good balance of positivity and negativity. They cannot survive on just one or the other.

Too much negativity stunts your psychological growth. Then, your happiness, confidence, and dreams will die. Too much positivity, and you lose touch with the real world.

Then, you become arrogant and tyrannical! There has to be a healthy balance between the two before you can grow.

Stop giving your bullies value they don’t deserve.

Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying, never accept what bullies try to cram down your throat. I want you to realize that they don’t matter.

They may claim to know you better than you know yourself. However, nobody can possibly know you like that. And anyone who tells you otherwise is lying through their teeth.

Understand that bullies want you to be as miserable as they are. Stay away from them. They aren’t worth your time or energy. Only keep company with those who love you and uplift you!

Remember that there’s always hope. You’re worth much more than what your bullies say you are. Never let bullies destroy what matters most.

And that’s your self-love, self-respect, confidence, and sense of pride. Those things are yours. They’re not for anyone else to have!

Practice self-care. And, if at all possible, remove yourself from the bullying environment. Go to a new place where you can grow and flourish. Go where you can make friends and be not only accepted, but celebrated!

Be your own best friend. Be your own hero. Be your own sunlight! Keep company with people who let you shine and the sun shine on you!

Bullying and School Performance:

Once you move to a healthier environment, your Grades will skyrocket!

If a plant is wilting, you don’t change the plant; you change its environment. Therefore, when you change your environment, your grades can only go up!

In a new school, you get a second chance. You will have no history with your new classmates. Therefore, you can get a fresh start with a clean slate. You can make friends out of your new peers and teachers.

And when you do, you will have more confidence than you ever thought possible. Then, watch your grades go through the roof! It happened for me. And it will for you too!

In conclusion

Sometimes, your environment can determine whether you succeed or fail.

School bullying can wreak havoc on your mental health. In that, it can destroy your grades. However, once you transfer to a new school, your marks can only go up!

This post is all about bullying and school performance so that you’ll know how bullies can affect your grades. This will encourage you to ask for a transfer if things get unbearable. 

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Self-Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

2. The Impacts of Bullying: 10 Negative Outcomes on Victims

3. Culture of Bullying in Schools: Why Schools Lose Money

4. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

5. Bullying by Teachers in School: 7 Steps to Protect Yourself

bullying investigation

Bullying Investigation: 6 Sources of Evidence that Proves Bullying

Have you ever wondered what you must have for a bullying investigation? Here are the kinds of evidence you’ll need if you report that you’re being bullied.

bullying investigation

If you’re a victim of bullying, you’ve probably thought about reporting it to the higher-ups. Most schools and workplaces have anti-bullying policies. Sadly, these policies have no teeth.

 Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the things you need for a bullying investigation so that you can gather the right evidence and prove your case.

Once you learn all these crucial details, you will be better able to take action against your bullies and win.

This post is all about the ingredients of a good bullying investigation, so you’ll have the materials you need to come out on top.

Bullying Investigation

Any time there’s a case of bullying, schools and companies usually say they’ll conduct an investigation and get back with you. However, most investigations never happen.

Most school officials and workplace managers don’t want the hassle. Therefore, they make promises they don’t keep.

Anti-Bullying policies don’t work.

Many schools and workplaces have policies against bullying. However, unless they enforce those policies, they might as well have none at all.

Here are the reasons that anti-bullying policies rarely work.

1. Most institutions only make these policies to look good.

Most institutions today have policies against bullying. However, it’s only because they’re required by the government. These guidelines are only for decoration.

In fact, these entities have had anti-bullying policies for at least a decade. Yet, cases of bullying continue to rise exponentially. Moreover, schools and workplaces continue to ignore it.

Schools sweep incidents under the rug. They also refuse to allow victims’ parents to see any surveillance footage of bullying attacks.

Schools sometimes blame the victim and take revenge against parents who fight for their child. And workplaces usually blame the victim rather than discipline the bullies.

Therefore, the only reason these policies exist is to make the institution look good.

Bullying Investigation:

2. People in authority don’t enforce them.

Remember that authority usually sides with power.

In other words, teachers and school staff may take the bully’s side because the bully has more power. Workplaces do the same thing.

They think it’s easier to blame victims. Realize that it isn’t about protecting victims. It’s about making the problem go away.

And how they make the problem go away is by silencing victims. This is wrong.

Therefore, you had better have the right evidence on hand if you expect to come out of any bullying investigation the winner. So, what types of evidence do you need? Check out the list below.

Sources of Evidence that PROVE Bullying

1. Documentation.

If you want to gather evidence that people are bullying you at school or at work, writing about it can be the first step to making a record of the attacks.

If you’re a victim of bullying, it can have long-term, devastating effects on your life. Sadly, school officials, corporate managers, parents, and even law enforcement still can’t fully comprehend the daily torment victims endure.

