bullying culture at work

Bullying Culture: When Bullying is the Status Quo

‘Want to know whether your school or workplace has a bullying culture? Here are all the things you should watch for.

bullying culture

Schools, workplaces, and even communities with a bullying culture can make for environments that are toxic and foster a sense of danger. In these kinds of environments, people tend to operate under the “laws of the jungle.”

The mentality is that “might makes right” and that you can only attain power through the use of brute force. Moreover, these toxic environments can negatively impact not only your mental health but your physical health as well.

In this post, you will learn how to read the environment and recognize whether you’re in a toxic environment with a culture of bullying.

Once you learn all the bad signs, you will be able to decide what measures you must take to keep yourself safe and if you even want to remain in this type of environment.

This post is all about bullying culture and how to recognize it so that you can take steps to better protect yourself.

Bullying Culture

Schools, workplaces, and communities that have this type of culture are places where people accept bullying. In other words, they consider it a normal part of life.

Moreover, the torment of a particular person can become status quo or habit­ with classmates because it has already gone unchecked. If you’re this “particular person,” know that you are in danger and should take steps to leave the environment.

You must go someplace new, where you can start fresh and be safe. I’ll explain further as we go.

In toxic places, the bullying of a certain individual is like a cancer that grows and spreads. In other words, like cancer, it always starts out small.

How It Progresses

The Early Stages:

For example, a bully scans the environment, seeking whom he can torment. When they spots a potential victim, they test the waters by way of small, snarky comments, backhanded or compliments.

They will take tiny nibbles at you, which are so subtle, they’ll be unnoticeable to others. However, they’ll make you feel uncomfortable.

Therefore, realize that bullies do this to see how you react. If you do nothing, the bullies will only see this as a green light to continue bullying you. This is when they will select you as their target.

Bullies then put the word out that you’re an easy target. Word soon spreads throughout the entire school, company, or community that you’re ripe for bullying. Therefore, a few others will join in.

Bullying Culture:

However, heed this warning!

If others continue bullying you over a certain amount of time, without repercussions, the abuse will become the status quo.

Even in as little time as short as a few weeks, it will likely become customary for these people to bully you.  And once it becomes the status quo, it’s almost impossible to defend yourself without encountering a ton of resistance and reprisals.

Therefore, the trick is to stand up for yourself immediately. You must do it before people grow accustomed to tormenting you because once they do, it’s likely too late.

For example, people have bullied you for years. You finally get fed up, put your foot down, and stand up to your bullies. The abuse has gotten out of control and now, you refuse to bow down any longer.

One of your bullies takes it as a challenge and physically attacks you, only for you to beat the living hell out of them.

However, instead of accepting that you beat the crap out of them and going away, the bullies are outraged! They can’t accept that they got punked by someone they thought was inferior to them.

Therefore, they plot to re-enforce their power by retaliating. Not only do they want to re-enforce their dominance, they also have an insatiable desire to punish you severely.

How dare you! How dare you challenge their authority over you! This is the prevailing thought.

Bullying Culture

Middle Stages:

As time goes by, the torment you endure becomes more of a regular, everyday occurrence. Therefore, more and more people will assume that it’s okay to bully you.

You’ll notice that the taunts and verbal bullying grow more severe until they morph into physical attacks. Once this happens, others will become more and more brutal with their violence.

For example, they make begin with tripping you or running into you “accidentally on purpose.” The next thing you know, they are shoving you against the wall or to the floor.

After this goes on for a week or two, people begin punching and kicking you. Then, once they get bored with doing this, they graduate to brutally beating and choking you.

Thus, the attacks become harder to combat.

At the same time, the bullies and everyone else employ smear campaigns and set you up to get into trouble with authority.

Sadly, this set the stage for TDS, target derangement syndrome or you could call it VDS (victim derangement syndrome. Why, because, by this stage, everyone fosters a sick hatred for you.

Therefore, you have difficulty getting help and protecting yourself.

Again, heed this warning! Any time bullying is allowed to continue, it becomes a habit- a ritual. In other words, people get used to seeing it.

Therefore, when you muster up the spunk to say or do anything to assert, defend, or stand up for yourself, you are going against a status quo.

And once you dare to go against any status quo, you had better prepare yourself for an all-out war!

This is why the best time to defend yourself is during the early stages!

Bullying Culture

Late Stages:

The bullying has now become a ritual. In other words, people habitually bully you and have internal motivations to do so.

Moreover, they feel that bullying you brings a positive effect (on them). Put another way, they may think that abusing you is for the good of the school, workplace or community.

Therefore, the violence has become the status quo in the environment. Others refuse to help you because bullies have discredited you.

