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40 Characteristics of Bullies

Would you like to know the 40 characteristics of bullies? You will find them all here.

40 characteristics of bullies

Photos from Dreamstime

Bullies have characteristics that give them away. And if you watch closely, you can pick them out of a crowd before even talking to them.

In this post, you’ll learn the 40 characteristics of bullies so that you can spot them before they spot you.

Once you learn all these traits, you will be able to cluster them more efficiently and protect yourself before they have a chance to bully you.

This post is all about the 40 characteristics of bullies so that you can spot them and protect yourself.

40 Characteristics of Bullies

Bullies have many traits if you know what to look for. And knowing what they are can give you an advantage.

You can cluster them together and tell whether you’re looking at a bully. More importantly, you can avoid bullies before they get the chance to target you.

Here are all the traits.

1. They crave power.

Bullies need to dominate others. Therefore, they may boss people around. They may also try subtle insults to see how you react. Don’t ignore these things because they’re huge red flags.

2. Searching for Flaws.

Bullies may not have anything on you. However, they will hunt for anything, no matter how tiny the flaw. Then, when they find it, they will make a big deal of it.

Understand that bullies are always on the prowl for victims. To select targets, they need vulnerabilities they can exploit. And if they can’t find anything, they’ll invent something. So, expect them to go over you with a fine-toothed comb.

If you pay attention, you’ll notice them watching you closely but from afar. You’ll also notice the unfriendly expressions on their faces. They might even look at each other and point in your direction.

Therefore, be alert.

40 Characteristics of Bullies:

3. Exploiting Vulnerabilities.

They will scan every word that comes out of your mouth for the slightest hint of sarcasm. Moreover, they may even watch for stupidity or slowness.

Understand that they’re looking for anything they can take offense to. They also search for things to pick apart and twist and use against you.

Bullies will look you up and down. They search your face for the slightest blemish.

They also scan your attire for the slightest stain or tear. They’ll also see if you’re wearing old hand-me-downs or the latest fashions.

Your mood, your moves, your voice, everything about you will be under scrutiny. And they wait with bated breath for anything they can use against you. Bullies may also have an ear cocked for any damaging information about you.

But, look at it this way:

If bullies have to search for imperfections, you’re not the issue. They are.

4. Barking orders.

When bullies order you around, they deny your equality and autonomy. Instead of respectfully asking for what they want, they make demands as if you’re their subordinate.

Proverbially, this is how bullies claim ownership of you. They don’t have to be bosses or authority figures to order you around.

40 Characteristics of Bullies:

Here are some examples of orders and what you can say to counter them:

Bully: “Get (your ass) in here!”

You: “Screw you!”

Bully: “Come back here now!”

You: “Forget you!”

Bully: “Pick that up!”

You: “Up yours!”

Understand that no one has the right to give you orders other than your boss, teachers, or parents. And if a classmate or coworker steps over that line, it’s as simple as saying, “I don’t take orders.”

5. Bring up your past.

Have you ever noticed that bullies always seem to bring up your past? A past mistake? Maybe they mention a police record of vandalism when you were seventeen.

During college, you may have gotten shit-face drunk at a frat party. And you performed a table dance while stripping down to your underwear.

Whatever the faux pas might have been, bullies love throwing it in your face.

40 Characteristics of Bullies:

6. Putting you down to feel better about themselves.

Instead of putting in the work to improve, they tear you down to look bigger and better. Bullies never build up; they tear down. They do not create or restore; they destroy. And they don’t add to anything, only subtract from it.

Understand that bullies are losers, and they cannot survive in a meritocracy. They have no redeeming qualities. So, they use the only power they have left.

Their last resort is to make a last-ditch effort to preserve their fragile egos.

They select a target and say something mean and hurtful. If that person is you, you’re naturally shocked at first, and you feel off balance.

Next, the shock wears off, and you begin feeling the pain in your heart.

It’ll be hard at first. But make a conscious effort not to value a bully’s opinions. Understand that you have no control over other people’s actions, behaviors, or opinions.

If they have a problem with you, it’s their problem, not yours.

7. Acting Superior and entitled.

Bullies will act superior and entitled. And they signal superiority by looking down on you. However, they do this to bring you down and make themselves feel more powerful. And a sense of entitlement comes with it.

Many of them act this way to conceal their own jealousy and insecurity. And sadly, it works because too many bullying victims give too much value to bullies’ opinions.

You owe it to yourself to learn and see what’s behind the mask of superiority. Open your eyes and see through the facades they put up.

40 Characteristics of Bullies:

8. Gaslighting.

Bullies are notorious for gaslighting. So, what do bullies do when they gaslight you? And what is the definition of gaslight?

Gaslight: to psychologically manipulate someone into doubting their own perception of reality.

Put simply, when you call out their abuse, bullies will take offense to your response to their behavior. And they will make the following statements:

  • “That didn’t happen.”
  • “You brought it all on yourself.”
  • “You’re too sensitive.”

Don’t believe it! See this for what it is. Your bullies know they’re busted. So, they’re trying to turn it back on you and make you look unstable.

9. Refusing to acknowledge your boundaries.

Bullies will violate your boundaries. They won’t take no for an answer. When you tell them to stop, they just keep going. Moreover, they invade your personal space.

This is a classic sign of bullies. Therefore, when you see them do it to someone else, they’ll do the same to you sooner or later.

10. Leaving you emotionally exhausted after You encounter them.

Bullies are negative people. They seem to take the oxygen out of every room they walk into. And they zap your energy because they like to ride roughshod over someone.

Therefore, when you see them doing this to someone, keep your eyes peeled. And avoid them like the plague.

40 Characteristics of Bullies:

11. Laying Guilt TRiPS.

Bullies will pile on the guilt trips when you don’t give them what they want. And if you “dare” to stand up to them, they’ll become offended and angry. Then, they will try to make you believe you are the bad guy.

They may accuse you of being selfish, stingy, and so on. Whatever they lay on you, they make you feel rotten.

Bullies may also try to make you feel obligated. They may refer to something they did for you and imply that you owe them.

For example, a partner asks a girl for sex. She tells them she’s not ready to take that step yet. And the partner says, “I just took you out to a five-course dinner and treated you to a great movie…” Blah-b-blah.

They’re trying to get you to do something you don’t want to do by making you feel like a heel. Don’t fall for it.

40 Characteristics of Bullies:

12. They Never apologize for their abuse.

This is another classic trait of bullies. When you call them out on their behavior, they don’t apologize. Instead, they only double down.

Therefore, when you see them do this to someone else, you probably have a bully in your midst.

13. They get offended easily.

Bullies get overly defensive. In fact, they don’t mind dishing it out. But when you bite back, they get butt-hurt. In fact, they can be the biggest crybabies in the world.

The house cats always want a piece of the barn cat… until they get a piece of the barn cat. 

So, don’t let their “offense” shake you.

40 Characteristics of Bullies:

14. Rattling You.

Before getting violent, bullies will often try to rattle you. It’s how they mess with your mind. For example, if you’re a kid being bullied at school, here’s what your bullies might do.

  • Deliberately knock over your drink and spill it
  • Pluck a piece of food from your plate and pop it into their mouth at lunch.
  • Kick your books, backpack, or purse with their foot
  • Fling your hair back
  • Flick your nose with one finger
  • Give you a non-friendly slap on the back
  • Shoulder-check you as they walk past you in the hall or parking lot
  • Knock your hat or cap off.

Workplace bullies may also knock your files off your desk. This doesn’t happen often, but it isn’t unheard of.

Understand that bullies use these tactics to provoke a reaction. They may even be looking for a fight. Why else would they invade your space or territory?

