l ‘Want to know how to make your enemy your friend? Here are ways you can do so and how rewarding it can be.
Turning your enemy into a friend is the best way to defeat them.
In this post, you will learn exactly how to make your enemy your friend by learning the ways to do it successfully.
Once you learn all about these important and life-changing steps, you will be a force to be reckoned with. Only, you’ll use love and kindness as that force.
This post is all about how to make your enemy your friend so that you can not only create one of the best kinds of friendships, but also vanquish an enemy in the sneakiest but kindest of ways.
Make Your Enemy Your Friend
Even though I try to make all my posts all about you, the reader, I would like to tell you a personal story. Not to make it about me, but to inspire you and give you hope, especially if you’re a victim of bullying.
Therefore, I want you to know that what I’m about to share with you is for your benefit. Before we go on, know that this may not work for everyone because every situation is different. However, it worked for me, so there’s a strong chance that it’ll work for you too.
Here’s how I turned one of my fiercest enemies into one of my best friends.
Shelly (not her real name) had been one of my most vicious bullies during school. Every time we passed one another in the halls, at a ballgame, anywhere, we would not hesitate to exchange nasty sentiments as we passed each other.
Typical kid bullies.
Therefore, names like “Bitch!”, “Whore!” “Skank!” was always our go-to insult. Thinking up ways to degrade and slut-shame each other was always a top priority during these little meetings.
Fast-forward twenty years: in late 2007, I went to a karaoke show at the Moose Lodge club on the outskirts of town. Moreover, I wanted to celebrate having the courage to break off what had been a 2 1/2 year-long abusive relationship, and I was ready for a fun girls’ night out.
When I arrived at the Moose Lodge with a few friends in tow, the first word I heard was, “Oh my God! Not that bitch!” Honestly, I thought the verbal assault was directed at someone else until I looked up and saw her.
There Shelly stood, pool cue in one hand, the other hand resting on her boyfriend’s back as her eyes and brows narrowed into little slits in her face and bore into me like a sharp object.
Make your enemy your friend:
running into an old school bully as an adult.
I had not seen her in about twenty years. And I’d wondered how she’d dragged around so much hate for so long.
I had completely forgotten about her amid juggling bills, a job, family, and other adult priorities. But I also discovered that maybe I, too, had some unresolved hate. Only it was a case of out of sight, out of mind.
I’d soon learn that Shelly was at the lowest point of her life that night. Life hadn’t been kind to her. She had been through some things. And even though she seemed to still hate me, all I could feel was bad for her.
It seemed that on her part, even twenty years, marriages and children hadn’t been enough to erase the teenage animosity she still held. We lived in a small Southern town.
And in small Southern towns, very few people ever forget the past. Therefore, it’s easy for your old reputation to follow you for the rest of your life. Sadly, this is how it is in any small town.
Having always loved music and had vocal talent, I got up and sang one of my favorite songs. Everyone cheered once I was finished.
From Bullies to Buddies
After I sat down, Shelly sat down beside me and was very impressed with my performance. She told me that she admired my voice. She said that she’d always known I could sing, but didn’t know I was that good.
At first, I was flabbergasted. This was the first positive remark I’d heard from her. Nevertheless, I was grateful. I smiled and gave her a gracious “Thank you. It’s good to see you again after all these years.”
We continued talking, and she took some pictures from her purse to show me. Pictures of what was her talent- woodwork and paintings, the most beautiful work I’d ever seen.
This lady was very talented, and I couldn’t or wouldn’t deny it. I truly loved her work and could not stop looking at those pictures and complimenting her. She truly was an expert at woodworking and oil painting.
It was at that point that the dynamics of our relationship changed. We exchanged phone numbers and began calling each other. We also texted cute little funnies back and forth.
Her boyfriend, Duane, was also a former bully who became one of my dearest friends. And we remain friends today.
He and Shelly had run into each other when she was grieving her late husband. And he was there for her during the toughest time in her life.
Make Your Enemy Your Friend:
Apologies Made
During one phone call, Shelly told me something I’d never forget. She said, “Cherie, do you remember how badly I treated you at the club?”
“Yes,” I said.
Shelly went on.
“I want to apologize for that. You see? I was in a bad place that night. I had been through hell for the last few years. My husband died from cancer, and then I started self-medicating. I had just quit doing that, and the withdrawals were hell. I didn’t like myself very well. Even in high school, I didn’t like myself, and I took it out on you and anyone else I didn’t like. I was hurting. And I just want to say that I’m truly sorry.”
Right then, I could only feel compassion for her. So, I said, “I forgive you, honey.”
I then apologized to her.
“I’m sorry too, Shelly. There were times I could’ve acted better, too.”
From there, our friendship took off. We began inviting each other to family outings, cookouts, and lunch meetings in town.
And We became like sisters.
We soon became the best of friends. And I grew to love this lady like a sister. We often talked about how we missed out on what could have been a wonderful friendship years ago.
“Boy! We were stupid back then, weren’t we?” Shelly would laugh, “If we’d given each other a chance in school, we could’ve had so much fun together.”
I laughed and readily agreed. She was right. We were dumb kids with big mouths and bad attitudes.
The past couldn’t be changed. But we could start over. We could go from there and make our friendship as fun as possible. And that’s what we did.
These years were awesome! We continued to have coffee meetings and lunch get-togethers. Cookouts. Shindigs. Visits back and forth.
Make Your Enemy Your Friend:
Being There for Each Other.
It’s funny how we grow through the years. In high school, I thought she was so cruel yet totally in control and didn’t need anyone. But she was really a girl who didn’t feel loved by anyone.
She was just as sad as I was, but had put on a tough exterior. Also, she had suffered incidents of bullying herself; though not as severe as I did, it still hurt her years later.
She was there for me when I lost my last husband to suicide. And I visited her in the hospital when she got sick.
I remember getting the call on my cellphone on the way to work. I pulled the car over, and before I could answer the phone, the ringing stopped.
So I called the number back, and it was our mutual friend, Debbie. She called to inform me that, sadly, Shelly had passed away in the wee hours that morning.
friends for a decade
Our friendship on earth had lasted exactly ten years. We became friends in late 2007. And she died in late 2017. (Here is where I begin crying and take a few minutes break from writing this post.)
Ten years is much shorter than we think. The ten years with Shelly as my friend were wonderful. But they went by too fast.
There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of her. I’ll never forget that night at the karaoke club, the night Shelly and I became close friends. And we remained like sisters until the day she died.
By showing her genuine interest, I was able to turn one of the most resistant bullies into one of my best friends. And I’m so thankful for the time I got to spend with her.
I’m also grateful that I got to see the beautiful person behind the mean exterior. Shelly was a lady hiding a lot of past hurts and brokenness! And I miss her, I miss her so much.
Fly high, Shelly! Until we meet again on those golden streets! I miss you so much.
Make Your Enemy Your Friend:
In conclusion
The moral of this story is this.
You can turn a bully into a friend. Nothing is impossible. All it takes is to break down that wall by showing the other person genuine interest.
Everybody loves it when you are interested in them. This goes for even the coldest and meanest of people.
As humans, we all have a certain degree of selfishness. We all want the same things- to be loved, appreciated, and respected. Everybody has a void waiting to be filled.
If we can fill the void by making the person feel loved, it can be the difference between gaining a friend and keeping an enemy.
In Loving Memory:
🌹 Stephanie Rains Shoemake 🌹
(1971 – 2017)
This post was all about how to make your enemy your friend. It is also a Story of hope and to honor a friend.
Related posts you’ll enjoy: