Bullying and Conditioning: 3 Ways Bullies Get You to Accept Bigger Abuses

May 22, 2026June 9, 2026Leave a comment

‘Want to know about bullying and conditioning and how they relate? Here are all the details you need to know.

Bullies are just like any other type of abusers. They often condition you to take more and more crap. In this post, you will learn all about bullying and conditioning so you can protect yourself from them.

Once you discover all these crucial details, you will be better equipped to defend yourself from bullies and abusers and save your mental health.

This post is all about bullying and conditioning, so that you know how they relate and what you can do to take care of yourself.

Bullying and Conditioning

Have you heard of the Boiled Frog Method? Here’s how we can describe it. It’s the method bullies use to condition you to accept bigger, more severe abuse and violations.

Gradualism and Incrementalism

Bullying always starts subtly. Drop by drop, bullies start off taking teeny-weeny bites out of your self-esteem. They make a sarcastic comment here, and a backhanded compliment there.

They take it up ever so slowly, bit-by-bit. In fact, the abuse is so tiny that it isn’t noticeable. Yet you feel something is off. Something just doesn’t feel good, but you can’t quite put a finger on it. It’s that subtle!

Your first clue

Your body will know if you pay attention to it.

When you meet your bullies for the first time, you will pick up on some pretty creepy vibes. You’ll feel it in the pit of your stomach.

There will be something about them that feels “off.” And you’ll feel it before the first words are exchanged.

You will notice them watching your every move, scoping you out, studying you like a specimen. Or you may look up from whatever you’re doing and see them eyeing you from across the room.

You may see them out of the corner of your eye, huddled together and watching you. Then you will notice them look at each other and smirk. They’ll have that eerie twinkle in their eyes. You might even see a micro-flash or two of contempt.

Don’t ignore this!

Understand what they’re doing. They’re sizing you up – probing to see what excites you and what doesn’t.

Bullying and Conditioning:

Committing slightly bigger violations.

Next, they begin with subtle verbal abuse. You’ll barely notice it. These bullies will throw out a backhanded compliment here and a little dig there.

Then they’ll watch to see how you react. They make the abuse almost unrecognizable. You know, but you can’t prove it. After all, the insult may sound innocent.

You may question yourself. Or, you may fear that if you jab back, you may come off sounding “too sensitive.”

But understand that bullies do this deliberately. Not only do they do this to make you question yourself. They also do it to soften you up.

Therefore, the abuse is virtually unrecognizable… until it isn’t.

Upping the Ante

So, over time, the bullying gets worse. By the time it’s recognizable, the abuse is so out of control that the bullies can’t help themselves.

Moreover, they don’t even try to hide it anymore. Why continue to put in the work to hide something you’ve gotten away with for so long? And why stop when there’s no incentive to? Right?

By the time the abuse becomes obvious, it’s usually too late. Why? Because everyone has grown accustomed to bullying you. In fact, they’ve gotten comfortable with doing it.

And once they’ve grown accustomed to it, it’s almost impossible to get them to leave you alone, no matter how you stand up to them.

Bullying and Conditioning:

They punish you for standing up to them.

When you get fed up and put your foot down, bullies will only double down on their behavior. They will get angry at you for defending yourself. And they will find ways to punish you.

Realize that these people want power. And when you defend yourself, you threaten their power.

They don’t give a damn about the pain they inflict. You’re a target, and they darn well intend for you to stay that way.

Bullies get their kicks out of bullying you. And they won’t give that up easily.

Therefore, they only respond with anger and resentment.

“We’re in charge here! How dare you think that you can defy us!”

Again, people get offended when someone they deem inferior finally grows a spine. And they’ll do everything they can to break your will and keep getting their sick, sadistic jollies.

Understand that bullies have authoritarian personalities. They truly think they are superior.

Bullying is One Big PsyOp

Think about it. Governments and their military use psychological operations all the time. And they do it by starting propaganda campaigns.

For example, bullies start with smear campaigns and verbal abuse. This is the equivalent of government propaganda, but on a smaller scale.

Therefore, propaganda campaigns and smear campaigns are the same. Also, they both have the same purpose. To demoralize “the enemy.”

