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25 Gaslighting Phrases Bullies Use to Dominate and Control You

Want to know 25 gaslighting phrases bullies use to control you? Here are the twenty-five most common manipulative statements you need to know.

25 gaslighting phrases

Photo from Canva

It’s funny how protecting yourself from bullies can be twisted into over-sensitivity, paranoia, vindictiveness, or vengefulness. But that’s exactly what bullies, or, in this case, gaslighters, are good for.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn 25 gaslighting phrases bullies use to control you. Once you learn all these phrases, you will be ready to respond confidently the next time a bully tries to gaslight you.

This post will give you 25 Gaslighting phrases you need to know to prepare you, so you can respond to gaslighters calmly and effectively.

25 Gaslighting Phrases

When bullying progresses to a point where you have to wear a body camera to work or school, that’s when you know without a doubt you’re being gaslighted. So, it’s most important that you trust those feelings.

And sometimes, things get so out of control that you may need to wear a body camera. And when you do, make sure you catch it raw and unfiltered.

Also, be sure no one, not even your best friend, knows you’re wearing it. Why? Because if anyone finds out, you risk retaliation. Moreover, they may destroy your evidence.

But realize that once the evidence is out, whether it comes out in court, your bullies will realize they’ve been busted. Then, they will continue to gaslight you, especially to others. They’ll accuse you of being sneaky, shady, scandalous, or unstable.

However, to catch gaslighting early on, before you ever have to wear a body camera, you must know as many gaslighting phrases as possible. Here are the 25 most common.

1. “You’re too sensitive.”

Bullies tell you this to make you feel like a wimp. They know that if they can make you look like a crybaby, they can shame you into shutting up.

Moreover, they can take the spotlight off their behavior and shine it on your reaction to it. And sadly, it works like a charm.

25 Gaslighting Phrases:

2. “You’re making something out of nothing.”

This phrase has the same goal as the first one. Bullies use your reaction to their abuse to cover up their behavior that provoked it.

If they can make your reaction seem over the top, they can shift the negative attention to you. Moreover, they can shut you up.

3. “I never said that.”

Bullies gaslight you with this statement to make you look dishonest. When they deny something they know they said, those who didn’t hear might look at you as if you’re telling lies about them.

Therefore, denials are meant to make you out to be a liar.

4. “Are you sure you’re remembering things correctly?”

This is a big one here. Bullies will often question your memory of events. However, it isn’t because they wonder if you’re having trouble with it.

Bullies know good and well that you can remember just fine. But they’re trying to make those around you think you have a poor memory.

You see? If others doubt your memory, you come across as not knowing what you’re talking about. And the bully looks innocent.

25 Gaslighting Phrases:

5. “I’m not angry. If I were angry, you’d know it.”

Like some of the other phrases, this one does several things at once. It helps them avoid accountability and shuts you down by making you look dramatic. It’s also meant to intimidate you.

Think about the last part of that phrase. “If I were angry, you’d know it.”  They’re saying that what they did was tame compared to what they could do to you. So, you’d better watch out.

6. “It’s your fault.”

When someone gaslights you with this, they’re justifying their behavior. And they’re doing it by claiming that you did something to provoke it.

25 Gaslighting Phrases:

7. “You bring it all on yourself.”

Just like the last phrase, this one says that their abuse is your fault. In other words, they blame you for their bad behavior.

Moreover, they imply that you deserve it, so you should just stand there and take it. Why

8. “If you hadn’t done this then I wouldn’t have done that.”

Same thing, different words. This phrase takes the blame off the bully and shifts it over to you. In other words, the bully is blaming you for their behavior. And you should take it because you deserve it.

This is how so many bullies get away with abuse.

25 Gaslighting Phrases:

9. “You made me do it.”

This is a classic gaslighting phrase. “You made me hit you!” Again, this implies that you did something to provoke the behavior.

10. “You’re out of your mind.”

Bullies use this phrase to make you look unstable. And it works. Why? Because who’s going to take you seriously if you have a mental health issue?

11. “You’re mentally unstable.”

Same thing, different wording. However, most bullies tell you that you’re “crayzeee!” They don’t use the term “mentally unstable.”

12. “Nobody’s ever going to love you.”

Abusive partners gaslight you with this to discourage you from leaving them. However, if you’re currently enduring domestic abuse, your partner doesn’t love you.

He just wants to control you.

25 Gaslighting Phrases:

13. “You’re lucky I put up with you.”

Ha! Bullying partners love throwing this phrase around. They use this to blame you for their abuse. Moreover, they make themselves look like the victim.

By doing this, they make you feel guilty for defending yourself. And they make others believe that you are the cause of their behavior.

14. “This is why nobody likes you.”

Bullies at school use this gaslighting phrase all the time. This is another way of blaming you for the rotten things they do to you.

Moreover, they want to take your lack of friendship and rub it in your face.

15. “You’re being petty.”

In other words, they’re telling you that you’re being small-minded. It’s another form of victim-blaming.

25 Gaslighting Phrases:

16. “You’re making a mountain out of a molehill.”

In other words, they’re saying that you’re making it bigger than what it is. It’s their way of trivializing what they did and making your reaction to it seem over the top.

Don’t fall for it!

17. “You can’t take a joke.”

People use this statement when you stand up to cruel jokes. Therefore, when a bully gaslights you with this, you can respond with, “Jokes are supposed to be funny.”

18. “You’re insecure.”

This isn’t only victim-blaming; it’s projection. The bullies are the insecure ones. Otherwise, they wouldn’t feel the need to mistreat others.

19. “You’re jealous of me.”

Bullies use this phrase when you call them out on their behavior. “You’re just saying that because you’re jealous of my life.”

Right! What they’re really doing is trying to take the attention away from their evil deeds. Moreover, they’re trying to make you look inferior.

25 Gaslighting Phrases:

20. “It’s all in your mind.”

Bullies use this phrase a lot. And they do it to make themselves look innocent. By claiming that you’re only imagining their abuse, they make you look like a drama queen.

No one listens to drama queens except people who are just like them. And bullies know it.

21. “It’s just your imagination.”

Same message, different words. Bullies look innocent when their abuse is made to look imagined. Therefore, they make you look like you have paranoia.

25 Gaslighting Phrases:

22. “If you love me, you’ll do this.”

This is how women get duped into having sex before they’re ready. Manipulative and abusive partners and dates use this phrase to get what they want.

And they do it all the time.

23. “You’re not perfect either.”

This phrase isn’t as potent as the others. In fact, it’s pretty weak. But bullies still use it. I can tell you that I’ve had them use it on me. The good news is that it’s easy to blow off.

Why? Because no one is perfect. And you know that.

25 Gaslighting Phrases:

24. “It’s all in your head.”

This is number 20 and 21 repackaged. Bullies use this statement to make it look as if you’re imagining their abuse.

25. “I’m doing this for your own good.”

Bullies and people in power use them to guilt you into doing something that will be harmful to yourself. And they play on your empathy and love for humanity to do it.

The best way to combat this is to see these two phrases as sure signs of manipulation. And follow your instincts.

Moreover, question their motives. Try to figure out what would be in it for them if you complied. Also, think of what could go wrong if you complied.

Also beware the phrases “for the greater good” or “for the good of humanity.”

25 Gaslighting Phrases:

In Conclusion

Gaslighting happens everywhere – at home, at work, at school, everywhere. Realize that no matter how you do it, you absolutely must protect yourself. Doing so requires that you know gaslighting when you hear it or see it.

It also requires that you maintain your sense of self. And you must set boundaries. If you did not provoke these bullies, stand strong.

And never let them twist the facts and accuse you.

This post gave you a list of the 25 Gaslighting PHRASES You’ll likely hear when you’re being bullied so that you’ll be ready to defend yourself the next time it happens.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For

2.  Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

3. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

4. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways It Impacts Victims

5. How to Avoid Being Gaslighted: 5 Easy Tips to Protect Yourself

6. Bullying and Gaslighting: 7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

Mental Health Label: Why Bullies Use It on You

Attaching a mental health label to someone is the most evil form of bullying and gaslighting. Here are all the reasons bullies use it on you and how you can stand up to it.

mental health label

Photo from Getty Images

In this post, you will learn about the mental health label, why bullies use it, and what you can do to peel it off.

Once you learn all these tips and facts, you will be powerful enough to stand up to anyone who labels you.

This post is all about why people weaponize the mental health label and how you can stand up to it.

Mental Health Label

You don’t have to have a mental illness for bullies to label you with it. All it takes is for people to think you have one.

And they can target you for this kind of bullying. This is why the mental health label is such a clever label to pin on a person.

And think about this. They don’t bully you because you have a mental illness. They say you have a mental illness, so they can bully you.

Your bullies know that you’re probably just as sane as they are.  Therefore, when bullies label you as a nutcase, it doesn’t mean they actually think you are. It means they want everyone else to think you are.

So, keep that in mind.

Here’s something else to think about.

Remember that bullies are the biggest cowards. If they really and truly thought you were cuckoo, they wouldn’t mess with you at all.

In fact, they wouldn’t come near you. Instead, they would do everything they could to stay out of your way. They don’t want to risk poking the bear.

They’d be on their best behavior around you. Why? Because they know that if a person is, in fact, loony, that person could rip their heads off and shit down their necks.

In fact, the person could go postal and wipe them all out, then go home and eat a sandwich.
Anyone with any common sense knows to walk lightly around someone who’s batshit cr4zy. They’ll go out of their way to keep from setting that person off!

Here are the reasons why bullies stick you with the mental health label.

1. You won’t let them manipulate you.

If they can’t manipulate you, they’ll attack your mental health.

It’s the oldest and most used tactic in the book! My classmates were no different. Bullies will always come back with the mental health label when they can’t manipulate you.

That’s because their next step is to discredit you. Moreover, they want to control how others see you when they can no longer control you.

2. They see you as a threat.

When you threaten bullies, they become both desperate and afraid. Refusing to be bullied sends several messages. And these messages threaten the bullies’ power and sense of superiority.

  • It tells them that you see through their smokescreens.
  • It tells them that you’re not afraid to tell them to go kick rocks.
  • It tells them that you’re strong and intelligent, not weak and clueless.
  • It puts them in their place.
  • It tells them that they can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.
  • It tells them that you don’t give a crap about what they say or think about you.
  • It tells them you couldn’t care less about impressing them.
  • It tells them they don’t matter.
  • It says that you don’t value their insults.
  • It also says that you don’t let anyone else define you.

Understand that bullies have an over-inflated sense of their own importance. Therefore, they feel entitled.

Bullies despise it when you tell them “no.” And they loathe anyone who will not be controlled. And if they can’t manipulate you, they’ll manipulate your relationships and the way others perceive you.

Always remember that.

Mental Health Label

3. To discredit you.

Your bullies aren’t dimwits. They know that you’re likely to get fed up with their crap eventually. They figure that you’ll either report them or stand up to them.

So, they may launch preemptive attacks to wear you down. The goal is to push you too far and get you to explode. And if you do, you only prove everything they say.

And if everyone thinks you’re bonkers, who’s going to take you seriously when you report the bullying?

4. To make you afraid to stand up to them.

When you begin standing your ground or speaking out about the abuse, bullies use this tactic to keep you quiet. In that way, they can keep their reputations spotless.

If you know people think you’re cray-cray, chances are you’ll be too afraid to open your mouth. Why? Because you realize that people probably won’t believe you.

They will only accuse you of having paranoia. Moreover, you’ll also be too afraid to fight back.  Why? Because once a victim is labeled mentally unstable, it’s much easier for bullies to reverse roles and play victim.

When people think you’re a nut-bag, they’ll only assume that you had a mental break and went postal. And the bullies were only trying to protect themselves from getting hurt.

Or they may make it look like you threw a temper tantrum and started shouting and cursing at people. Moreover, they may think you did it for no reason. All because you’re just “mentally imbalanced.”

Mental Health Label:

5. Mental instability is the hardest to disprove

Sure. Mental instability is one of the hardest to prove. Indeed, your bullies can never prove you’re stark raving mad. However, there’s also no way that you can prove for certain that you aren’t.

This label is just too easy to pen on someone and make stick. It shouldn’t be this easy and so successful. But it is.

6. There’s nothing else they can pin on you.

The mental health label is the bullies’ option when there’s nothing left for them to pin on you. Think about it. If they try to label you a slut when you don’t sleep around, they’d end up looking ridiculous.

And if they call you a thief when you don’t steal, they’d also end up looking foolish. With the mental health label, there’s plausibility.

7. To make you doubt your own sanity.

And when bullies label you, they will repeat the same garbage a thousand times over. But no matter how many times they call you unhinged, don’t you believe it.

See it for what they’re trying to do. If everyone else starts believing you’ve lost your mind, let them. Just make sure they don’t cause you to believe it too.

Mental Health Label:

8. People tend to see the worst in others.

And bullies know it. So, they use this truth to try to destroy you. And sadly, the burden of proof is on you.

Again, it’s damn hard to prove that you aren’t mentally unstable, especially when bullies attack you from every direction and wear you down.

Bullies may provoke you to set you up.

It happens all the time. You walk down the school hallway when a bully pushes you to the floor. But no one sees it. The same thing happens again the next day and the day after.

After so long, you get fed up. And you know the bully will be waiting for you the next time you walk down that hall.

So, you decide to punch the bully in the face before he has a chance to push you down again. And the next morning, you take the same route and see your bully evilly smirking as he waits for you.

You punch him in the face and knock him to the floor. But when you do, someone sees you, and you get into trouble.

Or, maybe people walk in on you as you’re telling your bully where to stick it. They only catch the tail end of the confrontation. So, they draw the wrong conclusions.

Understand that this is what your bullies are counting on!!! Often, they provoke you just to set you up to look like you’ve completely lost it.

 If the bully can make you look loony, then who’s going to believe you when you report the harassment? And who’ll take you seriously the next time you let the bully have it?

They’ll only sigh and think, “Uh-oh! There they go again! They’re having another mental episode!

How to Stand UP to The Mental Health Label:

Your first step is to gain knowledge.

When Bullies Magically Become Board-Certified Shrinks

Isn’t it funny how quickly bullies can become board-certified shrinks? And they can do it overnight without reading a single word from a psychology textbook.

Bullies are legends in their own minds. However, they make themselves look dimwitted when they “diagnose” anyone they cannot manipulate.

This little phenomenon is called “pop-psych.” And, in all its entitlement (and embarrassment), it empowers bullies to conduct “remote analyses.”

All while holding little to no education in the field of Psychology. Therefore, if your bullies try to diagnose you, you can counter these bogus statements.

1. Read a Basic Psychology 101 textbook.

And gain as much knowledge as you can from it. Then, you can ask your bullies questions that challenge the narrative.

Mental Health Label:

2. Challenge the narrative.

For example:

Jack: “No one should hang around you. You’re mentally imbalanced.”

You: “Mentally imbalanced? That sounds like a pretty bold accusation. In what way?”

Jack: “Uh… I don’t know. You’re like… schizo or something.”

You: “There are five categories of schizophrenia, which one do you think I fall into?”

Jack: “Oh, just forget it!”

You: “You can’t answer the question, can you?”

Jack: “Screw you!”

You: “Uh-huh. That’s what I thought.”

Then you just roll your eyes, scoff at Jack, and walk away.

When bullies use pop psychology, they do it out of ignorance and entitlement. They use mental health and mental illness as a weapon and end up making themselves look ridiculous.

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3. Stand up to those who label you.

Don’t fall for it! Look them in the eye, and tell them,
“You’re wrong, and you know you’re wrong! I’m not going to debate this any further with you!”