This is why documenting the bullying is the best thing you can do. It is your responsibility to gather evidence that your classmates or coworkers are bullying you. Why do I say this?

Because chances are that no one is coming to rescue you. Even if you report bullying to school staff or HR, they likely won’t help you. In fact, they may hurt you in the long run. Why?

Although they may be in a position to help you, it doesn’t mean they will. They will only have their own interests in mind. Therefore, you must do your own investigation.

Again, the responsibility is on you. No one else! Where victims of bullying mess up is when they rely on others to investigate bullying. This is a grave mistake!

Moreover, if you’re a teenager being bullied by a teacher at your high school, you especially need to document it! In other words, keep a log of the bullying. You do this by keeping a bullying journal.

Bullying Investigation:

Why Document Bullying?

Bullying, especially the psychological and emotional kind, is difficult to prove. People in authority who are in a position to help you may not want to help you. 

Therefore, you must document everything. Here’s why.

  • Bullying is hard to prove.
  • Bullies are experts at making you look like the bad guy.
  • They use their physical appearance.
  • They weaponize your reaction to their abuse.
  • They play the victim.
  • Most Schools and Workplaces Protect Bullies.
  • It Gives You Evidence to present in court or tribunals
  • It establishes a pattern.
  • And it gives you a voice.
  • It makes your story more credible.
  • It’s good therapy for you.

The school or company may tell you that they’ll investigate the bullying. But they likely won’t. If they do an investigation, they’ll do it to keep their own asses out of hot water, not to protect you.

Therefore, you must be your own detective and build your own case. Keeping a bullying journal is one way to do this.

Do’s and Dont’s of documentation

 When you document bullying in your journal, you must think about the quality of the information. 

  • Don’t be Vague.
  • Stick to the facts.
  • Use the 5W Rule (what, who, when, where, why, and sometimes How). 

There is a right and wrong way to document bullying. Therefore, we’ll talk about the right way first. The best way to document is to use the 5W Method.

Bullying Investigation:

How to Document Bullying:

Here’s what to include, using the 5W Rule.

  • What – what happened.
  • Who – who the bullies are. Also, include who the bystanders are.
  • When – write the date and exact time of the bullying incident.
  • Where – where it happened, school bathroom, workplace parking lot, etc.
  • Why – if you know the reason, include that.

You can also write down how.

2. recordings.

You can use a hidden body camera or a digital recorder. You can use both, if you prefer. However, here’s a word of caution. You must become familiar with your state’s laws on recordings.

Some states have a one-party consent rule, and others have a two-party consent rule. If you live in a one-party consent state, using recordings to gather evidence is illegal.  And it could easily backfire on you.

On the other hand, if you live in a two-party consent state, you are free to record. Therefore, consider wearing a hidden body camera or carrying a digital voice recorder to work.

But read the company’s policy first. Some companies have clauses that prevent recordings on their property.

Bullying Investigation:

3. Electronic Evidence: Screenshots, saved emails, and saved messages.

Take screenshots of any company email exchanges you had with your bully. However, your company likely has software that monitors the entire network. In other words, they will be watching you.

Moreover, they will have a keylogger that records every keystroke you make. So if you use the company computer to take screenshots, they’ll know.

Therefore, use your phone to photograph the email exchanges. When you do it this way, you won’t blow your cover and will keep your investigation secret.

If bullies bully you at work, there’s a good chance they’ll stalk your social media pages, get your email address, and bully you online too.

Therefore, save everything on three or more different flash drives. Then, keep each flash drive in a different place. The trick is to take precautions in case someone associated with your bullies breaks into your house to do a little snooping.

If your workplace bully sends you a mean or threatening text, save it. The more evidence you gather, the more you build your case. Therefore, the more likely you are to get justice.

4. Pictures of physical bruises.

If your bully physically attacks you, you must have evidence that supports your claim. Therefore, take pictures of any bruises, scrapes, or cuts.

Bullying Investigation:

5. Medical documents.

If a bully does bodily harm and you need medical attention, it’s best to get copies of the hospital records for court. Hospital records and medical bills provide proof of physical bullying and will compel the courts to award money for damages.

6. psychiatric records.

Like medical records, psychiatric records serve the same purpose. They prove mental stress and can get you money for that.

Bullying Investigation:

In Closing

When you’re being bullied, it’s not the time to be lazy. You must cover your own butt. So, do what you must do to gather evidence of bullying and build your case.

Remember. Nobody can watch your ass but you.

This post is all about The types of evidence you need for a bullying investigation and Why you should gather your own evidence.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying Evidence: 5 Smart Ways to Get Evidence of Bullying

2. How to Prove Workplace Bullying: 3 Types of Proof You Need

3. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

4. How to Respond to Darvo: 7 Powerful Ways to Shut it Down

5. Bullying Journal: 8 Reasons You Should Keep One

6. How to Document Bullying: 5 Things to Record in Your Journal