When people bully you, they see you as the enemy. Therefore, they seek to demoralize you. And if they can demoralize you, they can crush your will to stand up and fight back.

Bullying and Conditioning:

Things bullies say to demoralize you.

“You’re not strong (pretty, smart) enough.”
“Nobody likes you.”
“You don’t have any friends.”
“You can’t fight against us.”
“You’ll always be a nobody.”
“You’ll never amount to anything.”
“No one will ever date you (or) marry you.”
“You’ll never win that contest.”
“You’ll never make the team.”

You’ll never do this, and you’ll never do that. You must realize that they make these kinds of statements to mentally subdue you.

They want to force you to give up your natural reluctance to bow down and take abuse. And they do it by slowly weakening your resolve.

If they can plant seeds of self-doubt, then they can eventually get you to hate yourself. And once you begin hating yourself, you’ll surrender. Then, they can just walk all over you.

Again, governments do the same thing to get certain groups of people to submit.

Here’s what bullies really want from you.

Bullies want you to believe that you’re worthless.
They want you to believe that you’re powerless.
They want you to believe that you can’t do anything right.
Moreover, they want you to believe that you’re an evil person.
They want you to doubt yourself
They want you to feel inferior.

Why? Because bullies know that whatever you believe about yourself, others will believe it too. If you don’t have confidence in yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?

They want you to stop going after your dreams because they were too lazy to go after theirs. This is why they convince you that you’re a failure and that everything you set out to do will fall flat.

Their goals are to subjugate you so they can feel superior.

Bullying and Conditioning:

Psyops create opportunities that otherwise might not come to fruition.

The opportunity to keep you silent and from talking about their abuse.
The opportunity to use you to further their selfish agendas.

You see, if your bullies can silence you, then they can bully you safely. They don’t have to worry about being detected.

Therefore, they can continue to get that rush of power and feel superior. They can use your shortcomings to distract attention away from their own.

Moreover, they get to make you the bad guy while they go on doing their dirt. And no one will be the wiser.

Think about it. If they can ruin your reputation and make you the troublemaker, then others won’t suspect it’s them stirring the bullshit. They’ll look over at you instead.

Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. And if people expect trouble to come from a certain person, then that’s who they’re going to look at.

This requires changing public opinion about you. If bullies can demonize you in the eyes of others, they can cut you off from friendships. And friends mean support.

Once they cut you off from support, then they can bully you at will. And why not? If everyone hates you, they’ll believe that you deserve the abuse. And, they’ll never help you.

Bullying and Conditioning:

In conclusion

The more you know, the better you protect yourself. Therefore, you must get wise to these things.

Again, conditioning starts out small. You must know how to recognize it when it starts. Because the longer it goes on and the bigger the abuses get, the harder it is to defend yourself.

And what helps you to recognize it from the start is that your body feels it. Also, you’ll sense it in the vibes people around you give off. So, pay attention.

And lastly, never let them cause you to stop believing in yourself. Never let them destroy your confidence. Don’t fall for it when they gaslight you.

And, whatever you do, never let them cause you to hate yourself. Never allow the bullying to get so bad that you have to leave the environment.

Always stand up for yourself and call them out. Because, in doing so, you keep mental barriers in place to protect yourself.

You keep your reputation; you keep the support of others. Most importantly, you keep your confidence, your self-belief, and your healthy self-esteem.

This post was all about bullying and conditioning so that you’ll recognize the slow, gradual effects of bullying and protect yourself against them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Conditioning: 5 Signs You’re Being Conditioned

2. Bullying and Psychological Conditioning

3. Punished for Defending Yourself: What You Can Do

4. That Bullied Vibe: How Not to Attract More Bullies

5. The Bullied Brain: 7 Ways Bullying Affects Mental Health

The Impacts of Bullying: 10 Negative Outcomes on Victims

June 2, 2025May 24, 20266 Comments

‘Want to know the impacts of bullying on your life? Here are all the negative outcomes you’ll face if you aren’t careful.

It’s true that bullying undermines your confidence. However, the impacts go much deeper.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the impacts of bullying that you probably haven’t thought about and other reasons it’s important that you protect yourself against bullies.