15. They Get Jealous easily.

Bullies are highly competitive. They like to be on top and stay there. Therefore, they despise competition.

Bullies can’t handle being outdone by anyone. But that doubles if it’s someone they deem inferior.

For example, you’re a target of bullying, and you make all A’s. Maybe you win an award. Your bullies will become angry and bully you worse.

They might make the following statements:

  • “You think you’re so smart!”
  • “You think you’re better than us!”

Make no mistake. Those kinds of accusations scream jealousy.

40 Characteristics of Bullies:

16. They give backhanded compliments.

In other words, they hide their insults under the veil of praise. Let’s say you make a big accomplishment.

Bullies might say, “You did better than I expected,” or “I never thought you’d be smart enough to pull that off.”

17. Delivering digs and zingers.

In other words, they make subtle wisecracks and insults. This kind of bullying is one of the most cowardly forms. Why? Because it’s passive-aggressive.

When these types of bullies insult you, they’re slick about it. These types of bullies don’t have the guts to make a direct attack. So, they say stuff to catch you off guard.

They taunt you in such a way that you may have difficulty figuring out who it’s aimed at. In fact, you won’t even know it’s directed at you until it’s too late for you to deliver a good comeback.

Why? Because the bully may not necessarily address it to you. Instead, they’ll tell it to everyone else around you… right in front of you. However, they’ll do it in a way that leaves you in doubt. You will question yourself.

But the bystanders nearby will immediately know who the covert nastiness is meant for. Passive-aggressive attacks include sarcasm, zingers, digs, and sneak dissing.

18. Sneak Dissing.

This is the new name for digs and zingers. Again, it’s the kind of attack where the bully talks about you without naming you.

And they usually do it where you can hear. But, at the same time, they hope it flies right over your head or that you won’t have the guts to clap back. The reason bullies do this is to avoid a direct conflict with you.

40 Characteristics of Bullies:

19. Intimidation tactics.

Bullying feeds on fear. Therefore, bullies will try to scare you into submission. For instance, they may get in your face like they’re going to attack you. Or they may tell you they’re going to kick your butt if you don’t do xyz.

They may tower over you from behind. But whatever they do, they use scare tactics to get you to exert control over you. And they usually do it through their body language.

20. Innuendos.

Innuendo is an insinuation that people use to threaten or insult you and still have plausible deniability. Most bullies like to use the indirect approach just in case you have the balls to confront them.

Then they can claim that “it was just a joke” or that they “didn’t mean it that way. Examples of innuendo include backhanded compliments. For example, “Wow! You actually finished that in time!”

They also question your competence (“Do you need help with that? It seems you’re having difficulty.”)

21. Ambiguous statements.

For example, bullies may exclude you from something. But when you ask about it, they may claim, “I thought you knew about it. I told everyone else.”

Or, if everyone is talking about you behind your back, one of them may come to you and say, “I just want to let you know that what everyone is saying, I think it’s unfair.”

But understand that by saying this, the bully is spreading gossip but pretending to be a friend.

40 Characteristics of Bullies:

22. Shifting Blame.

Bullies will abuse you, then blame you for their behavior if you speak up. For instance, they may tell you, “You brought it on yourself.”

Or, they might tell you, “If you hadn’t said so-and-so, he wouldn’t have slapped you.” Whatever the situation, they’re trying to justify the behavior by making it look like you provoked it.

“Nobody bullied you; they were just reacting to something you did.”

23. Talking behind your back.

Bullies are cowards. And many only pretend to be your friends. Most of them won’t tell you to your face what they think of you. They’ll smile and give you a pat on the back.

However, once you walk away, they’ll begin talking badly about you behind your back.

24. Death Glares.

These bullies let their eyes do the talking for them. They’ll stand across the room from you and give you dirty looks. But this is a cowardly way of getting their point across.

40 Characteristics of Bullies:

25. stalking you.

Many bullies will follow you around or drive by your house. They might even “accidentally” run into you at the supermarket. They don’t get close enough to be obvious.

However, they’re just close enough to observe you and the people you associate with. Bullies stalk you to gather information they can use against you later.

26. Watching you Closely.

Some bullies don’t stalk. They just watch you like a hawk. They do this for the same reasons mentioned in number twenty-five. To gather information they can weaponize later.

27. Invading your privacy.

Privacy is a shield. It is also a form of power. By having a life your bullies don’t know about, you have a fortress they can’t penetrate.

Therefore, they invade your privacy in an attempt to tear down that wall of protection. For example, they may plunder through your belongings. Or they may peek in your bathroom window and watch you bathe.

However they do it, they don’t do it out of concern. It’s to gather information they can use to embarrass you.

40 Characteristics of Bullies:

28. Daring You.

For example, a bully may stand with feet apart and arms wide, forming a T-stance. By doing this, the bully is telling you to “Bring it” or “Come on, I dare you.”

29. Deliberate sudden movements.

For instance, the bully may back away from you and act like he is going to punch you, then stop himself and laugh.

They may also lunge at you, then stop themselves. These tactics are the favorite of bullies. Understand that bullies make these deliberate moves to cause you to flinch.

They then stand back and laugh. Then, they claim that this normal reaction is proof that you’re scared of them and don’t have the guts to fight them back.

30. Mock physical attacks.

For example, bullies may begin dancing around the room and shadowboxing. By doing this, the bully is clearly showing what he wants to do to you.

Understand that when bullies toy with you, they really want to square off. See it for what it is and call it out as it is.

40 Characteristics of Bullies:

31. Gotcha Questions.

Not only are politicians notorious for asking gotcha questions, but so are bullies. What is a gotcha question, you may ask?

Gotcha questions are those that put you in a bad light, no matter how you respond. They can do damage even if you don’t respond to them at all.

Therefore, these are the types of questions bullies will ask you in public, just to humiliate you. In fact, these kinds of questions are best asked in front of an audience.

Gotcha questions are forms of entrapment. Why? Because bullies use them to trap you into looking bad to others.

Here are a few examples of gotcha questions:

  • “Tabitha, did you ever get help for your alcoholism?”

By asking this, the bully is accusing Tabitha of having alcoholism without directly doing so. It’s a slick way for them to attack her.

A yes means that Tabitha was “a drunk” in the past. A no implies that Tabitha is still drinking. And that’s what people will think.

Furthermore, if she responds by saying, “I’ve never had a drinking problem,” it would sound like a cover-up. Why? Because others would wonder why anyone would ask such a question if they weren’t privy to such private information.

It implies that the one asking knows information that hasn’t been available to anyone else.

40 Characteristics of Bullies:

32. Selective outrage.

Selective outrage is a form of psychological and behavioral control. It is biased anger. Also, it is hypocrisy. Why? Because it holds a select few to a double standard.

In other words, those in power use it to praise one person or group and punish another for the same behavior. The behavior doesn’t matter; it’s who’s doing it.

33. Impulsive behavior.

Bullies tend to act without thinking. Why? Because they’re easily triggered. In this case, the aggression isn’t planned. They overreact to perceived slights.

And, when they do, they show a complete lack of emotional control.

For example, bullies may explode in angry outbursts. Or they may physically attack someone without considering the consequences.

34. Low tolerance of frustration.

Bullies don’t handle disappointments well. When they get frustrated, they tend to take it out on you. They blame you for any inconvenience they face. And it was probably something you had no control over.

And they will often attack you for it. They react with disproportionate anger because they view minor obstacles as personal attacks.

40 Characteristics of Bullies:

35. Ignores Rules.

Bullies think they’re superior. Therefore, they believe that rules don’t apply to them. “Rules for thee but not for me.”

36. STIRRING conflict instead of resolving it.

Bullies don’t solve problems; they create them. Many of them use drama to control social orders. And they do it even if they have to manufacture the issues.

40 Characteristics of Bullies:

37. Uses charm to deceive others.

Bullies use deceptive charm to impress teachers and supervisors. They’re convincing liars. Moreover, they’re experts at kissing ass. And, if you report bullying, this is often why authority figures side with them and blame you.

Moreover, because the bullies have curried favor with bosses or teachers, they may cover up their behavior.

40 Characteristics of Bullies:

38. They take up space.

You will often spot bullies standing in the center of a room. They’ll be standing with their feet shoulder-width apart and arms akimbo. They do this to look bigger.

Bullies also like to sit on the stairs or walk in the middle of the hall. These are power plays to subtly force people to move around them.

39. Rigid thinking.

They despise change. Moreover, they don’t like anything or anyone different.

40 Characteristics of Bullies:

40. Sabotage.

Bullies are saboteurs. Ways they sabotage you include social tactics like character assassination and smear campaigns.

They also come between you and your plans for the future. For instance, they may try to discourage you from pursuing your dreams by ridiculing you. If you’re studying to become a doctor, they may laugh and tell you that you aren’t smart enough.

Bullies will also sabotage you at work by derailing a project or taking credit for your ideas.

BONUS:

41. Overly-Aggressive.

Aggression comes in many forms. Some bullies use physical aggression to get what they want. Others use psychological aggression.

But whatever kind they use, they go overboard to intimidate you into submitting to their every whim.

40 Characteristics of Bullies:

In conclusion

You can spot them by their attitudes and their behavior. Their body language conveys dominance.

The tactics bullies use are dead giveaways. And if you see them act this way toward anyone else, they may do it to you sooner or later.

Bullies often have large clusters of these behaviors and tactics. Therefore, spotting them is easier than you think. You just have to pay attention.

This post was all about the 40 Characteristics of Bullies so that you can spot them before they have a chance to target you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

2.  Bullying Characteristics: 10 Bullying Behaviors to Be Aware of

3. The Perfect Victim: 9 Traits Bullies Look for in Potential Targets

4. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

5. How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples 

how to handle bullies as an adult

How to Handle Bullies

Want to know how to handle bullies the right way? Here are the tips you need to know.

how to handle bullies

Photo from Canva

Bullies have ways of distorting the way you see yourself. Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to handle bullies to protect your self-esteem and even your physical health.

Once you learn all these important life lessons, you will be able to stand up to bullying with confidence.

This post is all about how to handle bullies so that you can protect your mental health and your peace from people who wish to disrupt them.

How to Handle Bullies

All through life, you will encounter negative and downright toxic people. You meet these mouth-breathers at school, work, the neighborhood, or (gasp) in the family.

However, you have control over how they make you feel.

Don’t let bad eggs make you feel rotten.

Bullies are everywhere, and they come in all flavors. These kinds of people always seem to take the energy out of the room. And they suck the oxygen out of those around them.

They’re annoying, obnoxious, and, in some cases, downright intimidating. These are people who make you feel uncomfortable, terrible about yourself, and worst of all, unstable.

Those who make you feel bad are usually the angry, jealous, and resentful type. They put on a good act and talk a good game. However, the proof is in how they treat you.

The way to handle these bullies is to understand where the behavior comes from and not let it get to you.

Realize that they will search for anything about you that they can use against you. They will even turn your good and positive qualities against you and make them seem bad.

How to Handle Bullies:

Twisting your good qualities into bad

For instance, let’s say that you’re generally a happy person who likes to laugh and have a good time. Bullies will say that you’re fake and that your laughter is fake.

But realize that bullies only see from their own worldview. They may be telling you this because they’re not happy.

If you have talents and gifts and like to display them, they’ll accuse you of showing off. But they may be saying these things because they’re jealous of your talent.

If you’ve made an accomplishment or reached any success, these killjoys will trivialize it. They may say that anyone could have made the success you made.

Again, they only envy you. Realize that there’s nothing wrong with you; there’s something wrong with them.

It’s not about you; it’s about them.

If you won an award, they’ll claim that you got the award only because you either knew people in high places. They may even accuse you of kissing up to one of the judges.

If you have a loving spouse and family, bullies will go out of their way to find something wrong with that. If you have a little bit of money, they’ll claim you didn’t work for it. Or they’ll claim you obtained it either illegally or unjustly.

They will also bully and abuse you, give you a hard time, if you have something that they want but can’t have. It could be that you have things just a little bit easier than they do.

It’s as if they’re trying to punish you because they think you have it so good.

How to Handle Bullies:

Don’t let it get you down.

But don’t let it get to you because that’s what they want. You must realize that they have a problem. And it’s not your job to fix it for them.

Their behavior says everything about them and zero about you. Your bullies have serious mental issues, and they need help.

Their behavior is proof that they feel insecure about something in their own lives. And they want to drag you down in the gutter with them.

When others are brutal to us, our first instinct is to blame ourselves. We try to figure out what’s wrong and then fix it. But realize that there’s no need to fix what isn’t broken. And you’re not the one with the issue.

You must reframe their behavior.

Instead, realize that it’s them and not you. It’s the only way to feel better about yourself. And you might find yourself feeling sorry for them instead of hating them for the way they treat you.

And believe me, most people with any pride would much rather be hated than pitied.

Bullies will care less about your anger and hate toward them. But they’ll resent and even loathe it when you pity them. There’s dignity in being hated but none in being pitied.

So, how do you handle bullies? Here’s a list of tips.

How to Handle Bullies:

1. Know who you are.

The more you know yourself, the less bullying will faze you.

When you know yourself inside and out, you won’t allow others, particularly bullies and abusers, to define you.

Moreover, you can easily avoid bullying because you’re better able to recognize it. And when you’re able to identify abuse, you’re least likely to put up with it.

Knowing yourself means knowing your worth. It also means having a strong set of principles and values.

When you know yourself, you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. No one can take away your value; it’s just there.

2. Stop caring what others think.

Caring what others think makes for a life of mental slavery. Wouldn’t you rather have the delicious freedom to just do and be what you want?

You must realize that some people’s opinions don’t matter. The value you give to anyone’s opinion depends on your relationship with them.

In other words, you place the most value on the opinions of those who love and care for you the most. Therefore, you ignore the opinions of those who abuse you. They don’t matter.

How to Handle Bullies:

3. Have your own set of principles.

Hold onto your standards. Moreover, stand up for your beliefs and convictions. Be true to yourself and follow your heart. And do it boldly and confidently.

Don’t be afraid to think critically. In short, dare to be different.

This is how you protect your mind from bullies. Your mind and your thoughts are free! Keep them that way!

4. Set boundaries.

Most bullies prefer to target low-hanging fruit; in other words, they’re so cowardly that they choose easy targets.

Easy targets for bullies are those with low self-esteem and those who are insecure with themselves. Those who don’t set boundaries are easily intimidated.

Therefore, these victims don’t stand up to them.

But when you stand up to bullies, you show confidence. Most bullies can sense your confidence, and it only intimidates them. Moreover, you’ll be surprised at the amazing results.

They know that the confident ones are least likely to take any crap from them. So, they’re least likely to target them. They’ll move on to an easier target.

Don’t be afraid to set boundaries. How you set boundaries is to say no. And when some creep tries to get in your face, talk down to you, or physically attack you, you’ll defend yourself.

Be clear with what you will and will not put up with. And know without a doubt that you deserve better. Give respect to others. However, expect the same in return.

How to Handle Bullies:

5. Enforce boundaries.

Setting boundaries isn’t enough. Sometimes, you must enforce those boundaries.

Enforcing boundaries means following through on what you say you’ll do if someone crosses the line. If bullies know you’ll punch them back if they put their hands on you, they won’t do it.

And if they expect you to deliver a good burn if they verbally attack you, they’ll think twice. Therefore, if some punk crosses you, make them regret it.

6. Stay calm

When bullies insult you, they’re looking for an emotional reaction from you. Most bullies get their kicks out of making you angry or making you cry.

Don’t give them the satisfaction. Remain calm and respond intelligently.

How to Handle Bullies:

7. Don’t explain anything.

Bullies will often try to trick you into giving them needless explanations. This is a trap because, no matter how much you explain things to them, they will only pretend not to get it.

And why not? These people want to hurt you. Therefore, they’ll never accept anything you have to say.

You must recognize that those who are toxic do this intentionally. One reason they challenge your explanations is to prompt you to provide more. Why? To throw you off-balance and keep you interacting with them.

They also do it to gather information they can use against you later. Realize that they really don’t need an explanation from you. In fact, they don’t even want one. They only pretend to want it.

Besides, you don’t owe them a doggone thing. And that includes an explanation.

8. Don’t rush to defend yourself from rumors.

Understand that you don’t have to clear up any rumors. And you don’t have to care what they “heard.”

“I heard this,” and “I heard that!” Please! Give me a break! Save the drama for your mama!

That’s exactly what you tell them. Let them talk, and let the way you live your life dispel the rumors. Moreover, watch and see who believes them. Those who do are the people you need to cut ties with.

How to Handle Bullies:

In conclusion

When you handle bullies calmly and powerfully, you steal their thunder. More importantly, you refuse to be a victim of their petty games.

There are even good ways to handle them when they give you the silent treatment.

When you deal with bullying the right way, you force them to go search for another target and leave you alone. Then, you get to be yourself and live in peace. And there’s nothing better than that!

This post was all about how to handle bullies so that you can continue to live in peace.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Handle Bullying: 7 Powerful Ways to Counter a Bully

2. How to Deal with Bullies: 7 Do’s and Don’ts You Need to Know  

3. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

4. Silent Treatment: Why Bullies Give It and What You Should Do

5. What Happens When You Set Boundaries: 7 Amazing Outcomes 

secrets bullies don't want you to know psychology

Secrets Bullies Don’t Want You to Know

There are secrets bullies don’t want you to know. Do you know what they are? Here’s everything you need to know.

secrets bullies don't want you to know

Photos from Canva

In this post, you will learn the secrets bullies don’t want you to know to have the knowledge you need to protect yourself.

Once you learn all these hidden truths, you will be better able to call these creeps out and protect your mental health from them.

This post is all about the secrets bullies don’t want you to know so that you can stop being a victim and live your life in peace.

Secrets Bullies Don’t Want You to Know

Bullies hide many secrets. If those secrets ever got out, their whole world would collapse before their eyes. Therefore, here are all the secrets bullies will move heaven and earth to keep hidden.

1. Some Bullies are more scared of you than you are of them.

Bullies fear you might fight back. Why? Because if you do, you just might get the best of them. As a result, they’ll end up looking weak and being bullied themselves.

This is why they keep you afraid to fight back. However, realize that you should fight back. I’ve seen several bullies bully their victims to the point that the victim finally snapped.

As a result, the victim beat the living daylights out of them. Also, on some occasions, the victim whipped the bully in front of an audience.

Therefore, the bully never bothered them again, and the target finally won respect.

2. They’re insecure.

Bullies constantly worry about what others think of them. This is why they act the way they do. They want to seem perfect.

Why? Because they’re so afraid that if others find out about the real person, they won’t like them anymore.

Bullies want so badly to be liked that they will bully you in front of an audience to score laughs from everyone and get approval.

Therefore, call them out on it. I promise you’ll feel much better once you do.

Secrets Bullies Don’t Want You to Know:

3. They crave approval.

Bullies want approval. More than that, they want others to admire and adore them. And if a bully doesn’t get approval, they feel inadequate.

So they bully in front of an audience to get the approval they feel they never get. You must realize that bullies are simps. And they simp in ways that aren’t so obvious.

However, understand that anyone who seeks approval is needy. Only pathetic losers do that.

Therefore, see it for what it is, and your self-esteem will skyrocket. Why? Because you’re so awesome that you don’t have to resort to such behavior.

4. They’re posers

Bullies are constantly trying to look cool. They strain themselves to keep up appearances. They know that most people think that cruelty is “cool” as long as they aren’t receiving it.

Therefore, many bullies bully to look cool to any bystanders and witnesses. And sadly, most bystanders are under the misguided belief that bullying is cool.

Moreover, they don masks to hide their true, pathetic selves. Bullies aren’t happy with themselves. So, they work hard to hide their flaws and put on a persona of perfection.

For instance, you may see one of your bullies wearing clothes from department stores like Nordstrom every day. But you may get lucky and notice him pull out a 20-dollar wallet from Walmart. That’s when you’ll figure out that he’s nothing but a poser.

So, find ways to use it against him. Then use it to your own advantage. I can think of several, and I’m sure you can too. Just knowing this will keep you out of the doldrums and view your bullies for the losers they are.

This should make you laugh because you know they’re not so cool after all.

Secrets Bullies Don’t Want You to Know:

5. they fear exposure.

Bullies get by only on appearances. The fronts they put up are only illusions and mirages. Moreover, without the facades they work so hard to maintain, they have no leg to stand on.

For instance, magicians will never tell you how they make things disappear or pull rabbits out of hats. And they won’t tell you how they can do card tricks. The reason they don’t is that their tricks are only optical illusions.

And if you ever found out how they do it, it would blow their act, and people would lose interest. They’d go bankrupt.

It’s the same with bullies. Understand that their lives are filled with cracks that just might expose who they really are. Think of these cracks as smoldering hot spots that threaten to blaze again.

Bullies are forever running around pouring buckets of water on these hot spots. They have to bust ass to make sure these hot spots don’t ignite.

Also, they must continuously struggle to maintain control of everyone and everything, and that’s not easy.

Bullies realize that once their real personality seeps through, people will lose respect for them and they’ll lose power. And if they lose power, their mistreatment of others will come back to bite them in the ass… hard!

6. Their biggest fear is losing face.

Bullies only have power that you and others give them. Therefore, if they lose face, that power is gone. Usually, bullies lose face when victims stand up to them.

For instance, a bully hits you, and you punch them back. In fact, you beat the daylights out of them in front of everyone.

That embarrasses a bully. And the people who see it will realize that they aren’t as tough as they made themselves out to be.

Therefore, others quickly lose respect for them.

Secrets Bullies Don’t Want You to Know:

7. If you stand up to them, others might follow.

Remember the movie, “A Bug’s Life?” In the film, the grasshoppers bullied the ants. Here’s a quote from the lead grasshopper that you might remember.

“You let one ant stand up to us, then they might all stand up. Those puny little ants outnumber us a hundred to one. And if they ever figure that out, there goes our way of life.”

The head grasshopper said the quiet part out loud. He revealed every bully’s worst fear. If one victim stands up to me, it will encourage everyone to do the same. But most people still haven’t gotten wise to this yet.

8. Being a bully is hard WORK!

Believe it or not, bullies must work hard to keep up appearances. They’re good at maintaining their fake facades.

In other words, bullies, especially popular ones, have an image to keep up, and they monitor themselves nonstop, twenty-four-seven.

They must keep up with and remember all the lies they tell to keep their stories straight. Moreover, they often spend beyond their means to appear wealthy.

Is it any wonder that many bullies get charged with crimes like embezzlement, fraud, and theft? Most have to steal to keep up!

