‘Want to know what happens when you begin asserting boundaries? Here are both the pros and cons of establishing your boundaries.

Asserting boundaries is so important, and if you’re anything like I was at one time, too scared to do it. Then you’re probably wondering what encourages others to stand up for themselves.

As someone who has overcome the fear of establishing personal limits, I’m giving you all the reasons why you should. Also, I’m warning you about all that will happen if you don’t.

You will learn about the importance of asserting boundaries. Moreover, you’re going to learn about the positive and negative results of doing so.

Once you learn about all these things, you will be more encouraged and motivated to assert your rights not to be abused. Also, you will be more emboldened to stand your ground for as long as it takes until you are finally free of bullies and abusers.

This post is all about asserting boundaries so that you can take back your personal power and live in peace and happiness.

Asserting boundaries

Here’s how the pros outweigh the cons:

People will accuse you of having “An Attitude”

When you begin to set boundaries, abusive people will accuse you of having “an attitude.” This is what will happen once you finally take enough abuse and put your foot down.

And you should expect it.

Understand that you will get that response when you say no to something you don’t like. Moreover, people will say the same any time you refuse to take abuse.

Therefore, it’s better to accept, even embrace this reality.

For example, toxic teachers will call you insubordinate. Abusive managers and supervisors will tell you that you’re not a team player.

Bullying peers will see you as a ‘difficult’ person to be around. And that’s only a mild version of what they may call you.

Asserting boundaries helps you separate real friends from the fakes.

Understand that anytime you enforce your boundaries and standards, you threaten their power. Furthermore, it’s how you expose the manipulative people in your life.

You begin to see them more clearly. Why? Because you force them to tell off on themselves through their reactions.

By having boundaries, you can tell the difference between real friends and fake ones. You can see which people are truly for you and value your friendship.

And you find out which ones are only in your life because they want something from you. This is one of the most important pros!

bullies and abusers feel they have carte blanche to abuse you

Like all abusers, bullies feel entitled to devalue you. Therefore, they expect you to “just go with the flow” and not object to it.

To these types, your healthy boundaries and standards are an insult. Why? Because they don’t recognize limits.

In their minds, anything goes. The world and everything in it is one big free-for-all. In other words, any rules, laws, or limits don’t apply to them.

Bullies and frenemies believe they should have free rein to treat you any way they choose. And they get offended when you finally have the courage to put your foot down.

So, accept that you will lose people you think are friends. And they will often be the people you’d never expect.

But realize that their attitudes are their only recourse. Bullies can’t handle a person of incredible strength because they can never meet them on their level. These are only a few of the cons.

setting limits allows you growth, safety, and freedom

You cannot grow, be safe, or be free if you don’t set boundaries. In many cases, people go out of their way to prevent you from imposing any limits.

It seems that boundaries and standards are okay for anyone else. But they’re strictly prohibited for you.

Realize that you cannot continue to live your life as a doormat. Therefore,  you must dig deep and pull out the courage to establish your boundaries, which include,

Physical boundaries

Psychological boundaries

Time boundaries

Material boundaries

Intellectual boundaries

Sometimes you must “Cop an Attitude” to defend your rights.

You are a flesh-and-blood human being who has rights! And sometimes, you must “cop an attitude” to defend those rights.

You must enforce boundaries from relentless bullies who won’t take no for an answer. Also, you must set consequences for those who continue after you’ve told them to stop it.

When you set firm boundaries and standards and enforce them, you protect your physical well-being. You also save your emotional health from anyone who seeks to destroy it.

Moreover, you make yourself an individual who asserts your right to make your own choices. Your boundaries are the invisible fortress that surrounds you with protection. They keep you safe from harm.

When you set boundaries, you don’t allow others to take advantage of you. You refuse to be a pushover.

In other words, you won’t do things that aren’t in line with your goals, values, morals, or convictions. In short, you don’t allow others to manipulate you.

And it requires that you call out anyone who tries to stick so much as a toe over those boundaries.

Be Assertive but not aggressive. Be strong but not overbearing.

You’re assertive but not overly aggressive. You’re strong but not overbearing. When you say no, you mean it. And you say it without feeling guilty for not saying yes.

When you do say yes to others, you can do it without saying no to yourself.

Sadly, it can be hard to set boundaries, especially when dealing with bullies who have anger issues. Our first instinct is to protect ourselves in any way we can. And we do it even if it means appeasing these people to ensure our safety.

Many targets have zero boundaries. They feel that, to keep bullies from harming them, they should make sure they feel comfortable and at ease. But you don’t have to live this way!

Assertiveness builds courage and, with it, your self-esteem.

Not asserting boundaries works only temporarily because bullies and abusers always come back for more.

Many targets don’t feel strong enough to keep invaders out of their bubble. And it’s because of this that they don’t stand up to their abusers. As a result, they end up letting themselves down.

They feel like failures when they’re unable to enforce their boundaries. I’ve been there and, let me tell ya! It’s the worst feeling in the world.

I want you to understand that, no matter how others may act, it’s okay to refuse their disrespect. It’s okay to say no to bullying.

 Know that you owe it to yourself to say stop. You don’t have to let others invade your space. You have every right to prevent others from disrupting your peace.

Know that you deserve a seat at the table of life, not one in the corner. Setting boundaries and standards is not having an“attitude.” It’s your right!

Toxic people will put up a ton of resistance to any limitations you set. Take this as a given! The upside is that the resistance you get will tell you who your real friends are. And who they aren’t.

Resistance is so telling! It can help you find out who’s really In your corner and who ISN’T.

It’s never smart to be a yes-person. Caring about others is great, but caring too much is unhealthy.

You need boundaries and standards because without them, you end up living your life on autopilot. Put simply, you’re a car without a steering wheel- a ship without a rudder!

But with boundaries, you have a rudder, and you can chart your life’s course. The winds and currents may change, and the waters might get rough. You may even go off course, but you’ll still have some degree of direction.

In setting boundaries and standards, you’re not completely powerless. You have some say over your destiny.

That’s why it’s crucial that you stand in your power. Never lower yourself and make yourself less than the awesome person you are. Never settle for less than what you deserve.

Put yourself first. Stop being a people pleaser. Stop putting your wants and needs on the back burner to keep others satisfied. Practice self-love and self-care.

Accept that people won’t handle it well. And be willing to let them go because they don’t deserve a seat at your table.

Once you do, you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how much better life gets. And you’ll be amazed at how many people of quality and integrity come into your life.

This post was all about pros and cons of asserting boundaries and how doing so can help you take back your personal power and your say in your life’s direction.

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