Want to know the hidden truth behind bullying most people miss? Here are all the details you need to know.
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Bullies don’t bully just anyone. They carefully select their targets. Moreover, anti-bullying policies don’t work. And there’s a reason that no one realizes, not even “the experts.”
Therefore, in this post, you will learn the hidden truth behind bullying that most people miss, so you can better understand where it comes from.
Once you discover the hidden factor behind the torment, you will be better able to strategize and take steps to overcome it.
This post will give you the unknown reason behind the bullying you suffer so that you can more easily make yourself bully-proof and rise above bullying.
The Hidden Truth Behind Bullying
It’s not so much what we know about bullying. It’s what we still don’t know. In other words, it’s what most of us miss. Here are the facts most don’t realize.
1. Bullying is Strategic.
It may not look that way, but bullies are calculating. They plot and scheme. And they plan their attacks well in advance.
But first, they must decide who to target.
Bullies usually choose those who can’t fight back. They also pick people who won’t be defended. Lastly, they select someone they can put down and improve their social status.
2. Bullying is More than Just behavior, it’s a Tool.
Many institutions, like schools and workplaces, have a social ranking system. People tend to sort others into one of three categories. Therefore, it isn’t about fairness.
It’s about “how can I climb the social ladder and whose back can I step on to do it?” It’s also about, “Who can I bully and get away with it?”
They don’t ask, “Is this the kind thing to do?” Kindness goes out the window when someone wants to move up the social ladder.
Therefore, they use bullying to push you down so they can move up or stay up.
The Hidden Truth Behind Bullying:
3. It’s not about who’s different, It’s about Who has the least power.
People are placed in three possible categories:
- High status
- Equal status
- Low status
There are plenty of those who are “different.” However, not all of them get bullied. Even “normal” people get bullied.
Bullying is less about difference and more about vulnerability. Bullies are cowards. They won’t bully just anyone. Instead, they search for safe targets- those who are less likely to fight back.
They also look for those who have low status. Why? Because these are low-risk. And they yield the best social rewards.
4. Reputation SPREADS faster than truth.
Once someone is labeled “weird” or “weak,” that label can stick even if it’s false. As a result, the label will spread quickly throughout the community.
And no one will bother to verify it. Why? Because it’s easier to believe it than to question it. And once your reputation takes a hit, your social position drops.
Bullies will target you. Then, you become persona non grata. In other words, you’re no longer welcome.
The Hidden Truth Behind Bullying:
5. Bullying is Mostly a Group Effort.
Bullies rarely bully alone. They need groupies to back them up. Even when one person is bullying you, an audience is there to see it.
Moreover, some bystanders may be the bully’s supporters. Only you won’t know it because they’re silent about it. Others will just be damn glad that it isn’t them who’s taking the heat.
However, most bullies bully in packs. They will all gang up on you because they know that there’s strength in numbers.
The more bullies there are, the more powerful the group.
6. Most bullies bully to protect their own social status.
As I mentioned earlier, bullying is a tool to either gain status or to protect it. Bullies will shove you down so that they can stay up.
Bullying is a zero-sum game. In other words, you must lose for them to win. There is no in-between. In fact, it’s the only way they can win.
Therefore, the ends justify the means. If they can keep you in the basement, then they can enjoy the penthouse suite.
The Hidden Truth Behind Bullying:
7. Most bullying is subtle, not obvious.
Most bullies, especially those with high status, don’t bully directly. They do it subtly. For example, they may use the silent treatment on you. Or they may exclude you from important functions.
You see? High-status people don’t like to get their hands dirty. They can bully you and still look innocent. Therefore, they’re sneaky with the insults.
Others may send others to bully you. They may get someone on the lower levels to do their dirty work for them.
For instance, a popular homecoming queen may enlist someone of lower status to harm her victim. And if the attacker gets caught, they take the fall while she keeps her hands clean.
And no one will be the wiser.