Then walk away and leave them standing there slack-jawed. If the bully follows you and asks, “What’s your problem?” don’t explain it to them.

They’re not five years old; they already know, and you don’t owe them any more than what’s necessary. Say as little as possible.

Don’t beat around the bush. Get to the point and say it like you mean it. Be firm but don’t yell (yelling makes you look like a basket case).

Mental Health Label:

In Conclusion

The bully may not change their attitude toward you. But I promise! You’ll feel so much better knowing that you put your foot down and looked less “unstable.”

Here’s a quick recap:

Why Bullies attack your mental health

  • You won’t let them manipulate you.
  • They see you as a threat.
  • To discredit you.
  • To make you afraid to stand up to them.
  • Mental instability is the hardest to prove.
  • There’s nothing else they can pin on you.
  • To make you doubt your own sanity
  • People tend to see the worst in others.

How to stand up to the Mental Health Label

  • Read a basic psychology 101 textbook.
  • Challenge the narrative.
  • Stand up to those who label you.

The best thing you can do is to keep your head and continue showing them up. It may take a while, but eventually, the label does get old and wear itself out. And when that happens, it will lose its effect.

This post is all about the mental health label, So you can have the knowledge you need to stand strong against it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying Based on Mental Health: 9 Reasons Bullies Target Those with Mental Illness

2. Weaponizing Mental Health: 7 Reasons Bullies Label You Mentally Ill

3. Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill: 7 Reasons They Do It

4. The Psychology of Bullying: 7 Things that Motivate People to Bully

5. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

6. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

why bullies target sped students in schools

Why Bullies Target Sped Students

Want to know why bullies target sped students? Here are all the reasons bullies select kids with intellectual disabilities to attack so that you can call these cowards out when you see them do it.

why bullies target sped students

Photo from Canva

Bullies bully special ed students the most. Therefore, in this post, you will learn why bullies target SPED students so that you’ll be encouraged to stand up for them and call the bullies out for their own weaknesses.

Once you learn all about these pathetic truths about bullies, you will be more encouraged to stand up for students who can’t defend themselves.

This post is all about why bullies target SPED students to give you the courage to speak out for them and protect them.

Why Bullies Target Sped Students

As we’ve discussed in previous posts, bullies never bully randomly. They carefully select their victims. They know exactly what they’re doing and why they’re doing it.

Remember that bullies are nothing but sniveling little cowards. And they select anyone they don’t believe will fight back.

Bullies don’t pick on SPED students because they deserve it. No. Here are the reasons they target them.

1. SPED students are so different, they stand out.

Many of them have behavioral problems. They have difficulty controlling their emotions, especially those with intellectual disabilities.

For example, a group of bullies notices a kid shooting hoops by himself. They know him from school. They also know that he has emotional problems and that he’s in a special education class.

What’s really sad is that they’ve seen this kid have meltdowns on many occasions. Therefore, they look at each other and smile evilly before approaching the boy.

Then they surround him. The ringleader of the bully group snatches the basketball from the kid, then throws it to one of his buddies.

And, sure enough, the kid starts shouting, “Give me back my ball!” But the bullies laugh and refuse to give it back.

They keep passing the ball among themselves, taunting the sped boy. And because the victim’s disability prevents him from learning social skills, he melts down.

He cries and screams. The bullies laugh and taunt him more. Finally, they give him his ball and walk away laughing.

They got the reaction they wanted. And chances are that they’ll keep taunting him just to see him break down.

Why Bullies Target SPED students:

2. Some Can’t Read Social Cues.

When a person can’t read body language and tone, they can’t recognize manipulation. And they can’t listen to their gut feelings. Therefore, they’re easy targets for bullies.

Bullies can quickly pick up on these weaknesses. So, they take full advantage. For instance, bullies may pretend to be the victim’s friends. They do this to get close enough to the victim to harm them.

And because the sped kid can’t read social cues, he really believes they like him. The bullies may stand there and laugh at him. They may make fun of him.

But the sped kid thinks they’re laughing with him, not at him. For all he knows, they’re just having a good time with him. And they are, but not in the sense that he thinks.

Another thing these bullies may do is ask him to do humiliating things. And the sped kid does it, not knowing any better.

He doesn’t think he’s embarrassing himself. But the bullies and everyone else know better.

3. Many SPED kids don’t recognize manipulation.

Bullies will target these children because they know they can get what they want from them. For instance, a bully may ask a SPED girl for her lunch dessert.

The mean girl may tell her that if she hands over her fruit cake, then she’ll be her friend. And she’ll protect her from the other children.

Therefore, not knowing any better, the disabled girl does what the bully asks. However, later that afternoon, a pack of bullies surrounds the poor girl. The bully girl doesn’t keep her end of the bargain.

Instead, she leaves the SPED girl high and dry.

Why Bullies Target SPED Students:

4. They get less protection.

I hate to say it, but it’s true. Most people look down on them. It shouldn’t be this way. But it is. Kids are cruel. And many adults are worse.

Most people don’t protect them because they see them as less human. Therefore, most children in special education have few friends. Many are completely isolated.

5. In some schools, students gain social status by picking on those with lower social standing.

The only way bullies can feel powerful is to find a victim to pick on. And the only way they can measure up is to have a victim to use as a punching bag.

If they don’t have a target, they feel less than. Therefore, bullies will go to the ends of the earth to find one.

Realize that bullies can’t get power through meritocracy because they have zero redeeming qualities. So, they bully sped children who can’t defend themselves effectively. That’s what gives them social standing.

But know this.  Bullying at any age is born out of cowardice. Bullies who pick on SPED kids are pitiful people. Only lowdown, uneducated, sad, and pathetic idiots go after them.

Think about it! School bullies pick on kids they perceive as weak! They stoop so low as to pick on disabled kids! And they do it to feel better about themselves.

These bullies wouldn’t dare go up against someone with equal power. No. They’re too afraid they just might get their butts handed to them.

They’re nothing but gutless pieces of crap! Human filth! Toilet scum!

Why Bullies Target SPED Students:

6. SPED students are the most vulnerable.

Which is only proof that bullies are the biggest cowards in the world! Why? These particular targets are the most vulnerable. Moreover, they’re the least valued students in most schools.

They are virtually defenseless. The heartbreaking truth is that most of the other students and teachers don’t see these innocent kids as human beings.

Therefore, should it be any wonder that bullies prey on SPED students the most? Again! Bullies are cowards! They select kids with intellectual disabilities to target because these children are unable to defend themselves.

Because students in special education are usually low on social intelligence, they’re easy to get a reaction from, and bullies can exploit this at will.

During school, I would see bullies go up to a sped student, snatch something away from them, then as soon as the child started crying and screaming, the bully said, “Oops! Oh, I’m sorry. Here ya go!”

He gave the item back as soon as they got the desired reaction out of the poor kid.

7. Most mainstream teachers look down their noses at them.

I’ve heard gut-wrenching stories of other teachers in schools bullying those in the special ed program.

I also witnessed it firsthand during high school. A sped girl stood in the lunch line just a few heads in front of me.

And she was being laughed at and mocked by a group of cliquey teachers. Mind you. These women were supposed to be adults!

Why Bullies Target SPED Students:

My Heart HURTS for these kids.

I saw how these teachers would look down their noses at this child. I witnessed firsthand how they laughed and made her the butt of their cruel jokes.

Moreover, I heard the mean-spirited comments. The teachers remarked about how this poor girl would never find a job. She wouldn’t contribute anything to society.

They concluded that she would only be a drain on the taxpayers’ money once she got out of school.

I have to tell you. Just listening to those remarks made me sick to my stomach! How I wish I’d had the guts to stand up for her when it happened!

However, I was only seventeen and a student myself at the time. These bullies were teachers, and it was best for me to keep my mouth shut.

But I was also thankful. At least, those cackling old shrews weren’t spewing their venomous wisecracks on me. Pure prejudice and discrimination were what this was!

Not all mainstream teachers are this heartless.

Granted, not all mainstream teachers are this way. Most are very caring people who only want to help kids get the best start in life.

However, it seems that every school has that one group. Those four, maybe five teachers who are cliquey, mean-spirited, and who think they’re above anyone else.

And they usually mistreat the lunch ladies and custodians. They also bully other teachers who aren’t members of their little circle.

So, do you think they wouldn’t mistreat SPED students, too? Even SPED teachers get treated like trash. And it’s a crying shame!

Why Bullies Target SPED Students:

In Conclusion

Most schools don’t value students in special education programs as much as they value kids in regular classes. No, wait! Let’s be point-blank here.

Most schools are biased against these children. But they’ll never admit it. Not in this lifetime.

And bullies instinctively know this. They know that sped students aren’t worth much in the minds of school officials. Bullies know they don’t get much protection.

And this is why they torment them without fear.

Understand that bullies are the most disgusting, vile, and cowardly of people. To a bully, harassing a special ed child or disabled adult is like taking candy from a baby. It’s just too darned easy!

Bullies are threatened by anyone who is a challenge. They would never risk picking on anyone who could take them on. So they focus on the people they perceive to be the weakest and most vulnerable.

And the teachers who target these children are no better than the snot-nosed bullies who do it. They’ve only grown bigger. Adults should know better!

This post gave you all the answers to why bullies target SPED students to give you the knowledge as to how pathetic bullies are.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers.

2. Bullying in Schools: What Every Parent Should Know

3. People with Negative Energy: How to Protect Yourself from Them

4. Your Gut Feeling: Reasons It Can Save You from Bullying

weaponized morality psychology

Weaponized Morality: Another Tool in the Bully’s Toolbox

Want to know about weaponized morality? Here’s what it is and why it’s just another tool for bullies.

weaponized morality

Photo from Dreamstime

Have you ever heard of weaponized morality? It is real and can be damaging when bullies use it to bully you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what weaponized morality is and several ways bullies use it to abuse you.

Once you learn all these crucial details, you will recognize it when you see it. Then you will be able to better protect yourself from it.

This post is all about weaponized morality so that you’ll be able to spot it when it happens and stand up to it with confidence.

What is Weaponized morality?

Morals are great, but sadly, can be weaponized for abuse. Bullies are experts at feigning morals. They may appear upright in public, but in private, they’re anything but. So, let’s delve deeper and discuss how abusers use morals to degrade victims.

So, what is weaponized morality?

It is the organized use of morals, ethics, and virtue to attack targets and gain power.

Why Do Bullies Use It?

  • To make fighting seem necessary to bring down an evil opponent.
  • Make themselves look virtuous and heroic.
  • Demonize their victims.
  • Convince others that the victim deserves the abuse.
  • To make their victims “safe targets” to bully.

Instead of using morality to benefit society, they weaponize it. Bullies manipulate morals to make conflicts look like battles of good against evil.

If you’re a target of bullying, your bullies will invert morality to reframe you as morally inferior. ‘You see? If they can make you look evil, then your bullies can more easily position themselves as righteous.

In other words, they get to hide their bad behavior behind morals. At the same time, they can convince others that you’re evil and you deserve abuse. Therefore, making you a “safe target” to bully.

Weaponized Morality:

Who are “Safe Targets?”

Safe targets are victims who are safe to abuse. If you are a safe target, basically, everyone hates you and doesn’t care.

You have no friends or allies, which means that you have no support. Therefore, there’s nothing to stop human predators from harming you.

Without consequences, bad people have carte blanche to keep abusing you. In fact, they have the green light to worsen the abuse. And don’t think they won’t.

And if you dare to try to defend yourself, they will punish you for it. Safe targets often trigger outrage when they stand up for themselves. In short, if you’re “safe,” others expect you to stay a victim.

This happens in politics all the time. One party does the same to the opposing party.

How Bullies Use It on You.

Bullies use the language of right and wrong not to address wrongdoing or injustice. They don’t do it to protect others or solve problems. No.

The reason they use it is strictly to gain power. They want the power to punish their victims and control other people’s status.

Moreover, they want to protect their own social standing. And they want to keep the hierarchy in place.

So, what does it look like?

Weaponized Morality Examples.

To help you understand it, we need to provide real-life examples. What does weaponized morality look like as it is happening?

1. There’s selective outrage.

This is when bullies condemn behavior only when you do it. But they excuse the same action if it comes from anyone else.

For example, if their friends gossip about you, they’ll agree to it. But if they catch you spreading rumors, they call you a troublemaker.

The behavior isn’t the problem; it’s who’s doing it. In this case, morality isn’t a standard; it’s a tool.

2. Using public shaming to boost social status. 

This is when bullies attack you in front of an audience to look morally superior to you. For example, they may loudly berate you for using politically incorrect language. Moreover, they do it in front of an audience.

This is a form of virtue signaling. The reason they do this is to make others see them as having virtue. Or, they may want to appear enlightened.

The correction may be justified. However, the bully’s real goal is to raise their status by making you look bad. Humiliation is a powerful tool for climbing the social ladder.

Weaponized Morality Examples:

3. Using the rules against you.

Rules are strictly enforced against you if others don’t like you. In fact, there’s no margin for error. You get no leeway whatsoever.

For example, if you break the dress code at school, you get punished severely.  But if another student does the same thing, they may get off with a warning.

Therefore, they use rules not so much to enforce the standard. They use them to reinforce the social hierarchy.

4. Launching moral smear campaigns.

For example, the group gives you a negative label for daring to question unfair treatment. They may frame you as “evil,” “creepy,” or “trouble.”

Then slowly, over time, more and more people avoid you. And they do it without considering whether the accusations are true.

This often happens in places with a culture of bullying. First, they damage your reputation. Then, they exclude you. And finally, they isolate you.

Weaponized Morality Examples:

5. Undermining you with fake concern.

This is when a bully insults or undermines you while pretending to care. Bullies do this to hide their true intentions.

For example, they may tell you, “…but I’m just worried about your mental health.” Or they may say, “I’m just concerned,” or “I’m just saying this because I care.”

However, notice how they repeat those statements publicly. If they really cared about you, they would pull you aside and tell you privately. But they don’t.

Therefore, they only do it to exaggerate and undermine your credibility. What they’re doing is hiding their aggression behind a veil of concern.

6. Using morality in the name of order.

This is when authority figures use morality to maintain order but deny the right to self-defense. For example, a bully punches you at school. And you hit back to make them stop.

And why not? They hit you first. Right? After all, you have to defend yourself. However, the school punishes both you and the bully. Why? Because, in their minds, fighting is wrong even if you were defending yourself.

Realize that the school wants to create the appearance of fairness. But they punish you for defending yourself.

Weaponized Morality Examples:

7. They use morality to reframe self-defense as aggression.

A bully will provoke you repeatedly. Then they act shocked when you get fed up and jab back. For example, let’s say the bully has been messing with you for months.

You’ve ignored it, and so has everyone else. You’ve tried to be the bigger person and walk away. However, the bully won’t stop. So, the stress builds.

Your patience has worn thin. Finally, you get angry and snap. Now everyone is shocked and outraged. Not at the bully for provoking you. But at you for finally standing up to the creep.

Therefore, they begin calling you “unstable,” “violent,” “the real bully.” They punish you instead of realizing that the bully’s behavior was what caused it.

And the things they call you become labels.

8. Social exclusion THROUGH moral labeling.

You disagree with something or say the wrong thing. Not because you meant any harm, but because you used the wrong language.

Now, everyone’s angry. So, they push you out entirely. And they label you “toxic,” “unhinged,” “a bad person,” or “unsafe.”

And they repeat the labels again and again so that they’ll stick.

Weaponized morality becomes a pattern.

So, how does the pattern work? Simple. Bullies and groups use this formula.

First, they define you as morally inferior. Second, they rally the troops and get the group to align against you.

Thirdly, they justify punishing you. And lastly, they gain power and control over you. They also gain social status.

But you must know the difference here. True morality protects people fairly and consistently.

On the other hand, weaponized morality sets a double standard. How? It enforces the rules only on a select few. But everyone else can break the rules and get away with it.

In a place with a culture of bullying, it isn’t about morals. It’s about who you are. It’s also about where you fall on the social hierarchy and how much power you have.

In Conclusion

Morality is a powerful weapon because it gives bullies justification to bully you. Why? Because once people think that they are morally justified, they can do really bad things to you.

Things that would normally make them feel guilty. When bullies use morals against you, they dehumanize you. And once you are dehumanized, you’re fair game for the most horrible of abuses.

In situations like this, even good people can turn evil.

There’s nothing, no matter how terrible, that people won’t do to you. And the scary thing is that some of them might even resort to murder.

If you ever face a situation like this, you now have the knowledge to call it out. Moreover, the safest thing you can do is to remove yourself from the environment.

This post is all about weaponized morality so that you can recognize it when it happens, call it out, and do what you must to protect yourself from it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids!

2. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

3. Punished for Defending Yourself: What You Can Do

4. Relational Aggression: 12 Must-Know Reasons Bullies Use It

5. Bullying: What Is It? And What Are the 11 Types of It?

bullying and conditioning at school

Bullying and Conditioning: 3 Ways Bullies Get You to Accept Bigger Abuses

‘Want to know about bullying and conditioning and how they relate? Here are all the details you need to know.

bullying and conditioning

Photo from Canva

Bullies are just like any other type of abusers. They often condition you to take more and more crap. In this post, you will learn all about bullying and conditioning so you can protect yourself from them.

Once you discover all these crucial details, you will be better equipped to defend yourself from bullies and abusers and save your mental health.

This post is all about bullying and conditioning, so that you know how they relate and what you can do to take care of yourself.

Bullying and Conditioning

Have you heard of the Boiled Frog Method? Here’s how we can describe it. It’s the method bullies use to condition you to accept bigger, more severe abuse and violations.

Gradualism and Incrementalism

Bullying always starts subtly. Drop by drop, bullies start off taking teeny-weeny bites out of your self-esteem. They make a sarcastic comment here, and a backhanded compliment there.

They take it up ever so slowly, bit-by-bit. In fact, the abuse is so tiny that it isn’t noticeable. Yet you feel something is off.  Something just doesn’t feel good, but you can’t quite put a finger on it. It’s that subtle!

Your first clue

Your body will know if you pay attention to it.

When you meet your bullies for the first time, you will pick up on some pretty creepy vibes. You’ll feel it in the pit of your stomach.

There will be something about them that feels “off.” And you’ll feel it before the first words are exchanged.

You will notice them watching your every move, scoping you out, studying you like a specimen. Or you may look up from whatever you’re doing and see them eyeing you from across the room.

You may see them out of the corner of your eye, huddled together and watching you. Then you will notice them look at each other and smirk. They’ll have that eerie twinkle in their eyes. You might even see a micro-flash or two of contempt.

Don’t ignore this!

Understand what they’re doing. They’re sizing you up – probing to see what excites you and what doesn’t.

Bullying and Conditioning:

Committing slightly bigger violations.

Next, they begin with subtle verbal abuse. You’ll barely notice it. These bullies will throw out a backhanded compliment here and a little dig there.

Then they’ll watch to see how you react. They make the abuse almost unrecognizable. You know, but you can’t prove it. After all, the insult may sound innocent.

You may question yourself. Or, you may fear that if you jab back, you may come off sounding “too sensitive.”

But understand that bullies do this deliberately. Not only do they do this to make you question yourself. They also do it to soften you up.

Therefore, the abuse is virtually unrecognizable… until it isn’t.

Upping the Ante

So, over time, the bullying gets worse. By the time it’s recognizable, the abuse is so out of control that the bullies can’t help themselves.

Moreover, they don’t even try to hide it anymore. Why continue to put in the work to hide something you’ve gotten away with for so long? And why stop when there’s no incentive to? Right?

By the time the abuse becomes obvious, it’s usually too late. Why? Because everyone has grown accustomed to bullying you. In fact, they’ve gotten comfortable with doing it.

And once they’ve grown accustomed to it, it’s almost impossible to get them to leave you alone, no matter how you stand up to them.

Bullying and Conditioning:

They punish you for standing up to them.

When you get fed up and put your foot down, bullies will only double down on their behavior. They will get angry at you for defending yourself. And they will find ways to punish you.

Realize that these people want power. And when you defend yourself, you threaten their power.

They don’t give a damn about the pain they inflict. You’re a target, and they darn well intend for you to stay that way.

Bullies get their kicks out of bullying you. And they won’t give that up easily.

Therefore, they only respond with anger and resentment.

“We’re in charge here! How dare you think that you can defy us!”

Again, people get offended when someone they deem inferior finally grows a spine. And they’ll do everything they can to break your will and keep getting their sick, sadistic jollies.

Understand that bullies have authoritarian personalities. They truly think they are superior.

 Bullying is One Big PsyOp

Think about it. Governments and their military use psychological operations all the time. And they do it by starting propaganda campaigns.

For example, bullies start with smear campaigns and verbal abuse. This is the equivalent of government propaganda, but on a smaller scale.

Therefore, propaganda campaigns and smear campaigns are the same. Also, they both have the same purpose. To demoralize “the enemy.”

When people bully you, they see you as the enemy. Therefore, they seek to demoralize you. And if they can demoralize you, they can crush your will to stand up and fight back.

Bullying and Conditioning:

Things bullies say to demoralize you.

  • “You’re not strong (pretty, smart) enough.”
  • “Nobody likes you.”
  • “You don’t have any friends.”
  • “You can’t fight against us.”
  • “You’ll always be a nobody.”
  • “You’ll never amount to anything.”
  • “No one will ever date you (or) marry you.”
  • “You’ll never win that contest.”
  • “You’ll never make the team.”

You’ll never do this, and you’ll never do that. You must realize that they make these kinds of statements to mentally subdue you.

They want to force you to give up your natural reluctance to bow down and take abuse. And they do it by slowly weakening your resolve.

If they can plant seeds of self-doubt, then they can eventually get you to hate yourself. And once you begin hating yourself, you’ll surrender. Then, they can just walk all over you.

Again, governments do the same thing to get certain groups of people to submit.

Here’s what bullies really want from you.

  • Bullies want you to believe that you’re worthless.
  • They want you to believe that you’re powerless.
  • They want you to believe that you can’t do anything right.
  • Moreover, they want you to believe that you’re an evil person.
  • They want you to doubt yourself
  • They want you to feel inferior.

Why? Because bullies know that whatever you believe about yourself, others will believe it too. If you don’t have confidence in yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?

They want you to stop going after your dreams because they were too lazy to go after theirs. This is why they convince you that you’re a failure and that everything you set out to do will fall flat.

Their goals are to subjugate you so they can feel superior.

Bullying and Conditioning:

Psyops create opportunities that otherwise might not come to fruition.

  • The opportunity to keep you silent and from talking about their abuse.
  • The opportunity to use you to further their selfish agendas.

You see, if your bullies can silence you, then they can bully you safely. They don’t have to worry about being detected.

Therefore, they can continue to get that rush of power and feel superior. They can use your shortcomings to distract attention away from their own.

Moreover, they get to make you the bad guy while they go on doing their dirt. And no one will be the wiser.

Think about it. If they can ruin your reputation and make you the troublemaker, then others won’t suspect it’s them stirring the bullshit. They’ll look over at you instead.

Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. And if people expect trouble to come from a certain person, then that’s who they’re going to look at.

This requires changing public opinion about you. If bullies can demonize you in the eyes of others, they can cut you off from friendships. And friends mean support.

Once they cut you off from support, then they can bully you at will. And why not? If everyone hates you, they’ll believe that you deserve the abuse. And, they’ll never help you.

Bullying and Conditioning:

In conclusion

The more you know, the better you protect yourself. Therefore, you must get wise to these things.

Again, conditioning starts small. You must know how to recognize it when it starts. Because the longer it goes on and the bigger the abuses get, the harder it is to defend yourself.

And what helps you to recognize it from the start is that your body feels it. Also, you’ll sense it in the vibes people around you give off. So, pay attention.

And lastly, never let them cause you to stop believing in yourself. Never let them destroy your confidence. Don’t fall for it when they gaslight you.

And, whatever you do, never let them cause you to hate yourself. Never allow the bullying to get so bad that you have to leave the environment.

Always stand up for yourself and call them out. Because, in doing so, you keep mental barriers in place to protect yourself.

You keep your reputation; you keep the support of others. Most importantly, you keep your confidence, your self-belief, and your healthy self-esteem.

This post was all about bullying and conditioning so that you’ll recognize the slow, gradual effects of bullying and protect yourself against them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Conditioning: 5 Signs You’re Being Conditioned

2. Bullying and Psychological Conditioning

3. Punished for Defending Yourself: What You Can Do

4. That Bullied Vibe: How Not to Attract More Bullies

5. The Bullied Brain: 7 Ways Bullying Affects Mental Health

when bullying progresses to mobbing psychology

When Bullying Progresses to Mobbing

What happens when bullying progresses to mobbing? What are the signs that it’s headed that way? Read here to find out.

when bullying progresses to mobbing

Photo from Dreamstime

In this post, you will learn how to tell when bullying progresses to mobbing.

Once you learn all these tell-tale signs, you will be able to get out of the environment before things get too toxic.

This post outlines the signs you’ll notice when bullying progresses to mobbing so you can begin creating an exit plan before the abuse reaches a fever pitch.

When Bullying Progresses to Mobbing

Mobbing is bullying by large groups. It happens when everyone in a school, workplace, or community collectively harasses a targeted individual.

The mob often acts under the influence of a ringleader in a position of power. Mobbing usually happens out of retaliation.

It begins when a bullying victim gets fed up with abuse and finally speaks up about it. There are other names for mobbing, such as Collective Bullying.

Remember that bullies and their followers expect you to stay quiet. Moreover, they demand that you bow down to and submit to it.

And when you finally assert your right to be treated as a human being, they punish you for it.

How do you describe it?

A large group of people (a mob) targets you because you opened your mouth. Over time, they become increasingly aggressive. Moreover, the number of attackers grows until you’re completely isolated.

Understand that this is coordinated. It’s designed to strip you of power. They reinforce a shared negative view of you, regardless of your prior reputation.

As vicious gossip circulates, destructive labels and damaging accusations will follow. And they only further alienate you from everyone else.

The mob will expand to include several teachers or managers and large numbers of students or coworkers. What’s shocking is that even the sweetest, most compassionate people suddenly become mean and nasty.

And they won’t think they’re participants in bullying. Instead, they’ll see themselves as defenders against an evil enemy.

They’ll justify their behavior. Why? Because if they saw themselves as bullying participants, it would go against their sense of decency.

When Bullying Progresses to Mobbing:

In groups, people change quickly.

Groups change people. Always! Why? Because they feel they must conform. Mobbing is the most damaging because you quickly lose support.

More people jump on the hate bandwagon until everyone closes ranks, and there’s no one left who will help you. And, once bullying escalates to mobbing, it’s nearly impossible to stop.

Chronic Bullying

Chronic bullying is bullying that has persisted over time. When bullying has gone on for six months or longer, people grow comfortable with the bullying.

Therefore, they will skyrocket the torment and pursue you obsessively and nonstop. Why? Because there’s no accountability. And if there’s no accountability, they have no incentive to stop.

As a result, the bullies become cocky. In fact, they get so brazen that the cruelty only grows.

Also, bystanders’ apathy grows until they lose all empathy. Then, they can only feel blind hatred toward you. It gets so bad that anything they do to you, no matter how dangerous, is acceptable.

Why? Because, to them, you have no value, and your life is worth nothing. The scary thing is that it progresses more quickly than you realize. Therefore, you must find ways to address it in the early stages.

When Bullying Progresses to Mobbing:

The bullying seems to take on a life of its own.

As mentioned earlier, the bullies have followers and minions backing them up. They enlist flying monkeys to do their dirty work.

Before long, the bullying becomes so ingrained and so severe that it seemingly takes on a life of its own. Bullies become drunk on their own power. Their hatred seems to be all they can focus on.

Instead of controlling their behavior, the behavior controls them. The bullies are blinded by senseless rage. And they’re so addicted to power that the abuse becomes constant. This is a dangerous combination.

Understand that when bullying progresses to mobbing, bullies don’t see you as a human being. As far as they’re concerned, you don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as they do.

This is why mobbing can be especially dangerous. Once it reaches this level, you run the risk of either dying by suicide or being murdered.

Get out of the environment as soon as you figure out that they’re mobbing you. Transfer to another school, go to work for another company, or move to another area. It’s the only way you will find peace.

When Bullying Progresses to Mobbing:

The Process Step-By-Step

If you’ve ever been a target of mobbing, you know firsthand how destructive it is. Mobbing is hard to remedy.

The reason is that the tactics are difficult to name or describe. Another reason is that it can leave you so distraught that you’re unable to think clearly.

Here’s something I want you to realize. A mobbing campaign is nowhere near as tricky as it looks.

You’d be amazed at just how simple it is to smear someone. It’s so easy that it shouldn’t be so effective, but it is!

Here’s a chronological, step-by-step recap of how bullies do it and succeed at it:

1. Target Selection.

Here’s a scenario of mobbing in the workplace.

The bullies at XYZ company dislike a specific lady who refuses to conform to their standards. In the past, the bullies successfully influenced everyone else. They have gotten them to submit.

Then, along comes Cindy. She’s beautiful and extremely likable. Confident and outgoing, she makes friends easily.

However, she does her own thing. Cindy is fiercely independent, and this threatens the bullies’ power.

She doesn’t realize that by doing her thing, she’s enraging the bullies. So, she goes on about her business. She plans for her future and achieves good things.

Also, she gets loads of positive attention and praise from others because she’s so successful and well-liked.

When Bullying Progresses to Mobbing:

2. Probing.

The bullies watch Cindy closely. They consistently watch her to study her behavior to anticipate her reactions. They figure out her likes and dislikes. Moreover, they find what excites her.

3. Smear Campaign

Next, the bullies begin to smear Cindy. They gossip and spread ugly rumors about her.

Through their lies, they train others to expect a specific type of behavior from Cindy. They point out specific behaviors when they occur.

The bullies then associate Cindy’s completely innocent behavior with something bad or evil. For example, Cindy is sweet, playful, and likes to engage in a little banter.

The bullies watch Cindy banter with people at work. She playfully calls someone a “dummy” or a “goofball,” but others know that it’s all harmless. Cindy is a genuinely kind person.

Therefore, she’s only teasing.

4. The bullies begin making offhand comments.

They remark that her kindness is only an attempt to kiss ass. They say that she wants something from people. Therefore, they plant a little seed of doubt.

Maybe Cindy thinks the people around her really are dummies. She only disguises it under a veil of fun jokes and playfulness. And she’s funny.

The bullies also make statements that she thinks she’s cute. They tell others that she thinks she’s smarter than everyone else. Then repeat, repeat, repeat!

To quote a propaganda minister to a well-known dictator in history, “Tell a lie once, and it remains a lie. Tell a lie a thousand times, and it becomes the truth.”

When Bullying Progresses to Mobbing:

5. The repeated narrative begins to stick.

The next time others see her being kind to and playfully bantering with someone, she doesn’t look so cute. The banter isn’t so funny anymore.

Now, people see a side of her they can’t believe they never noticed before.

Feeling smug with gratification, the bullies look at each other, then at Cindy. They wear smirks on their crooked faces and try the same thing over again. The progress is slow, but it’s working.

6. One by One, others buy into the narrative.

 And before you know it, everyone wonders what they ever saw in her to begin with. They start to feel negative toward this poor girl.

7. You begin noticing that something is off.

Cindy begins to pick up on the negative vibes. She withdraws a little.

She doesn’t speak to people as much as she used to. And she doesn’t understand what she did to bring it about.

The bullies notice that Cindy is more distant than usual. Doing what they do best, they use it against her. So, they quickly point this out to everyone.

“Hey, look! Do you see that? Now, what did we tell you? She really does think we’re all dummies! She really does think she’s better than the rest of us!”

“And her ass-kissing didn’t work, so now she’s too good to speak to anyone!”

When Bullying Progresses to Mobbing:

8. they use your reaction as a weapon.

Cindy’s withdrawal only inflames everyone’s feelings of resentment. Although her becoming distant is only out of self-protection, others mistake it for smugness and arrogance.

9. It gets worse until you leave to protect yourself.

The bullying only snowballs from there. It gets worse and worse over time until it morphs into mobbing. Understand that we’re all human, and we make mistakes. Therefore, we misjudge others all the time.

Mobbing can happen anywhere, not only in the workplace, but also in school. It’s even worse for kids because they are still developing. Moreover, kids who are mobbed at school get bullied by teachers. And it is a cycle.

Bullies condition an entire group to see any quality in a particular person as a bad thing. And that’s when a smear campaign is most effective.

Therefore, everyone, even those who aren’t bullies, can quickly turn cruel. And they repeat the same cruelty, over and over again.

When bullying progresses to mobbing, it’s unstoppable. And the only way you can take your life back is to leave the environment.

Bullying always escalates if it’s left unchecked. And when something bad is left unchecked, there’s no incentive to hide it, much less stop it.

The post gave you the details of what happens when bullying progresses to mobbing so that you will recognize the warning signs and get out before it affects your mental health.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Mobbing in the Workplace: How it Progresses, Step-by-Step

2. Bullying or Mobbing?

3. Mobbing in Schools: 9 Warning Signs Bullying is Out of Control

4. The Cycle of Bullying: Psychological Injuries and Care of Victims

5. Examples of a Teacher Bullying a Student: School Mobbing

manipulators quotes

Manipulators: 8 Ways They Manipulate

Want to know about manipulators and how they operate? Here’s everything you need to know.

manipulators

Photos from Canva

Manipulators are everywhere: at school, in the workplace, and even in the home. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about manipulators and the tactics they use to get what they want.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be better able to spot them and protect yourself.

This post is all about manipulators so that you can recognize when you’re being taken for a sucker and drop them like they’re hot.

Manipulators

So, why do people resort to manipulation? They do it because they feel powerless inside. They don’t have the guts to come out and ask for what they want.

Moreover, they feel they can’t get their needs met any other way. Therefore, they must resort to indirect means and trickery to get their needs and wants met.

There are many ways people, especially bullies, manipulate. Here are all the tactics they use to get what they want from you.

1. Guilt Trips

Manipulators will make you feel guilty when you don’t let them have their way. And they will continue to violate your boundaries.

If you “dare” to stand up to them, they’ll become offended and angry. They will try to make you believe you are the bad guy.

Many times when I was young, others tried to constantly manipulate me. They told me that if I didn’t do what they wanted, I wasn’t a good person. Or they would imply that I wasn’t a team player.

They would accuse me of being selfish, stingy, or greedy. The other person would always say things that made me feel rotten.

Manipulators may also attempt to make you feel obligated somehow. They may refer to something they did for you and imply that you now owe them.

For example, if a partner asks a girl for sex and she tells them she’s not ready to take that step yet, the partner will then say something to the tune of, “I just took you out to a five-course dinner and treated you to a great movie…” Blah-b-blah.

Let’s be clear, you don’t owe them anything, especially if it’s a date trying to get in your pants. The same goes if someone is trying to talk you into joining them in doing something illegal.

If something doesn’t feel right and you get the feeling you’re better off not going along, trust your instincts. And say no, then tell them to either beat it or take you home right then!

2. Tactics of Manipulators:

Pretending not to understand

 “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” We have all heard that line many times. Manipulators will claim they don’t understand. However, they know darn well what you’re saying, but don’t want to.

Do not fall for this! Either walk away, or tell the person, “Don’t give me that crap. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” Then, walk away.

3. Being friendly only when they expect something in return

Every single one of us has dealt with those types- you know the ones. You never hear from these people.  Moreover, they may even treat you coldly when they see you out and about.

Then, suddenly, magically, out of the blue, they call you up or start being friendly. Next, they ask you for a favor, some help with a problem they are dealing with. Or maybe they need a little cash.

And so, you help the person, and once they’ve gotten what they wanted, it’s back to true blue. They disappear or go back to treating you like trash.

You must see this person for who they are. And this creep is nothing but a user. They’re one of many manipulators who get over on you and many others.

Ditch this person because they will only drain you. You don’t need them in your life.

4. Tactics of Manipulators:

The silent treatment

This is one of the most common tactics manipulators use. And they do it to exploit the natural and extreme human need for social acceptance and community.

Let’s face it. We are all hardwired for social connection. Furthermore, it’s natural to go silent on someone when they’ve done us wrong.

However, the silent treatment can also be abused by manipulators when they don’t get their way, and can be damaging to the target when used against them.

If a bully or anyone else tries to get you to do something you don’t want to do, no law says that you have to do it. And how you protect yourself against this childish behavior is to not care about it. Instead, mirror it back to them.

In other words, when someone gives you the silent treatment, you give it back to them. Always remember that two can play that game!

5. Acting as if an agreement has been made when there’s been no agreement at all

This can be the most infuriating. These creeps will often go ahead with their plans before you’ve agreed. Or they’ll tell you something like, “Remember? We agreed to so-and-so last week,” knowing darn well you never agreed to anything.

Manipulators will try to put words in your mouth to strong-arm you into giving in. They won’t even stop to think about how you feel about it. Why? Because they don’t care.

Don’t go along with this. Give this person their walking papers. Pronto!

6. Tactics of Manipulators:

Predicting negative outcomes to your plans

 Anytime you have plans, there will be those who will try to break your confidence. And they will do it by giving you words of discouragement.

For example, if you plan to record a CD, they might say things like, “I’m not trying to disappoint you, but chances are your CD will never chart.” Or “I hate to say this, but it’s no guarantee a producer will ever sign you to a record deal.”

Moreover, if you’re planning to publish a book, someone might ask you, “How do you know your book will even sell?” Or they might ask, “Do you really think you’re that good a writer? You need to be honest with yourself.”

They may also ridicule and belittle your goals and dreams. They do this to make your dreams seem foolish or something to be ashamed of. And sadly, these kinds of tactics work.

They’re even more effective when manipulators use them in front of an audience.

Trust me, I had people do the same to me, but it never discouraged me. It only ticked me off and made me double down on my plans to publish my books. And the best part is, I finally did it!

I advise you to do the same. If a shady character tries to discourage you from pursuing your plans, goals, and dreams, keep going.

Realize that the reason people discourage you is that they’re so afraid that you might succeed. In fact, the very possibility of you succeeding scares them to death!

Why? Because your success would force these jerks to take a long look at themselves and their own pathetic lives. Moreover, it just might put you ahead of them.

7. Tactics of Manipulators:

Distracting you from your goals

If jealous manipulators know that you’re striving toward a goal, they will deliberately try to distract you. Again, the reason they do this is that, deep down, they’re afraid that you might succeed. Then you will force them to compare your life to theirs.

Point blank, these people want so badly for you to fail. And they want you to stay on the same level as them. Why? So they won’t be left alone in the gutter, feeling so bad about themselves.

For example, people might be real sneaky about it. They may begin inviting you to parties or trying to get you drunk.

When they do this, they can claim that they only want you to have a good time instead of sitting at home studying all the time. Or they may be more overt and interrupt you while you’re working.

Or, they may play loud music while you’re trying to concentrate. Again, these people are scared to death of your success. And they will very slyly put out all the stops to distract your attention. So, beware.

How you combat this is by politely declining any invitations. Or, you can go to a place where you can work quietly and not be interrupted or distracted.

8. Tactics of Manipulators:

Isolating you.

Abusive partners

This is, perhaps, one of the worst manipulation tactics. And it happens often in abusive marriages and relationships.

The person may try to keep you away from caring family and friends. Therefore, you must see the reasons they do it.

One reason is to control the narrative. They want to make sure your loved ones don’t give you information that could put them in danger. For instance, your family members may see right through your partner.

As a result, they may tell you that they aren’t good for you and that you should drop them. Moreover, your partner may want to keep you all to themselves. However, you must understand that this isn’t normal and should be seen as a red flag.

Bullies

If your manipulators are bullies, they may turn your friends against you. They may also make it difficult for you to make new friends.

Understand that they do this to control your social life. If they can ruin your reputation and turn everyone against you, they can make you lonely. Moreover, they can cut off any support you might otherwise receive.

And it’s all to maintain power over your life.

Tactics of Manipulators:

in conclusion

These are only a few tactics manipulators use, but they are the most common. Other tactics include gaslighting, physical abuse, and fear.

Your best defense against them is knowledge. When you know their tactics and personalities, you can better predict what they’ll do. Then you can block their attempts to control you.

With knowledge comes empowerment.

Here’s a brief summary of what we just covered:

  • Guilt trips
  • Pretending not to understand
  • Being friendly only when they expect something from you.
  • Giving you the silent treatment
  • Acting as if an agreement has been made when you haven’t agreed to anything.
  • Predicting negative outcomes to your plans.
  • Distracting you from your goals.
  • Isolating you.

This post was all about manipulators and the tactics they use so that you can use what you’ve learned to predict their next move and outflank them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Sub-types of Bullies: 7 Personalities of Bullies

2.  What Bullies Hate Most: 9 Things Bullies Despise

3. Gaslighting Examples: 11 Notable Tactics Gaslighters Use

4. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

5. Psychological Abuse Tactics: 9 Mind Games Seasoned Bullies Use

signs verbal abuse will turn physical in a relationship

Signs Verbal Abuse will Turn Physical

‘Want to know all the signs verbal abuse will turn physical? Here are all the indicators you need to know.

signs verbal abuse will turn physical

Photos from Canva

There are always signs that verbal abuse will turn physical. Therefore, in this post, you will learn what those signs are so that you can act beforehand.

Once you learn all these indicators, you will be better prepared to defend yourself when a bully raises a hand to you.

This post is all about the signs verbal abuse will turn physical, so that if you’re being verbally bullied, you will be prepared to defend yourself. And if you’re in an abusive relationship, you can start planning your exit strategy now.

Signs Verbal Abuse will Turn Physical

You would be surprised at how quickly and easily a bully (or any abuser, for that matter) can change from letting their mouths do the talking to letting their fists and feet speak for them.

No one should ever tolerate verbal abuse. However, many do put up with it and don’t realize that words can turn into physical blows.

here’s a scenario you’ll probably recognize

Bullying always escalates. Always. For instance, bullies have been verbally abusing you for quite some time. You remember how they began with subtle digs and zingers. Next, you noticed that they progressed to openly screaming at you and cursing you out like a dog.

They called you ugly names and accused you of things you are not guilty of. They probably shouted you down every time you even looked like you were going to speak.

And now, they are making threats of violence against you. You’ve begun to feel afraid because you’re not sure if they mean it or not. Therefore, you don’t know when the bullying will become physical and what they’ll do to you when it does.

Understand that your bullies are still pushing your boundaries. Little by little, they up the ante to test you and figure out how you’ll react. In other words, they are seeing what you’ll let them get away with.

Therefore, they always start small. And they ever so gradually turn it up in teeny tiny increments. Bullies do this to condition you to take worse abuse. And sometimes, you don’t even know they’re doing it.

So, how do you know when the verbal bullying you suffer is about to become physical? Here’s how:

1. Signs Verbal Abuse will Turn Physical:

they invade your personal space

You can’t mistake this body language. When bullies invade your space, it’s a surefire sign that things are about to get physical. They get a little too close. They’ll follow close behind you as you’re walking down the hallway or street.

They may stand too close to you in the lunch line or while you’re punching the time clock. They may even step in front of you and block you from going any further.

Understand that body language speaks louder than words ever will. The verbal attacks were only a precursor. If nothing else, know this! Anytime a bully gets too close to you, it means they want to strike you.

Therefore, they are making sure that you are within their reach so that they can. Moreover, they are experimenting with you to gauge your response.

If someone gets in your face, your first response should be to knock the living hell out of them.

In this case, offense is the best defense. In other words, don’t even give them a chance to hit you first. Why? Because the first strike just might be the one that maims or kills you.

Therefore, to prevent a possible physical attack, the time to act is now! You must tell them in no uncertain terms to back off. And if they don’t, it’s time to strike first.

Yes! You heard me correctly. I’m not beyond hauling off and punching someone in the nose if they get in my face and refuse to back off.

However, be aware that you may be in a place where punching a bully isn’t suitable. You may be working at your job or studying in class.

Instead of fighting, I recommend that you look the bully dead in the eye.  And give the hardest glare you can muster. Then tell them in a low, growling voice to knock it off. Keep in mind that your nonverbal communication (your body language) must match what you say.

Keep glaring at them, without blinking, until they avert their eyes. Make sure you’re standing absolutely still and facing them in a power pose. (More on power poses later) The goal here is to put the fear of God in the bully.

2. Signs Verbal Abuse will Turn Physical:

they lay claim to your things and your territory

Bullies may sit at your desk. They may also pick up your belongings or lean on your car. Understand that, by touching your belongings, bullies are laying claim to what is yours. This is another sign of hostility.

This is the time to assert yourself firmly. Tell them to keep their slimy, grimy paws off your stuff! Bear in mind that messing with your belongings or destroying them is also considered to be physical bullying.

However, be forewarned that most bullies will see this as a challenge. And they will dare you to do something about it.

In this case, don’t be afraid to throw up your dukes. It’s your stuff they’re messing with, and they’re doing it to test you and see how far they can push you! So, don’t fail!

But, just as I mentioned earlier, if you use fisticuffs, make sure the time, place, and conditions are as close to right as possible. If not, do what I suggested at the end of the last section.

3. they will begin assaulting you and making it look like an accident

I call this borderline physical abuse.

Bullies will begin their physical assaults through“accidental” shoves, pushes, and bumps. They may do things “accidentally on purpose.”

For instance, they may“accidentally” run or bump into you in the hallway or parking lot. They might “accidentally” trip you or knock you down.

Or they’ll “accidentally” knock things out of your hands. They will say, “Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to (trip, shove, run into you, etc.).

And they’ll say it knowing damn well they did it deliberately. Also, you’ll know it too.

Moreover, they do it, thinking that maybe, just maybe, you won’t notice that it’s escalating. After all, accidents happen all the time. No harm, no foul. Right?

The problem is that if bullies get away with these types of games, they’ll only escalate it until it gets out of control. And once bullying gets out of control, it’s almost impossible to stop or even slow down.

Again, it’s time to throw up those dukes! Remember not to doubt yourself and what you know and feel. And you always know when something is done on purpose. You can sense these kinds of things.

Signs Verbal Abuse will Turn Physical: Like any other form of abuse, Bullying will only get worse if you don’t act.

Understand that bullying, or any form of abuse, always- always gets worse if you let it slide. Because it’s a dark part of human nature to push, push, and push further to see how far one can go.

Again, tune into your body and intuition. In other words, listen to your gut. Why? Because your gut will tell you if what the person did to you was deliberate or an accident.

