not knowing who you are Archives

Not knowing who you are makes you susceptible to bullying and abuse. Want to know why? Here’s everything you need to know.

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Not knowing who you are can make your life harder than it should be. Why? Because it can leave you wide open to be manipulated.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why it’s so unhealthy and what you can do to rediscover who you are.

Once you learn this crucial information, you will be compelled to take the steps needed for self-discovery so that you won’t let others define you.

This post will explain the problem of not knowing who you are so that you can get on the road to self-knowledge.

Not Knowing Who You Are

If you don’t know yourself, you’re much more susceptible to human predators who will exploit you. You’ll be easy to manipulate and, therefore, easy to bully.

This is why many victims of bullying end up believing everything their bullies tell them. In the end, they hate themselves and try to change. Or they try to act like something they aren’t.

Therefore, if nothing else, remember this. Self-loathing, self-consciousness, and low self-esteem come from not knowing who you are

And they kill peace and happiness. So, what else happens when you don’t know yourself?

Not Knowing Who You Are:

1. You may carry UNNECESSARY Guilt.

Victims of bullying try to prove themselves because they feel guilty for something. And sadly, you don’t have to be a victim of bullying to do this.

All it takes is for the media to brainwash you. Then they can make you believe you’re somehow responsible for all the world’s problems.

But understand this right now! You are not responsible for someone else’s actions.

For example, you see people degrading themselves every day because they don’t want others to label them racist. You saw them take a knee six years ago.

And now, they’re tolerating blatant abuse, and for what? To prove they aren’t racist, or (gasp!) xenophobic?

Maybe they’re trying not to look Islamophobic. So, they allow certain atrocities against anyone with pale skin to prove that they aren’t.

And while they give suicidal empathy, those who knowingly commit violent crimes are laughing. And why would they stop if they know they’ll get away with it?

If you’re carrying guilt that isn’t your burden to carry, stop it right now. Know that a fearful person is a controllable person. Don’t be that person!

Don’t be the person who is constantly trying to prove something to others because, in the end, you only demean and degrade yourself. Realize that you don’t need validation from them.

Not Knowing Who You Are:

If you know who you are, you have nothing to prove.

‘You see? Here’s the thing. If you know who you are, you know you aren’t any of the labels people try to stick you with. Therefore, you don’t have to prove anything.

If you haven’t done anything wrong, then what do you have to feel guilty about? And why virtue signal? Why pander when you don’t have to?

2. You kiss ass and eat shit to prove your virtue.

I hate racism, xenophobia, and homophobia with a passion as much as you do. I hate anything that bullies people because they’re different.

However, I won’t take responsibility for sins that aren’t mine. And I’ll never pander to prove anything because I don’t have to.

I know who I am. And I know my virtues are there whether they’re visible or not. Therefore, I let my character speak for itself.

And that’s what you should do too. Let the truth do the talking. Don’t run from conflict. And stop being afraid that others will label you. Some people are going to do that anyway.

And there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. You can’t control what other people are going to do.

Not Knowing Who You Are:

3. You Let Others Define You.

Define yourself, or others will do it for you.

Bullies may think they know you, and they may attempt to define who you are. However, only you know the definition of who you are.

By having the audacity to tell us who we are, bullies attempt to force us to replace our thoughts of ourselves with theirs. Moreover, they also try to play God.

In doing this, bullies also want to force us to deny our beliefs and convictions. When we let them do this, we ultimately deny ourselves.

They want us to tell ourselves that what they did to us was all in our minds and only make-believe. But they are the ones who live in a world of make-believe.

Understand that to accept someone else’s definition of you, you must discard your own. When you allow bullies to dictate your inner reality, you lose bits and pieces of yourself.

And little by little, you lose awareness of your emotions. You do it each time you allow them to determine your self-definition. Then you eventually grow numb.

4. You care too much about what the wrong people think.

When you worry about the opinions of the wrong people, your self-esteem is low.

Instead of worrying about the opinions of people who don’t care about you anyway, be the person you are. Be the person who shows love only to those who reciprocate it.

Most of all, be the person whose positivity, love, and good deeds speak for themselves. Remember that we’re all human beings deserving of dignity and love.

Refuse to bend over backwards for approval. Everywhere you look, you see those with a victim mentality. Moreover, you see people running around in fear, carrying unnecessary guilt.

Even worse, you see those who degrade themselves to tear off labels bullies have attached to them. Don’t be one of those people. No one determines your worth but you.

Only those who don’t know themselves will bend over backwards and jump through hoops to prove themselves.

Not Knowing Who You Are:

5. You suppress legitimate emotions.

For example, when you cry about a hurt that cuts you to the core, bullies will often invalidate your pain. Moreover, they’ll replace it with their perceptions of it.

They do it by making these biting statements:

“It isn’t that serious!”

“You’re too sensitive!”

“Oh, boo-friggin-hoo! You’re just a little crybaby trying to get attention!”

“Grow up!”

“Put your big-girl panties on!”

“Get over it!”

Understand that when you feel sadness, you feel sadness. And when you’re angry, you’re angry, and you should allow yourself to feel those emotions. So do it, even if others try to trivialize them.

No one has a right to tell you how to feel. Ever!

In making these types of statements, bullies cause you to feel guilty for being a person. However, realize that bullies don’t see you as a person with thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and convictions.

They see you as an abject- a robot they can control. Moreover, bullies don’t see you as an independent and separate being.

They see you as a subject who’s only here for their purpose, pleasure, and entertainment. In their minds, your sole purpose on earth is to make them feel powerful. Nothing more.

So, instead of allowing you to own your truth, bullies will tell you what your truth is, or should be. And they’ll force-feed it to you and cram it down your throat.

BONUS ANSWERS:

Not Knowing Who You Are:

6. You’ll ignore your instincts.

And if you’re not careful, you’ll allow their statements to overtake you. Therefore, you’ll allow their perceptions to replace yours. You’ll begin to see yourself through their eyes until you let them blind you to your true nature.

You’ll slowly lose sight of yourself until you don’t know who you are anymore. Even worse, you’ll lose the intuition that they’re abusing you.

And you will no longer know when to protect yourself. Why? Because you’ll grow numb to the abuse. Realize that this is how bullies and abusers train you not to defend yourself.

And once they succeed, they then have you right where they want you. This is how bullies slowly and subtly take the fight out of victims and render them pacifists.

7. You’ll feel compelled to take abuse.

This is when you put yourself in danger. When you feel so guilty that you allow others to abuse you, you’ve been brainwashed to the greatest extent.

Too many people allow others to abuse them. Why? Because they don’t want the world to see them as racists, or Islamophobes, or whatever the label of the day is.

Moreover, they think they owe them a piece of their ass because “these people are an oppressed group.” Right?

Understand this right now. No one has the right to bully and abuse you. I don’t give a damn what race or religion they are. Moreover, it doesn’t matter how “disadvantaged” a bully is. Wrong is wrong. Abuse is still abuse.

And you have every right to defend yourself. Period. Full stop!

Not knowing Who You Are:

In Conclusion

Do not fall for the propaganda bullies spew. Know who you are. Protect your self-esteem. Why? Because when you know yourself inside and out, you will be able to withstand your bullies’ attacks.

Therefore, do all you can to maintain your sense of self. Refuse to accept others’ opinions and definitions of you.

Never allow others to trick you into believing that they know you better than you know yourself. The truth is that you know yourself better than anyone else in the entire world. Why? Because you’re the only one other than God who lives inside you.

Realize that bullies are persistent. So, hold on to your beliefs and convictions. It’s okay to have your likes, dislikes, and preferences.

Moreover, hold on to your authenticity, autonomy, and your ability to decide when something doesn’t feel good. All of these add up and equal your self-definition. Your worth doesn’t depend on others’ ability to see it.

Your self-definition, sense of self, self-belief, autonomy, confidence, and self-esteem are like precious gems. And you must guard them against thieves who wish to take them.