8. Bullying isn’t just people being mean, It’s an organized System.
You may be tempted to explain bullying as “some people are just mean.” And that’s a factor. However, this doesn’t explain why.
Understand that even “nice” people can become bullies. And they usually do when they fear becoming the next target.
And different ones either stay silent or join in. Therefore, bullying is a system. It’s made up of different roles, positions, and incentives.
The Hidden Truth Behind Bullying:
9. Every Bullying Situation is Structured.
Why? or How? You may wonder.
It has different actors who play their roles. You have the instigator, who starts shit with you. You then have the reinforcers, who point and laugh at you.
Next, you have the bystanders, who see it but say nothing. Lastly, you have the victim, who catches the abuse. That’s you.
You may have the defenders, but they’re rare. Most people don’t stand up for victims.
10. Success doesn’t lessen Bullying. It Triggers more of it.
When you reach success in something, you might expect the bullying to stop. However, it won’t. It will only get worse.
Why? Because bullies see you as inferior. Therefore, they will resent you for your success. By making an accomplishment, you threaten the hierarchy. Moreover, you disrupt the way others think of you.
In other words, you step out of your place. Therefore, bullies will intensify the abuse to pull you down. They will try to force you back into the role they assigned you. And that role is “victim.”
The Hidden Truth Behind Bullying:
11. Anti-Bullying policies Don’t work.
Most institutions today have policies against bullying. However, you can’t rely on those policies. Why? Because they have no teeth! Anti-bullying policies aren’t worth a damn.
The only reason schools and workplaces have these policies is that the government requires them. Therefore, these guidelines are only for decoration.
In fact, these places have had anti-bullying policies for at least a decade. Yet, cases of bullying continue to rise exponentially. And it’s because those in power ignore it.
Schools sweep incidents under the rug. And they refuse to allow victims’ parents to see any surveillance footage of bullying attacks.
They blame the victim. And they may even go so far as to take revenge on parents who fight for their child. Therefore, the only reason these policies exist is to make the institution look good.
Schools and workplaces can write all the anti-bullying rules and policies they want. But until they enforce those policies, they’re cheap. As cheap as the ink and paper administrators use to write them!
Policies are no good if they aren’t enforced.
Bullying is about who has the least power.
Those with the least power are the ones bullies will target. You see? They prefer to pick low-hanging fruit. Why? Because they don’t have to work as hard to bring these people down.
Think about it. Those who are powerless can’t defend themselves. Most power comes from social connections. And if you have no power, you likely don’t have any friends. Therefore, no one will stand up for you.
If no one will back you up, you might as well be caught with your pants down around your ankles. Because you’re stuck out in the open with your ass hanging in the breeze.
The Hidden Truth Behind Bullying:
In conclusion
There are facts about bullying, hidden ones that most people haven’t caught on to yet. These are things bullies do not want you to know. And some of this stuff takes years to learn through trial and error.
Why waste years of your life learning through trial and error when you can do it by reading and researching?
Before we Finish, Let’s do a quick recap.
Here’s a summary of what you just learned. The hidden truth behind bullying is:
- Bullying is strategic, not random.
- Bullying is more than just behavior; it’s a tool.
- It’s not about who’s different; it’s about who has the least power.
- Reputation spreads faster than truth.
- Bullying is mostly a group effort.
- Most bullies bully to protect their own social status.
- Most bullying is subtle, not obvious.
- Bullying isn’t just people being mean; it’s an organized system.
- Every bullying situation is structured.
- Success doesn’t lessen bullying; it triggers more of it.
- Anti-bullying policies don’t work.
Once you know these things, you’ll know more of what to do to avoid becoming a victim. And if you already are a victim, you’ll use this information to go from victim to victor.
This post is all about the hidden truth behind bullying that most people miss, so that you can be aware and use it to protect yourself or someone you love.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn
2. Reasons Why People Bully – 7 Most Common Motives
3. Things School Bullies Try to Hide: 13 Things They’re Ashamed Of