If your senses tell you they did it on purpose, call it out and ask them to stop it right away. If that doesn’t work and the bully keeps it up, it might be time to throw down. But, whatever you do, put a stop to it because it’ll only get worse if you don’t.

4. They begin threatening physical violence.

This is a surefire sign that verbal bullying is about to escalate to fists. If a bully starts threatening to “kick your butt,” believe them. Take it seriously. And be prepared to defend yourself. Don’t back down and don’t turn your back on them. Why?

Because bullies don’t fight fair; they will attack you from behind the minute you turn your back and walk away.

And if they get in your face, they are violating your personal space. Moreover, it means that they want to get close enough to attack physically. So, don’t hesitate to punch their lights out.

Never doubt what you feel. Trust it!

Many victims of bullying hesitate to act because they don’t trust their instincts. They question their own instincts. “Is he really about to attack me, or is he only trying to scare me?”

The trick is to trust your gut. It picks up on the other person’s energy. If your gut tells you that the person wants to hit you, it is probably right.

Signs Verbal Bullying will Turn Physical:

In conclusion

To defend yourself, you must pay attention and trust your instincts. Look for these signs. And if you see them, you must do whatever it takes to contain the threat. And if that means hitting first, then do it.

With knowledge comes empowerment.

 This post is all about the signs Verbal bullying will Turn PHYSICAL so that you can be ready for when the bully attacks you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Verbal Bullying

2. Physical Bullying Information: 5 Must-Know Secrets Bullies Don’t Want You to Know

3.  How to Deal with Physical Bullies

4. Nonverbal Bullying: Hostile Body Language Head to Toe

5. Examples of Nonverbal Bullying

leaving town to escape bullying reddit

Leaving Town to Escape Bullying: 7 Reasons it’s a Good Idea

‘Want to know why leaving town to escape bullying is sometimes the best idea? Here, you’ll find out the exact reasons, in detail, why moving to a new area could be the best decision you’ll ever make.

leaving town to escape bullying

Photo from Canva

“A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his relatives and his own family.” – Mark 6:4

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why you may need to consider leaving town to escape bullying.

Once you learn all about this vital information, you will be compelled to make the changes you need to have a better life.

This post is all about leaving town to escape bullying and why it could be the best thing you can ever do for yourself.

Leaving Town to Escape Bullying

You want to live bully-free. You long for others to give you space and the chance to relax, be yourself, and live a rewarding and meaningful life.

Moreover, you want opportunities to flow into your life and to live by your own standards. If people bully you, you probably desire to reinvent yourself and attract love and respect.

Unfortunately, to do this, you will have to leave the area if everyone bullies you. Here’s why this is a good idea.

1. People will always know you as the label they stuck you with.

If you don’t move, everyone will never forget you as that “loser,” or that “whore.” They will only remember you as that “lowlife,” that “nut-ball,” or whatever label they stuck you with. Therefore, no one will give you a chance, no matter what you do.

Moreover, Everyone will know you as the kid whom everyone bullied and got away with it. They’ll always have you in their mind as “Everybody’s bitch.”

As a result, they will treat you as such. And they will do it long after graduation, especially if you live in a small town or rural area.

So, why not consider leaving if you can afford it?

2. Leaving Town to Escape Bullying:

In a New Town, People Will Likely Welcome You.

In a new geographical area, you will be the new kid in town. You will be that new kid who is mysterious, intriguing, and beguiling!

You will be the person everyone is anxious to meet because they feel that you’re full of hope and promise. When you leave for a new area, you can reinvent and redefine yourself.

You can rewrite your own story and give a stellar first impression, then let it speak for itself. As a result, you can be successful at anything. And you can attract endless opportunities for love, friendship, and advancement.

3. If you stay, no one will give you a chance to rise above.

But back in the old town, you’re the kid who was desperate for attention. In other words, others will view every success you enjoy as another ploy to show off and impress others.

Also, there’s a high likelihood that you will provoke their jealousy. And they will treat you even worse as an adult.

In contrast, any failure will be seen by others as an “I told you so” moment. It will confirm to them that you really are a loser.

However, in a new area, your value comes from what you put out. You are judged by the fruit you bear, not who you are.

Whereas, in the old town, you are judged by your reputation, which was ruined in school. Just because of who they think you are, they will adjust their attitudes to reflect hostility.

Therefore, leaving town saves you from all of that.

4. Leaving town to Escape Bullying:

In the old town, people will have already made up their minds.

In a locale where you were bullied, nobody will be interested in how much you’ve grown as a person. They won’t want to hear about any successes you’ve enjoyed or accomplishments you’ve made. Why?

Because it would only force them to consider that maybe you’re not such a bad person after all. As a result, it might quiet their own judgment of you.

Think about it. No one wants to be wrong about anything. Therefore, they’ll only dig their heels in and double down on their judgments and attitudes.

Again, leaving town and going where no one knows you gives you a chance to re-establish yourself.

5. Without leaving town, you’ll Never Discover Your True Potential.

It’s next to impossible to discover your true potential when others define you by who they think you are. Their perceptions of you will always be negative, so they will do everything they can to keep you in your place.

It’s a box you will never be able to get out of, no matter what. However, when you leave and move to a new environment, you will be more likely to advance. You’re likely to get the breakthrough you’ve waited for so long.

6. Leaving town to Escape Bullying:

Opportunities will open up for you.

You could become an expert at something later in life. And others would respect you for it anywhere else. However, if you took that expertise to the old town, only a scant few would acknowledge it.

But if you leave and move to a new locale and show what you know, then you’ll likely have notoriety.

But more importantly, you should consider leaving so you can finally have peace. Do it because your happiness and your sanity depend on it.

Why would you stay in a place where people constantly watch you every move? Moreover, why would you stay where people unfairly judge and mistreat you?

Why stay where you’ll only suffer more bullying in the future? Also, why live where people will more than likely bully you out of every job you find?

Moreover, why risk bullies harassing you at the supermarket? Why continue to live under the threat of hoodlums jumping you in the parking lot outside the local Dairy Queen?

7. You can always return for a visit if you have family in the old town, but you don’t have to live there.

You can always return a few years later after you’ve built your confidence and social and creative portfolios. However, don’t be surprised if you notice all the things that suck about the old town.

And, one of the things that will suck the most is the reception you get from the people there. Therefore, if you have family there, stop in for a visit. However, do it on a low key.

Another thing that will most likely disappoint you is that you will have experienced more life changes than anyone who stayed. Therefore, they would only bore the crap out of you.

Leaving Town to Escape Bullying:

It’s best to get out of Dodge

Leaving town isn’t running, and it isn’t being chicken. It’s finding a place where you can flourish and have a better life. There’s nothing wrong with that. And there’s no shame or blame in that.

Go to a brand-new place and rediscover yourself. You want to get beyond the confines of your reputation, and the only way to do that is to pack your bags and leave.

When you escape bullying, you escape everything that comes with it. You escape mental and physical abuse, and you also escape unfair judgment. And the best part is that you escape stagnation.

Leaving town is the only way you’ll become what you want to be and move up in the world! Once you move to a new area and get re-established, you’ll have a level of respect, influence, safety, and best of all, freedom that you never would’ve achieved had you stayed in your home area!

You either leave or stay and embrace the Suck.

I realize that some cannot leave, especially children or adults who can’t afford it. Life circumstances can sometimes trap victims of bullying in a school or town that hates them.

It’s easier to get out of a toxic environment when you’re an adult who others bully at work. You can transfer, and if you can’t transfer, you can always quit.

However, when you’re a minor, it’s almost impossible. What if your family cannot afford to move to a new school district? Also, what if your parents refuse to move or to transfer you? What if your parents can’t afford to homeschool you?

There’s nothing worse than being stuck in a toxic environment and in a horrible situation. When everyone in the school or area is bullying you, and there’s no way of escaping it, it’s the feeling of entrapment!

Just imagine finding yourself in this situation, and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it! You can’t get away from it! You’re just stuck there!

So, what do you do? You embrace the suck.

Embracing the suck means that you grin and bear it. You accept the god-awful, crappy mess that plagues your life because there’s no other choice.

Leaving town to Escape Bullying:

Sadly, some people have no choice but to stay.

In other words, you’re just plain screwed, and there’s no way out of it. You decide to live with it and make peace with the possibility that things may not get any better. And yes, it sucks!

Sadly, uncontrollable circumstances keep targeted kids in schools with a toxic culture of bullying. Finances keep adults stuck in neighborhoods full of people who hate them.

When a child is stuck in a school where bullying is rife, their classmates attack them daily. They attack them psychologically and physically.

Teachers and principals view these children unfavorably because bullies have convinced them that they are the instigators. Therefore, school staff is constantly watching them, waiting for any reason to drag them into the principal’s office.

These kids suffer from plummeting grades and poor school performance. Why? Because circumstances force them to stay in a toxic school.

As a result, they live in survival mode. And, unfortunately, preparing for a hostile learning environment takes priority over studying and learning.

Therefore, school staff see them as lazy and hopeless. And they refuse to give them the extra help they need.

Gee! That’s an awful lot of suck!

And how much suck can one child deal with?

Understand that if you’re a child dealing with these types of circumstances, you don’t have to “embrace the suck.” There’s always School Choice.

Nowadays, families can apply for vouchers to transfer their child to a new school. These vouchers have saved countless targets from years of bullying.

Also, there are other things you can do if, by chance, School Choice isn’t an option where you live:

  • document the bullying and have your parent or legal guardian help you with your documentation.
  • Also, depending on the jurisdiction you live in, hide a body cam or digital device somewhere on your person.
  • Thirdly, practice self-care.

And keep the faith. School Choice may not be available in your area now, but it doesn’t mean it won’t be later. You are not entirely powerless. Do the above three things because they are within your control.

When you document and record the bullying and practice self-care, you’ll not only change the dynamic. You’ll also feel so much better about yourself because you will have at least some control.

Leaving Town to Escape Bullying:

In conclusion

If you can’t leave, my heart goes out to you. However, if you can, you must consider doing so because leaving for greener pastures can change your life. Leaving town to escape bullying usually works out for the best. It gives you new hope.

It allows you to get re-established and start your life anew. You will meet new people who will welcome you because you’ll have no history with them.

Leaving town gives you a fresh start with a clean slate. And you won’t regret it. I promise you!

This post was all about leaving town to escape bullying to let you know that there is always something you can do to better your life and get away from bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids! 

2. It Only Gets Better: There is Life After Bullying 

3. There’s Always Hope: 11 Things to Remember When People Bully You 

why bullies label you mentally ill reddit

Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill: 7 Reasons They Do It

‘Want to know why bullies label you mentally ill? Here are all the reasons they do it and how you can fight back.

why bullies label you mentally ill

Photos from Canva

When people label you “unhinged,” no one has to take you seriously ever again. Others will automatically doubt everything you do, good or bad.

In this post, you will learn why bullies label you mentally ill, so that you discover where the label comes from.

Once you realize these crucial facts, you will be able to counter the label more confidently and effectively, as you will understand its intentions.

This post will tell you why bullies label you mentally ill to alleviate any confusion you may have and to help you stand firm against the label.

Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill

Anytime society sticks a person with the “mentally imbalanced” label, it can be worse than if they are deemed a criminal. Because at least people take criminals, even murderers and rapists, more seriously. What a crying shame!

Therefore, when bullies can con an entire community into deeming you unhinged, they can make you disappear and become irrelevant. And they can do it even after you’re dead.

The most insidious thing about this label is that it can make the labelled person doubt their own sanity. In other words, it’s not so much that they think you’re mentally imbalanced; it’s that they want you to believe it.

Why? Because if they can make you believe it, then you’re more likely to live up to it.

Furthermore, the cr4zy card is the easiest for bullies to play. Although they can never prove you’re a basket case, there’s no way you can prove that you aren’t one.

This Label is worse than the label, “criminal.”

This is why the mental health label is the most widely used among bullies and society as a whole. Also, it’s the most common form of gaslighting.

“Cray-cray” can be used as a last resort when bullies run out of options and can’t pin anything else on you. Think about it. They can’t easily label you a whore if you haven’t slept around.

Just the same, they can’t as easily label you a criminal if you don’t have a police record to prove it. And they can’t easily label you a thief if you never took anything that wasn’t yours.

Whereas you can’t as easily disprove a mental imbalance. Therefore, the more you know about the ins and outs and the reasons behind its use, the better you can defend against it.

The best thing you can do in this situation is to keep your head and continue showing them up. It may take a while, but eventually the label does wear out. And when that happens, its effect will be lost.

Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill:

3 Reasons Bullies Stick The “Cray” Label on you

Do you ever wonder why bullies attach labels, such as “unstable” or “mentally disturbed,” to you when you stand up to their abuse? Here are the reasons:

1. The unstable label is used by bullies as a last option

When there is nothing else they can pin on you, this is their last-ditch effort to stigmatize you. And, sadly, it works like a charm.

2. A mental imbalance is the most difficult to disprove.

Let’s say you’re a target of bullying and have the guts to stand up to the abuse.  The bully may tell everyone that you’re nuts, and everyone else may believe it, too.

There is no way the bully can prove that you are, in fact, unhinged. However, there’s no way you can prove that you aren’t. Therefore, the burden of proof lies with you. And proving that you aren’t mentally ill is the most difficult.

3. They’re trying to make you doubt your own sanity.

Bullies aren’t clueless. In fact, they probably know more about human nature than the average person. They’ve learned that if someone is told something a million times, they’re more likely to believe it, eventually.

And when you believe something about yourself, you will likely live up to it. Therefore, don’t you doubt your sanity for a second!

If you know that you are not mentally ill, say it! Tell them that you know what they are trying to do and that you don’t buy it!

Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill:

People tend to believe the worst in others.

This is why the “cray-cray” label is just too easy to stick on anyone. People have a strong tendency to see the worst in others. And, again, the burden of proof lies with you.

It is damn hard to prove that you aren’t mentally ill when bullies attack you from every direction and wear you down. Why? Bullying is devastating to the victim’s mental health.

Therefore, when a person is bullied, they are at their worst.

The natural response is to react when attacked.

The natural human response is to react and defend oneself when attacked. Bystanders can very easily mistake your reaction for mental illness.

It happens when others walk in on you as you’re telling your bully where to stick it. Many times, they only catch the tail end of the confrontation.

Then they draw the wrong conclusions. Understand that this is what your bullies are counting on. Often, this is how they set it up.

Bullies have ways of making you look like you’ve completely “lost it” to any witnesses who happen to walk by.

Bullies do this all the time to discredit you and cover their behinds when they’re wrong! If the bully can make you look loony, then who’s going to believe you when you report the harassment?

And who’ll take you seriously the next time you let the bully have it? They’ll only sigh and think, “Uh-oh! There she goes again! She’s having another mental episode! That girl has gone completely batshit!”

Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill:

The trick is to stand up to them calmly.

Please, for your own sake, don’t fall for it! Stand up to them! Look them in the eye, and you tell them, “You’re wrong, and you know you’re wrong! I’m not going to debate this any further with you!”

And you do it calmly.

Then walk away, leaving the bully standing there, slack-jawed. If the bully follows you and asks, “What’s your problem?” don’t explain it to them.

They’re not five years old; they already know. And you don’t owe them any more than what’s necessary. Therefore, say as little as possible.

Tell them, “You know what my problem is!”

The bully may continue to follow you and ask, “What did I do to you?”

You say, “You know what you did! Now get bent!”

The idea is not to beat around the bush. Get to the point and say it like you mean it. Be firm but don’t yell (yelling makes you look like a basket case).

The bully may not change their ways or their attitude toward you. But I promise! You’ll feel so much better about yourself knowing that you put your foot down and looked less “unstable” to any bystanders!

