If you’re a parent, do you want to know the 7 things to do if your child is bullied at school? Here are all the steps you need to know.
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Nothing breaks your heart like finding out that your child’s classmates are tormenting them. Most parents are at a loss when it comes to the proper channels to go through to protect their children from school bullies.
In this post, you will learn 7 things to do if your child is bullied at school.
Once you learn all these vital steps, it will better equip you with the knowledge to protect your child and save their mental health. And you will be the hero they already know you are.
In this post, you will learn 7 things to do if your child is bullied at school to protect not only their physical well-being but also their self-esteem.
7 Things to Do If Your Child is Bullied at school
If you’re a parent and you suspect that your child’s classmates are bullying them at school, the first thing you should do is know the signs. Here are all the warning signs to look out for.
1. Know the Signs.
Marks on the body.
The most common warning sign is that your child comes home with bruises and scrapes on their physical body. Your child may also come home with torn clothing.
If they wear eyeglasses, the eyewear may be broken. Or their notebook may be torn. Physical bullies won’t only beat your kid up. They will also break their belongings.
Bullies may snap their pencils in two or tear up their notebooks. They may also rip their shirt or a nice dress. Another thing physical bullies do is steal from your child.
Therefore, if you notice any marks, torn clothes, or missing items, don’t ignore them. Get your son or daughter to talk. Find out what happened.
Falling Grades.
If your child is normally an A student and their grades suddenly start to plummet, it’s time to be alert. Bullying puts an enormous amount of stress on a child.
In fact, it throws them into survival mode. Who can concentrate on schoolwork when they’re too busy looking over their shoulder?
You see? When the survival brain turns on, the learning brain shuts down. Assignments will become harder to complete. Bullying also affects memory. Therefore, your child won’t know the material when test time arrives.
If there’s a sudden change in your child’s grades. Do some detective work. Talk to them and find out if kids at school are bullying them.
7 Things to Do If Your Child is Bullied at School:
Sudden changes in Mood and Behavior.
If your child is normally happy and bubbly, and they suddenly begin coming home depressed, this should concern you. Therefore, lovingly ask your child what’s going on at school.
And listen to them if they tell you. Here’s something to note. Smaller children are more expressive. Therefore, it will be easier to get them to open up.
Tweens and teens, on the other hand, don’t confide in you so easily.
Avoiding School.
Most bullied kids dread going to school. They may skip class. Or they may fake being sick to avoid going.
Most targets are afraid of going to school because they know that bullies will be waiting for them as soon as they arrive. They may be watching for them when they step onto the bus.
If excessive absences become a pattern, you must get them to talk.
Withdrawing from Family and Friends.
Being the target of bullying can slowly chip away at a child’s self-esteem. And those with low self-esteem tend to withdraw.
It is a defense mechanism to protect oneself against further attacks. After being victimized for so long, targets begin to think that all people are vicious and cannot be trusted.
Therefore, they put up their guard and close themselves off. As a result, they miss out on opportunities for family closeness, friendships, or romantic relationships.
It could be that they don’t want to bother others with their problems and prefer to handle them on their own. Still, lovingly ask questions and be prepared to listen attentively if they open up.
7 Things to Do If Your Child is Bullied at School:
UNDERACHIEVEMENT.
Most targets are underachievers. Their self-esteem has been so badly beaten that they no longer believe in themselves. This can cause a condition known as “Learned Helplessness.”
After being told for so long that they are “no good” and “can’t do anything right,” they tend to believe it themselves. So, they stop trying.
This can hurt grades, class participation, and performance.
Also, they must focus all their mental energy on avoiding bullies and staying safe instead of on lessons. This is another reason their grades plummet.
OVERACHIEVEMENT.
Although bullying can lead to underachievement, it can go the other way as well. Some victims dive into work projects or schoolwork to take their minds off the bullying.
They also achieve exceptional grades and class performance to compensate for their low social status among their peers. They feel they are socially inept somehow.
Therefore, these kids try to make up for it by excelling in their work, studies, talents, or other areas.
This is not a bad thing. It’s actually a healthier way to handle bullying. However, it’s still a sign of it. So, be aware.
7 Things to Do If Your Child is Bullied at School:
Lack of Friends.
Most bullying victims have few or no friends. Having no friends leaves you vulnerable. Therefore, Bullies love to target kids no one wants to be friends with. Or they may target new transfers who aren’t yet socially established.
When you have friends, you have a support system. And bullies won’t mess with you because you have people who’ll likely stand up for you.
Therefore, they’ll likely go find a target who isn’t as protected.
They bully other kids.
Often, bullied victims feel helpless. They feel that they have absolutely no control over anything. So they may become bullies to feel some sense of power and control over something- anything.
These kids are called bully-victims. Why? Because they bully others who are even more powerless than they are. But why?
They do it to feel better about themselves. Moreover, they bully to stay off the bottom of the social hierarchy. As the old saying goes, “Shit rolls downhill and lands at the bottom.”
And what lands at the bottom usually stays there.
An example of this would be: A child gets yelled at by parents, then goes outside and kicks the dog. It’s the same with most bully targets. And as much as I hate to admit it, I was guilty of the same thing in school.
7 Things to Do If Your Child is Bullied at School:
Sadness and Depression.
Symptoms of depression are crying, withdrawal, loss of interest in activities one normally enjoys, and fatigue. If your child shows signs of depression when coming home from school, get to the bottom of it.
Suicidal Thoughts and Attempts.
Sadly, suicides resulting from bullying are at an all-time high! Most people who are bullied are powerless to stop it.
They’ve tried reporting it to school staff, only to be ignored. Or they may have tried to handle it themselves but gotten in trouble with the school.
Targets often feel alone. They think they have no one in their corner. And they may wonder if something is wrong with them.
They may feel as if it is their fault and that somehow, they deserve it.
And some victims break under pressure and conclude that suicide is the only way to make it stop. If you even think that your loved one might be suicidal, get help now!
2. Contact the school.
If your child is being bullied, let the school know. Talk to the teacher, then the principal. If they do nothing, take it to the school board.
7 Things to Do If Your Child is Bullied at School:
3. Save any email exchanges.
After you’ve contacted the school, save every email exchange on three to five separate flash drives. Then store each in a different location.
The reason you save emails is to create a paper trail. Moreover, you make three to five copies and store them separately to reduce the chance of evidence going missing.
Why? In a few isolated cases, people have broken into the victim’s home, found their evidence, and stolen it. When it comes to bullying, you never know what kind of people you deal with. Therefore, be smart.
Make copies and store each of them in separate places – places a burglar will least likely look.
4. Document.
When your child is bullied in school, it’s important to have documentation. Have your child write down what happened and who the bullies were.
Also, have them write down the names of the people who saw it, the exact date and time, and where the bullying happened.
If the teachers didn’t do anything about the bullying and blamed your child, have them write that down too.
And if your child knows why it happened, have them record that as well.
7 Things to Do If Your Child is Bullied at School:
5. Be there for them.
Bullied kids need a support system! Be that support system! Be there for them! If you see any of these signs in a loved one, don’t ignore or minimize them! Ask questions!!!
Try to get them to open up. It won’t be easy. Most kids are ashamed to admit being bullied. However, if you want to help them, you have to address it gently and lovingly.
6. Record.
You can hide a digital recorder in their backpack, or they can wear a hidden body camera. This will give them solid evidence of bullying if you have to take it to court.
And you can also use it if you need to take the matter before the school board. However, know your state’s laws before recording. Why? Because recordings are illegal in some jurisdictions.
7. Consult an attorney.
Many attorneys practice anti-bullying law. In fact, a few specialize in it. Therefore, if the bullying is out of control and the school refuses to help, it might be time to consult a lawyer.
7 Things to Do If Your Child is Bullied at School:
Bonus Answers
8. Transfer your child to another school.
In extreme cases, the bullying is out of control because it’s already ingrained in your child’s classmates. Once it reaches this level, the bullying is impossible to stop, no matter what you do.
Your child’s safety is of the utmost importance. Therefore, transfer your child to a new school, where they can get a fresh start with a clean slate.
And if you can’t afford to move your child, the School Choice Program offers vouchers you can use to enroll them in a safer school.
9. Home school.
Homeschooling is another option you can use. I realize that many people believe that homeschooling your child will hinder them socially. However, I don’t believe it will do that.
In fact, learning at home, where your child is safe, will only help them. Moreover, they can work at their own pace. And you, as the parent, have more control over what they learn.
So, it’s a win-win here.
In Conclusion
Victims often stay silent about the torment they face at school. This is due to shame and embarrassment. Also, Most family members and friends are not even aware that there is a problem.
Those who do know about it are often at a loss as to how to help them. Here’s a quick recap of what to do if your child is bullied.
- Know the signs.
- Contact the school.
- Save any email exchanges between you and your child’s school.
- Document the bullying.
- Be there for your child.
- Record the bullying.
- Consult an attorney.
- Transfer your child to another school.
- Homeschool your child.
This post gave you 7 things to do if your child is bullied at school, plus two bonus answers so that you can ensure their safety and get them out of a toxic learning environment.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids!
2. When Victims of Bullying Change Schools: 12 Things to Expect
3. Bullying and School Performance: 3 Ways Bullying Affects Grades
4. Teacher Bullying: When Teachers Join In
5. Self-Esteem in Children: 3 Powerful Ways to Build a Child’s Self-Esteem