Once you learn all the deeper issues it causes, you will be more compelled to guard your mental health against bullies.

This post is all about the impacts of bullying and all the deeper issues it causes so that you can beware and be aware.

The Impacts of Bullying

Although bullying can crush your self-esteem and instill fear into you. The consequence go much deeper. It can actually rewire your brain, therefore brainwashing you in nefarious ways.

Here are all the other negative things bullying does to your mental health.

1. Bullying Conditions You to accept Bigger and More Severe Abuses.

Bullies start with subtle attacks. In fact, the assaults are so subtle that if you don’t watch out, you won’t even notice it. This is called gradualism and incrementalism.

In other words, bullies begin by taking teeny-weeny bites out of your self-esteem. It happens drop by drop. They take it up ever so slowly, step by itsy-bitsy step.

Again, they escalate their bullying so slowly and so tiny that it isn’t noticeable. However, you may feel that something is off when you interact with these people.

You may notice that something doesn’t feel too good but you can’t quite put a finger on it. It’s that subtle!

But here’s your first clue.

The Impacts of Bullying:

Your body will know if you pay attention to it.

When you meet your bullies for the first time, you will pick up some pretty creepy vibes from them. Moreover, you’ll feel it in the pit of your stomach.

You’ll sense something about these creeps that feels “off.” And sometimes, you’ll feel it before the first words are exchanged.

You’ll sense your bullies watching your every move. They’ll scope you out, studying you like a specimen.

You may look up from whatever you’re doing or turn around and happen to see them of the corner of your eye. These people will be eyeing you from a distance.

Then you,ll see them look at each other and smirk. And you’ll notice that eerie twinkle in their eyes. You might even see a micro-flash or two of contempt.

Don’t ignore this!

Understand that these bullies are sizing you up. In other words, they’re probing you to see how you respond.

If you respond the way they want you too, your bullies will start committing slightly bigger violations. Understand that bullies do this deliberately. They do it to soften you up by making the abuse virtually unrecognizable.

They will continue to take the abuse up little by little until it’s no longer unrecognizable.

By the time it’s recognizable, the abuse may be so severe that everyone around you sees it too. When you begin defending yourself, your bullies and everyone else will likely gaslight you.

Moreover, the bullying will be so out of control that the bullies can no longer help themselves. In fact, they won’t even try to hide it anymore.

At this point, why would they hide it?

Why put in the work to hide something you’ve gotten away with for so long? When there’s no incentive to stop, they can bully you out in the open. Right?

By the time the abuse becomes obvious, it’s usually too late. Why? Because everyone has grown accustomed to bullying you. In fact, they’ve gotten completely comfortable with it.

And once people have grown accustomed to harming you, it’s almost impossible to get them to leave you alone. And this goes no matter what you do to protect yourself.

Therefore, when you finally get fed up and begin asserting your boundaries, they’ll only ignore you and keep right on abusing you. Through their actions, they’ll implicitly communicate that they don’t give a damn about your feelings or your pain.

Your bullies and everyone else will only see you as their victim. And they’ll damn well make sure you to stay that way.

2. The Impacts of Bullying:

People grow comfortable bullying and abusing you.

And why not? They’ve been getting a huge, psychological payoff from it. And hell will freeze over before they give up those benefits.

At this stage, your bullies will only respond with anger and resentment when you finally stand up to them. They will be like, “How DARE you! How dare you take away our fun!”

Therefore, bullies get offended when someone they deem inferior finally grows a spine. And they’ll do everything they can to break it! All to keep getting their sick, sadistic jollies!

Again, the conditioning starts small. You must know how to recognize bullying when it first begins. Why? Because, the longer it goes on, the bigger the abuses get.

Moreover, the harder it is for you to defend yourself and put a stop to it.

Again, to recognize bullying in the early stages, you must listen to your body. Why? Because your body will feel it. You’ll sense it in the vibes bullies put out. So, pay attention!

3. It Diminishes Your Ability to Trust Yourself.

Why? Because bullies constantly attack your judgement, decisions, and feelings. Moreover, bystanders may also negate and condemn them.

