Want to know how to avoid toxic people so that you can avoid bullying and ensure your personal safety? Here are all the ways you can blow them off without looking like a heel.
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Avoiding toxic people can be the difference between suffering bullying and protecting yourself from it.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to avoid toxic people so that you can protect yourself from bullies and abusers.
Once you learn all these important tips, you will be better able to avoid nefarious people whose sole missions are to victimize others.
This post is all about how to avoid toxic people so that you can keep yourself safe from them.
How to Avoid Toxic People
Sometimes Distance Can Be a Good Thing
Before we go any further, let’s talk about distance and why it can be the best thing for you.
Dealing with people who criticize you daily can quickly wear you down. And it can break your spirit. Sadly, many people disrespect the same victim repetitively over several years.
If you are that victim, they’ll eventually train you to tolerate it if you aren’t careful. This is why you should safeguard your mind by doing things to maintain a strong sense of self.
If you’re a target and you stay silent, you will continue to put up with it. Therefore, you, in a sense, permit your bullies to keep abusing you.
‘You see? Here’s how abusers and most bystanders see it. What I’m about to tell you comes from personal experience. I’ve heard many perpetrators and witnesses say it out of their own mouths.
“If he puts up with it, then he deserves it!”
No! You don’t deserve it. Ever! You have every right to stand up to abuse because it’s a form of violence. Someone is violating your boundaries, and it’s up to you to protect those boundaries.
This is your life, and no law says you have to take crap from anyone.
How to Avoid Toxic People:
My Grandmother Tolerated a lot of Crap… Until She Had Enough!
My grandmother, God rest her soul, tolerated a truckload of abuse as a young woman in her twenties and thirties. The time she was living in was the fifties and sixties.
During that era, society expected women to stay silent and submit to abuse.
She had a husband with narcissism who violated her boundaries at every turn. He even lorded over the children too.
This beautiful woman dealt with mistreatment from others too. My grandmother was the very definition of class and grace.
She was tall, thin, and gorgeous- the poster lady of feminine beauty, especially during that era. More importantly, she was kind, humble, generous, and smart! Nothing got past my grandmother!
However, people were highly jealous of her, including my grandfather.
It took my grandmother a long time to realize that nothing would change unless she put distance between herself and the toxic people who were trying to break her.
Granddaddy never acknowledged Uma’s virtues and good qualities. Instead, he devalued her. He was jealous of her beauty and her smarts.
She used her intelligence to battle the abuse. As a result, it would enrage him every time she’d trick him. But eventually, she got tired and fed up.
Uma finally got angry with herself for putting up with so much abuse all those years. That’s when she waited until he went to work, then drove into town and filed for a legal separation.
Next, she had all the locks changed. When Granddaddy got home, she handed him the papers. Moreover, she had his bags packed and ready for him, and told him to get out.
How to Avoid Toxic People:
I wish I could’ve seen the look on his face.
My grandfather was stunned. He never expected her to kick him out. For a long time, she hadn’t. Her love for him was that strong.
However, in the end, she had to love herself enough to walk away from the marriage. And she needed to love herself more than she did him.
This took a lot of strength and courage. She was surprised at how much better her life got once she got over the grief from the divorce.
Granddaddy stalked her for a while. Therefore, he would drive by the house and try to keep tabs on her. But she continued to hold firm, and she never took him back.
But that was my grandmother. She was a rock, and it’s how I remember her.
Distance from toxic people is the best thing you can keep.
The point of my story is that, to take your life back, you must put distance between yourself and toxic people. It doesn’t matter if they’re an abusive partner, an authoritarian boss, or abusers at work or school.
Getting rid of them is essential to finding peace of mind. All of the above are bullies and don’t deserve a seat at your table.
How to Avoid Toxic People:
it’s why i don’t go to high school reunions.
It’s why I left Oakley High School. Also, it’s the reason I choose not to go to any future class reunions.
Moreover, I always kept my telephone number unlisted when I lived in Oakley for a little while. As an adult during the late ’90s and early 2000s, I prioritized mine and my children’s safety.
I didn’t want to risk any former bullies looking me up in the directory. Why? Because they would have found not only my number but my street address.
And even today, none of them know where I am. All those people know is that I no longer live in Oakley, and I intend to keep it that way.
Distance is a blessing, and it’s the best weapon against bullies. Moreover, it pays to stay away and ensure they also keep away.
If possible, you should put as much distance between yourself and your bullies as you can. As long as you’re out of their reach and they stay away from you, they can’t bother you.
So, How do you avoid those who wish to harm you?
There are several ways you can avoid running into the wrong people.
How to Avoid Toxic People:
1. Be choosy who you give your phone number to.
Back when I lived in Oakley with my kids, cellphones weren’t as popular. And the internet had more privacy. So, I kept my name out of the directory.
However, today, there are many ways to find someone’s cellphone number, I hate to say. You can keep your number secret by being selective of who you give it to. But let me warn you!
If someone wants your number badly enough, they can search the internet. Sites like whitepages.com and Been Verified have that information on you.
Now, Been Verified is a good site. It helps people find out whether their dates are criminals or their housekeeper is a thief. Therefore, there are good reasons these sites exist.
However, bullies, abusers, and stalkers can use them to find out how to contact you. So, be aware.
2. Delete and block toxic people on social media.
The delete and block buttons are there for a reason. Use them!
If you have a troll who harasses you on social media, you have every right to delete and block them. However, too many people think that they have to have the last word.
Therefore, they’ll sit and argue with a cyberbully to feel like they’re getting their say. This isn’t smart. Why? Because that’s exactly what cyberbullies want.
They want a reaction from you. So, don’t give it to them. I can’t stress this enough. Don’t engage! Starve that troll by hitting that block button!
Just make sure you take screenshots first. You want to have evidence just in case they show up at your door.
How to Avoid Toxic People:
3. Cut Ties with them.
If someone takes the joy out of your life, you don’t have to keep talking to them. People preach inclusivity these days. And it sounds like the noble thing to do.
However, what the inclusivity preachers fail to consider is that some people are harmful. When you refuse to talk to someone because they’re toxic, inclusion doesn’t qualify.
There’s a difference between exclusion and protecting yourself and your loved ones against hurtful people. And I’ll be glad when we start addressing this.
I’ve had others accuse me of excluding someone when I was avoiding them to protect myself. And I didn’t fall for that garbage.
You may cut ties with someone who has repeatedly hurt you. And you should, for your own safety and peace of mind.
However, there will be a few dunces who accuse you of “excluding” them. They will call you a bully because you want nothing to do with the person. Or, because you refuse to chase after them.
And they will deliberately try to blur the lines between inclusivity and self-protection. Don’t let them do that. You have every right to be safe. And if that means disassociating yourself with a few butt-heads, so be it.
How to Avoid Toxic People:
In Conclusion
If you don’t want anyone to harm you and disrupt your peace, avoiding toxic people is crucial. You don’t have to hang with those who don’t see your value.
It’s okay to exclude from your life those who want to harm you. And you have a right to protect yourself from bullies, abusers, and criminals. This is part of having self-respect.
Moreover, you have the right to choose friends who love you and will be there for you. When you know your worth, you’ll do whatever is best for you.
It’s okay to avoid toxic people!
This post is all about how to avoid toxic people so that you can ensure your safety and live in peace.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Know Your Worth As a Woman: 5 Rules to Live by
2. How to Know Your Worth: 9 Tips to Build Your Self-Esteem
3. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well
5. Never Chase People Who Don’t See Your Worth
6. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You
You are so right, I also found that distance was the best way to shed toxic people. I don’t have to think about the town which gave me so much misery, although in 2014, I did go back to the town and donated copies of “He Was Weird” to the public library and junior high school. Nothing came of that.
Oh, my goodness! You actually went back to that town and donated your back? Wow! I’m glad you did that, and no one pushed back. Sometimes, when people know what they did was wrong, they stay quiet. That can be another sign they’re feeling a little dirty.
In reality, it was 40 years after I had moved out of the town, so I probably was forgotten about, which isn’t a bad thing from my view.
I hear you. It’s a good thing they’d forgotten about you. But even if they hadn’t, what could they do with you living across the pond?