Moreover, the long-term abuse you have suffer has desensitize everyone else. Some openly enjoy seeing people persecute you. Also, because of the smear campaigns, they hold the widely-spread belief that you’re trouble. Yet, they don’t know how or why?

The prevailing thought is, “Well, no one likes you anyway, so there has to be some justification to it.”.

Therefore, they have set the power dynamic firmly put in place and they do desperate things to maintain the status quo.

Bullying Culture

Late-Late Stages:

In this stage, it’s almost impossible to defend yourself. Why? Because you’ve waited too long. Therefore, your bullies are comfortable with abusing you and bystanders have grown comfortable with seeing it.

You are a victim! And people refuse to see you as anything but.

When you become a victim, others either consciously or subconsciously expect you to stay one. They expect you to put your head down and take the abuse.

In other words, if you even attempt to grow a spine, they will do everything in their power to break it.

This is because any semblance of change frightens bullies, as it does most people. What frightens bullies the most is a change in the power dynamic which has long been set.

They want you to stay a victim because, “it’s just the way things are done here.”.  Also, bullies benefit from victimizing you. Therefore, and they don’t want to lose those benefits.

The advantages can be social status, gratification, satisfaction, or entertainment.

Furthermore, people come to believe that they have a right to abuse you. Moreover, they believe that they have absolute authority over you. Therefore, they feel entitled to inflict misery on you.

In the mind of a bully, you don’t have the right to undermine, nor question their power and authority. Therefore, you should just shut your mouth and take it.

Sadly, it is in this stage that you either live in misery, get murdered, leave the environment, or takes your own life.

In Conclusion:

I hope that you choose to leave the environment and go someplace where you can start fresh, heal, and begin rebuilding your life.

Therefore, this bears repeating. You absolutely MUST address it early on, as soon as you begin to see a pattern forming. Do not make the same mistake many do and let it get so bad that you either fear for, or want to end your own life.

Here’s another thing to consider. If the bullying has gone on too long and you’ve tried standing up for your rights to no avail. It’s probably time to find a way to leave the environment. Granted, this may not be feasible. However, it might be the only way for you to finally be safe.

This is an absolute must!

This post was all about bullying culture, how you recognize it and what you must do to ensure your safety. Also, the purpose of this post is to instill in you the importance of taking action during the early stages.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Non Verbal Bullying: Hostile Body Language Head to Toe

2. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

3. The 4 Stages of Bullying

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

5. Asserting Boundaries: The Pros Outweigh the Cons

gaslighting at work

Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For

Want to know how to spot gaslighting at work, especially if it happens to you? Here are the classic indicators of workplace gaslighting so that you can know when it’s time to update your resume and plan your escape before your job and entire career take a huge hit.

gaslighting at work

Gaslighting at work is no joke. If you’ve been on the receiving end of it like I have, you’re wondering how to spot it. Then you can know when it’s time to plan your exit carefully.

You will learn about the signs of gaslighting at work so you can better protect yourself.

After learning about all these surefire indicators, you will be better equipped to decide whether to dust off your resume and get out of that toxic work environment.

This post is all about gaslighting at work. This post will give you the symptoms that every job applicant and employee with any integrity should know about

Gaslighting at work: Signs to watch for

Gaslighting is gaslighting regardless of where it happens. It is a type of manipulation that makes you doubt your own sanity. And it makes you feel like you’re going out of your mind.

Although it happens at home and at school, it can also happen in the workplace.  Workplace bullies will gaslight you to avoid accountability for their own behavior. So, what are the signs?

1. The person doing the gaslighting is usually someone higher up.

When gaslighting happens at work, it’s usually management that uses it to abuse employees. In many cases, they use charm and deceit to gaslight. Therefore, it can be hard to spot it while it’s happening.

Supervisors and managers will often use their authority as leverage. This discourages employees from challenging them. And it’s why many don’t report bullying at work.

Also, the gaslighted employee is more than likely suffering workplace bullying and mobbing. The employee may be under so much stress that they may be unable to think straight.

And when you can’t think straight, it’s harder to identify gaslighting when it happens.

People in authority gaslight simply because of their positions of power.  Why? Because they know an employee’s word carries little weight.

Also, lower-level employees face greater threats of job loss.

It’s not about right and wrong. It’s about Hierarchy.

Understand that in any case of gaslighting at work, it’s not about right and wrong. It’s about hierarchy. Therefore, the unspoken message is this.

“We’re in charge, you’re not. So we can beat our chests and get away with it. And your best bet is to shut up and take the abuse. Or, you can go to work somewhere else.”

