Want to know how popular bullies use their social capital as leverage? Here’s everything you need to know.
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Popular bullies are the most destructive to their victims. These are the bullies with the most social connections. They have friends in high places.
Often, they have lots of power. Therefore, in this post, you will learn about popular bullies and how they use their social status to bury you.
Once you learn all this crucial information, you will be better able to outsmart them and save yourself a ton of trouble.
This post is all about popular bullies and the tactics they use, so you’ll be prepared to counter any attack they launch.
Popular Bullies
These kinds of bullies are the most feared in schools, workplaces, neighborhoods, and communities. They can be the “cool kids” at school or the “Good Ol’ Boy” clique at work or in town.
Moreover, they can also be local politicians and businessmen. Or they’re members of well-known families in a particular area.
Money does help. However, these people don’t necessarily have to be rich to have these connections. I’ve known those who were quite poor who had these types of relationships as well.
What gives them their power is their connections with the right people. This is why bullies in these select groups are especially dangerous. They cause the most damage to their targets.
It isn’t money, it’s relationships with the right people.
These types of bullies proactively build a network of social relationships to reinforce their power. Therefore, they get protection from any accountability. In many cases, they already have close, well-established ties that go back several years.
These tight connections ensure that the bullies stay above reproach. Worst of all, they also give them carte blanche to ride roughshod over anyone freely and with impunity. These types will watch you closely.
These bullies know they have good name recognition, and they take advantage of it. Any time a bully has a ton of social capital, others will not risk alienating them. Why? They fear becoming the next target.
And if they target you, their followers will only follow their lead.
Popular Bullies:
Weaponizing their connections and popularity
This is why the most popular and well-connected bullies get away with deplorable behavior. They can do anything they want to anyone.
And they will use their connections and influence to destroy every aspect of your life. Also, they’ll never stop coming after you.
Understand that these bullies are very influential, persuasive, and, most of all, convincing. Their names alone carry considerable weight.
Moreover, they have trust, mutual understanding, and shared values that promote unity and strengthen their group. When one of them says something, even outsiders listen and take their word as fact!
Sacred Cows
They’re like “sacred cows” because they’re those whom others don’t dare question or speak against. And this goes even if they’re in the wrong.
When it comes to sacred cows, others may not necessarily like them. They may even hate them, but they do fear them.
So, even haters are careful not to speak against them publicly. They won’t even do it within earshot.
And if you’re a victim of these people, they can make your life hell. They can tarnish your name with smear campaigns. And others will believe it simply because of who the rumors and lies come from.
Popular Bullies:
Worst case Scenarios
They can also cause you to lose your job and black-list you, robbing you of any opportunity to find other employment. Moreover, they can destroy your ability to make new friends because others will be too afraid to associate with you.
If you own a business, they can discourage customers from patronizing it. They can also have their worker bees set it on fire and burn it to the ground.
And don’t put it past these bullies to trump up false criminal charges against you. They’ve been known to set innocent people up to be arrested. Or worse, they may send henchmen to pay you a visit or meet you on the street.
If you’re a kid in school, your self-esteem can also take a harder hit. And you’re likely to be paralyzed with fear.
So, how do they use their social capital to bully?
Many victims wonder how they do it. If you’re one of them, here are the answers you’ve been looking for.
1. They Control the overall narrative
These bullies decide who’s hot and who’s not. Who they target, who they leave alone, and who they favor. In other words, they choose who gets abused and who gets special treatment.
And they’re very protective of those they like. If you happen to get on their good side, then you will have a few perks. If you happen to be neutral and avoid their radar, you’re one of the lucky ones.
If they don’t like someone, they’ll use the power of suggestion to spread subtle rumors and lies. If you’re a target, they’ll paint you as unstable or dramatic. Then they’ll stand back and let the court of public opinion do its job
And why not? They already have credibility. So, others will automatically believe them.
Popular Bullies:
Once a Target, Always a Target.
. Additionally, they may even provoke you. Then they’ll retell the events in ways that make them look like the victim.
Moreover, once they have you in their sights, there’s no getting away from it. You’ll stay a target. If you’re foolish, you may try sucking up to them to get on their good side. But it won’t work.
You’ll only end up looking like a kiss-ass. And they (and everyone else) will laugh at you and keep treating you like something they scrape off the bottom of their shoe.
Again, once a target, always a target. It won’t matter what you do to try to appease them.
2. They turn bullying into fun and games.
Popular bullies are slick. They don’t bully you openly. Instead, they do it behind the veil of jokes. Or they may use sarcasm. You might even see them give an eye roll.
These kinds of bullies may also make impressions of you or create cruel memes about you. They use these tactics to bully you and avoid accountability. Worst of all, they usually do it in public.
And if you react, witnesses will laugh harder. The bullies will say that you’re “too sensitive” while acting innocent.
And you’ve got to admit. This is a good tactic because it does two things. It makes the bullies look like they’re only playing. And it gets bystanders involved without them knowing it.
Popular Bullies:
3. They use Social Exclusion.
Exclusion is one of the most powerful bullying tactics because it hides in plain sight. These kinds of bullies decide who’s in and who’s out.
For instance, they may organize an event and leave you out. They may create group chats without you (but about you). They may also ignore you publicly.
Also, they may silently pressure others not to talk to you. And the others may secretly like you and want to talk to you. However, they won’t do it in public because they’re afraid of losing their own social status.
4. They get others to do their dirty work for them.
Popular bullies fear exposure. Therefore, they’ll often use proxies to bully. In other words, they get others to bully you for them. They may drop hints rather than give open demands.
And the people they get to attack you are usually those of lower status. Why? Because those on the lower end of the hierarchy are trying to climb it.
But how do they motivate them? Easy! They give them incentives. They may promise to reward the proxy with a higher social status. Therefore, the worker bee will do what they must do to get it.
Popular Bullies:
5. They recruit authority figures.
Popular bullies are charismatic. And they use that to their advantage. They create positive connections with those in authority. For example, school bullies may build friendships with teachers and coaches.
They may also bond with other kids’ parents and family members. High-status bullies may appear respectful to adults. Moreover, they may be high academic achievers. And this impresses teachers and school staff.
On the other hand, others see you as “difficult” or “mentally imbalanced.”
They’re highly skilled in the social arena. This gives them a protective shield. So, if you report them for bullying you, others are likely to say, “This doesn’t sound like them.”
Charismatic bullies are harder to report.
6. They Use Social Risk against you.
People fear social punishment the most. And popular bullies know it. Therefore, they create an environment where talking to you is dangerous. And disagreement is death.
The unspoken message is, “You’re either with us or against us.” Therefore, they make it impossible for anyone to be neutral.
Bystanders will stay silent to avoid losing friends, losing status, and becoming the next target. Therefore, bullying you becomes the status quo. Then, it becomes systemic.
Popular Bullies:
7. They Destroy your reputation.
These kinds of bullies can slowly influence others’ opinions of you. They may stick you with embarrassing labels and point out negative traits.
They may also exaggerate your mistakes and repeatedly bring up past incidents. Over time, people stop seeing you as a person. Instead, they begin seeing you as a collection of flaws and shortcomings.
And, instead of seeing you through their own lens, they begin seeing you through the eyes of the bullies.
8. They take the moral high ground.
Many high-status bullies act like they’re morally superior. Instead of saying, “We hate her,” they may say, “She’s toxic,” “she’s mentally unstable,” or “she deserves it.”
By doing this, they reframe their cruelty as justice. It also gives bystanders permission to join in without feeling guilty. Instead, they get to feel like heroes.
Popular Bullies:
9. They publicly humiliate you regularly.
Public humiliation rituals are the worst kind of bullying a victim can suffer. People bullies love the audience. They like to target you in front of people.
For instance, they may attack you in class or in the lunchroom, where huge crowds gather. And they don’t only want to harm you, they want to show off their status by lowering yours.
So, they do this by publicly embarrassing you because it strengthens their dominance and reinforces the social ranking system.
Popular Bullies:
10. They use kindness as a strategy.
Strategic kindness is the best way to cover evil. These bullies may act nice in short bursts. They may compliment you occasionally. And they may be sweet to you in public and cruel in private.
However, they do this deliberately. And the reason is to keep you confused and on the back foot. You see, if they can keep you off balance, then they can bully you much more easily.
So, what can you do to protect yourself against these vile bullies?
It may seem so, but your situation isn’t hopeless. There are things you can do to lessen the damage and buffer your self-esteem from the attacks.
1. Build your own social capital.
In other words, befriend and align yourself with other targets. Why? Because you probably aren’t the only one these bullies torment.
If you can find people who were once a part of the bullies’ circle but were kicked out, that’s even better! They would be the ones who have private info about each of the bullies and their sycophants.
Moreover, they’ll be looking for a little payback. So, they’ll be only too happy to give you the details!
Establish tight connections with your fellow targets and those your bullies have double-crossed. Band together with them because nothing unites people like the shared anger and hatred toward an enemy.
Popular Bullies:
2. Be seen with your new friends.
Pal around with or eat out with them. Be sure you’re seen with as many of them as possible. This will provide you with a little protection! And the more targets and outcasts you connect with, the better!
Most importantly, always have their backs and make sure they have yours!
3. Make friends and handle your business outside the bullies’ element.
Make friends, take jobs, and seize opportunities away from town. If need be, move to a new area. Tell no one of your plans, where your new job is, your address, or where you’re moving to. Sometimes, it’s just best to vanish!
Do these things, and you’ll be much safer!
In Conclusion
Popular bullies get away with their abuse because social status gives them protection. People tend to trust those with high status more. Why? Because they often mistake popularity for goodness.
High-status bullies live under the Halo Effect. Therefore, people will likely excuse their evil deeds. Also, they’ll listen to public opinion and avoid the risk of being ostracized.
However, there are things you can do to protect yourself from popular bullies. Let’s do a quick recap on how to protect yourself.
- Build your own social capital. In other words, make friends with other targets.
- Be seen with your new friends.
- Make friends and handle your business outside the bullies’ element.
This post was all about popular bullies and the ways they use social capital to bully you. It also gave you a few tips you can use to protect yourself from them so that you can bully-proof yourself and live in peace.
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