Therefore, when people bully you, they teach you that, you have no right to be angry or sad because you deserve the abuse. And bullies are experts at blaming you for the bullying you suffer.

The impacts of bullying run much deeper than you realize.

4. The Impacts of bullying:

It forces you to take blame for the abuse.

You may be conditioned by bullies and bystanders. Moreover, people in authority, friends, and family may also condition you.

They may demand that you suck it up and negate your own painful feelings. In that, they’ll train you to deny that they’re abusing you.

Your bullies and their minions will train you to believe that other people’s vile behavior is your fault. Also, they’ll try to make you believe that something is wrong with you.

They’ll make statements, such as, “If you weren’t such a troublemaker, people wouldn’t mess with you all the time!” Your bullies will also snooker you into thinking that everything that goes wrong is because of you.

In short, your bullies will claim that their abuse is somehow justified.

5. You withdraw from people.

As a result, you may withdraw. Why? Because you’ll fear attracting bullies and bullying behavior from the people around you.

Bullies will make you believe:

That you take things wrong.
You’re too sensitive.
That you had it coming.
That there’s something wrong with the way you are.
There’s something wrong with the way you express yourself.
There’s something wrong with the way you come across to people.

6. The Impacts of Bullying:

You stop believing in yourself.

In short, you stop believing in yourself. Even worse, you lose trust in yourself. You begin doubting your abilities, and capabilities. And once this happens, you become a perfect victim for more bullies.

Bullying doesn’t only attack your physical body, but also your psyche and emotional well-being. It breaks your spirit and your very soul. Therefore, the impacts of it can be devastating!

Being a target of bullying is a hell that no one who hasn’t been there can possibly comprehend. When you’re bullied, you’re in the fight of your life.

Moreover, you fight for your life!

Fighting for your life can mean fighting for your personal power and dignity. It can mean fighting to keep your confidence and self-esteem. Also, it can mean making sure the abuse doesn’t affect your performance at school or work.

You’re fighting to make sure that it doesn’t negatively impact your ability to make smart decisions and life-choices. And you’re fighting to maintain your health and your sanity. Ultimately, you’re fighting to keep the abuse from effecting your entire future.

Why? Because you know that if you allow them to break you, you give them power over your life. You may not end up dead, but you won’t really live. You’ll only exist.

7. Bullying Negatively Affects Your School or Work Performance.

Bullying puts you in survival mode. This can have a devastating effect on grades and performance.

Anytime you are a victim of bullying, bullies forcibly put you on constant alert for an attack. It’s as if you have a target on your back and you must grow eyes in the back of your head.

You become hyper-vigilant. This only breeds anxiety and leads to exhaustion. Not only is your body tire, but also your mind.

When you need to focus on survival, safety takes priority over school lessons and work performance. How can one concentrate when they’re constantly bombarded with threats, taunts, name-calling, and physical violence?

How can a person work or learn effectively when they’re stuck in fight-or-flight mode? It’s almost impossible!

When you’re in survival mode over a long period of time, the overabundance of cortisol will cause your memory to atrophy. Moreover, it will effect your emotional regulation and ability to maintain positive relationships.

Therefore, should it be any wonder that the majority of victims of bullying have such poor school grades and work performance?

8. The impacts of Bullying:

It causes learned helplessness.

After people have berated you for so long, you begin to believe it yourself. And because it shows up in your every day performance, you simply stop trying altogether.

In conclusion, bullying can impact ALL areas of your life.

9. It Stunts Your Social Development.

Although social intelligence won’t necessarily keep you from becoming a target of bullying, it will most certainly lessen your chances of it.

Social intelligence always has and always will supersede book-smarts. It will get you much further than college degrees, awards, and credentials alone.

It’s the reason high school dropouts have become millionaires. It is also why many college graduates have ended up flipping burgers at McDonald’s.

Social intelligence is THE most important quality you can have. It’s the highest paid skill and most important asset in the entire universe.

Luckily, Social Intelligence can be taught!

In the past, people thought that social intelligence was the one skill that could never be taught. They believed that you were either born with it, or you weren’t. And if you weren’t, it was something that you had to accept.

Thankfully, we now know differently.