2 More Reasons Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill and Why It Works

Unfortunately, the label of mental instability is the easiest and most effective label to stick to a person. Sadly, a label like this has loads of staying power. Again, it’s the hardest to disprove- especially when the object of it is being bullied and mobbed.

If people bully you, there’s a good chance you will be an emotional wreck. Chronic abuse does that to victims. So, there’s another reason the mental label is a clever label to pin to them.

The label is only used to discredit you.

When bullies label you as bonkers, it doesn’t mean they actually think you are. Allow me to explain further.

Bullies are big cowards. If they really and truly thought you were cuckoo, they wouldn’t mess with you at all. In fact, they wouldn’t come near you. Instead, they would do everything they could to stay out of your way and avoid poking the bear.

They’d go out of their way to be on their best behavior around you. Why? Because they know that if a person is, in fact, cray-cray, that person could rip their heads off and poop down their necks.

That person could go postal and wipe them all out, then go home and eat a sandwich. If a person with any common sense knows someone who is factually and utterly batshit nuts, their first instinct is to walk lightly around them. And they will do their due diligence to keep from setting that person off!

So, if your bullies don’t really think you’re unstable, why then do they label you as such?

4. Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill:

To discredit you.

Your bullies aren’t clueless. They figure that eventually, you’re likely to get fed up with their crap. You will either report them or stand up to them.

And if everyone thinks you’re cray-cray, who’s going to take you seriously when you report the bullying?

5. To make you afraid to speak out or stand up to them.

They do it just in case you begin standing your ground or speaking out about the abuse. In other words, bullies employ this tactic to keep you quiet. Why?

Because if they can silence you, they can keep their reputations spotless. Moreover, if you know that people think you’re unstable, chances are that you’ll be too afraid to open your mouth about it.

And why not? Because you’re “mentally unstable,” people probably won’t believe you. They will only say that you probably have a severe case of paranoia.

6. To discourage you from defending yourself.

You’ll also be too afraid to fight back. If you do, you know that the bullies will only convincingly reverse roles and play victim.

Then, others will only assume that you went postal and hurt those poor, innocent bullies. Maybe they’ll think that you just threw a temper tantrum and began shouting and cursing people out for no reason. All because you’re “unhinged.”

 Again, it’s true that your bullies can never prove you’re mentally imbalanced. However, there’s also no way that you can confirm that you aren’t. And it’s why this label is just too easy to pen on someone and make stick. In fact, it shouldn’t be this easy and be so successful. But it is.

Do you see how this works?

Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill:

Your bullies don’t think you’re nuts, they think you’re weak.

They only push that label because weakness or helplessness has a certain allure. And your helplessness may compel others to come to your aid.

Helplessness sparks a natural tendency to take care of the helpless. However, people are less likely to help someone they deem mentally ill.

Bullies instinctively know this. So, they label you mentally unhinged to strip you of that allure and appeal.

With the mentally ill label, bullies are better able to avoid being held accountable. And if they can successfully dodge responsibility, they get to continue hurting you freely and with impunity.

Therefore, you must understand that there’s a method behind the label of mental instability. If you’re aware of the motives behind it, you’ll be able to catch it and counter them with it.

7. To control how others view you.

It’s the oldest and most used tactic in the book! My classmates were no different. Bullies will always come back at you with the “mentally ill” label to control how others see you. And they’ll do it when they can no longer control you.

You see? When bullies no longer have power over you, they become anxious. They see you as a threat. So, they become desperate and afraid.

Refusing to be manipulated sends several messages to your bullies. And these messages threaten their sense of superiority, positions, and power.

Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill:

What are these messages?

  • You see through their smokescreens.
  • You’re not afraid to tell them to go kick rocks.
  • You’re the opposite of what they think of you – strong and intelligent, not weak and foolish.
  • You put them in their place.
  • They can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.
  • You don’t give a crap about what they say or think anymore.
  • You couldn’t care less about their approval.
  • They don’t matter to you anymore.
  • You no longer accept their definitions of you.

Understand that bullies have an over-inflated sense of their own importance. Thus, they feel entitled to mistreat you. They despise being told no, and they loathe anyone who will not be controlled. So, they use the mental health label to stigmatize you.

Then they weaponize it to punish you.

Therefore, if they can’t manipulate you, they’ll manipulate your relationships and the way others perceive you.

In closing

Attaching the mental illness label to someone is the worst form of gaslighting there is.

Once you understand the reasons and motives behind the mental illness label, everything makes perfect sense. As a result, you will feel a lot more confident in defending yourself. You will no longer be afraid to speak out. And you will no longer care what others think.

Knowledge is power, and it can bring peace of mind.

This post was all about why bullies label you mentally ill so that you realize the motives behind it and will be encouraged to defend yourself anyway.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Mental Health Stigma: 5 Reasons Bullies Use It

2. Bullying Based on Mental Health: 9 Reasons Bullies Target Those with Mental Illness 

3. Weaponizing Mental Health: 7 Reasons Bullies Label You Mentally Ill 

4. Bullying Those with Mental Illness: 9 Reasons Why People Do It

5. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know 

low self-esteem causes reddit

Low Self-Esteem Causes: 3 Things that Crush Your Confidence

‘Want to know all the low self-esteem causes? Here are seven things that trigger low self-esteem, along with actions you can take to reverse them.

low self-esteem causes

Photos from Canva

Low self-esteem doesn’t just happen. It is caused. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the causes of low self-esteem so that you can heal yourself.

Once you learn all about these essential facts, you will be able to recognize the early warning signs and take steps to repair things early.

This post is all about low self-esteem causes so that you can take steps to save it when someone tries to put a dent in it.

Low self-Esteem CAuses

Insecurity and a lack of confidence are not characteristics that we’re born with. They are taught!

People begin chipping away at your self-esteem when you are a small child. Bullies and abusive family members can program it into you. This is no secret.

However, well-meaning family members can also give it to you. And they do it, thinking that they are teaching you humbleness and humility. Granted, these characteristics are both good virtues to have, but only in moderation.

Too much of it can cause you to suppress a little too much of yourself. When you’re too humble, you hide your own extraordinary personalities, talents, and gifts.

It can grow into insecurity and, in worst cases, self-loathing.

Low Self-Esteem is taught

Each one of us is born with confidence and a heart of gold. However, over time, your environment, circumstances, and sadly, the people in your life can slowly erode the natural confidence and goodness you were born with.

Once someone has hurt you so many times, you withdraw from others. You put up a barrier to protect yourself. And you turn cold and harden yourself to numb the feelings of rejection and pain.

Low Self-Esteem Causes:

The Slow Erosion of Self-Esteem

Before long, you regard others’ feelings and suffering with indifference. In other words, you don’t give a crap about anyone. You don’t care how they feel or what they think.

Sometimes, you even grow cold toward the people who love you because you lose the ability to trust them. You no longer have any respect for others, much less yourself.

Lastly, you arrive at that dark place where schadenfreude takes hold of your personality. And you secretly or openly take pleasure in seeing others, especially those you hate, suffer.

 Low Self-Esteem Comes From Not Knowing Who You Are

Abusive family members and bullies aren’t the only ones who can squash your self-esteem. Media, movies, music, and politicians can also cause you to feel bad about yourself.

You see those with a victim mentality, those running around in fear, and those who carry unnecessary guilt.

1. Fear.

Many politicians and news personalities try to cause fear in the masses. Bullies do the same. They instill fear in you by threatening physical harm or smear campaigns. All of them do it to keep you under their power.

Love Self-Esteem Causes:

2. Victimhood.

Media, politicians, and bullies also use the victim card to keep you down. Bullies also tell you that you can’t do anything to better your situation.

They try to convince you that you’re stuck with no way out. They also try to convince you that you’re their victim and always will be.

Politicians and media also try to convince certain ones that they’re victims and can’t rise above it. They also make them believe that others hate them and are blocking them from success.

If someone can convince you that you’re a victim and that there’s nothing you can do to change it, then you’re least likely even to want to try at anything. Right?

Again, they all do this to maintain power over them.

3. Guilt.

Media and politicians use guilt and gaslighting to control particular groups of people. Bullies also use guilt to control you.

Why? Because they all know that someone who feels guilty will do desperate things to prove they’re not guilty. A guilt-stricken person will bend over backwards to make up for their (perceived) transgressions.

For example, several years ago, we saw people kneeling before certain groups to virtue signal and prove they weren’t evil. And while these people were kneeling, those they were kneeling before only laughed. It was quite pathetic.

Bullies, media, and politicians will convince their targets that they’re inherently evil. They’ll send the message that somehow, the targets are responsible for the evil in the world.

When people believe their garbage, they will try to make up for things they haven’t done. Moreover, they sympathize with evil people; this is called suicidal empathy.

The reason for the term is that they may empathize with people who wish to kill them.

Low Self-Esteem Causes:

When you know who you are, you don’t need to prove it.

I want you to understand that you are not responsible for someone else’s unspeakable actions. ‘You see? Here’s the thing. If you know that you aren’t any of the things they call you, you don’t have to prove it.

You’ll refuse to demean yourself by bending over backwards and jumping through hoops to convince these idiots that you are not what they call you. Why? Because you know you don’t have to.

If you know who you are, what you stand for, and that you haven’t done anything wrong, you know. Your virtues are there whether others see them or not.

You’ll let your goodness and humanity speak for themselves. Let your truth do the talking for you. Stop being afraid of being labeled.

Stop being a victim.

If you think you’re a victim, stop this thinking. Realize that you have more power than you know. And if you want to change your life for the better, no one can stop you unless you let them.

If you’re carrying guilt that isn’t your burden to carry, stop it right now. Know that a fearful person who feels guilty is controllable. Don’t be that person!

Instead, be the person whose positivity, love, and good deeds speak for themselves. Remember that we’re all human beings deserving of dignity and love.

Remember, it all starts when we are children. Therefore, parents, here are ways to build your children’s self-esteem.

Low Self-Esteem CAuses:

Ways to Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Bullying can be devastating to a child’s self-esteem. And the damage can last a lifetime. It can harm their progress even into adulthood.

But understand that, if you aren’t abusive, you didn’t cause your child’s low self-esteem. It isn’t your fault. You and your child are innocent in this. However, you still must do some damage control.

Teach them kindness and empathy, yes. However, you also have work to do. You must teach the children confidence. Neither of you gets out of this without some degree of responsibility.

I realize that it isn’t fair that most of the confidence-building work must be done on the victim’s end. However, nothing in life is fair, and we can’t change that reality.

If your child is bullied, you still need to take action. You must do your part to ensure that the children’s confidence stays intact. Why? So that they can flourish.

Therefore, it’s up to parents to tip the confidence balance more in the kids’ favor.

Teaching children confidence means teaching them never to look to bullies for validity. Most of all, it means creating experiences for them that naturally balance out all the negative experiences they face at school.

To neglect this work would be devastating for our children! How do you build a child’s self-esteem?

1. Low Self-Esteem Causes:

Teach them never to seek validation from anyone who mistreats them.

Many victims mistakenly seek validation from the very people who crush it. This is a losing battle. Why? Because when you seek approval from bullies and their followers, they will let you down every time.

And it will only reinforce the low self-esteem they already have. Teach the kids to seek approval from the right people—those who love and care for them. Those people will affirm their validation, and their self-esteem will skyrocket.

2. Give them opportunities to make friends outside their toxic school environment.

For instance, your kid can join a martial arts class or a scout troop. Also, you can send them to summer camp. Maybe you can get them involved in a church group.

There are so many options available for victims of bullying to forge lasting friendships. And you will be amazed at just how it will help build their confidence and self-esteem.

Yes, kind words, encouragement, and verbal reinforcement of positivity are essential. However, giving kids the positive experiences that back up your well-meaning words will work doubly well.

Why? Because it will serve as confirmation that they really are good kids and give their self-esteem that extra boost.

So, give your little guy or little girl fun, exciting, and positive experiences that they can remember fondly! They will thank you for it later! I guarantee it!

3. Low Self-Esteem Causes:

When they tell you they’re being bullied, believe them.

One of the biggest causes of low self-esteem is when a child tells their parents they’re being bullied, and they don’t believe it. Or, they ask them to ignore it.

As a parent, you must be your child’s primary source of support. Moreover, you must teach them assertive and confident ways to respond to bullying attacks.

Ignoring them will not make bullies go away. However, a confident response will. And you’ll be surprised at how it boosts self-esteem.

This post was all about low self-esteem causes so that you will recognize them and take steps to guard your confidence.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs of Low Self-Esteem and How to Correct It

2. Guilt by Association Fallacy: How It Brings About Bullying

3. Causes of Bullying: 9 Proven Factors That Trigger Bullying

4. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

5. Confident Person Example: Who Are the Most Confident People?

bully-victims reddit

Bully-Victims: 4 Reasons Victims of Bullying Often Become Bullies

‘Want to know about bully-victims and reasons victims of bullying may resort to bullying those even weaker than them? Here’s everything about this phenomenon you need to know.

bully-victims

Photos from Canva

It’s hard to have empathy when you suffer constant bullying. Targets of bullying often get accused of being selfish and out for their own interests. However, anytime we are hurting so badly, it only blunts our capacity to feel for others.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bully-victims and why they may choose to bully those even weaker than themselves. You will also understand that, if you fall into this category, you can stop the behavior and handle the bullying you suffer more constructively.

Once you learn all about this vital information, you’ll be better able to spot a bully-victim or recognize the behavior in yourself and make changes.

This post is all about bully-victims, so you can recognize the behavior and identify victims who might have become bullies themselves and keep yourself from becoming one.

Bully-Victims

Anytime a person suffers severe and relentless bullying for so long, their pain overrides any ability to empathize with those around them, who may also be hurting.

Your pain is so great, it’s like lying in the emergency room with both legs broken after a car accident. The pain is so intense that you couldn’t care less about the patient in the next room. All you’re thinking of is how soon a doctor will see you and order a pain reliever.

I tell you this because it happened to me. When I was a target of bullying in school, two girls in my class died in a horrific car crash during the eleventh grade. As much as I hate admitting it today, I could not have cared less about it back then.

Naturally, I don’t feel the same today. Now, decades later, I’m sorry that happened to them. At the time it happened, I had absolutely no heart for the girls. I even had the attitude that it had served them right. I thought that maybe I’d get lucky and a few more bullies would drop dead soon.

I’m so glad that this attitude changed once I had my first child. I became sorry that those girls lost their lives. It’s funny how quickly you mature once you become a parent.

Back in school, I did not have it in me to care.

After a person endures bullying for a long time, they can become cold toward others. As a result, it will only bring about resentment from people who might otherwise offer love and support.

Therefore, if you are a target of bullying in school or at work, never let it take away your humanity. It won’t be easy, but do your level best to hold on to your empathy.

Bully-Victims:

Sometimes Bullied People Bully People

Bullying hurts. It’s not the physical beatings in the locker room. It isn’t people tripping you in the hallways, nor having your books knocked out of your arms. It isn’t the name-calling and threats, nor the rumors, lies, and smear campaigns. And it’s not the cruel jokes and pranks.

It’s the cumulative sum of all of it.

It leaves you with a sense that you’ve lost all control over your life. It is as if you no longer get a say in what happens to you. Bully-victims feel they have power over nothing!

Therefore, they become desperate – desperate to have power over something, anything! You soon begin to bully those who are even more vulnerable than you are.

Through your own victimization, you quickly learn that to keep from being so powerless, you must bully too. Therefore, by bullying you, bullies unwittingly teach you how to bully.

This is why we call these people bully-victims. Because they are both bullies and victims of other bullies, they bully to feel better about themselves and to ascend a few rungs up the social ladder.

On the other hand, pure bullies are individuals who don’t get bullied by others.

Bully-Victims:

Both Bullies and Victims.

Bully-victims are both bullies and victims of bullying by other bullies. And they bully far more than the pure bullies do because they have more to prove.

Bully-victims are far more hated and ostracized than pure bullies or pure victims. They’re lonelier and have few friends or none at all.

Bully-victims often resort to trickery and deceit. Many are pathological liars, cheats, fakes, and sneaks. They believe that humans are the lowest form of life on earth. Bully-victims tend to be Machiavellian. I certainly was.

Understand that bully-victims need help. They need someone to get it through their heads that just because people are bullying them doesn’t make it okay to bully someone else.

However, we must tell them lovingly and with patience. Why? Because they’re hurting inside and need someone to listen to them and gently guide them in the right direction.

It’s easy to become a bully when you’re a target of bullying.

It’s too easy! Because after others bully you for so long, you search for ways to buffer the pain. You search for a band-aid, any band-aid, even if it’s temporary!

Many targets become bullies themselves because they’re just plain tired of being powerless. They desire to have control over something —or someone. We all want to be in control of something because to have power over nothing is the very definition of hell!

And nothing renders you as powerless as being bullied by everyone. Once you become completely helpless, you’ll start looking for instant gratification and do anything to achieve some sense of power.

Again, in their cruel treatment of you, your bullies teach you that bullying another person is what it takes. You’ll think that it’s the only way to achieve that sense of control and to climb the social ladder.

Finding a victim of your own gives you the sense that you’re not on the bottom of the pecking order anymore. And you think, “Why not? It’s working for them (the bullies), so it should work for me too.”

The problem with this is that bullies are cowardly and pathetic. Therefore, if you bully someone else, it shows that you’re no better than they are!

Bully-Victims:

If you bully others because people bully you, you’re no better than your bullies.

In fact, it proves that you’re worse because you know firsthand how it feels and should know better. You must realize that no one else would feel any different from you if it were happening to them.

In fact, they may not be as resilient as you are and end up taking their own lives. Their blood would be on your hands!

I’m ashamed and sorry to have to tell you, but I did the same thing during my school days. Because I felt utterly powerless, I began to bully people I thought were weaker than me. I own that, and I have remorse for it now.

Take it from someone who’s tried it. If you become a bully and attack others, you may get a rush of power. However, it will last only briefly because it wears off quickly.

Then, you’ll be back to square one and looking for the next rush. You’ll seek your victim out again and again because you’ll always feel you must have more! It’s no different than having a drug addiction!

If bullying doesn’t come naturally to you, it will only eat away at your conscience!

I implore you! Instead of bullying people who look like prey, align with them. Become their friend and their protector. I guarantee you! You’ll feel much better about yourself.

More importantly, you’ll make a positive difference in their lives, and there’s no better feeling than that! Knowing that you’ve helped someone and made life better for them is more rewarding than you realize!

Realizing that you were possibly the difference that kept that person from ending their own life is a feeling so wonderful, words can’t describe it! I promise you!

Bully-Victims:

Here are 4 Reasons Victims of Bullying Become Bullies.

There are reasons victims of bullying become bullies. However, reasons are not excuses.

1. To get the negative spotlight off them and onto someone else.

“Don’t look at me, look at him!” This is why victims will bully someone else. If they can take the negative spotlight off themselves, they will anytime they get the chance.

As long as bullies are targeting someone else, they’re leaving you alone. Therefore, you bully someone else, hoping to divert the bully’s attention to the other victim.

2. So that they don’t feel like they’re the only ONES picked on.

No bullied victim wants to be the only one. It feels much better when someone else is being bullied right along with you. Misery loves company, and having someone to share your suffering provides a sense of comfort.

When someone else is being bullied like you are, your situation doesn’t feel so isolated. Therefore, the bullying becomes easier to bear. Why?

Because the bullying feels less like an individual defect. Therefore, it lessens some of the shame and isolation that often accompany being bullied. Also, when you see someone else enduring the same treatment, it validates your feelings and experiences.

It makes you feel stronger because you share something in common with the other person who endures bullying.

Bully-victims want that commonality with someone… anyone. It’s why they create other victims by bullying those who are weaker than they are.

3. Bully-Victims:

To Feel Like They Still HAVE a Little Bit of Power Left.

These kids bully because they are being bullied themselves, either in the home, at school, or both. They feel powerless. So, to reclaim some of the power, they seek out someone even weaker and bully them.

These individuals have a strong need to be in control of something in their lives. For example, a child is yelled at by his parents. Then he gets mad and kicks the dog. This is why I call this “Kicking the Dog.”

That child has lost control. So, he tries to create that sense of power by victimizing the dog.

4. To keep FROM being at the bottom of the social hierarchy.

No one wants to be at the bottom of the pecking order. As the age-old saying goes, to avoid being at the bottom, these types often find someone else to bully, so they don’t think they’re the ones stuck in the basement.

Again, nobody wants to be on the bottom. Everybody wants to be better than somebody. It’s a sad part of human nature.

“Shit rolls downhill and lands at the bottom.” Therefore, just as people are fighting like the devil to stay on top, others struggle just as hard to keep off the bottom.

Person A at the top bullies Person B, who is second from the top. Person B then bullies Person C, and so on. And down the pecking order, the nastiness rolls until it lands on Person Z at the bottom.

Then, everyone bullies Person Z because Person Z is defenseless! There’s no one for Person Z to bully because he’s the one with the least power of all the others.

Bully-victims:

No one wants to be on the bottom.

Anyone on the bottom is going to catch hell because they’re powerless. And others will do their best to keep the designated bottom-rat at the bottom because no one wants that position.

Therefore, everyone keeps Z down to ensure that none of them ever takes Z’s place.
That’s how it works, folks!

As long as someone else is on the bottom, it keeps you and everyone else safe from being there. It’s why bully-victims get bullied by pure bullies, then go on to select their own victims to degrade and humiliate.

However, most of the time, this doesn’t turn out well. Because sometimes, bully-victims become worse off than pure bullies or pure victims.

I tell you this because I did the same thing. I also became a bully after other bullies had harmed me for so long and stripped me of all my power. And I admit this today with tremendous sadness and remorse. I didn’t like myself very much back then. However, I’m glad that I don’t need to resort to such behavior today.

In Closing:

Remember that, if people bully you, you don’t have to become a bully yourself to survive or reclaim your power. There are better ways to take back control of your life.

I’ve found that the best way to do that is to befriend other victims of bullying and provide the support they need. It may not seem like it, but you aren’t the only one your bullies bully. There are others.

Find out who those people are and become the friend they need. Then, you both win!

This post is all about bully-victims so that you can recognize it in yourself and make the needed changes.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. When the Bullied Become Bullies

2. Bullying Survival Mode: 5 Things Victims of Bullying Do Wrong 

A woman who knows her worth is dangerous

A woman who Knows Her Worth: 7 Things She’ll Never Settle for

‘Want to know how to be a woman who knows her worth? Here are seven things you never settle for when you know your worth.

a woman who knows her worth

Photo from Canva

Throughout my lifetime, I’ve known many women who seemed to pick shady and nasty characters to date. I’m talking about smart and beautiful women who you know can do better if they were a little more selective!

Then there’s the woman who knows her worth. I’ve met these women too, and I discovered that there are things they won’t settle for.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to be a woman who knows her worth. Also, you’ll learn the 5 things you should never settle for.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be a powerful force to be reckoned with. In that, you will begin respecting yourself. As a result, you will also get the respect you deserve.

This post is all about how to be a woman who knows her worth so that you can command respect and get the best out of life. Moreover, bullies will think twice before they mess with you.

A Woman who Knows Her Worth

This woman knows her value, and she knows that she is high-value. Therefore, there are people and things that she absolutely will not settle for. Here are seven of these things.

1. Partners who don’t value her.

A woman who knows her worth won’t settle for some no-count loser who doesn’t treat her well. I’ve known women who did, though. And I’ve seen their partners degrade them and try to control them.

Insecure women think that they can change their no-good partners. Maybe they think that he has “potential.” Therefore, they tell themselves those lies to keep from being alone.

They tell themselves that the partner is just going through a rough patch. They fool themselves into thinking that, eventually, he’ll do better. Again, this is how they end up letting these toxic men drag them down.

But a woman who knows her worth will never date beneath her standards. She knows she’s better off alone than with some creep who wants to dominate her. Therefore, she won’t put up with shabby treatment to keep a partner around.

Instead, she’ll drop him and move on with her life. She knows that her time is valuable. Therefore, she doesn’t waste her time with a partner who doesn’t value her or the good she brings.

So, she won’t settle or continue a relationship with someone who disrespects her and takes her for granted. She’ll stay by herself until she finds someone who cherishes her.

2. A woman who KNOWS her worth doesn’t settle for a PARTNER who IS broke and jobless.

This woman won’t give her time to any guy who is broke, jobless, or working dead-end jobs.

Guys who are in and out of jail and who always have their women post bail for them are a definite no-go. This is because this woman is wise. She knows that this becomes a pattern for men like these.

Therefore, she won’t choose some scrub she’ll likely have to support. She won’t do as insecure women do and pay his bills and try to make life easier for them. No.

She wants a man who is responsible for his life and who can provide for her. Not some loser she’d have to spend all her hard-earned money to keep out of jail.

Instead, she’d rather be alone than put up with some lazy piece of crap who does nothing but keep her broke and stressed out.

Therefore, she won’t date someone who doesn’t have their shit together.

3. Friends who stab her in the back.

This woman chooses her friends wisely. She doesn’t settle for jealous frenemies who are secretly out to derail her from her goals.

She avoids backstabbers, mean girls, and shrews like the plague. Why? Because she’s dealt with many of them and has no desire to ever deal with these types of women again.

She knows that they would only drain her confidence, wreck her self-esteem, and suck the life out of her. Therefore, she has nothing to do with these broads.

4. A woman who knows her worth will never be a side-chick

This woman will never date a guy who’s already taken. Why? Because she knows that she is so much more than that. Therefore, she refuses to play second fiddle. No way will she pick up another woman’s sloppy seconds!

She knows that if she does, she’ll only set herself up to be the last choice in a man’s life. Therefore, she won’t settle for the crumbs under the table when she’s worthy of having the whole meal at the table.

She’s content to wait until a partner of her own finds her. Therefore, married men need not apply.

She’s smart enough to know that if a man will cheat on his wife, he’ll eventually cheat on her. Also, sleeping with another woman’s husband is the same as wearing her underwear. Ewww! Therefore, if a married man hits on her, she’ll quickly tell him to get lost.

There’s no dignity in being a side chick.  This woman knows this. Therefore, she won’t reduce herself to that. No way will she cheapen herself by eating another woman’s leftovers.

5. Catty Women Who Bully her and drag her down.

It’s rarely the not-so-good women and butt-floss-wearing females who get targeted for bullying. It seems that it’s mostly the girls who are discreet and have self-respect that people treat the worst.

But why?

The running narrative is that anything goes, and that showing belly, boobs, and butt is what it takes to get a man. However, here’s the reality. No guy worth his salt would even consider a long-term relationship, much less marriage, with such a woman.

Another reason is that many people believe that classy women are old-fashioned and boring. They prioritize the wrong things nowadays (attention, approval, admiration, and popularity).

So, they’re all for engaging in indecent behavior and stripping down to nothing if it will get them lots of those social benefits. Why? Because bullies are all about having followers who idolize and worship them as they sneer at others who aren’t ratchet like they are.

Here’s a third reason a woman who knows her worth might get bullied.

Because she’s a lady, and a good, classy, down-to-earth lady respects herself too much to kneel before anyone. On the other hand, the arrogant she-bullies are more than likely the butt-cheek baring, all-eyes-on-me, girls.

A woman who knows her worth doesn’t have to work so hard to get attention.

And a lady deems attention-seekers to be of the lowest common denominator. Therefore, such females aren’t worth her time, and the she-bullies know that and are angered by it.

Reason number four is that the ladies end up being the winners. They don’t have to resort to cheapening themselves to get male attention or to fit in. Moreover, they don’t accept attention from the cheap tomcats who crawl up behind the she-bullies.

The beautifully decorated, yet half-naked she-bullies are a dime a dozen. The she-bully only attracts the dogs. They draw the beta-men who only pose as alphas, and the cheap playboys who are only there to hit it, then quit it.

It’s the women who are ladies who attract the real men.

A lady is a keeper. She’s not a one-date wonder or a one-night stand. She knows she’s worth more than just her body. The lady doesn’t care what petty people think of her.

She doesn’t give a hoot that the she-bullies and their tomcats look down their noses at her because they don’t matter to her.

It is the lady, the once-bullied classy chick and good girl, who will score a high-value man. Why? Because she is a high-value woman.

A woman who knows her worth is a principled woman.

This lady will live a good life because she has good morals that she chooses to live by. And the morals they have are, in fact, so strong that they’re unchanged by the decaying society in which we unfortunately live.

Instead of fitting in by being half-naked, the lady will stand out by keeping her clothes on. This doesn’t mean she dresses like a nun, but she keeps it classy. And that’s why she’s already ahead of the game.

She-bullies are only good for a one-time roll in the sack. Ladies, on the other hand, are wife-for-life material.

They don’t let the desire to fit in cause them to relax their values, their morals, their beliefs, and their convictions. These women hold on to their standards.

Therefore, if you’re one of those women, you may be feeling lonely now.  But the things about you that your bullies ridicule will be the very qualities that real people, with strong beliefs and values, will cherish. You just wait!

6. A job that drains her.

She won’t work for anyone who drains her energy and crushes her spirit. Toxic bosses will be surprised when she hands in her resignation. Bullying coworkers might feel relieved when she quits.

But that’s only because they were all afraid she’d make them look like the incompetent fools they are. And now they don’t have to worry about that.

7. A woman who knows her worth rejects anything that doesn’t fulfill her.

This woman will have nothing to do with anything or anyone who doesn’t fill her with purpose. She quickly discards what doesn’t feed her soul. She has no time for false friends, female bullies, backstabbers, abusive partners, and other toxic people.

Why? Because she loves herself and she knows her worth. She also knows that life is short and it’s a one-shot deal. Therefore, she does what she must do to make it count.

This post is all about the things that a woman who knows her worth WOULDN’T settle for so that you can follow her lead, snub the bullies, and live your best life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Female Bullies: 7 Reasons They Bully Other Women and Girls

2. Catty Women: 5 Powerful Ways to Deal with Their Bullying

3. Know Your Worth As a Woman: 5 Rules to Live by

4. How to Deal with a Bullying Partner

5. Why You Should Love Yourself: 10 Things that Happen if You Don’t  

bullying and ego psychology

Bullying and Ego: Why Bullies Won’t Let You Go

‘Want to know why bullying and ego are so tightly connected? Here are all the details you need to know.

bullying and ego

Photos from Canva and Dreamstime

Bullying stems from ego. Moreover, many bullies feel the need to get that ego boost at your expense because they can’t control their own lives. So they seek to get control of yours. If you’re a victim of bullying, especially if you have been for a long time, you too may feel as if you have no control over your life.

To take back your power, you must first know where bullying comes from and its underlying causes. Therefore, in this post, you will learn about bullying and ego and how they connect.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, it will compel you to stand up to your bullies once and for all and stop being the food that feeds their over-inflated egos.

This post is all about all the ways bullying and ego connect, so that you will get angry and take steps to grab your power back.

Bullying and Ego

If people are bullying you and have been doing so for a long time, you may feel powerless. You may think that you have lost complete control over your life. And, in truth, you have.

