‘Want to know the 3 elements of bullying? Here is a detailed description of each element so that you can not only recognize bullying but also distinguish it from other forms of conflict, such as jerky behavior or petty disagreements.
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For any bad behavior to be classified as bullying, it must include these three elements.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn about each of the 3 elements of bullying in detail, so that you will be able to recognize bullying with accuracy any time you see it. Moreover, you will be able to pinpoint it when it happens to you.
Once you learn about all these components, you will be able to call bullying by name and for what it is. More importantly, if you suspect that you are a victim, you will be more encouraged to stand up for yourself. In that, you’ll have a likely chance of overcoming your bullies.
This post is all about the 3 elements of bullying so that you can distinguish it from other forms of incivility and confidently name it, shame it, and successfully defend yourself against it.
3 Elements of Bullying
Three elements help you determine whether you’re being bullied or having a personality conflict. For an attack to be bullying, it must meet all of the following criteria.
1. Repetition
When there’s repetition, bullies repeat the same abuse. And they do it time and time again. But why do they do this? What’s the point in repeating the same tired bullshit over and over? Here’s why.
To brainwash you.
And if you want to get someone used to something that’s not comfortable, the best way to do that is to repeat it. And then slowly escalate it!
Why? Because over time, it slowly breaks down your defenses until it becomes instilled in your psyche. This is called the boiled frog technique.
So, is it any wonder bullies constantly bombard you with the same rhetoric? They’re trying to change the way you think about yourself completely.
You see? What they’re doing is trying to destroy your self-esteem. And tear down your confidence! If they can undermine those two things, they can force you to see yourself through their distorted lens.
Then, they can take your power. That’s why they spoon-feed you the same boring crap until you believe it too.
3 Elements of Bullying:
To Get others used to seeing you get bullied.
Your bullies replay this broken record to desensitize bystanders. You see? If they can get them used to seeing you get pummeled, they can reduce the chances of them helping you.
And once abuse becomes familiar, it will seem less evil until it soon becomes the status quo. After a while, people will think, “This is just the way things are done around here.”
Therefore, they’ll think nothing of it.
Then, they’ll get comfortable with it. And when they get comfortable with it, they start to believe that bullying you is okay. In fact, they may celebrate it because they see the rewards it brings.
That’s usually when bystanders start joining in. And why not? They’ve been watching your bullies getting rewarded for their behavior. And now they want some of those benefits too.
To make rumors and lies seem more truthful.
Joseph Goebbels once quoted, “Tell a lie once and it remains a lie. But tell a lie a thousand times, and it becomes the truth.”
Therefore, when bullies start a nasty rumor about you, they will repeat it. And they may even get you to believe it if you aren’t careful.
Bullies understand that most people are lazy-minded. It takes an exceptional person to see lies that have stood the test of time.
Seeing through these kinds of falsehoods means recognizing context. Moreover, it means reading subtext. Debunking some lies requires doing a lot of reading and research.
Therefore, most people don’t want to put in that kind of work. And bullies know it, so they take advantage of it.
3 Elements of Bullying:
2. Deliberate harm
The harm bullies cause their victims is deliberate. Realize that the very goal of your bullies is to harm you, and do it badly enough to ruin your life.
However, they take small nibbles at first.
As I’ve mentioned in several earlier posts, bullying always starts subtly. Bullies repeat the same attacks to get you used to them. But what they’re really doing is softening you up for bigger attacks later.
Physical harm
Physical bullies like to inflict physical harm. However, they rarely start by beating the crap out of you. Instead, they take tiny jabs at first. In other words, they begin with “gateway behaviors.”
For instance, they may get in your face. Or, they may give you a tiny poke in the chest. They might even “accidentally” trip you. Maybe they run into you in the hall.
“Oops! Sorry about that.”
psychological harm
Psychological harm may start with body language. Bullies may give you a death glare to intimidate you. They may also roll their eyes or give you the side-eye.
Or, they may point at you. Bullies may also make jokes at your expense or give you backhanded compliments.
Moreover, they may look you up and down. Understand that these behaviors provide an entry point to severe psychological abuse.
Why? Because they’re hard to detect. And they’re easy for others to dismiss as joking. If you say anything, they’ll say that you’re “reading too much into it.”
3 Elements of Bullying:
Reputational Harm
Reputational bullying starts with non-verbal behaviors like eye-rolling or sighing. Bullies do this to express contempt when you walk into the room.
Or they may do the opposite. They may cozy up to you. Bullies may start by pretending to be your friends to get you to tell them your deepest secrets. Then, they’ll use them against you later.
3. Power imbalance
In other words, the bullies’ power always outmatches yours. Or, they may think that you are weaker. Therefore, they want to convince you of it too.
Power you don’t think you have is power you don’t have. Therefore, the brainwashing that we discussed earlier is just another way to reduce your power.
physical power
This applies mostly to bullies in school. However, it can go this way with adults too. Bullies with more physical power may resort to physical bullying. However, they rarely start that way.
Size
For instance, you have a bigger school bully picking on you because you’re a little guy. Naturally, this intimidates you because no one wants to get beaten up. Therefore, he uses his size to bully you.
3 Elements of Bullying:
Strength
For instance, a male bully may target a female victim. He may stand too close. He may tower over her. Moreover, he may progress to shoving, then to hitting, and the escalation continues.
He is clearly using physical strength to bully her.
numbers
As the old saying goes, “there’s strength in numbers.” Never underestimate the power of evil people in large groups. Bullies rarely bully alone.
They always run in packs. There’s nothing more intimidating than being bullied by 3, 5, or 10 people at once. Bullies know this. Therefore, groups use their numbers to bully you. Why? Because what can one person do against a large group?
social power
Social power is, perhaps, the best power there is. It trumps physical power or intellectual power any day of the week. So, what is social power?
It is the ability to influence others. It’s also the ability to attract people, make them like you, and make them want to do what you want.
Social Capital
Social capital is the number of connections you have, especially with people in positions of power. Most bullies have these kinds of relationships. And that’s why they feel so entitled to bully.
3 Elements of Bullying:
Power of influence
Also, most bullies can influence others to do their bidding. That’s why they have followers who do their dirty work for them.
intellectual power
Some bullies have intellect; others don’t. However, smarts do give you power.
Social intelligence
The most seasoned bullies have superior social intelligence. And they will weaponize it to the fullest extent. Why do you think they’re so good at manipulating social hierarchies?
And why do you think they have the power to tell people who they can and can’t talk to? But realize that you don’t have to give them that power.
financial power
Bullies usually yield financial power in abusive relationships. However, they can also use their class position to bully those who make less income than they do.
For instance, an abusive husband may withhold financial resources from the wife to keep her dependent on his approval. It’s a form of coercive control. And it’s called financial abuse.
Moreover, bullies in higher financial status use that to bully those in lower income brackets.
3 Elements of Bullying
In Conclusion
Let’s recap. The 3 elements of bullying are:
- Repetition
- Deliberate Harm
- Power Imbalance
Know that if you stand up to the bullies, you minimize their power. Moreover, you break the repetition and stop the deliberate harm they try to do.
Standing up to bullies isn’t a one-shot deal. It is consistent. Why? Because bullies are relentless. It usually gets worse before it gets better.
However, if you stand strong and stay consistent, they will eventually decide that you aren’t worth the hassle. And they will give up.
However, you can’t stand up to bullying until you know what it is and how to tell the difference between that and uncivil behavior.
This Post is all about the 3 elements of bullying so that you will easily distinguish bullying from conflict.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Definition of Bullying: Is the Person a Bully or just an Asshole?
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