Therefore, they’re constantly afraid of losing face if any of it ever gets out.

Secrets Bullies Don’t Want You to Know:

9. They aren’t happy people.

They can’t be. Why do you think they bully others?

Bullies need a victim. They can’t be happy unless they’re bringing someone else down. The only thing that makes bullies happy is seeing you suffer.

Therefore, see this as a testament to how miserable they really are. They do it to feel better about themselves. Moreover, they do it to distract from their shortcomings and insecurities.

Bullies also bully to make themselves look superior, better, smarter, and more powerful. It takes a miserable person to be a bully.

Many bullies aren’t happy at home. They have stressful marriages and family lives. Or, if they’re in school, they have bad relationships with parents and siblings. Therefore, they feel powerless there.

However, at school or work, many bullies can control others to keep from feeling so powerless. So, keep your ears peeled and try to find out what their home life is like.

For example, if you’re in a bathroom stall and you hear your bullies enter the restroom. Draw your feet up and listen in on their conversation. You’d be surprised what you find out!

The trick is to find any good ammunition you can use to your advantage.

10. They’re weak.

Bullies bully because they’re feeble-minded people. Ever wonder why they’re so loud, obnoxious, and pushy?

It’s because they don’t have the brains or social intelligence to get what they want any other way. Therefore, they must use force and intimidation. This is often the reason they use physical violence.

Why? Because it’s the only way they can get their wants and needs met. All this makes for a life of drama and conflict. So, smile about it.

Secrets Bullies Don’t Want You to Know:

11. Bullies are jealous of their victims.

Bullies can’t handle anyone else’s success. And they really flip out when someone they deem inferior accomplishes something big.

They’ll make it their mission to destroy you if you score more wins than them. And it’s the same whether you’re better-looking or more talented.

Understand that bullies despise anyone who has what they want but can’t get it. Therefore, they will try to take it from them. And if they can’t take it, they will punish the person for having it.

However, they would never admit that in a million years. Why? Because jealousy smacks of inferiority. And the last thing any bully wants is to look inferior.

So, feel good about the fact that your bullies are jealous of you. It only proves that you aren’t the inferior one here.

12. They Bully to compensate for their weaknesses and shortcomings.

If bullies can look strong by making you look weak, they can make up for their own weaknesses. Moreover, they can distract the negative spotlight away from themselves and onto you.

Therefore, they use you to hide their own imperfections.

Also, bullies will run with rich people or the popular crowd because it helps them to forget about the fact that they’re nothing. Moreover, they feel this makes up for anything they lack.

Let’s say that a male bully feels he isn’t man enough. He will often drive around in hot cars and flaunt money to make up for the fact that most girls find him disgusting.

Female bullies will often use fashion, makeup, cheap knock-off designer bags, and the latest hairstyles to compensate for the fact that few people like them. Or they may have a bunch of friends and use that to make up for not getting a date.

Who wants to date someone with a haughty attitude? This should give you a huge pick-me-up!

Secrets Bullies Don’t Want You to Know:

13. They crave attention.

Bullies love attention, and they’ll do anything to get it, especially if they have narcissistic personality disorder.

Also, when a bully sees someone who outshines them, they fear that person will take the spotlight away from them. Bullies share attention and recognition with no one.

They must be adored by everyone at all times. They feel they have to be at the center of everything, and the world should revolve around them.

In Conclusion

Bullies have secrets they don’t want exposed, and they’ll move Heaven and Earth to keep those secrets from coming out. Therefore, use this information to boost your confidence!

But wait, there’s more! Bullies also have secrets for gaining power. Click here to learn more.

This post was all about the secrets bullies don’t want you to know so that you’ll realize that bullies are pathetic and get a huge confidence boost.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

2.  Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies

3. Physical Bullies: 9 Secrets You Should Know

4. Things School Bullies Try to Hide: 13 Things They’re Ashamed Of

5. 5 Things to Never Do with a Bully

bullies are cowards in disguise

Bullies are Cowards: Why Targets are the Brave Ones

‘Want to know why bullies are cowards and how victims are the brave ones? Here is everything you need to know.

bullies are cowards

Photos from Canva

In a world where appearances prevail, it would seem that bullies are the brave ones and targets are the cowards. But things aren’t always what they seem. Now, are they?

In this post, you will learn why bullies are cowards and victims are the brave ones.

Once you learn all about these essential truths, you will feel better knowing that you are better off than your bullies will ever be.

This post is all about why bullies are often cowards, so that you can see your bullies for who they truly are and begin standing up to them.

Bullies are Cowards

Have you noticed that bullies love to talk smack? They trumpet to the world about how tough they are. Moreover, they believe that everyone else should bow down and tremble before them.

Bullies work hard at beating their chests and bluffing. However, it only goes to prove that they’re the least confident and most insecure schmucks on the face of the earth.

Why? Because anyone who must announce that they’re tough can’t be. When something is there, you don’t have to try and show it.

Those who are tough are usually the quiet ones. They don’t have to talk about it. How many times have you heard stories about the quiet kid beating the crap out of the loudmouth bully who pushed him too far?

The ones who are truly tough never talk. You don’t see these people running around, spouting off about how tough they are because they don’t have to.

They don’t need to tell you about it because they already know they’re tough and there’s no need to prove it to anyone. They’ve already proven it to themselves, and that’s enough.

Bluffs, Blowhards, and Windbags

Therefore, if any bully messes with them, they will get hurt.

I’ve dealt with droves of bullies, and one thing I noticed a long time ago is that they’re loudmouth losers. They puff out their chests and flap their lips. They talk about how they’re going to kick this person’s butt, whip that person’s butt- they never stop.

Additionally, many bullies may employ passive-aggressive tactics. Because they’re too scared to be direct, they like to hurl subtle zingers your way, hoping you won’t notice.

With these chumps, it’s one pissing contest after another.

Bullies are Cowards:

They Quickly Grow Boring.

As a result, having to listen to their gas constantly gets boring fast. Why? Because, again, that’s all you hear out of them.

Anyone who must spit such rubbish isn’t only trying to convince the rest of the world. They’re also trying to convince themselves.

These are characteristics of every single chump who has ever bullied me in my lifetime. It’s not only pathetic, but laughable that they must go through life this way.

Furthermore, these people are so incredibly insecure that you can trigger them just by challenging them in any way. Their egos are that fragile.

These bullies may even approach you and get in your face if they have their entourage of lackeys behind them. Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying, know this.

Your bullies are total fakes. They’re phonies. Cowards. Chumps!

All You Can Do is Pity Them.

When you stop and think about it, it’s hard to hate anyone who is this pathetic. The only thing you can do is feel sorry for such pitiful souls.

Again, remember that those who are genuinely tough don’t have to talk about it. It’s just there.

Always remember this the next time a bully gets in your face or shoots their mouth off. Feel confident in knowing that you’re not like this person and you don’t have to resort to such buffoonery. This alone should be a real self-esteem booster.

Have you noticed that many little people can be the biggest bullies?

Bullies are Cowards:

Bullies with Napoleon Complexes

Many bullies in school were insecure because they were short, skinny, or both. So, they would compensate for that by bullying others.

They would intimidate others by walking around with a scowl on their faces. Or they’d scream, yell, and talk real tough. It’s hilarious when I look back now.

Many of these little squirts do this, and there’s a name for it. It’s called either the “Napoleon Complex” or “little man syndrome.”

Think “Maddy Webber” on the new MacGyver reboot.

Understand that their bark is worse than their bite, and they bully as a defense mechanism. Maybe the little ankle-biters at my school gave me a hard time because bigger kids were bullying them.

But they would never admit it. So, they took the coward’s way out and searched for someone they thought was weaker.

They’d come at you with their spitfire tempers and want to try to fight you. Then they’d wonder why they got a good whack in the nose. Next, they’d either run, crying to a teacher, or they’d go bark up someone else’s tree.

I was small myself, weighing about 120 pounds and standing at only 5’3″ -5’4″. However, some of these kids were even smaller than I was. Such kids are in every school, and you even have tiny adults who behave the same way at work.

We even had a few short and skinny teachers. And they’d scream and yell at the students when they’d get too noisy.

I knew of one male English teacher who’d go wild. He would slam his fists down on his desk or shake his fists in the air.  He would even throw erasers at students and scream like a banshee.

We just knew this little guy was a future resident at the state mental hospital.

Bullies are Cowards:

Real Life Experiences with Tiny Bullies

Even as an adult, I’ve seen different people (especially men) at work who were short and lanky. Yet, they would bark loudly, and I couldn’t help but think that they were compensating somehow for their stature.

Their screaming, cursing, posturing, and jockeying seemed to give them some sense of power. I’m not posting this to make fun of little people. Not all of them are like this. As I mentioned earlier, I’m only 5’4″.

We all come in different sizes and varieties, and we should celebrate those differences. But when you feel you have to bully others to make up for a weakness, you only show what a scared little coward you are. And people like me see right through you, and all we do is laugh.

Try a little kindness instead. Then, when a bigger bully comes for you, we just might come to your defense instead of laughing at you.

Cyber-bullies are the biggest cowards of all.

Bullies are cowards, but Cyber-bullies are the biggest, most pathetic ones.

They sit in the safety of their homes or their mom’s basements, attics, and backyard sheds. And they hide behind fake profiles and screen names, trolling the internet and social media in search of victims.

If you’ve ever dealt with a cyber-bully, I know how you feel. Words do have power, and it’s easy to be hurt when anyone attacks you, online or off. I, too, used to get upset when I’d look at my instant messages and find that some idiot had sent me a flamer.

However, today, I’ve learned to see it for what it is and the cyber-bullies for who they are. And that in itself can be a real boost to self-esteem.

When I think of the term “cyber-bully,” I instantly get a mental picture of one of two types of people:

1. Some broke, unemployed, and shirtless fat guy sitting and typing on a computer in his granny’s basement, while stuffing his face with Cheetos and sporting a man-bun.

2. A skinny, pimple-faced, bespectacled geek who only trolls the net to compensate for his lack of sex and a social life in the real world.

Occasionally, I still deal with cyberbullies. When I do, one of those pathetic pictures immediately pops up in my mind. And I can’t help but chuckle to myself.

Bullies are Cowards:

If they have time to troll the internet, they can’t be about much.

Because cyber-bullies often use a fake profile or screen name with either a blank photo or one that’s fake, it only shows that they’re faceless cowards and not to be taken seriously.

These losers talk so big and tough behind that keyboard- oh, yeah! They’re real badasses online. But you can bet that if they ever saw you on the street, they wouldn’t have the sack to step up.

So, ask yourself these questions.

  • Should I take these wusses so seriously?
  • Should I give these worthless schmucks the power to make us feel bad about ourselves?
  • Should I value their useless gibberish?

I can’t speak for anyone else. However, I have a hard time valuing the worthless opinions of anyone who doesn’t have a name or face.

Any person who’s a Rambo in cyberspace but a George McFly on the street, I can only take with a horselaugh and a grain of salt.

You either have a big, brass pair or you don’t.

It takes a real zero to spend even a few hours a day trolling other users. You just know that the person has no ambition, no prospects, and no life.

Understand that when you’re cyber-bullied, often you’re dealing with a poor soul who is bored, lonely, and miserable.

And the only way they can feel good about themselves and have power is to do what they’re doing now.

Therefore, if you are cyber-bullied online, you shouldn’t put too much stock in their opinions. Their words don’t carry a lot of weight.

Understand that cyber-bullies are often people who flame others because they’re insecure, self-loathing, and have nothing going for them. Online is the only way these pathetic losers can have a social life.

That alone speaks volumes about the kind of people they are and the crappy lives they lead. So, again, should you take these losers seriously? Are they worth getting angry or depressed over?

These idiots can’t make you feel bad about yourself unless you allow them to.

Bullies are Cowards:

For words to have power over you, you must first consider the source.

Though words have power, and they can hurt you, you should always consider the source. Because in truth, most cyber-bullies live miserable existences and should only be pitied.

Yet, victims are (mistakenly) branded as cowards. They are the ones who come to school or work and face bullies… alone, no matter how viciously they get brutalized.

Through all the name-calling, the taunts, the brutal beatings, and the threats to their lives, targets manage to reach within themselves and push through another day.

To endure abuse every single day for several years and still find the resolve to soldier on? Now that takes courage! Targets of bullying are the real warriors! Notice I didn’t say victim.

It takes bravery to be a target of relentless bullying and remain standing tall. To endure bouts of daily and constant abuse and make it to the finish line of high school graduation or the end-of-week paycheck? That takes guts!

To stay in the race while most bullies drop out of school or quit their jobs when the going gets tough? That’s not only brave, but it’s also heroic! To be your own hero? That takes bravery bullies will never have.

So take advantage of it and shut your bullies down for good! Continue to be brave. You don’t have to be an easy target.

Always remember that bullies are the real cowards. 

This post explained why bullies are cowards so that their games DON’T have the effect on you they once did, and you can feel better about yourself knowing that you aren’t them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Shut Down a Bully: 11 Comebacks that Stop Them Cold

2. Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target

3. Passive-Aggressive Bullying: 7 Hallmarks of Sneak Dissing

why bullies are such good liars google

Why Bullies are Such Good Liars: 9 Ways They Deceive

‘Want to know why bullies are such good liars? Here are all the reasons they make their lies look like the truth and what you can do.

why bullies are such good liars

Photos from Canva

As any victim of bullying knows, bullies are expert liars. If you’re a target of bullying, have you ever wondered why? Moreover, have you ever wondered how they do it?

In this post, you will learn why bullies are such good liars. Also, you will learn exactly how they successfully deceive others so that you can call it out.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will know the exact ways bullies lie so successfully. Even better, you will be able to recognize it when they do it so that you can peg them on their BS and weaponize it to protect yourself.

This post is all about why bullies are such good liars so that you can have your bullies’ number and use it to bust them.

Why Bullies are Such Good Liars

The reason why bullies are pros at lying is that they rarely tell bald-faced lies. Instead, they embellish on the truth. They may also take away from the truth.

‘You see? Bald-faced lies are too easy to find out. Therefore, all bullies need is a tiny grain of truth. Then, they can make their lies more believable.

So, what do bullies do to make their lies so convincing?

1. They Exaggerate.

They’re the kinds of deception bullies love to practice. Bullies understand, perhaps more than anyone else, that a pure lie isn’t likely to be believed.  It would only discredit them.

However, if they tell a half-truth, which is a lie that contains even a tiny grain of truth, people will more than likely believe it.

When a bully exaggerates facts, they blow them up and make them bigger than what they are. For example, a bully will provoke you and keep provoking you until you get fed up.

In a low but angry growl, you tell the bully to buzz off. The bully will then tell everyone else about the altercation, making sure to stretch the truth.

The bully will then exaggerate what happened by telling others that you screamed and cursed them out. Also, they’ll make sure to leave out the part where they kept provoking you until you got tired of their crap and told them to buzz off.

2. Why Bullies are Such Good Liars:

They Distort facts.

The bully may even distort the truth. They may do this by saying that you told them to f*** off when they know that you told them to buzz off.

Distortions are also perfect for bullies because, like exaggerations, there’s always a degree of truth to them.

Here’s another example. Your bully supervisor tells you to do a task. You haven’t yet completed the first task, and you must finish it in the next thirty minutes to meet the deadline.

You tell the bully boss that you’ll get started on it as soon as you’re finished with the current task. The bully boss goes to management and distorts everything.

He exaggerates your response by telling management that you refused to do the task. Therefore, he tells them that you’re being insubordinate.

Moreover, he conveniently leaves out that you told him that you would fulfill his request as soon as you got done with the task at hand. As a result, management reprimands you and gives you a write-up for insubordination, not knowing the whole story.

This is how exaggerations and distortions work.

Therefore, it’s important that you know how to name lies like this. Why? Because, when you can put a name on them, you sound so much better to your listener. You can better communicate what the bullies are doing without rambling.

3. Why Bullies are Such Good Liars:

They take things out of context.

Bullies are experts at taking things out of context. They can twist it and spin it to fit their narrative.

For example, an author writes a tell-all book about the abuse she suffered. One of her former abusers buys it and reads it.

The abuser comes to the part where two more of the author’s abusers die in a tragic accident. The other two happen to be the reader’s friends.

In the book, the author also admits that, when the two abusers died, she didn’t give a damn. And the author sees the deaths as two fewer monsters she’d have to deal with.

However, she does mention that her feelings about the deaths have changed in the years since the accident.

The reader is outraged at what she reads. So, she takes it out of context. Therefore, she tells the rest of her friends about the book, leaving out the part in the book where the author wrote that she no longer felt glad the two abusers were dead.

Instead, she tells everyone that the author still feels happy that the two people are dead. In fact, she makes it sound as if the author celebrates it now.

And she tells them not to read the book because it will only upset them.

However, here’s the real reason she tells others not to read it. It’s because she’s afraid that if they read the book, they’ll figure out her lie.

Therefore, bullies love taking things out of context because, nine times out of ten, it works like a charm!

4. Why Bullies are Such Good Liars:

They Use Confabulations.

Many times, your bullies will blow up on you for absolutely no reason. Later, when others question them about the blow-up, they can’t remember why they lost their temper.

So, your bullies conveniently drum up fake memories to fill in the blanks. But know the reason behind this. They do it in order to sound plausible instead of ridiculous.

When bullies confabulate, they do it to feel sane. And the way they feel sane is to insert these made-up stories. I’ve seen this happen many times.

In fact, many of my bullies justified themselves to others by using the same method. Here’s another thing about confabulations.

People can mistake them for real memories. Therefore, when bullies confabulate a justifiable reason for their appalling behavior, they believe themselves.

So, is it any wonder that most abusers appear to be telling the truth when they justify and rationalize away their abusive actions? When a person believes their own lies, others are more likely to believe them too. It’s a fact.

This is another reason bullies are talented liars.

5. Why Bullies are Such Good Liars:

Confirmation Bias.

People will believe what they want to believe. And no amount of solid evidence will convince them if they refuse to believe it.

Sadly, the only way confirmation bias has anything to do with truth is when it matches the belief. Therefore, if the truth doesn’t match the person’s beliefs, chances are they’ll only deny it.

Moreover, they’ll look elsewhere for evidence that contradicts it.

Your bullies will do the same when it comes to you. To justify and explain away their cruelty, they’ll find proof that supports their opinions of you.

For instance, bullies abuse you, and they get caught. Later, they have to stand tall before a member of authority to answer for their abuse.

Searching for information that fits

So, the bullies tell the person in authority that there’s a good reason why they beat you up. They make up some cockamamie excuse for their brutality.

In other words, they find ways to blame you. They may say that you instigated the fight by starting a rumor that could cost them their reputations. And they just had to teach you a lesson.

This is what confirmation bias is- it’s the tendency to recall, interpret, and favor information in a way that confirms a pre-existing belief.

Think about it. The media does this all the time. A witness may pull out their phone and film something terrible that is happening right before their eyes. They then send it to a news station to be broadcast.

When the news media gets a hold of the film, they will edit out anything that doesn’t fit their beliefs. And they’ll only show the bits and pieces of the film that best fit the story they wish to put out.

If they get an audio recording, they will also edit it and create soundbites, only broadcasting fragments of the recording that best fit the story they want to tell the public.

It’s all the same.

6. Why Bullies are Such Good Liars:

They use Charm

We all know that bullies are cowards who hide behind a facade of charm and charisma. But what makes that facade?

What are the exact ingredients that make up the bully’s fake charm?

Understand that bullies are like peacocks. They like to strut around and fan out their tails, showing you their prettiest colors.

They do this to collect admirers, followers, and allies. That’s exactly what the bully’s fake charm means to do: draw others to them.

Also, this is how bullies dupe everyone into thinking that they’re perfect and can’t be touched. Only you know what’s behind the facades. Victims are always aware of the real people behind the masks bullies don.

7. They build carefully crafted images.

Impeccable Attire.

Most seasoned and well-practiced bullies dress in the best and latest fashions. These people love to be pleasing to the eyes. Why? Because they understand that most people are materialistic and beauty-obsessed, and everything is based on appearances.

So, they wear the fanciest clothes, the trendiest hairstyles, the best makeup, etc.

They show these things off to give the appearance that they’re rolling in money. Also, they want to give the impression that their life is perfect to impress others. Most of all, bullies also do it to one-up others!

And here’s something else! Many of my bullies didn’t have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out. Not that being poor makes a person bad, but!

Why Bullies are Such Good Liars:

Many bullies go broke just to keep up appearances.

Most bullies will go flat broke buying fancy clothes and sporty cars to pimp around town in. And they’ll do it just to keep up a fake persona.

However, they’ll be up to their eyeballs in debt. Many of them have a hard time paying their bills. They’re the types who will run to mommy and daddy for bailouts and handouts.

And it’s all because they spend a fortune on clothes, hairstyles, manicures, pedicures, facials, cosmetic surgeries, you name it!

As a result, many workplace bullies who commit crimes such as theft, embezzlement, and forgery. Why? Because they live way beyond their means and got their butts in a crack they can’t get out of.

And they eventually get caught!

8. They put on a good show.

Seasoned bullies are also the best showmen. They put on an act to gain admiration, support, or sympathy. They make grand gestures.

They’re good at reading everyone else and finding out their likes and dislikes and how they react to certain stimuli. They make themselves aware of the people and moods around them, then adapt to them.

You’ll often find these bullies standing in the very center of the rooms they’re in. Moreover, they’re the types who despise being outshone, outsmarted, or outdone.

9. Why Bullies are Such Good Liars:

They’re master wordsmiths.

They use clichés, euphemisms, and loaded words to impress others with their speech. Moreover, they use big words to prove how smart they are when, in reality, they’re as incompetent as they come.

They also tell others what they want to hear. This is why they’re such convincing liars and why they’re so good at making you look like the bad guy.

But here’s something else you need to know.

Although seasoned bullies are very popular among people, they’re also hated and feared by rivals and enemies. And they do eventually get brought down. I’ve seen it happen many times.

Julius Caesar was one such example.

“Caesar had his Brutus and Charles I, his Cromwell…” – Patrick Henry.

In Closing

Bullies are fake. Period. Full stop! And, they have been for so long that they’ve become experts at fooling people. In fact, it’s how they gain power.

And it’s how they’re able to pass themselves off as fake friends to unsuspecting victims.

It’s also why they get away with much of their bullying.

Therefore, learn all the tools they use and you’ll be onto them. I promise you!