Powerlessness is the sense that you have no control over what happens to you. It diminishes your sense of security.

And for bullies to take away your power, they must crush your ego to feed theirs.

For Bullies to Feel Powerful, they must make you powerless.

In other words, they must chip away at your power and self-esteem for long enough that they reduce you to feeling like, “it’s out of my hands.” This takes time. But bullies are relentless, and worst of all, patient.

Bullies are empowered by stripping away your power. In fact, it’s the only way they can achieve power. When you stand up to them, they are left to deal with their own mental issues.

By riding roughshod over you, they don’t have to think about their own flaws and shortcomings. Instead, they can continue to convince themselves that they’re the alpha dogs.

Therefore, they gradually increase the attacks until they subdue you. Once they do this, you begin to feel like you have no control over your life. And, if you have that feeling for long enough, it can induce hopelessness.

This is what bullies hope for. Why? Because once they drive you to hopelessness, they’ll induce learned helplessness. In other words, you’ll likely stop fighting back and surrender to them. And that’s when they’ve got you!

Bullies know human nature like the backs of their hands. They know what works and what doesn’t. If they can’t get you one way, they’ll get you another.

Therefore, they’ll experiment with you by trying different kinds of attacks until they find the one that works on you. Then they’ll stick to what works.

Your bullies will slowly intensify their abuse to wear you down. And once they wear you down, you’ll likely give up.

Bullying and Ego:

Where do hopelessness and Learned Helplessness come from?

Hopelessness and learned helplessness don’t come from bullying and abuse per se. No. They stem from the inability to escape it. 

In 1967, Overmier and Seligman experimented on dogs to prove that learned helplessness was a real phenomenon. They locked the dogs in cages and then subjected them to electric shocks.

Naturally, the dogs tried to run away – to escape the painful shocks. However, the two scientists prevented the dogs from escaping.

Therefore, when the dogs realized that there was no way they could run from the shocks, they began cowering and showing signs of depression.

The dogs endured anywhere from twenty-four hours to one hundred sixty-eight hours of imprisonment and shocks. Finally, the researchers opened the doors to their cages and allowed them to go free.

However, the dogs didn’t attempt to flee. The dogs were broken. They only continued whimpering and cowering in the corners of their cages, even with the doors wide open.

The same happens to you after you’ve suffered bullying for long enough and have no way to escape it. You lose hope, and learned helplessness creeps in.

As a result, you stop defending yourself because you realize that it does no good. Again, this is what your bullies count on. So, when you stand up to them, things usually get worse before they get better.

Bullying and Ego:

Your powerlessness feeds your bullies’ egos.

Power is addictive. And bullies are insecure people with fragile egos. They’re insecure people in control.

As long as they can keep you worn down, where you accept their abuse, they have power over you. And the longer they have power over you, the more addicted they become to it.

Again, their pathetic little egos feed off of controlling you. And the more they feed their egos at your expense, the stronger that power-addiction becomes.

However, once you get an ass full and decide to stand up to the creeps, you take back your power. Then your bullies become outraged. Why? Because you have taken away the very thing they’ve become addicted to.

“How dare you!”

What happens when you take your power back?

How does someone who’s addicted to drugs act when you suddenly cut them off from their drug supply? They climb the walls!

It’s the same with bullies when you defend yourself and take back your power – the drug they’re addicted to.

Therefore, to bring you back under their control, your bullies might put on the nice act and become apologetic. However, this doesn’t happen often because bullies are prideful.

In most cases, your bullies will increase the abuse. They will reinforce their power by punishing you for defending yourself. For instance, verbal bullies begin verbally assaulting you, and you counter them with a good burn.

Your bullies may dial up the abuse by giving you a good beating. It’s a fact that most verbal bullies become physical bullies. And this is why.

Also, many bullies will come up behind you and give you a hard shove if you turn your back and walk away from them.

They become even more abusive to bring you back under their control. Moreover, they will gaslight you. If they don’t deny the abuse, they’ll try to convince you that you brought it on yourself.

Bullying and Ego:

This is why you should never stop standing up for yourself.

When you stand up to bullies, you are setting boundaries. Bullies despise boundaries of any kind. Remember that bullies have gargantuan egos. They think that you should give them carte blanche to walk over you any time they feel like it.

Therefore, expect them to try to wear you down with endless attacks at first. Because, believe me, they will! And, no matter how exhausted you may become, don’t stop fighting for yourself.

You must continue to defend yourself. Because if you give up because you’re tired, the bullying will get worse. As long as you stay in the fight, you have a good chance of wearing your bullies out instead.

Trying to keep someone down is hard work, especially if they defend themselves. When you stand up to bullies, you don’t make it easy on them. Instead, you make them have to work.

You must be a force to be reckoned with.

Therefore, you must be such a huge challenge for them that they get tired. In fact, you must be willing to inflict a lot of pain on them in the process.

Therefore, the worse they bully you, the worse you fight back. When they attack you, you counterattack them harder. When they hit you, you hit back harder.

You must give your bullies consequences they’ll never forget. Moreover, you must inflict so much pain on them that they won’t even think of messing with you again.

Why? Because bullies don’t respond to politeness. You can’t reason with bullies. No amount of diplomacy will stop them. Bullies only mock you, then keep right on bullying you.

The only thing bullies respond to is strength and power. When you handle them with strength, that’s when they pay attention. When you impose painful consequences on them, they’ll listen up. Believe me!

You must make yourself too painful to deal with. You must be too much of a problem to handle. Only then will your bullies decide that you aren’t worth the trouble and leave you alone.

Why? Because when you can make them think, “Oh, shit! I don’t want none of that,” that’s when you won’t have to worry about them ever coming for you again.

Bullies are cowards. Bullying is what cowards do. If you can make them fear you, they won’t even look in your direction. And if you can make bullies not want to mess with you, then no one else will either. This is how you earn respect.

This post is all about bullying and ego so that you will be motivated to stand up to bullies.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Causes of Bullying: 9 Proven Factors That Trigger Bullying

2. How to Overcome Learned Helplessness: 5 Ways to Empower Yourself

3. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People

4. The Bullied Brain: 7 Ways Bullying Affects Mental Health 

bullying characteristics in the workplace

Bullying Characteristics: 10 Bullying Behaviors to Be Aware of

Want to know all the characteristics of bullying? Here is all the information you need.

bullying characteristics

Photo from Canva

Bullying exhibits both evident and subtle characteristics.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about several bullying characteristics so that you can recognize them immediately and deal with them accordingly.

Once you learn all about this game-changing information, you will be able to notice bullying when it happens and stand up to it confidently.

This post is all about recognizing bullying characteristics, so you can identify even subtle forms of bullying when they occur and defend yourself against bullies.

Bullying Characteristics

If you watch closely, you will notice that bullies and bullying have certain characteristics. Here’s what they are.

1. Craving Power and control over others.

One of the main characteristics of bullying is the desire to have power and control over others. Most bullies can’t control their own lives. Therefore, to compensate for this, they seek to exert power and control over their victims.

Now, bullies know that they can’t ride roughshod over just anyone. Therefore, they are very careful in who they select to take power over. In other words, bullies choose their victims wisely.

Therefore, if they choose you, let them know that they chose the wrong person to bully. Stand up for yourself. Make them regret they ever looked in your general direction!

2. Targeting those who are weaker.

Picking on those who display weakness is also one of the main characteristics of bullying.

For example, school bullies often target individuals who are weaker than they are. These are kids with low self-esteem and those who are shy.

Additionally, they may target individuals who are physically smaller and weaker than they are, those lacking social skills, and loners.

Why? Because these are the students who are least likely to defend themselves. Children with low self-esteem may believe that they don’t deserve respect. Therefore, they don’t fight back.

Smaller kids may be too afraid to stand up to bigger bullies. And those who have the least social intelligence may not know how to stand up for themselves.

Therefore, these kids are the most susceptible to being bullied.

They rarely pursue other students who are confident and have healthy self-esteem. The reason they are selective is that they are cowards. They know that the confident students will likely stand up to them.

Therefore, bullies like to pick easy targets. If you are one of those victims, start standing up for yourself. And do it with strength!

3. Bullying Characteristics:

Trying to Bring down those who are confident.

This happens mainly in the workplace. School bullies go after the weak. However, workplace bullies are different than school bullies.

Bullies at work like to target coworkers who threaten their positions. Therefore, they target the people who are the most confident and knowledgeable.

Now, bullies on the job may target those who are weaker. However, they primarily target the confident and competent coworkers.

Why? Because they are highly jealous of those who outshine them. Remember that workplace bullies are often trying to advance in the corporate hierarchy. And they do this by taking down anyone who performs better than they do.

For instance, if you are confident and intelligent, they may undermine your confidence by pointing out your mistakes during a meeting. They may also talk over you to make you look weak.

Here’s how you defend yourself against this form of bullying. When the bully talks over you, keep speaking. Don’t pause, no matter how hard it may be not to. Also, stay confident. You do this by knowing where the bullying comes from.

4. Psychological Warfare.

Physical bullying is too apparent. Therefore, most seasoned bullies in school and adults at work use psychological warfare against you.

Moreover, psychological bullying is one of the least noticeable characteristics of bullying. So, why do the most talented bullies use psychological tactics to bully you?

It’s because psychological bullying doesn’t leave any bruises or cuts. In other words, it’s the least evident and hardest to prove.

Psychological bullies bully by inflicting verbal abuse. They may also spread rumors and lies to tarnish your reputation and destroy your relationships.

Again, counter this kind of bullying. If it’s verbal, counter it. If it’s social bullying, stay true to yourself. This will reveal who your true friends are.

5. Bullying Characteristics:

Relational Bullying

The destruction of relationships and severing social connections are also characteristics of bullying. Moreover, they are forms of psychological bullying.

Bullies destroy your relationships and social life by spreading rumors and lies about you. They sow division between you and your friends by telling them that you’re talking badly about them behind their backs.

Moreover, bullies in power may threaten to harm your friends if they continue to associate with you. Why do they do this?

They do this to instill fear in your friends, hoping they will turn against you.

The reasons bullies do this are to isolate you and cut you off from any support. Your bullies know that if they can do this, the least likely people will stand up for you.

And they realize that the best way to keep others from aligning with you is to alienate you from them. They alienate you by instilling fear in your friends and loved ones.

Moreover, they know that if they plant seeds of doubt in your friends’ and loved ones’ minds about you, they have better chances of turning these people against you.

If your bullies can turn everyone against you, then they get to bully you anytime they want without the risk of turning everyone against them.

To protect against this kind of bullying, stay true to yourself. Those who genuinely like and love you won’t fall for their garbage. And those who do will only reveal their true slimy selves to you.

6. Bullying Characteristics:

Verbal Bullying

There are two ways bullies may verbally abuse you. They may be sneaky about it. Or, if they’re brazen, they may do it openly.

However, they do it, bullies verbally assault you to tear down your confidence and make you feel bad about yourself. Verbal bullying is a form of brainwashing.

Why? Because it can cause you to doubt your worth. All they have to do is inflict the abuse repeatedly and for long enough.

And the more they repeat it, the more likely you are to start believing them. Bullies know that if they can get you to believe them, then you’ll likely live up to it.

And if you live up to it, then they’ll no longer have to work so hard. Why? Because you’ll begin confirming what they claim to have known all along.

That you really are no good!

Therefore, to prevent this from happening, please counter this type of bullying. Say something back. For instance, if the bully tells you that you aren’t worth a damn, you can say, “Maybe to you I’m not, but to many others, I’m the world.”

7. Non-Verbal Bullying

Non-verbal bullying is bullying through gestures and body language. Bullies may also use facial expressions to let you know that they’re watching you.

For instance, a bully may glare at you. They may stare you down. And, they may do it for a long time, without blinking.

Why do bullies do this? Simple. They do it to dominate and intimidate their victims.

Your bully may also pound their fist into the palm of their opposite hand. They may flip you off.  Also, they might look at you, then take their thumb and make a cutting throat motion.

Understand that all these gestures and expressions are designed to intimidate you.

Moreover, non-verbal bullying is sneaky. Bullies use this kind of bullying to keep others from catching them in the act.

How you stand up to this kind of bullying is to mirror the same body language back to the bully. For example, if the bully gives you a dirty look, return the gesture.

8. Bullying Characteristics:

Keeping victims confused

Being bullied by someone who is passive-aggressive is the most demeaning and humiliating experience for a person. I say this because when these types of people insult you, they’re slick about it.

They catch you off guard. They taunt you in such a way that it can be tricky to figure out who it’s aimed at. Sometimes, you don’t even know it’s directed at you. That is, until it’s too late for you to deliver a good comeback.

Why? Because the bully may not necessarily address it to you.

While you may be unaware, any bystanders nearby will immediately know who the covert nastiness is meant for. It’s funny how we tend to see more clearly from the outside.

What’s so terrible about this is that the stealthy insults are usually hurled at you in front of an audience. Moreover, they can quickly fly over your head. And you end up looking weak and like a clueless idiot for not catching it in time.

Even though the bully’s words are vague and unclear, they will still nibble at your self-esteem. They will take a chunk out of your pride whether you want them to or not.

Why? Because you usually figure it out sooner or later. It only goes to prove how vicious these covert attacks can be.

But understand that although the bully and a few others might think he is witty. Even if the creep slapped you with a good burn, there are reasons why they’re so slick with the mouth.

It’s because, again, they’re cowards. And, again, they want to confuse you to keep you from standing up to them.

But stand up to them anyway. There are ways you can stand up to this type of bullying.

9. Bullying Characteristics:

Physical Bullying

Physical bullies may beat you up to make you do what they want. Understand that this is a weakness because people only submit because they don’t want to get whipped.

In other words, they never do it because they want to, but to keep themselves safe from harm.

True influence is when someone does something for you because they genuinely want to do it. When people have a choice, and they choose to do something you want, the result is so much more rewarding.

Understand that these bullies see everything as zero-sum. They either have total control or no control at all. There’s no in-between. If they can’t have complete influence, they feel ineffective and powerless.

Bullies usually get physical when they’ve tried everything else. In other words, when nothing else works, they turn to physical abuse as a last resort.

Anytime someone physically attacks you, you must defend yourself. Also, you can call the police. Whatever you do, don’t just do nothing. You must stand against this type of bullying.

10. Cyber-Bullying

Cyber-bullying is the most malicious and dangerous form of bullying. This is because a much wider audience sees the attacks. Also, there’s a high degree of anonymity. Why? Cyberbullies hide behind fake screen names and profiles to avoid exposure.

Cyberbullies are cowards. They fear being detected for the sick creeps they are. So, they use your private message inbox to unleash their vitriol onto you.

Even if you delete the person from your friends’ list, they can still flame you through the inbox.

Many cyberbullies think that you will be so emotional that you won’t think to take a screenshot of the message. Therefore, they will be emboldened to continue this behavior until you properly address the situation.

So, stay calm. Never react to the vile messages by sending evil messages of your own. Don’t call them names, even if they start name-calling you. Do not react by cursing the cyberbully out or using all caps.

Instead, don’t respond. Just delete and block them. They may make more fake accounts. However, block them too.

We only covered 10 bullying characteristics. But there are more.  You must prioritize your safety. Defending yourself against bullying is the best way to make it stop.

This post was all about bullying characteristics so that you can recognize them and stand up to them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Psychological Abuse Tactics: 9 Mind Games Seasoned Bullies Use 

2. The Perfect Victim: 9 Traits Bullies Look for in Potential Targets 

3. Cyberbullying Tactics: 9 Common Tricks of Cyber-Bullies and Trolls