Sadly, if you’re a target of bullying, the abuse you suffer can batter your self-esteem into oblivion. As a result, you withdraw from the rest of the world.

When you’ve been bullied for so long, you come to believe that you’re inferior to everyone else. You’re afraid to talk, afraid to mix and mingle, afraid of any social situations.

10. The impacts of bullying:

You create a fantasy world to live in.

In other words, you retreat into yourself and live inside your own head. You create a fantasy world, where you feel safe, wanted, and loved.

In other words, you create a world of imaginary people who accept you.

As a result, you shut out the “real world” and live in this fantasy world- this safe haven you’ve created. However, this is not good because, when this happens, you stop watching people and the world around you.

Also, you stop learning the social graces and nuances that you need to know in order to nurture relationships. And, before you know it, you become socially awkward.

You become too quiet, shy, and reserved. Moreover, you look through people instead of at them.

Instead of smiling and saying hello, you pass others by without saying a word to them.

Also, you become sullen and spaced out instead of upbeat and engaging. You feel numb instead of the emotions you should feel at different times.

In Closing:

This is why it’s important that you make a conscious effort to save your self-esteem. How you do it is to keep your heart open.

Therefore, meet new people and make friends outside the bullying environment. Create positive interactions and experiences away from your bullies or anyone else who knows you from the toxic place.

Do what you must do to keep your self-esteem intact and continue to grow your social intelligence.

No matter what happens, stay strong. Hold on as much of your confidence as possible. And most of all, know that none of the bullying you suffer has anything to do with you.

Let me assure you. There are people out there who care. Keep the faith, keep believing in yourself, and stand strong!

This post is all about the impacts of bullying so that you know what to watch for and begin taking care of your self-esteem.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

2. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

December 13, 2024July 6, 202620 Comments

‘Want to know how to have self-respect? Here are several powerful techniques you can use to treat yourself better and assert your rights as a human being

Photo from Canva

Bullies often force victims of bullying to do things that are beneath them by way of threats and inducing fear in them. Therefore, they force these targets to give up their self-respect to survive. If you’re one of those victims, here’s how to have self-respect so that you can take back your dignity.

In this post, you will learn the most powerful techniques you can use to command dignity and respect from others. Moreover, you will have the courage to give respect only to others who’ve earned it from you.

After you learn these methods, you will respect yourself enough to stand up to your bullies and take back your personal power.

How to have self-respect

Here’s something most people don’t realize.

You teach people how to treat you. And how do you teach them this? By how well you treat yourself- by what you will and will not put up with and by the boundaries you set.

Consequently, after people have bullied and abused you for so long, they can condition you to accept and allow bad behavior from others. Therefore, prolonged bullying is a form of brainwashing and hypnosis.

It slowly rewires your brain and forces you to “let” people walk over you.

However, know that it doesn’t have to be this way. You can retrain your brain and reclaim your dignity. In that way, you can recreate the life you so deserve.

To put it plainly, you can either allow unsavory people into your life. Moreover, you can allow them to abuse and degrade you, or you can put your foot down.

You can address their unacceptable behavior and let them go. You decide.

I have to admit. When I was being bullied years ago, I unwittingly let my classmates tear me down. I gave them the power to determine how I felt about myself.

However, this power never belonged to them in the first place.

Therefore, this is what happens when you don’t gather the courage to stand up to bullies. If you do not assert your rights to safety and dignity, people will take advantage of you.

Moreover, if you let others’ hurtful words and physical assaults make you feel terrible about yourself, your self-esteem will come crashing down.

How to have self-respect:

What happens to your self-esteem if you don’t stand up for yourself

Again, your self-esteem will fall like a meteor. Then other bad things begin to happen.

If you’re a kid in school, you’ll give up on schoolwork, and your grades will plummet. Also, you’ll end up giving up on your talents and stop doing what you enjoy.

In other words, you’ll allow your bullies to turn you against yourself.

I say this because it happened to me. I can’t even pretend it was all their fault. Why? Because I allowed them to steal my confidence- without knowing it or meaning to, of course.

Nevertheless, I let it happen. Therefore, part of the blame is on me.

But here’s the good news! Your bullies and abusers may bring you down, but they can’t keep you there if you don’t allow it. You can eventually come to understand your value as a human being.

In other words, you can begin seeing your worth and treating yourself better by removing toxic people from your life. And if removing them isn’t possible, as with toxic coworkers or family members, you can still, to some degree, limit contact.

“I can’t even pretend it’s all their fault.”

I can’t stress enough the importance of loving yourself first and foremost. Love should come from within, and you should never look to any outside source for it.

Love yourself and all of your imperfections, for we are all “perfectly flawed.” Therefore, by loving yourself, you also accept and respect yourself.

You don’t have to seek approval. If a person doesn’t want to see your worth, you can’t make them see it. However, you do have the choice of whether or not to keep them in your life.

This may or may not change their behavior toward you, and the worst-case scenario might even make it worse. However, you aren’t looking to change anyone’s attitude; you’re looking to take care of yourself and take back your peace.

How to have self-respect: 7 Ways to Respect Yourself

1. Understand the ins and outs of respect.

This means understanding that respect has a purpose. It’s there to ensure that everyone can live together in safety, peace, and harmony. It isn’t self-serving. It’s meant for the good of society.

Respect of any kind isn’t an entitlement. In other words, it isn’t free. You must earn it by giving it to others to get it back. Moreover, respect is something you must give to yourself to earn it also.

Everyone has a space to fill, even you. Respect is either mutual or it’s none at all, and there’s no in-between. In short, it’s a two-way street.

Also, please remember that respect is something money can’t buy. It doesn’t matter how much money, power, and prestige you have. If you’re a piece of scum, you’re a piece of scum.

Moreover, your money is something you can never take with you when you go, and the same goes for power and prestige. We all come into this world naked and so shall we leave it.

You don’t get respect by bullying and instilling fear in others. For example, gangs and mobsters demand respect. However, they never give any in return.

These kinds of people steal, kill, and destroy the lives of others. Yet, they have the nerve to demand respect, and from the very people they hurt.

Also, it isn’t something you need to ask for or beg for. If you earn it, it should naturally come back to you.

On the other hand, if you have to ask or beg for it, you’re in the wrong place, and it’s time to walk away. Respect is something that you sometimes must fight for.

2. How to have self-respect: Understand what self-respect is and what it isn’t.

Self-respect is not haughty, pompous, nor arrogant. True self-respect is respect for self while being aware of your strengths and weaknesses. It also means knowing and accepting your limitations.

In other words, it means embracing all aspects of yourself, good, bad, and ugly. Moreover, it’s treating yourself well and protecting yourself from emotional marauders.

3. Know your worth.

This means knowing what you deserve and what you will and will not tolerate. Never show respect to anyone who doesn’t return it.

In other words, you must respond in kind to anyone who disrespects you. Moreover, know that it’s not about changing anyone; it’s about looking out for yourself. It’s about establishing boundaries.

4. Set and enforce firm boundaries.

There are toxic people everywhere- users, abusers, and bullies. They will try to manipulate you, disrespect you, harass you, and violate your boundaries. Therefore, you must set boundaries and walk away from such people.

Moreover, setting boundaries means having the courage to say no when you must.

You must also enforce those boundaries when some creep sticks so much as one toe over them. This means imposing consequences on the violator.

Understand that this is how you treat yourself well. If you don’t, who will?

5. How to have self-respect: Be prepared to fight to keep your self-respect.

You, as much as anyone else, deserve your self-respect and dignity. Moreover, there will be times when you must fight to keep it. So, how do you fight for your self-respect?

You fight for it by refusing to allow people to disrespect you and get away with it. In other words, you do it by walking away from toxic friendships and abusive partners. You fight by standing up to bullies and cutting ties with those who disrupt your peace.

And you do it guilt-free, without warning, explanation, or apology.

6. take care of your health.

This means taking care of your physical health by eating the right foods and getting plenty of exercise and nightly rest.

Moreover, you must nurture your mental and spiritual health by surrounding yourself with those who uplift you and doing what you love to do. Feed your brain by reading good personal development books and books that teach you things.

In short, never stop learning new things.

