Want to know why it’s better to be hated than pitied? Here, you will find out why you should welcome your bullies’ hatred but reject others’ pity.
Photos by David Stanciu’s Images and ivosevicv from Getty Images Signature
It really is better to be hated than pitied. Targets catch hate, but victims get pity. Therefore, in this post, you will learn why hate is better than pity.
Once you learn this powerful life lesson, you won’t take it so personally when others hate you.
This post is all about why it’s better to be hated than pitied so that you can find the silver lining when bullies direct their hatred toward you.
Better to Be Hated Than Pitied
Not all targets want your pity. However, some victims actually want others to feel sorry for them. And some are infected with self-pity. But why?
Some people want pity because it makes them feel cared for. Some victims of bullying mistakenly think that if they can get people to feel sorry for them, they can, at least, avoid their hostility.
In other words, they think that pity will keep bullies from bullying them.
However, this usually backfires in the long run. Those who pity you may put off their cruelty for the moment, but it always comes back later.
And they don’t realize that, by begging for pity, they only make themselves look more inferior. Here are all the reasons pity is worse than hate.
Now, many confuse pity with compassion. But it’s different.
Compassion is feeling genuinely sorry that another person is suffering. Moreover, it’s offering to be there for them and provide anything they need during their dark time.
Pity, on the other hand, is condescending. It doesn’t offer help to someone who’s suffering. It’s looking down on them and feeling superior.
1. Those who hate you know that you’re powerful. Those who pity you think you’re powerless.
Ever since the dawn of time, people have always hated the powerful. And the reason is that they feel inferior to them.
No one likes to feel inferior. Therefore, they will despise anyone who makes them feel that way. It doesn’t matter whether the stronger person means to or not.
Better To Be Hated Than Pitied:
2. Hate comes from a place of equality. Pity comes from a place of superiority.
When people hate you, they consider you to be a formidable enemy. And they do it whether they know it or not. Put another way, they see you as an equal.
On the other hand, when they pity you, they place themselves above you. They look down on you from their high place.
And they’re just damn glad they aren’t in your shoes. In fact, they’re thanking the heavens above that they’re not you!
This is how bystanders feel when they see you getting bullied to death. And it’s why they won’t help you. All they can think is, “Damn, I’m glad I’m not the one taking shit from people every day!”
‘You see? Schadenfreude is real. And others get a tiny amount of joy watching you suffer. Why? Again, seeing you suffer makes them feel like they’re better off.
I want you to know with every fiber of your being that you’re inferior to no one! You have more power than you know. Therefore, you can change your situation. You just need to believe you can.
Better to Be Hated Than Pitied:
3. targets attract hate, victims attract pity.
Are you a target or a victim? Believe it or not, being a victim has a lot to do with mindset. And words have enormous power.
If you think you’re a target, you’re right. However, if you think you’re a victim, you’re also right. Victims surrender, but targets keep fighting.
When you see yourself as a target and refuse to become a victim, you refuse to allow others to take control over your life.
Therefore, you keep fighting. You stand up for yourself. You may get knocked down, but you don’t stay down. Therefore, you always get back up again.
And most people will hate you for that. Bullies will hate you because they can’t control you. But if you’re a victim, others will continue to walk on you because they’ll feel superior.
Words have enormous power. Therefore, stop seeing yourself as a victim. Instead, look at yourself as a target. Why?
Because being a target is much more empowering than being a victim.
4. When others hate you, It means you’re a threat. When others pity you, It means you’re helpless.
Others pity you because they think you’re powerless. As far as they’re concerned, there’s nothing you can do to better your situation. And when you’re helpless, you’re least likely to try.
Helplessness means that, no matter how hard you try, your situation will remain the same. So, you’ll see no point in putting in the effort to bring about change.
People pity you because you’re at the mercy of someone else. In other words, someone else has to rescue you.
However, when others hate you, it’s because you challenge them. You can stand on your own two feet. And, more importantly, you won’t let others walk over you.
Therefore, you will get a truckload of hate from people who can’t control you or compete with you.
Better to Be Hated Than Pitied:
5. Hatred makes you want to fight back. Pity makes you want to give up.
Winners never quit, and losers never win. That’s because losers give up too easily. They quit any time the waters get rough.
But smooth waters don’t make strong sailors. Enduring hatred isn’t easy. However, their hate can motivate you if you let it.
And it does with many. Hate can light a fire under your ass. It can push you to succeed and become a better version of yourself.
Catching hate from others has driven many to exceptionalism! Therefore, let their meanness make you better, not bitter.
6. With Hatred comes a degree of respect, even if it’s a small one. With Pity comes disrespect.
When others hate you, it can be frightening. Don’t get me wrong. However, when you’re hated, you still have dignity. But when you’re pitied, you have none whatsoever!
People pity you when you don’t stand up for yourself. When you capitulate, no one respects you. However, when you don’t give in to fear, people will hate you.
But again, they’ll only do it because they can’t control you. Others may attack you regularly, but you refuse to back down. You stand up for yourself no matter what it costs you.
Again, this attracts a boatload of hatred from those who wish to control you.
Better to Be Hated Than Pitied:
7. Hatred means you’re strong. Pity means you’re weak.
Realize that your bullies’ goal is to control you. And if you see yourself as a victim, you weaken yourself. Thus, you play right into their hands.
When people hate you, it’s usually because you are defiant. You’re nobody’s bitch, and they know it. Remember that bullies are cowards.
They want easy victims, not warriors who will bury them where they fall. And if they can’t subdue you, they will hate the very day you were born.
8. Hatred can be a compliment. Pity, on the other hand, is an insult.
Most people will hate you for your strengths, not your weaknesses. Why? Because it is your strengths that threaten them. But your weaknesses are conveniences to them.
Therefore, consider their hatred as a compliment. Why? Because it is.
On the other hand, pity is an insult. Why? As I mentioned earlier in this post, pity comes from a sense of superiority. When others pity you, they look down on you.
They like the feeling of being better off than someone else. In short, they get an ego boost from your suffering.
So, don’t accept pity from anyone.
Better to be Hated Than Pitied:
9. Hatred comes from Humility. pity comes from Ego.
Those who hate you have a degree of humility. Why? Because hate usually comes from competition, jealousy, and a sense of inferiority. I’ve found that most people hate you because they’re not you.
But those who pity you would never want to be you. They know they’re better off than you. Therefore, they feel superior to you. When someone pities you, you can bet they do it because they have a puffed-up ego.
In Conclusion
Receiving hate is difficult, don’t get me wrong. But getting pity is downright gross! The strong are hated. But the weak are pitied. Now you know why I always advise you not to hate your bullies.
Others may hate you for several reasons. Maybe you see through them, and they know it. They hate you because you see them for the cowards they are.
You know that they’re full of shit. And they know that you know it. People despise anyone who can see through their facades. So, they unleash their hatred onto you to cover their ass.
Those who want to control your life will hate you because you won’t take any crap from them. You won’t let them manipulate you.
However, those who pity you think that you’re weak. They think they’re better than you. Therefore, they look down from their Ivory Tower and thank the Lord above that they aren’t walking in your shoes.
And they consider themselves damn lucky not to be you. Hate brings a degree of dignity. Pity only brings disgrace.
So, let them hate you. And love yourself despite it.
This post is all about the reasons it’s better to be hated than pity so that you won’t mistake pity for care.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Don’t Hate Your Bullies, Feel Sorry for Them
2. Wallowing in Self-Pity: 7 Good Reasons to Stop Doing It