Let’s address the subject of bullied girls and dating because there’s not enough information about it. If you’re a bullied female and wondering how to find a date or navigate an existing relationship, this post is for you.

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It’s not uncommon for female victims of bullying to have difficulty in the dating world. In this post, you will learn about bullying and dating to understand how it can affect your dating life.

Once you learn all these crucial details, you will recognize if you’re about to fall into unhealthy patterns. You will also be compelled to take control of your dating life.

This post is all about bullied girls and dating to give you the information you need to hold on to your self-respect and take your power back.

Bullied Girls and Dating

Bullied girls may sometimes turn to males to obtain the acceptance they aren’t getting from their peers. Some even go on “sexcapades” to feel desirable.

I say this because during school, I leaned on romance and sex for comfort. Having a boyfriend is such a welcome change when you’re a bullied young girl. It’s like a soft pillow to land on when you fall.

Dating and sex can be used to rebut the messages bullies send you. They’re confirmation that you’re worthy of love. Moreover, this approach to dating is unhealthy.

And you look to your guy to rescue you. You see him as your refuge from a cold, cruel world that hates you. However, this is unhealthy.

Females gravitate toward relationships.

Women and girls have an innate desire to nurture. In other words, they maintain relationships, whether familial, romantic, or friendships.

Family is still important. But teenage girls place more value on friendships with other girls and romantic relationships with boys. And if her peers won’t accept her, she will get acceptance elsewhere.

Therefore, she turns to males outside her school for the validation she craves. Dating outside of the bullying environment is a good way to skirt around your ruined reputation and still get opportunities to date.

Being bullied can negatively impact a girl’s dating life. Why? Three reasons.

Bullied Girls and Dating:

1. Bullies will Poison the well.

Bullies, especially female bullies, will deliberately try to poison the well. In other words, they will deliberately try to lower your dating prospects. And they will use gossip and smear campaigns to make you unattractive to potential partners.

These vicious bullies may call you names that attack the feminine virtues. They may call you a “whore” or a “slut.” And what person wants to date one of those types?

You may not be what they call you. However, when you’re being bullied, it isn’t about who you are. It’s about who everyone thinks you are. Reputation spreads faster than truth.

Bullying diminishes dating opportunities. When bullies destroy your reputation through malicious gossip, potential partners may pass you over.

Therefore, you will likely miss out on dating and romance. Or you might meet and date partners outside of the bullying environment. This is okay.

2. You may have Trust Issues.

It causes low self-esteem and trust issues. You may feel unworthy of a partner. Moreover, you may have a hard time trusting people enough to date them.

Bullied Girls and Dating:

3. Male Dependency

When you’re bullied, you may turn to romantic relationships to compensate for your lack of friends.  And it’s because you only want to feel wanted.

You may think that having a partner is the only way you can have a sense of worth. Therefore, you may be desperate for a boyfriend.

And you may date any guy who will have you. When you aren’t selective about the people you date, you risk choosing unhealthy partners.

And you have a higher chance of ending up in an abusive relationship. Moreover, you might stay in it to keep from being alone.

So, how do you keep your self-respect and stay away from unhealthy relationships when you’re being bullied? You keep your standards high.

Let’s explain further.

Desperation.

Because your bullies have convinced you that you have little or no options, you might drop your standards. In other words, you’ll date anyone who shows their teeth to you without observing their behavior first.

You want a partner so bad that you ignore any red flags. As a result, you set yourself up for abuse. Why? Because all you’re looking for is a warm body to validate you. Nothing more.

It’s also the reason you rush into having sex. This isn’t good!

When you see a romantic relationship as a band-aid to feelings of loneliness, you’re wandering into dangerous territory.

Bullied Girls and Dating:

How do you keep bullies from negatively affecting dating and romance?

There are ways you can spare yourself.

1. Let love come from within.

You must love yourself, or nobody will love you. Never look outside of yourself for love and validation. Too many girls and women look to outside sources for love, and this is dangerous.

Why? Because it causes you to cling to partners who don’t care about you. Moreover, you hold on too tightly. Even worse, you chase people who aren’t worth your time.

As a result, you make yourself look desperate.

But when you allow love to come from within, you’re willing to walk away from selfish or abusive partners. Also, you’re willing to stay alone until someone better comes along.

A partner is not the end-all, be-all. Never depend on others for love. Instead, let love come from within your heart!

2. Be Selective of those you date.

This isn’t exclusion, it’s safety. Be choosy about the guys you date. Don’t date just anyone. Observe their behavior. Notice how they carry themselves.

If you see them mistreat other girls, they will do the same to you eventually. And if they treat their mother like crap, definitely cross them off your list of possibilities.

If their behavior doesn’t match their words, don’t even consider them.

Bullied Girls and Dating:

3. No booty calls, Ever!

For Pete’s sake, don’t hook up! Too many guys will use you, then throw you away. Too many bullied girls rush into sex because bullies have made them feel unlovable, or, in a bully’s words, “unf*ckable.”

Therefore, they resort to giving it up to their partners way too early just to prove that they are. If nothing else, know this right now! You don’t have to have sex to prove that you can. You are not a one-night stand.

Respect yourself. Make your partner wait. Because you’re worth the wait. Make sure he’s earned it. Make sure he puts a ring on your finger first.

There’s a reason why it’s best to make your partner wait a while before having sex with him.

You don’t only show that you have respect for yourself and your body. But you also weed out the creeps who are only looking to score.

If a guy is only interested in sex, he will not want to wait for it. Keep him waiting for any length of time, and he’ll only break it off and move on to an easier girl.

Trust me, this is what you should want. Why? Because if he only wants your body, he doesn’t value you like you deserve to be valued.

A person like that doesn’t deserve to be with you.

Bullied Girls and Dating:

Signs Your Date Only Wants One Thing

So, how do you know if he wants a relationship or if he’s only out to get in your pants? Here are the red flags you should watch for.

• All he talks about is sex.
• He begs to sleep with you.
• He lays guilt trips if you don’t sleep with him.
• You overhear him bragging about the number of females he’s slept with.
• He puts his ex down.
• He undresses you with his eyes.
• You find out he’s addicted to porn.

Signs he’s abusive towards women and girls.

• He disrespects his mother.
• His attitude is that females are only here for his convenience.
• He has a chauvinist attitude.

I can’t stress this enough. How he treats his mother is a huge tell. If he mistreats her, he will do it to you, too. Just give him time.

Bullied Girls and Dating:

In conclusion.

Most bullied girls suffer from low self-esteem. As a result, they may have difficulty dating and making friends. Because of low self-worth, they may go out with just anyone and cling to partners who abuse them.

Real men don’t want an easy woman. They want a high-value woman- a woman who has morals and who respects herself enough to wait it out.

They want a woman who is true to herself and who has standards. Most importantly, they want a woman who knows who she is and what she wants, and isn’t afraid to go after it.

And you’re worth so much more than just a one-night romp between the sheets. You’re worth a lifetime commitment from the right guy at the right time. Always remember that.

This post was all about bullied girls and dating so that you can prevent bullies from having any say over your dating and enjoy a healthy relationship with the right person.

 Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Know Your Worth As a Woman: 5 Rules to Live by

2. How to Deal with a Bullying Partner

3. How Does Bullying Affect the Victim’s Friendships?

4. Woman Card: A Survival Tool for Female Victims of Bullying