Want to know all the psychological bullying tactics bullies use? Here are all the tricks bullies use to rattle you.
Bullies seem to know the slickest psychological bullying tactics to use, don’t they? In this post, you will learn what they are and why they use each one.
Once you learn all about these techniques, you will be able to recognize them when they happen. And you will be able to better defend yourself from them.
This post is all about psychological bullying tactics so that you can better protect yourself from mental abuse.
Psychological Bullying Tactics
Rattling you psychologically is a tactic bullies use to keep you off balance. Why? Because when you’re off your A-game, you don’t fight back as effectively. Here are all the tactics bullies use to keep you off kilter.
1. Barking orders
When bullies order you around, they treat you like you’re a subordinate. They don’t have to be bosses or authority to order you around. So, they do it to claim dominance over you.
Therefore, if a classmate or coworker tries to tell you what to do, you can tell them, “I don’t take orders.” This is how you keep your power.
2. Putting you on the defense
Bullies may make subtle accusations to put you on the defense. And the reason they do this is to make you look “defensive.”
So, what do they have to gain by doing this? Simple! If they can make you defensive, they can make you look guilty of something.
Psychological bullying Tactics:
3. Unsolicited advice
Bullies are good at giving unsolicited advice. However, they despise it when the shoe is on the other foot.
They are always giving you free advice as if you are a child. Some people have a lot of nerve, don’t they?
But here are the reasons they do this. It’s to give their audience the impression that you’re a moron. Moreover, they want others to think that they know more than you.
They don’t advise you to help you. They do it to help themselves look smarter than you. And if you don’t know how to counter it, it can chip away at your self-esteem.
So, what are ways that you can counter a smartass who gives you advice you didn’t ask for? You can tell them, “I don’t need your cheap two cents.” Then, walk away.
4. Asking Gotcha Questions
Not only are politicians notorious for asking gotcha-questions, but bullies are also infamous for it too. What is a gotcha-question, you may ask?
Gotcha-questions are questions that trap you. They put you in a bad light no matter what answer you give and even if you do not answer at all.
These are the types of questions bullies will usually ask you in public just to humiliate you. By asking these types of questions, bullies trap you into looking bad to others.
More on gotcha questions HERE.
Psychological Bullying Tactics:
5. Insulting questions
“Why are you so arrogant, ignorant, etc.?
Understand that these questions aren’t really questions. They’re only accusations made in the form of questions. Bullies are notorious for asking their targets rhetorical questions, which are questions designed to elicit a dramatic effect and to make a point, not to get an answer.
These questions are only insinuations and innuendo. They insinuate your perceived lack of intelligence, sarcastic attitude, or worthlessness.
For comebacks, go HERE.
Always counter them with sarcasm! Bullies hate being made a fool of. So, answering with a good burn will take the wind out of their sails.
6. Nonverbal Bullying
Most seasoned bullies seek to intimidate others by nonverbal means. Why? Because nonverbal bullying is subtle. It’s not as easy for others to see.
This type of bullying can occur either at school or in the workplace. Here are a few such subtleties.
- Dirty looks.’
- Leaning on your desk.
- Standing too close.
Always call the bullies out or give the bully a glare they’ll never forget.
Psychological Bullying Tactics:
7. Outlandish and Unheard of Tactics.
Understand that outrageous tactics are deliberate, and there’s a reason behind them.
Bullies employ these tactics as a kind of preemptive gaslighting. By using tactics that are beyond comprehension, they cause others to have a difficult time believing it if you report it.
However, if something is beyond all comprehension, how can you make it up? So many people in power forget this.
Again, the use of tactics that seem a bit outlandish is a subtle form of gaslighting. These astonishing actions are meant to silence you. Why?
Because when things that happen are so far from anything others have experienced, they’re the most difficult to talk about. Why? Because “these kinds of things just don’t happen.”
8. Gaslighting.
Bullies deny their behavior. Or, they might trivialize it. They may even add their spin to make you look like the villain.
Also, they’ll resort to maligning you to others to destroy your good name and credibility. There are many ways bullies gaslight.
Psychological Bullying Tactics:
9. Guilt-Tripping.
Bullies are masters at guilt-tripping, especially female bullies who use their feminine charm. They will often try to get you to do what they want. And when you refuse, they try to make you feel guilty.
Don’t fall for this. The best way to counter this is to stand behind your decision.
10. Projection.
Bullies have flaws and their greatest fear is having them exposed. What better way to keep their imperfections hidden than to project them onto you?
Projection is when someone accuses you of the same bad deeds they do. It shouldn’t be easy. But it is.
11. Distraction.
“The essence of deception is distraction.” – Robert Greene
The bully uses distraction, often called deflection, when they use your reaction to distract attention away from their abuse.
It is the reason that so many people in authority, bystanders, and witnesses unjustly label targets as bullies.
Bullies are highly skilled at deflecting their misdeeds onto others. Therefore, people will falsely accuse you of “starting it.”
Here’s how the bullies do it:
- shows kindness and integrity in front of everyone else except you.
- baits you.
- Accuses you of the same bad things he’s doing.
Psychological Bullying Tactics:
12. Smear Campaigns.
If bullies can’t control you, they will control how others see you.
They use the above strategies not only to cover their backsides. They also do it to punish you for daring to grow a spine and defend yourself.
Moreover, they smear you to close you off from support. Why? Because, once you’re isolated, chances are slim that anyone will help you.
Now, your bullies can do whatever they want to you. If everyone is against you, who’s going to stop the abuse? In the minds of others, you deserve what’s happening to you.
13. Baiting
Bullies will bait you by doing things to get you to fight. For instance, they may provoke you by knocking over your drink. They may also kick over your purse as they walk by.
Or they may get in your face.
Therefore, know that when bullies toy with you like this, they really want to square off. See it for what it is and call it out.
Psychological Bullying Tactics:
14. Getting others to insult you.
This type of bullying is indirect and extremely cowardly. These types of bullies don’t have the guts to be direct or get their hands dirty.
Therefore, they instigate a conflict between you and someone else. They then stand back, at a safe distance, and watch from afar. And they enjoy watching the other person attack you.
In most cases, the person they pit against you isn’t a bully. They probably have no prior history with you. This person can be a stranger, an acquaintance, friend, teacher, or supervisor.
15. Bringing Up Your Past
If you are a target of bullying, have you ever noticed that bullies always seem to bring up your past? A past mistake? A record of some kind? Maybe a police record of vandalism when you were seventeen?
Or maybe you got drunk at a frat party and did a table dance while stripping down to your underwear. Whatever the faux pas might have been, people sure seem to love throwing it in your face.
However, I want you to realize that they do this for several reasons. They either have nothing to pin on you, or they’re jealous of you.
Psychological Bullying Tactics:
16. Humiliation
Humiliation, unlike embarrassment or shame, leaves a mark on the person who suffers it. And the stigma can follow them for the rest of their lives. Why?
Because people who’ve been publicly humiliated are always remembered for their humiliation. Think Harvey Weinstein and the sex scandals that broke about 10 years ago.
Although ol’ Harvey deserved his humiliation, most victims of bullying don’t. Innocent victims are often humiliated by their bullies for no reason.
They get stuck in an uncomfortable position while others gather around to taunt and abuse them.
Humiliation has been used down through the ages. Tarring and feathering was a technique used in the Old West.
This involved covering people with hot tar and feathers. Then, the townspeople would parade them through the crowded streets on a horse-drawn cart.
Think of Chuck Connors’ character, Jason McCord, in the old western series, “Branded.”
Throughout history, humiliation has been the most common and effective means of punishment. People fear losing face worse than they do a violent death!
17. Moving the Goalposts
Understand that bullies will judge you without provocation. You won’t need to do, wear, or say anything wrong. They will dissect everything until they find something wrong.
For instance, bullies may tell you one day that your hair is too curly. So, you straighten it the next day before going to school. But they find something else to rag you about.
Therefore, you must realize that your bullies will judge you no matter what you do. And any efforts to win their approval will be like pouring water into a sieve.
The best thing to do is to have nothing to do with them. You don’t need their approval.
Psychological bullying Tactics:
In conclusion
All these tactics have one goal: Control.
Let’s do a quick recap of the bullying tactics we just discussed.
- Barking orders.
- Putting you on the defense.
- Unsolicited advice.
- Asking gotcha questions
- Insulting questions.
- Nonverbal bullying.
- Outlandish and unheard of tactics.
- Gaslighting
- Guilt-tripping.
- Projection.
- Distraction.
- Smear Campaigns
- Baiting
- Getting others to insult you.
- Bringing up your past.
- Humiliation.
- Moving the goalposts.
Once you recognize these tactics, you won’t be able to unsee them. Then you can protect yourself from them.
This post was all about psychological bullying tactics, so you’ll recognize them when you see them.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Psychological Abuse Tactics: 9 Mind Games Seasoned Bullies Use
2. Tactics Bullies Use: 6 Things They Do to Throw You Off
3. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For
4. Humiliation Bullying: 5 Examples of It and Why It’s So Devastating


I experienced most of these, Cherie. Kudos for putting them all together for all to see.
You’re very welcome, Michael.