7. be kind but don’t be “nice!”

It never pays to be too nice. When people mistake your kindness for weakness, that’s when to get tough. In other words, kindness is giving but not doing it at your own expense. Niceness is giving at your own expense. Moreover, there’s an ulterior motive to niceness.

On the other hand, there’s no self-servitude in kindness.

Nice people tend to kiss booty. They accept shabby treatment from those who don’t appreciate them, and their niceness stems from a desire to score brownie points.

Whereas kind people give from the heart and won’t tolerate abuse from others. A kind person won’t try to curry favor. They give because it’s the right thing to do.

Therefore, respect yourself by being kind. Nice is for suckers.

This post is all about how to have self-respect and treat yourself well so that you can gain back your confidence and your personal power.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Removing Toxic People: 5 Successful Ways to Give Them the Boot

4. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Easy Ways

5. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

Conditioning: 5 Signs You’re Being Conditioned

May 24, 2024June 14, 20269 Comments

‘Want to know the signs of conditioning so that you can protect yourself from it? These are the surefire signs to watch for.

Photo from Canva

Bullies and abusers have ways of conditioning you without you ever being aware that they’re doing it. In most cases, you won’t notice it until it has totally changed you and ruined your life. As someone who has been there and overcome it, I’m sharing the signs you need to know to stay safe.

You are going to learn about all the early signs of conditioning so that bullies can no longer play these mind games with you.

After learning about the signs of conditioning, you will be prepared and no longer easy to manipulate.

This post is all about the signs of conditioning that every victim and target of bullying should be aware of.

conditioning

What is it? In simplest terms, conditioning happens when others brainwash you to accept something you normally wouldn’t. Therefore, unscrupulous people will psychologically condition you to believe many falsehoods and accept all kinds of abuse.

This is how people get programmed, and extreme abuses get normalized.

Therefore, when you’re a victim of bullying, bullies will condition you to roll over and take their abuse. Over time, they slowly “Pavlov” you to believe any lie they say until they convince you to turn on yourself.

Conditioning doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a slow, incremental, bit-by-bit process that can be soft and subtle.

In other words, conditioning starts out small and is barely recognizable at first. At this stage, you must know how to recognize it.

Why? Because the longer it goes on and the more severe the abuses become, the harder it is to defend yourself against it.

One thing that will help you recognize it is that your body will feel it. And you’ll sense it in the vibes the people you’re dealing with give off.

So, how do you know your bullies are conditioning you?

Here are the signs:

Conditioning:

5 Signs You’re being Conditioned:

You’ll know by the feelings you have.

1. You begin Feeling guilty for defending yourself, speaking out about the bullying you suffer, and reporting the bullying to authority

This most commonly occurs with empaths. However, anyone can fall victim. If you aren’t careful, you will likely be used and abused like a dirty rug.

Therefore, you must put your needs first. And there will be times when you will need to stand up for yourself.

You have a right not to be abused, and you are just as good as the next person. You wouldn’t inflict pain on anyone else. And you should never allow others to inflict pain on you.

Self-care is never selfish. It’s essential.

Therefore, continue to stand up for yourself. Don’t stop taking care of yourself. Because if you don’t look out for yourself, no one else will either.

Remember that you aren’t responsible for their feelings. In a situation of bullying, all you have is yourself. And your greatest weapon is your voice. Use it! Don’t lose it!

2. Another sign of conditioning is Feeling that the bullying you suffer is all your fault.

Anytime you blame yourself for the bullying you suffer, your bullies have conditioned you. Therefore, understand this right now! It’s not your fault!

You are not responsible for your bullies’ behavior. Their horrid actions reflect their choices, not yours.

Moreover, you cannot control another person’s behavior. The only person’s behavior you have control over is your own.

So, when you blame yourself for being bullied, you are taking responsibility for something you can’t control. And that’s the behavior of others.

Do not allow them to condition you to believe that things beyond your control are your fault! They aren’t.

3. You start feeling like a heel for saying no.

Saying “no” can be difficult and at times, even downright scary. If you’re a person who believes in helping your fellow man, the last thing you want is to let someone down. However, there are times when saying yes to someone else is saying no to yourself.

When you say no, it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person. And this goes especially when bullies are trying to force you to do something you don’t want to do.

It’s how you set boundaries. And setting limits is healthy.

Conditioning:

What to do if they threaten you.

But what if your bullies threaten either physical harm if you don’t comply with their wishes? Or, what if they threaten social exclusion?

Nobody wants to get hurt. The natural human response is to submit and make the pain stop. In your mind, you’re thinking, “Alright, alright! I’ll do it if you’ll go away and leave me alone!”

Therefore, you fall for the false promises that they’ll stop hurting you. BUT!

Realize that bullies and abusers never make good on those promises. The harassment won’t stop. If anything, it will only get worse.

Why? Because your bullies have benefited from forcing you to say yes. And they’ve probably been getting those benefits for a long time now.

Your bullies never stopped the harassment before. So, why would they stop now?

Saying no to a bully is never an easy option.

Bullies don’t take no for an answer, least of all from their victims! However, you must say it anyway! Why? Because it’s how you take care of yourself.

Therefore, begin saying no, and do it often. And realize that you can’t change a bully. But be forewarned.

The bullies will probably keep pushing your boundaries. They may even retaliate. And if they do, it isn’t your fault. And it’s not your responsibility.

So be ready to defend yourself if you have to. The only time you should say yes to bullies is if they pull a gun. Otherwise, stick to your answer.

Saying no is risky. It always has been. Your bullies may threaten you with the business end of their fists, and you may come out of it with a shiner and a fat lip.

However, those wounds will heal. But the psychological injury of wishing you hadn’t let yourself down will last for years.

Again, you must say no, even if it makes others angry.

4. another hallmark of conditioning is when You feel like the biggest wuss on the planet.

You know the feeling. When you know you let someone else force you to do something you didn’t want to? It left a psychological injury that took a long time to recover from.

You ended up asking yourself, “Now, why didn’t I tell those creeps to take a flying leap off the highest cliff headfirst?” That feeling of powerlessness can be worse than any physical pain you’ve ever suffered.

And you blame yourself for not standing up to your bullies. You think that maybe you’re not strong enough. I’m not this enough, and I’m not that enough. This is another sign of conditioning.

However, you must know that your bullies act up not because you aren’t firm enough. And don’t think it was because you aren’t any good at defending yourself.

It’s because your bullies are a bunch of pathetic, self-entitled turds. Bullies are abusers, and abusers have a talent for conditioning their victims.

Abusers expect the rest of the world to bow down and kiss their behinds. Therefore, none of that is your fault.

Understand that their behavior isn’t your guilt to carry. Begin standing up for yourself. And refuse to believe the lies your bullies try to drum into your head.

REPEAT!

Don’t fall for their power plays. Stand up! Stand tall! And stand firm, no matter what.

Conditioning:

5. Your body will feel those icky vibes your bullies are putting out.

You’ll sense it when something feels “off.” Moreover, you’ll feel it in the pit of your stomach. And sometimes, you’ll feel it before the first words are exchanged.

This is, perhaps, the most important sign of all. Why? Because, as mentioned earlier, conditioning is soft and subtle in the beginning. And you don’t even notice it.

However, here’s your first clue: Your body will tell you if you pay attention to it. Your body, particularly your gut, will pick up on it.

Many targets of bullying often mistake this feeling for “just having paranoia.” Therefore, they ignore it. But this is the last thing you should do.

Understand that God gave us all that “sixth sense.” Some people call it your “gut feeling.” Others use the term “instinct.”

Therefore, whenever you get a bad feeling in your gut about someone, you are not overreacting. And you are not overreacting.

What you’re doing is picking up on that person’s energy. Your inner alarm is trying to warn you and keep you safe.

You must trust your gut. Pay attention to other people’s energy. Energy doesn’t lie, and neither does your instinct!

If you ever catch bad vibes from someone, steer clear of them. Instead, get as far away from them as you can and as fast as you can! You will save yourself a lot of trouble, I promise!

This post was all about the signs of conditioning to help you to recognize these indicators early on and protect yourself.

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3. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to be Aware of

4. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Power Statements to Use