Want to know bullying from the victim’s point of view? Here are all the personal experiences victims face.
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Want to know what life is like for a victim of bullying? In this post, we will discuss bullying from the victim’s point of view.
And once you realize what it’s like to be the victim of relentless bullying, you will get a better picture of what they go through.
This post is all about bullying from the victim’s point of view, so you will see what the world is like through their eyes.
Bullying from The Victim’s Point of View
Through the eyes of a victim of bullying, the world becomes a scary place. After you’ve been bullied for so long, almost everything terrifies you.
Instead of a friendly place, the world becomes threatening.
Survival Mode.
You start to avoid people and social situations. Why? Because you’re afraid. In short, you lose all faith in humanity.
Everything becomes threatening. You’re stuck in defense mode, constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.
The ability to think becomes blurry. You drown in self-doubt and lose the ability to distinguish fact from opinion. Therefore, you lose the ability to make smart decisions.
You’re always on guard. You trust no one because you can’t afford to. Again, everyone becomes a threat. Even total strangers are threatening.
You can’t give anyone a chance because you’re so afraid of being hurt again. And why not? Your classmates or coworkers have done you wrong for so long. So, who’s to say that others won’t do the same?
Anyone could bully you at any time. Therefore, you must always watch your back and cover your behind. You must continually look over your shoulder. You observe those around you for signs of hostility.
It feels as if you have a mark on you that everyone but you can see. And maybe it’s why others always seem to come after you.
As much as you want to get rid of that mark, you don’t know how.
Bullying from the Victim’s Point of View:
Bullying changes you.
You’ll never be the same person you were before bullies began targeting you. When you’ve been a target of long-term bullying, jokes stop being funny.
Why? Because you automatically feel they are somehow aimed at you. Bullying fills a person with dread. And with good reason.
You lose all confidence. Your self-esteem falls like a meteor until it hits rock bottom. Therefore, your mind is poisoned with the belief that you can never do anything right.
You used to be happy, confident, and carefree. Moreover, you used to be confident. In fact, you once felt like you could do anything and that anything was possible.
But now, you see yourself as a failure. It seems as if you screw up everything you touch. Why? Because your bullies have told you that you’re no good. They’ve repeated this line over and over again.
And they’ve drummed this garbage into your head for so long that you believe it too now. You automatically expect to fail in social situations. And sadly, you usually do.
Why? Because that belief has become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Bullying from the Victim’s Point of View:
You Bury Your Emotions, Stuffing Down Every Tear.
You want to cry but can’t. Why? Because you can’t bear for them to see you cry! Your pride – what little you have left – won’t let you.
Therefore, you don’t give them the satisfaction.
So, you go home that afternoon. And you hide in the privacy of your bedroom. You cry, you scream, and you beat your fists against your pillow.
Through your tears, you release years of pinned-up rage that has festered like a cancerous boil. You fly into a rage and destroy your own bedroom, turning the damn place upside down!
What you really want to do is beat the living hell out of your bullies. You’re not really beating the pillow. No. In your mind, you are beating the living daylights out of them, every single one of them!
You want to do to them what they have done to you.
You Feel Like a Walking, Talking Mistake.
No matter how hard you try to hide your flaws, everyone seems to see them. You feel that the only thing you have going for you is that you aren’t dead.
And the exhaustion is overwhelming.
You’ve tried to hold it together for so long, but you’ve grown tired. Soon, you start experiencing unexpected, uncontrollable meltdowns.
Bullying from the Victim’s Point of View:
You don’t think you’ll ever stop being a target.
There’s that sinking feeling that there’s no possibility of ever overcoming it. Other victims might rise above it. But they aren’t you. So, you don’t think that you ever will.
Therefore, life feels as if love, success, and anything good are for anyone who isn’t you.
You’re physically and emotionally Exhausted.
You’re dog tired. Tired of having to fight to get through the day! You’re sick of constantly ducking and dodging everyone! You’re tired of lying low!
Moreover, you’re sick of having to grow eyes in the back of your head! Tired of being held hostage for eight long hours every day! Tired of others holding you to double standards!
You aren’t just tired; you’re exhausted! Your bullies have worn you down. They’ve trampled your personhood and your rights to be yourself. They’ve stripped away your confidence and crushed your self-esteem.
Moreover, they’ve ridiculed your goals and dreams.
Bullying from the Victim’s Point of View:
The bullying begins making you physically sick.
The constant stress starts to come out with unexplained illnesses. You suffer splitting headaches and violent bouts of nausea.
You are so distraught that when lunch arrives, you can’t even eat. Your stomach is in knots and your head pounds from the stress of being the outcast of your school. The nausea is intense!
You’re shaky inside. You feel tired and run down all the time now.
Even worse, you pass out from panic attacks, and you can no longer sleep at night. Your weight drops. And the overwhelming stress causes your hair to fall out.
Bullying turns you into someone you no longer recognize.
You feel as if people are torturing you. Because you’re in constant fight-or-flight mode and your mind is in overdrive. Moreover, you don’t know who you are anymore. You’ve become a stranger to yourself.
In essence, you turn against yourself because it seems as if the entire world has turned against you.
‘You see? It’s one thing to have people look down on you. However, it’s another when you allow them to cause you to look down on yourself.
Bullying from the Victim’s point of View:
You blame yourself for being bullied.
You think something must be wrong with you but don’t know what it is.
You’re too afraid to tell your own family what’s happening.
At home, you stare at your family members, wanting so badly to tell them what you’re going through. But you’re much too afraid. If you tell them, how will they respond?
Will they support you or will they judge you? Will they give you advice you know doesn’t work? And will they give you some long lecture? You don’t know, and you’re not willing to take a chance.
Moreover, you’re ashamed. When you’re bullied, you carry a lot of shame. Why? Because you feel weak. Because people bully you, you feel like a wuss!
Bullying from the Victim’s Point of View:
You become jealous of everyone else’s friendships and relationships.
You wonder when the day will finally come when you can be like everyone else. And you fantasize about strolling along easily, enjoying friends, laughing it up, and having the time of your life.
You look around and watch everyone else having fun. You watch as girls flirt with their boyfriends and boys snake an arm around their chosen ladies. And you wonder, “How do they do it?”
You watch as they get to enjoy real friendships. They get invites to birthday parties, slumber parties, camping trips, and dates.
You watch them laugh playfully with each other; you can see the happiness in their eyes. And these are the same eyes that look at you with disgust.
The look of joy all over their faces is enough to make you sick! You want to be happy for them, but you don’t have it in you. Instead, you can’t help but to resent the hell out of their happiness and blessings.
Why? Because these are the blessings that you yearn to have. In fact, you’d give your right arm for them if that’s what it took! Blessings that they seem to take for granted!
You wonder, “Why can’t I have that? Why? I’m important too. Don’t I deserve to have friends?” But God seems to be too busy to answer.
Bullying from the Victim’s point of View:
You burn with resentment because these are the same people who destroyed your chances of having the same things they have.
They have killed every opportunity for you to make friends of your own. And they have squashed your dating opportunities.
Moreover, they have taken all of your accomplishments and good qualities and trampled them underfoot. You soon become bitter and wish to destroy their friendships.
Why? Because they deserve to be taught what that feels like. You want so bad to trade places with them. It seems that your lot in life is to wander this earth alone.
You watch as some of them even say horrible things behind their friends’ backs. But you notice that, strangely, the slighted friend is quick to forgive them.
Therefore, they get to go on being buddies, as if nothing ever happened. But you? If you so much as look the wrong way, they want to tear you to pieces.
But wait! Don’t they already do that? They tear you apart every day and have been for years. And for simply having the gall to exist! They punish you for the sin of being you!
To them, you aren’t even human.
The isolation is soul-crushing
You’ve tried reporting the bullying. And you’ve tried asking for help. But your cries were only ignored. You soon realize that no one will help you.
And why would they? They know not to.
You begin a downward spiral into hopelessness and despair. You have nowhere to turn and no one to turn to. And why not? Your bullies have alienated you from everyone.
It seems that your bullies can’t get enough of seeing you suffer. In fact, they want you dead, but they don’t have the guts to kill you.
They don’t want to go to prison. So, they torment you instead, hoping and praying you will do it for them.
Bullying from the Victim’s Point of View:
You begin thinking that maybe you don’t belong here.
You are desperate for a change. You yearn for relief, but there is no sign of refuge. You want justice, but it seems that it never comes. This is a situation that you can no longer see an end to.
Then you begin to think that maybe death wouldn’t be such a bad thing. At least no one could hurt you again. You start to think of ways to die.
Before long, death becomes an obsession. You believe your life is one big curse. And you want to end that curse. Death seems to be the only escape from an earthly hell that you have been forced to live.
You are worth fighting for. And you are worth living FOR!
Now you must choose. Should you keep living in hell, or should you resign yourself and end it all? I hope you chose the first option.
As long as there is still breath in your body, there’s always hope for a better tomorrow!
I was there once upon a time. But I got mad! I didn’t only get angry at them for driving me into that dark pit of hopelessness. I got pissed at myself for letting them do that to me!
And when I got angry at myself, I started working on changing my attitude. That’s when things began to get better!
My bullies may have brought me down, but they couldn’t keep me there. I didn’t stay down for long. I clawed my way back up!
Bullying from the Victim’s Point of View:
Don’t give up hope!
Therefore, if you’re a victim of bullying, and this describes you now, I want to give you a big hug.
I also want to tell you that things may look bad now, but they won’t always be. You will see the sun again.
Hang on to self-love. Keep your strong sense of self. Please don’t allow your bullies to force you to see yourself through their eyes. Instead, believe in yourself, even when no one else does.
Bullies may turn everyone else against you. Just don’t let them turn you against yourself. No matter what, you’re worth it! And you deserve friendship, love, and happiness just as much as anyone else!
Stand strong, and you will overcome.
This post DESCRIBED bullying from the victim’s point of view so you’ll know that you aren’t alone.
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1. Bullying and Dehumanization: 10 Ways Bullies Dehumanize You
2. Survivors of Bullying: How It Feels to Overcome