This post is all about why bullies are such good liars so that you can know how they do it and see behind the fake masks they wear.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

2. Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying? 15 Must-Know Answers 

3. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

what do bullies fear most at work

What Do Bullies Fear Most? 10 Things that Terrify Bullies

‘What do bullies fear most?” you may wonder. You may even wonder if they have any fear at all. But, trust me, they are the biggest cowards of all. Here’s everything that frightens them the most so you can use it to your advantage.

what do bullies fear most

Photos from Canva

Bullies often put on an air of invincibility. They display false bravado and arrogance. However, we all know they’re the biggest cowards in the world!

In this post, you will have all the answers to the question, “What do bullies fear most?” This will prompt you to find ways to use it to your advantage.

Once you learn all about this game-changing information, you will be better able to counter bullying and bully-proof yourself.

Once you read this post, you’ll no longer wonder, “What do bullies fear most?” These answers will be the arsenal you need to protect yourself against the onslaught of bullying.

What do Bullies Fear Most?

‘Ready? Let’s get right into it!

1. Being Exposed

Bullies get by only on appearances. The fronts they put up are only illusions and mirages. Moreover, without the facades they work so hard to maintain, they have no leg to stand on.

Therefore, the constant threat of exposure weighs heavily on them. Understand that the lives of bullies are filled with cracks that just might expose who they really are.

Think of these cracks as smoldering hot spots that threaten to blaze again. Bullies are forever running around pouring buckets of water on these hot spots.

They have to bust ass to make sure these hot spots don’t ignite.

Also, they must continuously struggle to maintain control of everyone and everything, and that’s not easy.

Bullies know that once their real personality seeps through, people will lose respect for them and they’ll lose power. And if they lose power, their mistreatment of others will come back to bite them in the ass… hard!

2. Looking Weak

Anytime you defend yourself, you become a threat to the bullies’ power. Why? Because you automatically put them in positions of weakness. This goes double if you confront them in public.

In other words, if you stand up to them in front of an audience, then you really make them look like punks. As a result, some bullies will retaliate to reinforce their dominance over you.

But wait, there’s another point here. When you make your bullies look weak by standing up to them, you just might start a new trend! You may embolden others to stand up to the bullies too.

Ouch! Just the mere thought of this is painful to bullies!

Courage has a way of spreading and, once it spreads, the bully loses power. Bullies know this. Therefore, they double down by retaliating to reinforce power.

3. What Do Bullies Fear Most?

Taking Risks

Bullies are highly insecure. Therefore, you’ll never see them take risks. They’re too cowardly.

Realize that bullies put up facades and bullshit their way through life. Again, they get by on appearances. That’s it!

Instead of taking risks and working hard to get ahead, they lie, cheat, steal, connive, and scheme to do it.

4. Getting their Asses Kicked

This applies mostly to physical bullies who believe in using their fists to get what they want. Moreover, these types of bullies often believe that kicking ass is what makes a person tough and gets them respect and admiration.

Therefore, they fear running up on someone a little tougher than them and getting their butts handed to them. Especially in front of people!

It’s not so much that they fear the physical pain of a good ass-whipping. It’s the humiliation and the blow to their ego that they fear most.

Moreover, they fear looking like weak little wusses. They also fear that once someone gives them a good beat down, it just may shatter their tough guy reputations and set their own asses up to be bullied.

5. What do Bullies Fear Most?

Being humiliated in public

None of us want humiliation. However, to bullies, being humiliated is the end of the world. Understand that bullies like to be A-1 best… at everything!

Moreover, they crave to be the center of attention and for all humans to worship the ground they walk on. If you humiliate them somehow, it threatens their god-like status and shatters their facade of invincibility.

They know that humiliation just might be the final nail in the coffin to their image of perfection. As a result, it may throw them off their pedestals in the eyes of everyone else.

Gasp!

And don’t think they won’t take revenge on you if you ever cause them to look bad.

6. Losing Their High Social Status

This goes especially for bullies who are popular. Their social capital is their power. Therefore, if they lose that, their power goes with it!

And they know it!

7. Losing Control over you

Bullies fear losing power over you. Why do you think they double down on their attacks when you finally begin standing up to them?

It’s because anytime you defend yourself, your bullies feel that they’re losing the power battle. Or, they’re about to lose.

Therefore, the only way to discourage you from doing that again is to retaliate with greater force. Why? Again, because if you stand your ground and begin refusing their attempts to walk on you, you just might inspire others to do the same.

As a result, you might cause them to lose respect, status, and authority (power).

8. What Do Bullies Fear Most?

Looking foolish

Bullies have big egos. Therefore, they don’t only want to look tough or attractive; they also want to look smart. Again, bullies want to be the best at everything, or, at least, look like they are.

If you make a bully look like an idiot, whether it’s through a good response to their attacks or a dirty trick to embarrass them, they will retaliate with the fury of Satan.

Again, the bully’s facade is that of perfection. And if you shatter their false image, look out!

9. Being Alone

Bullies are like wolves. They usually run in packs.

Strength does come in numbers. Therefore, bullies are notorious for having an entourage behind them when they attack their victims.

A group of bullies always has a ringleader, or main bully. The ringleader keeps the other group members on standby not only to intimidate you but for protection in case you stand up to them.

You must realize that bullies are cowards. Therefore, they will never have the guts to fight alone.

Moreover, social science has proved that comradeship is born when two or more people can find something (or someone)they dislike. In other words, a group must have a common enemy they can all share a passionate hatred for.

And if members of the group do not feel they can get solidarity any other way, they will find or create an enemy they can all unite against.

Therefore, they may single you out and harass you for purposes of group unity. If it’s the only way they can forge camaraderie among the other bullies in the group, then why not?

Put another way, they use you as a vehicle for interaction, ingratiation, and bonding.

Again, uniting against an enemy ensures group solidarity. Each member takes turns bullying you because they know that the rest of the pack expects them to.

Therefore, they commit the harassment to ‘fit in’ and get rewards of group unity at your expense. Today, we call this “pack mentality” or “herd mentality.”

And sadly, most people will do anything, right or wrong, to follow the rest of the herd.

10. What Do Bullies Fear Most?

That you’ll outshine them

Understand that bullies are highly jealous people with fragile egos. Moreover, they feel threatened by anyone who outshines them in any way.

Therefore, any success you achieve will threaten their power. Moreover, it would crush their egos. You must realize that bullies can’t handle any success of someone they deem inferior to them.

They’ll tune out anyone who brags about you for a success or accomplishment well done. They’ll downplay your achievements.

Why? Because, again, your success is a huge threat to their power. Your achievements put cracks in their superiority. They’ll do anything to block out anyone who gives you praise.

However, this is what bullies do. They put up mental walls to block any threatening messages and info. And they do this to keep anything from penetrating their grandiose sense of self-importance.

Moreover, they support those walls by hurling ugly names and insults at you.

Bullies won’t tolerate being overshadowed by a little peon like you. No. Never! So, if you ever score a huge win, expect your bullies to punish you for daring to upstage them.

Workplace bullies are notorious for bullying those who outshine them at work.

How you use your bullies’ fears to your advantage is to do the things they fear most. Speak out. Call them out on their behavior. Stand up to them and do it in public if you must. Find ways to weaponize your bullies’ worst fears!

This post gives you all the answers to the question, “What do Bullies Fear Most?” These answers allow you to have knowledge of the bully’s weaknesses so that you can weaponize them and use them to your advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Jealousy and Bullying: 7 Proven Signs Your Bullies are Jealous

2. Things School Bullies Try to Hide: 13 Things They’re Ashamed Of

3. Cliques and Bullying: 3 Dirty Secrets Cliques Try to Hide

4. Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up