“And good luck with that, by the way! You still have to list us as a work reference. So, not only can we fire your butt, but we can also block you from finding work.”

Sadly, there are some truly psychotic managers out there. And they’re a force to be reckoned with.

However, if you remain calm and know what to look for, you can spot gaslighting. If a boss is gaslighting you, your best recourse will be to gather evidence.

Next, you can put in your two-week or thirty-day notice. Finally, once you leave, you can get another job. And the best part is that you’re free to sue the pants off the company.

2. the gaslighter is vague in their instructions.

Bullies use vagueness as a weapon. Therefore, bullying bosses are always vague in their instructions. Understand that they do this deliberately.

It’s a slick way for them to withhold information that’s vital to your job performance. Moreover, workplace bullies do this to make you appear incompetent.

Remember this. If a bully boss has it in for you, they’ll be looking for any excuse to fire you.

Therefore, look for them to be as vague as possible when they tell you how to perform your job. They will intentionally leave out important details.

Later, they will chew you out in public to make you look like a moron. This is just another form of gaslighting at work.

When this happens, it’s best to polish your resume. You want to get out of there before things get worse. And believe me, they are about to get worse, much worse.

Therefore, it’s better to head it off before it destroys your career.

3. gaslighting in the workplace also includes a disregard of company policy.

For instance, you get hurt on the job and file a report. And the supervisor “accidentally” forgets to send it through the proper channels.

Then, he will accuse you of failing to report an on-the-job accident. Therefore, this provides the evil boss with just another excuse to get rid of you.

And who’s the upper management going to believe? You or the supervisor? I think you already know the answer to that question.

This is why you should always make copies of the accident report. You will save yourself a truckload of trouble.

Again, gather your own evidence and plenty of it. Then, when another job opportunity comes open, get the hell out of there.

Once you leave that hell-hole and you’re clear of any of the bullies, then haul them into court.

4. moving the goalposts is another form of gaslighting at work.

If you’re lucky enough to reach a company goal, your bully boss will move the goalposts. They do this on purpose to make you look slow.

You may exceed goals time and time again. But your bully boss may view your successes as threats to his job.

Therefore, they will cheat. And they will do it by raising the standards so high that quotas will be impossible to reach.

Then, they chew you and everyone else out for “failing to meet the company quota.” Don’t even try to meet those impossible goals.

You’ll only wear yourself out eventually. Besides, how many attempts to satisfy these bullies are you going to make before you become exhausted?

How long are you willing to shapeshift before you realize that it’s a lost cause? You’ll only end up disappointed. Just as you can never fill a sieve, you can never appease a bully.

So, stop wasting your time and energy. Realize that these people aren’t worth the powder to blow them up.

Again, the best you can do is look for other employment. And, when you find it, blow on out the door and bid these tyrants good riddance. No job is worth your mental or physical health.

5. gaslighting at work is also done by co-workers.

Even co-workers may gaslight you to get that promotion. In other words, they kick you and others down to move up in the company.

Other forms of gaslighting by co-workers are when they take credit for your work. And when you call them on it, they make it look as if you’re trying to take credit for theirs.

They reverse the roles of victim and offender. This tactic is so easy it shouldn’t work. But, it does. Millions of good employees get sacked because of this method.

Other forms of gaslighting at work by co-workers include them making up negative stories about you.

Also, they will deliberately sow discord between you and other co-workers. They will do it to make you look like you aren’t a team player.

Lastly, bullying co-workers will intimidate your colleagues and threaten retaliation if they continue to associate with you.

In conclusion, you must remember this very important tidbit here:

Most cases of workplace bullying, mobbing, and gaslighting by co-workers have someone high up behind the scenes. This ringleader is the one who’s directing the entire movie.

Put another way, your co-workers are likely gaslighting you at the behest of a manager.

And they do this because the person in power has given them incentives to do so. They’ve offered them promotions. They may even offer huge bonuses to bully you out of your job.

And who wouldn’t if there’s the possibility of moving up in the job. Think about it. Not only do they have the chance of a higher position.

They also get higher pay and more prestige. Not many people would turn that down.

Sadly, there are more people without integrity than there are those with. It’s a dog-eat-dog world. And people will step on you to climb the ladder.

Therefore, you mustn’t give them the power to use against you.

Also, you must work on an exit plan the moment you find yourself in these kinds of situations. The sooner you quit and move on to greener pastures, the better off you’ll be.

This post was all about gaslighting at work to help you decide when it’s time to prepare your exodus, cut your losses, and move on to a better job and work environment.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Respond to DARVO: 7 Powerful Ways to Shut it Down

2. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

3. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

4. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying