Would you like to know the 40 characteristics of bullies? You will find them all here.
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Bullies have characteristics that give them away. And if you watch closely, you can pick them out of a crowd before even talking to them.
In this post, you’ll learn the 40 characteristics of bullies so that you can spot them before they spot you.
Once you learn all these traits, you will be able to cluster them more efficiently and protect yourself before they have a chance to bully you.
This post is all about the 40 characteristics of bullies so that you can spot them and protect yourself.
40 Characteristics of Bullies
Bullies have many traits if you know what to look for. And knowing what they are can give you an advantage.
You can cluster them together and tell whether you’re looking at a bully. More importantly, you can avoid bullies before they get the chance to target you.
Here are all the traits.
1. They crave power.
Bullies have a need to dominate others. Therefore, they may boss people around. They may also try subtle insults to see how you react. Don’t ignore these things because they’re huge red flags.
2. Searching for Flaws.
Bullies may not have anything on you. However, they will hunt for anything, no matter how tiny the flaw. Then, when they find it, they will make a big deal of it.
Understand that bullies are always on the prowl for victims. To select targets, they need vulnerabilities they can exploit. And if they can’t find anything, they’ll invent something. So, expect them to go over you with a fine-toothed comb.
If you pay attention, you’ll notice them watching you closely but from afar. You’ll also notice the unfriendly expressions on their faces. They might even look at each other and point in your direction.
Therefore, be alert.
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3. Exploiting Vulnerabilities.
They will scan every word that comes out of your mouth for the slightest hint of sarcasm. Moreover, they may even watch for stupidity or slowness.
Understand that they’re looking for anything they can take offense to. They also search for things to pick apart and twist and use against you.
Bullies will look you up and down. They search your face for the slightest blemish.
They also scan your attire for the slightest stain or tear. They’ll also see if you’re wearing old hand-me-downs or the latest fashions.
Your mood, your moves, your voice, everything about you will be under scrutiny. And they wait with bated breath for anything they can use against you. Bullies may also have an ear cocked for any damaging information about you.
But, look at it this way:
If bullies have to search for imperfections, you’re not the issue. They are.
4. Barking orders.
When bullies order you around, they deny your equality and autonomy. Instead of respectfully asking for what they want, they make demands as if you’re their subordinate.
Proverbially, this is how bullies claim ownership of you. They don’t have to be bosses or authority figures to order you around.
40 Characteristics of Bullies:
Here are some examples of orders and what you can say to counter them:
Bully: “Get (your ass) in here!”
You: “Screw you!”
Bully: “Come back here now!”
You: “Forget you!”
Bully: “Pick that up!”
You: “Up yours!”
Understand that no one has the right to give you orders other than your boss, teachers, or parents. And if a classmate or coworker steps over that line, it’s as simple as saying, “I don’t take orders.”
5. Bring up your past.
Have you ever noticed that bullies always seem to bring up your past? A past mistake? Maybe they mention a police record of vandalism when you were seventeen.
During college, you may have gotten shit-face drunk at a frat party. And you performed a table dance while stripping down to your underwear.
Whatever the faux pas might have been, bullies love throwing it in your face.
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6. Putting you down to feel better about themselves.
Instead of putting in the work to improve, they tear you down to look bigger and better. Bullies never build up; they tear down. They do not create or restore, they destroy. And they don’t add to anything, only subtract from it.
Understand that bullies are losers, and they cannot survive in a meritocracy. They have no redeeming qualities. So, they use the only power they have left.
Their last resort is to make a last-ditch effort to preserve their fragile egos.
They select a target and say something mean and hurtful. If that person is you, you’re naturally shocked at first, and you feel off balance.
Next, the shock wears off, and you begin feeling the pain in your heart.
It’ll be hard at first. But make a conscious effort not to value a bully’s opinions. Understand that you have no control over other people’s actions, behaviors, or opinions.
If they have a problem with you, it’s their problem, not yours.
7. Acting Superior and entitled.
Bullies will act superior and entitled. And they signal superiority by looking down on you. However, they do this to bring you down and make themselves feel more powerful. And a sense of entitlement comes with it.
Many of them act this way to conceal their own jealousy and insecurity. And sadly, it works because too many bullying victims give too much value to bullies’ opinions.
You owe it to yourself to learn and see what’s behind the mask of superiority. Open your eyes and see through the facades they put up.
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8. Gaslighting.
Bullies are notorious for gaslighting. So, what do bullies do when they gaslight you? And what is the definition of gaslight?
Gaslight- to psychologically manipulate someone into doubting their own perception of reality.
Put simply, when you call out their abuse, bullies will take offense to your response to their behavior. And they will make the following statements:
- “That didn’t happen.”
- “You brought it all on yourself.”
- “You’re too sensitive.”
Don’t believe it! See this for what it is. Your bullies know they’re busted. So, they’re trying to turn it back on you and make you look unstable.
9. Refusing to acknowledge your boundaries.
Bullies will violate your boundaries. They won’t take no for an answer. When you tell them to stop, they just keep going. Moreover, they invade your personal space.
This is a classic sign of bullies. Therefore, when you see them do it to someone else, they’ll do the same to you sooner or later.
10. Leaving you emotionally exhausted after You encounter them.
Bullies are negative people. They seem to take the oxygen out of every room they walk into. And they zap your energy because they like to ride roughshod over someone.
Therefore, when you see them doing this to someone, keep your eyes peeled. And avoid them like the plague.
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11. Laying Guilt Trips.
Bullies will pile on the guilt trips when you don’t give them what they want. And if you “dare” to stand up to them, they’ll become offended and angry. Then, they will try to make you believe you are the bad guy.
They may accuse you of being selfish, stingy, and so on. Whatever they lay on you, they make you feel rotten.
Bullies may also try to make you feel obligated. They may refer to something they did for you and imply that you owe them.
For example, a partner asks a girl for sex. She tells them she’s not ready to take that step yet. And the partner says, “I just took you out to a five-course dinner and treated you to a great movie…” Blah-b-blah.
They’re trying to get you to do something you don’t want to do by making you feel like a heel. Don’t fall for it.
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12. They Never apologize for their abuse.
This is another classic trait of bullies. When you call them out on their behavior, they don’t apologize. Instead, they only double down.
Therefore, when you see them do this to someone else, you probably have a bully in your midst.
13. They get offended easily.
Bullies get overly defensive. In fact, they don’t mind dishing it out. But when you bite back, they get butt-hurt. In fact, they can be the biggest crybabies in the world.
The house cats always want a piece of the barn cat… until they get a piece of the barn cat.
So, don’t let their “offense” shake you.
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14. Rattling You.
Before getting violent, bullies will often try to rattle you. It’s how they mess with your mind. For example, if you’re a kid being bullied at school, here’s what your bullies might do.
- Deliberately knock over your drink and spill it
- Pluck a piece of food from your plate and pop it into their mouth at lunch.
- Kick your books, backpack, or purse with their foot
- Fling your hair back
- Flick your nose with one finger
- Give you a non-friendly slap on the back
- Shoulder-check you as they walk past you in the hall or parking lot
- Knock your hat or cap off.
Workplace bullies may also knock your files off your desk. This doesn’t happen often, but it isn’t unheard of.
Understand that bullies use these tactics to provoke a reaction. They may even be looking for a fight. Why else would they invade your space or territory?
15. They Get Jealous easily.
Bullies are highly competitive. They like to be on top and stay there. Therefore, they despise competition.
Bullies can’t handle being outdone by anyone. But that does double if it’s someone they deem inferior.
For example, you’re a target of bullying, and you make all A’s. Maybe you win an award. Your bullies will become angry and bully you worse.
They might make the following statements:
- “You think you’re so smart!”
- “You think you’re better than us!”
Make no mistake. Those kinds of accusations scream jealousy.
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16. They give backhanded compliments.
In other words, they hide their insults under the veil of praise. Let’s say you make a big accomplishment.
Bullies might say, “You did better than I expected,” or “I never thought you’d be smart enough to pull that off.”
17. Delivering digs and zingers.
In other words, they make subtle wisecracks and insults. This kind of bullying is one of the most cowardly forms. Why? Because it’s passive-aggressive.
When these types of bullies insult you, they’re slick about it. These types of bullies don’t have the guts to make a direct attack. So, they say stuff to catch you off guard.
They taunt you in such a way that you may have difficulty figuring out who it’s aimed at. In fact, you won’t even know it’s directed at you until it’s too late for you to deliver a good comeback.
Why? Because the bully may not necessarily address it to you. Instead, they’ll tell it to everyone else around you… right in front of you. However, they’ll do it in a way that leaves you in doubt. You will question yourself.
But the bystanders nearby will immediately know who the covert nastiness is meant for. Passive-aggressive attacks include sarcasm, zingers, digs, and sneak dissing.
18. Sneak Dissing.
This is the new name for digs and zingers. Again, it’s the kind of attack where the bully talks about you without naming you.
And they usually do it where you can hear. But, at the same time, they hope it flies right over your head or that you won’t have the guts to clap back. The reason bullies do this is to avoid a direct conflict with you.
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19. Intimidation tactics.
Bullying feeds on fear. Therefore, bullies will try to scare you into submission. For instance, they may get in your face like they’re going to attack you. Or they may tell you they’re going to kick your butt if you don’t do xyz.
They may tower over you from behind. But whatever they do, they use scare tactics to get you to exert control over you. And they usually do it through their body language.
20. Innuendos.
Innuendo is an insinuation that people use to threaten or insult you and still have plausible deniability. Most bullies like to use the indirect approach just in case you have the balls to confront them.
Then they can claim that “it was just a joke” or that they “didn’t mean it that way. Examples of innuendo include backhanded compliments. For example, “Wow! You actually finished that in time!”
They also question your competence (“Do you need help with that? It seems you’re having difficulty.”)
21. Ambiguous statements.
For example, bullies may exclude you from something. But when you ask about it, they may claim, “I thought you knew about it. I told everyone else.”
Or, if everyone is talking about you behind your back, one of them may come to you and say, “I just want to let you know that what everyone is saying, I think it’s unfair.”
But understand that by saying this, the bully is spreading gossip but pretending to be a friend.
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22. Shifting Blame.
Bullies will abuse you, then blame you for their behavior if you speak up. For instance, they may tell you, “You brought it on yourself.”
Or, they might tell you, “If you hadn’t said so-and-so, he wouldn’t have slapped you.” Whatever the situation, they’re trying to justify the behavior by making it look like you provoked it.
“Nobody bullied you; they were just reacting to something you did.”
23. Talking behind your back.
Bullies are cowards. And many only pretend to be your friends. Most of them won’t tell you to your face what they think of you. They’ll smile and give you a pat on the back.
However, once you walk away, they’ll begin talking badly about you behind your back.
24. Death Glares.
These bullies let their eyes do the talking for them. They’ll stand across the room from you and give you dirty looks. But this is a cowardly way of getting their point across.
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25. stalking you.
Many bullies will follow you around or drive by your house. They might even “accidentally” run into you at the supermarket. They don’t get close enough to be obvious.
However, they’re just close enough to observe you and the people you associate with. Bullies stalk you to gather information they can use against you later.
26. Watching you Closely.
Some bullies don’t stalk. They just watch you like a hawk. They do this for the same reasons mentioned in number twenty-five. To gather information they can weaponize later.
27. Invading your privacy.
Privacy is a shield. It is also a form of power. By having a life your bullies don’t know about, you have a fortress they can’t penetrate.
Therefore, they invade your privacy in an attempt to tear down that wall of protection. For example, they may plunder through your belongings. Or they may peek in your bathroom window and watch you bathe.
However, they do it, they don’t do it out of concern. It’s to gather information they can use to embarrass you.
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28. Daring You.
For example, a bully may stand with feet apart and arms wide, forming a T-stance. By doing this, the bully is telling you to “Bring it” or “Come on, I dare you.”
29. Deliberate sudden movements.
For instance, the bully may back away from you and act like he is going to punch you, then stop himself and laugh.
They may also lunge at you, then stop themselves. These tactics are the favorite of bullies. Understand that bullies make these deliberate moves to cause you to flinch.
They then stand back and laugh. Then, they claim that this normal reaction is proof that you’re scared of them and don’t have the guts to fight them back.
30. Mock physical attacks.
For example, bullies may begin dancing around the room and shadowboxing. By doing this, the bully is clearly showing what he wants to do to you.
Understand that when bullies toy with you, they really want to square off. See it for what it is and call it out as it is.
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31. Gotcha Questions.
Not only are politicians notorious for asking gotcha questions, but so are bullies. What is a gotcha-question, you may ask?
Gotcha questions are those that put you in a bad light, no matter how you respond. They can do damage even if you don’t respond to them at all.
Therefore, these are the types of questions bullies will ask you in public, just to humiliate you. In fact, these kinds are best asked in front of an audience.
Gotcha questions are forms of entrapment. Why? Because bullies use them to trap you into looking bad to others.
Here are a few examples of gotcha questions:
- “Tabitha, did you ever get help for your alcoholism?”
By asking this, the bully is accusing Tabitha of having alcoholism without directly doing so. It’s a slick way for them to attack her.
A yes means that Tabitha was “a drunk” in the past. A no implies that Tabitha is still drinking. And that’s what people will think.
Furthermore, if she responds by saying, “I’ve never had a drinking problem,” it would sound like a cover-up. Why? Because others would wonder why anyone would ask such a question if they weren’t privy to such private information.
It implies that the one asking knows information that hasn’t been available to anyone else.
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32. Selective outrage.
Selective outrage is a form of psychological and behavioral control. It is biased anger. Also, it is hypocrisy. Why? Because it holds a select few to a double standard.
In other words, those in power use it to praise one person or group and punish another for the same behavior. The behavior doesn’t matter; it’s who’s doing it.
33. Impulsive behavior.
Bullies tend to act without thinking. Why? Because they’re easily triggered. In this case, the aggression isn’t planned. They overreact to perceived slights.
And, when they do, they show a complete lack of emotional control.
For example, bullies may explode in angry outbursts. Or they may physically attack someone without considering the consequences.
34. Low tolerance of frustration.
Bullies don’t handle disappointments well. When they get frustrated, they tend to take it out on you. They blame you for any inconvenience they face. And it was probably something you had no control over.
And they will often attack you for it. They react with disproportionate anger because they view minor obstacles as personal attacks.
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35. Ignores Rules.
Bullies think they’re superior. Therefore, they believe that rules don’t apply to them. “Rules for thee but not for me.”
36. STIRRING conflict instead of resolving it.
Bullies don’t solve problems; they create them. Many of them use drama to control social orders. And they do it even if they have to manufacture the issues.
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37. Uses charm to deceive others.
Bullies use deceptive charm to impress teachers and supervisors. They’re convincing liars. Moreover, they’re experts at kissing ass. And, if you report bullying, this is often why authority figures side with them and blame you.
Moreover, because the bullies have curried favor with bosses or teachers, they may cover up their behavior.
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38. They take up space.
You will often spot bullies standing in the center of a room. They’ll be standing with their feet shoulder-width apart and arms akimbo. They do this to look bigger.
Bullies also like to sit on the stairs or walk in the middle of the hall. These are power plays to subtly force people to move around them.
39. Rigid thinking.
They despise change. Moreover, they don’t like anything or anyone who’s different.
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40. Sabotage.
Bullies are saboteurs. Ways they sabotage you include social tactics like character assassination and smear campaigns.
They also come between you and your plans for the future. For instance, they may try to discourage you from pursuing your dreams by ridiculing you. If you’re studying to become a doctor, they may laugh and tell you that you aren’t smart enough.
Bullies will also sabotage you at work by derailing a project or taking credit for your ideas.
BONUS:
41. Overly-Aggressive.
Aggression comes in many forms. Some bullies use physical aggression to get what they want. Others use psychological.
But whatever kind they use, they go overboard to intimidate you into submitting to their every whim.
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In conclusion
You can spot them by their attitudes and their behavior. Their body language conveys dominance.
The tactics bullies use are dead giveaways. And if you see them act this way toward anyone else, they may do it to you sooner or later.
Bullies often have large clusters of these behaviors and tactics. Therefore, spotting them is easier than you think. You just have to pay attention.
This post was all about the 40 Characteristics of Bullies so that you can spot them before they have a chance to target you.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know
2. Bullying Characteristics: 10 Bullying Behaviors to Be Aware of
3. The Perfect Victim: 9 Traits Bullies Look for in Potential Targets
4. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection